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Help me start a new religion.

brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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12/31/2010 5:06:22 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
There's money to be made out of religion – lots of it – and the really great news is that it's all tax-free!

With scientific advances vastly expanding man's understanding of the universe around him, together with the education of the masses, the teachings of the major religions have largely been discredited and their followers are often the subject of ridicule and derision.

This means there's a huge spiritual vacuum to fill because there will always be emotionally-vulnerable people in search of a "higher meaning" to their lives.

We know there's money to be made out of these spiritually credulous punters: the astrologers, fortune-tellers and other new age spiritualists are already cashing in on them big time.

There's never been a better time to establish a new religion – so let's get together and found a faith that doesn't contradict scientific principles, that is easy to follow (no giving up alcohol or sex or anything like that) and, most importantly, will make us all very rich!
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/31/2010 5:16:37 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 5:06:22 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
There's money to be made out of religion – lots of it – and the really great news is that it's all tax-free!

With scientific advances vastly expanding man's understanding of the universe around him, together with the education of the masses, the teachings of the major religions have largely been discredited and their followers are often the subject of ridicule and derision.

This means there's a huge spiritual vacuum to fill because there will always be emotionally-vulnerable people in search of a "higher meaning" to their lives.

We know there's money to be made out of these spiritually credulous punters: the astrologers, fortune-tellers and other new age spiritualists are already cashing in on them big time.

There's never been a better time to establish a new religion – so let's get together and found a faith that doesn't contradict scientific principles, that is easy to follow (no giving up alcohol or sex or anything like that) and, most importantly, will make us all very rich!

Come over to Discordianism. That's where the party is.
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
J.Kenyon
Posts: 4,194
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12/31/2010 5:50:59 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 5:16:37 AM, FREEDO wrote:
Come over to Discordianism. That's where the party is.

There's no money in that...
FREEDO
Posts: 21,057
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12/31/2010 6:36:38 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 5:41:21 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
What's the tag-line? "Where there is harmony, let there be discord"?

No, actually it would be more like "Where there appears to be harmony, there is only discord".
GRAND POOBAH OF DDO

fnord
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
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12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
But Scientology is already a religion... LOL!!!
Joking of course, but the problem with this plan is that people of the major monotheistic religions do not believe in science, so how are you going to convince them? You would probably have better luck doing what that guy does in Mexico, where he simply claims to be Jesus' disciple(has 100K+ followers). Let's get our asses to Mexico!
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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12/31/2010 9:26:35 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
Let's get our asses to Mexico!

So long as they don't have good internet connections down there...

I say you Go Do it man.... yeah!...
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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12/31/2010 10:20:40 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
But Scientology is already a religion... LOL!!!
Joking of course, but the problem with this plan is that people of the major monotheistic religions do not believe in science, so how are you going to convince them? You would probably have better luck doing what that guy does in Mexico, where he simply claims to be Jesus' disciple(has 100K+ followers). Let's get our asses to Mexico!

Seriously? So by this, you believe that all science is completely dependent on atheists and agnostics, or i guess those who follow minor polytheistic religions? Either you are sloppy with such a statement, or you have a distorted view of those who belong to the major religions of the world. Is there a minority who reject science? Sure, but you cannot believe that a devout Jew cannot be a scientist, or a practicing Catholic would reject physics. Obvious hate is obvious hate.
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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12/31/2010 10:35:04 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 10:20:40 AM, innomen wrote:
At 12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
But Scientology is already a religion... LOL!!!
Joking of course, but the problem with this plan is that people of the major monotheistic religions do not believe in science, so how are you going to convince them? You would probably have better luck doing what that guy does in Mexico, where he simply claims to be Jesus' disciple(has 100K+ followers). Let's get our asses to Mexico!

Seriously? So by this, you believe that all science is completely dependent on atheists and agnostics, or i guess those who follow minor polytheistic religions? Either you are sloppy with such a statement, or you have a distorted view of those who belong to the major religions of the world. Is there a minority who reject science? Sure, but you cannot believe that a devout Jew cannot be a scientist, or a practicing Catholic would reject physics. Obvious hate is obvious hate.

Per se this is true
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
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12/31/2010 11:46:40 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 10:20:40 AM, innomen wrote:
At 12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
But Scientology is already a religion... LOL!!!
Joking of course, but the problem with this plan is that people of the major monotheistic religions do not believe in science, so how are you going to convince them? You would probably have better luck doing what that guy does in Mexico, where he simply claims to be Jesus' disciple(has 100K+ followers). Let's get our asses to Mexico!

Seriously? So by this, you believe that all science is completely dependent on atheists and agnostics, or i guess those who follow minor polytheistic religions? Either you are sloppy with such a statement, or you have a distorted view of those who belong to the major religions of the world. Is there a minority who reject science? Sure, but you cannot believe that a devout Jew cannot be a scientist, or a practicing Catholic would reject physics. Obvious hate is obvious hate.

Of course this was a blanket statement, and one that was obviously made in jest. By the way, that is a true story about the guy claiming devinity, with 100k+ followers. What does that say about that group of people?
gavin.ogden
Posts: 1,729
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12/31/2010 11:48:04 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 9:26:35 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 12/31/2010 9:22:38 AM, gavin.ogden wrote:
Let's get our asses to Mexico!

So long as they don't have good internet connections down there...

I say you Go Do it man.... yeah!...

Oh, you don't want to join? I'll send a post card if my internet goes down.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/31/2010 12:06:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 5:06:22 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
There's money to be made out of religion – lots of it – and the really great news is that it's all tax-free!

With scientific advances vastly expanding man's understanding of the universe around him, together with the education of the masses, the teachings of the major religions have largely been discredited and their followers are often the subject of ridicule and derision.

This means there's a huge spiritual vacuum to fill because there will always be emotionally-vulnerