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When an Atheist sneezes

brontoraptor
Posts: 11,685
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7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."

http://youtu.be...
janesix
Posts: 3,491
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7/23/2016 11:13:01 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

Gesundheit

Did i spell that right?
brontoraptor
Posts: 11,685
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7/23/2016 11:15:41 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 11:13:01 PM, janesix wrote:
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

Gesundheit

Did i spell that right?

Yup. T h a t. Looks correct.
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."

http://youtu.be...
DanneJeRusse
Posts: 12,652
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7/24/2016 12:39:46 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

"There's a booger on your face"

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...
Marrying a 6 year old and waiting until she reaches puberty and maturity before having consensual sex is better than walking up to
a stranger in a bar and proceeding to have relations with no valid proof of the intent of the person. Muhammad wins. ~ Fatihah
If they don't want to be killed then they have to subdue to the Islamic laws. - Uncung
Without God, you are lower than sh!t. ~ SpiritandTruth
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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7/24/2016 1:24:43 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

If you want to know, bronto, we have taught our son to excuse himself when he sneezes - that is all.

No well wishing, no evil spirits. Just a sneeze.
brontoraptor
Posts: 11,685
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7/24/2016 2:51:19 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/24/2016 1:24:43 AM, TBR wrote:
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

If you want to know, bronto, we have taught our son to excuse himself when he sneezes - that is all.

No well wishing, no evil spirits. Just a sneeze.

Hmmm...a collateral damage child.
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."

http://youtu.be...
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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7/24/2016 3:02:12 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/24/2016 2:51:19 AM, brontoraptor wrote:
At 7/24/2016 1:24:43 AM, TBR wrote:
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

If you want to know, bronto, we have taught our son to excuse himself when he sneezes - that is all.

No well wishing, no evil spirits. Just a sneeze.

Hmmm...a collateral damage child.

Bronto - my son is a happy and bright child. He will have the many benefits you missed.
Bennett91
Posts: 4,237
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7/24/2016 6:18:24 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

I prefer nothing be said. Nobody says 'bless you' over a fart why should a sneeze be anymore holy?
Willows
Posts: 2,091
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7/24/2016 3:32:02 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

I have to say I enjoyed that. It was so funny, I mean so funny, I have not laughed so much in a long time so I really have to thank you there Bronto....never seen anything funnier. Wait a minute yes I have seen something 10 times as funny......your posts.
Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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7/24/2016 11:15:28 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
Atheist: ACHOOO!

Other Person: God Bless You

Atheist: I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Oops. Bless you.

Atheist: Once again, I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Gesundheit!

Atheist: ICH BIN EIN VERDAMMTER ATHEIST!

Other Person: What? I have no idea what you just said.

Atheist: I said I'm a f**king atheist in German!

Other Person: Well, I hope you get better. May God take care of you.

Atheist goes towards other person and pulls out knife

Atheist: That was a good riddance and the best part is since I don't believe in God, I don't have to worry about going to heaven or hell.

Atheist suddenly freezes and pauses in fear

Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church

Priest: May God bless you all!

Just as priest finishes saying that...

Atheist: PRIEST! QUICK! I NEED A BIBLE, A CHAPLET, AND HOLY WATER STAT!

Priest: HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MASS?! God will surely punish you for this!

Atheist: OH NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE punished. I want to go to heaven!

Atheist cries

Priest: I don't have a spare bible for you to have but if you like, you can come to confession and confess your sins to God. That way, God will forgive you.

Atheist: YES YES YES!

At Confession...

Priest: Now, my precious atheist, confess your sins.

Atheist: Well, I killed someone for saying, "Bless You" when I sneezed.

Priest: And why was that?

Atheist: Because I don't believe in God!

Priest shrieks heavily

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEHHHHH! *GASP*

Priest gasps until he's out of breath

Atheist: OH MY GOD! HE...HE...HE'S NOT BREATHING!

Atheist calls 911

911: 911, what is your emergency?

Atheist: A priest is unconscious and not breathing!

911: OH MY GOD! We'll be there STAT!

When the ambulance arrives...

Atheist: Will he be okay?

Ambulance: Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's in...God's hands.

The End
Skepticalone
Posts: 6,137
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7/25/2016 12:12:58 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

It really makes no difference to me. "Bless you" is pretty common response to a sneeze in my part of the world, and I think many people say it absentmindedly unaware of the reason why anyone ever started saying it for a sneeze.

https://www.theguardian.com...
This thread is like eavesdropping on a conversation in a mental asylum. - Bulproof

You can call your invisible friends whatever you like. - Desmac

What the hell kind of coked up sideshow has this thread turned into. - Casten
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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7/25/2016 12:20:43 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/24/2016 11:15:28 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Atheist: ACHOOO!

Other Person: God Bless You

Atheist: I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Oops. Bless you.

Atheist: Once again, I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Gesundheit!

Atheist: ICH BIN EIN VERDAMMTER ATHEIST!

Other Person: What? I have no idea what you just said.

Atheist: I said I'm a f**king atheist in German!

Other Person: Well, I hope you get better. May God take care of you.

Atheist goes towards other person and pulls out knife

Atheist: That was a good riddance and the best part is since I don't believe in God, I don't have to worry about going to heaven or hell.

Atheist suddenly freezes and pauses in fear

Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church

Priest: May God bless you all!

Just as priest finishes saying that...

Atheist: PRIEST! QUICK! I NEED A BIBLE, A CHAPLET, AND HOLY WATER STAT!

Priest: HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MASS?! God will surely punish you for this!

Atheist: OH NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE punished. I want to go to heaven!

Atheist cries

Priest: I don't have a spare bible for you to have but if you like, you can come to confession and confess your sins to God. That way, God will forgive you.

Atheist: YES YES YES!

At Confession...

Priest: Now, my precious atheist, confess your sins.

Atheist: Well, I killed someone for saying, "Bless You" when I sneezed.

Priest: And why was that?

Atheist: Because I don't believe in God!

Priest shrieks heavily

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEHHHHH! *GASP*

Priest gasps until he's out of breath

Atheist: OH MY GOD! HE...HE...HE'S NOT BREATHING!

Atheist calls 911

911: 911, what is your emergency?

Atheist: A priest is unconscious and not breathing!

911: OH MY GOD! We'll be there STAT!

When the ambulance arrives...

Atheist: Will he be okay?

Ambulance: Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's in...God's hands.

The End

what the f**k is this?
Skepticalone
Posts: 6,137
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7/25/2016 2:00:58 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/25/2016 12:20:43 AM, TBR wrote:
At 7/24/2016 11:15:28 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Atheist: ACHOOO!

Other Person: God Bless You

Atheist: I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Oops. Bless you.

Atheist: Once again, I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Gesundheit!

Atheist: ICH BIN EIN VERDAMMTER ATHEIST!

Other Person: What? I have no idea what you just said.

Atheist: I said I'm a f**king atheist in German!

Other Person: Well, I hope you get better. May God take care of you.

Atheist goes towards other person and pulls out knife

Atheist: That was a good riddance and the best part is since I don't believe in God, I don't have to worry about going to heaven or hell.

Atheist suddenly freezes and pauses in fear

Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church

Priest: May God bless you all!

Just as priest finishes saying that...

Atheist: PRIEST! QUICK! I NEED A BIBLE, A CHAPLET, AND HOLY WATER STAT!

Priest: HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MASS?! God will surely punish you for this!

Atheist: OH NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE punished. I want to go to heaven!

Atheist cries

Priest: I don't have a spare bible for you to have but if you like, you can come to confession and confess your sins to God. That way, God will forgive you.

Atheist: YES YES YES!

At Confession...

Priest: Now, my precious atheist, confess your sins.

Atheist: Well, I killed someone for saying, "Bless You" when I sneezed.

Priest: And why was that?

Atheist: Because I don't believe in God!

Priest shrieks heavily

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEHHHHH! *GASP*

Priest gasps until he's out of breath

Atheist: OH MY GOD! HE...HE...HE'S NOT BREATHING!

Atheist calls 911

911: 911, what is your emergency?

Atheist: A priest is unconscious and not breathing!

911: OH MY GOD! We'll be there STAT!

When the ambulance arrives...

Atheist: Will he be okay?

Ambulance: Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's in...God's hands.

The End

what the f**k is this?

Incoherence.
This thread is like eavesdropping on a conversation in a mental asylum. - Bulproof

You can call your invisible friends whatever you like. - Desmac

What the hell kind of coked up sideshow has this thread turned into. - Casten
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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7/25/2016 2:03:57 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church


Incoherence.

Right? Above is the "turn" in the story. Where is the reason?
Foodiesoul
Posts: 579
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7/25/2016 4:13:16 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/25/2016 12:20:43 AM, TBR wrote:
At 7/24/2016 11:15:28 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Atheist: ACHOOO!

Other Person: God Bless You

Atheist: I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Oops. Bless you.

Atheist: Once again, I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Gesundheit!

Atheist: ICH BIN EIN VERDAMMTER ATHEIST!

Other Person: What? I have no idea what you just said.

Atheist: I said I'm a f**king atheist in German!

Other Person: Well, I hope you get better. May God take care of you.

Atheist goes towards other person and pulls out knife

Atheist: That was a good riddance and the best part is since I don't believe in God, I don't have to worry about going to heaven or hell.

Atheist suddenly freezes and pauses in fear

Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church

Priest: May God bless you all!

Just as priest finishes saying that...

Atheist: PRIEST! QUICK! I NEED A BIBLE, A CHAPLET, AND HOLY WATER STAT!

Priest: HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MASS?! God will surely punish you for this!

Atheist: OH NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE punished. I want to go to heaven!

Atheist cries

Priest: I don't have a spare bible for you to have but if you like, you can come to confession and confess your sins to God. That way, God will forgive you.

Atheist: YES YES YES!

At Confession...

Priest: Now, my precious atheist, confess your sins.

Atheist: Well, I killed someone for saying, "Bless You" when I sneezed.

Priest: And why was that?

Atheist: Because I don't believe in God!

Priest shrieks heavily

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEHHHHH! *GASP*

Priest gasps until he's out of breath

Atheist: OH MY GOD! HE...HE...HE'S NOT BREATHING!

Atheist calls 911

911: 911, what is your emergency?

Atheist: A priest is unconscious and not breathing!

911: OH MY GOD! We'll be there STAT!

When the ambulance arrives...

Atheist: Will he be okay?

Ambulance: Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's in...God's hands.

The End

what the f**k is this?

It's humor and satire.
TBR
Posts: 9,991
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7/25/2016 6:55:37 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/25/2016 4:13:16 AM, Foodiesoul wrote:
At 7/25/2016 12:20:43 AM, TBR wrote:
At 7/24/2016 11:15:28 PM, Foodiesoul wrote:
Atheist: ACHOOO!

Other Person: God Bless You

Atheist: I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Oops. Bless you.

Atheist: Once again, I'm an atheist.

Other Person: Gesundheit!

Atheist: ICH BIN EIN VERDAMMTER ATHEIST!

Other Person: What? I have no idea what you just said.

Atheist: I said I'm a f**king atheist in German!

Other Person: Well, I hope you get better. May God take care of you.

Atheist goes towards other person and pulls out knife

Atheist: That was a good riddance and the best part is since I don't believe in God, I don't have to worry about going to heaven or hell.

Atheist suddenly freezes and pauses in fear

Atheist: Wait but if I don't believe in God and if I killed an innocent person which is technically a sin, then that means...I'm going to burn in hell.

Atheist rushes to the nearest church

Priest: May God bless you all!

Just as priest finishes saying that...

Atheist: PRIEST! QUICK! I NEED A BIBLE, A CHAPLET, AND HOLY WATER STAT!

Priest: HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MASS?! God will surely punish you for this!

Atheist: OH NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO BE punished. I want to go to heaven!

Atheist cries

Priest: I don't have a spare bible for you to have but if you like, you can come to confession and confess your sins to God. That way, God will forgive you.

Atheist: YES YES YES!

At Confession...

Priest: Now, my precious atheist, confess your sins.

Atheist: Well, I killed someone for saying, "Bless You" when I sneezed.

Priest: And why was that?

Atheist: Because I don't believe in God!

Priest shrieks heavily

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEEEEHHHHH! *GASP*

Priest gasps until he's out of breath

Atheist: OH MY GOD! HE...HE...HE'S NOT BREATHING!

Atheist calls 911

911: 911, what is your emergency?

Atheist: A priest is unconscious and not breathing!

911: OH MY GOD! We'll be there STAT!

When the ambulance arrives...

Atheist: Will he be okay?

Ambulance: Don't worry. He's in good hands. He's in...God's hands.

The End

what the f**k is this?

It's humor and satire.

That is what you think.

Satire and humor require though, insight. This had none of the hallmarks of humor.
ANON_TacTiX
Posts: 460
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8/2/2016 4:54:41 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/23/2016 9:59:19 PM, brontoraptor wrote:
What should we say?

(Dane Cook)

http://youtu.be...

Gesundheit. It is German (obviously), and it translates to "health."
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein
keithprosser
Posts: 2,085
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8/2/2016 6:51:40 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
I'm perfectly happy to hear 'Bless you' and even 'God bless you' when I sneeze. I'd say 99% of the time saying 'Bless you' is a reflex action, uttered with no actual thought as to it's meaning and no with meaning infered on hearing it except as an arbitrary signifier of sympathy.
desmac
Posts: 5,078
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8/2/2016 7:31:11 AM
Posted: 4 months ago
The reason people started saying God bless you when someone sneezed is that the sneezer was very likely about to die of Bubonic plague. As medical science has all but eradicated that awful diesease the phrase lingers as a verbal nicety much like goodbye.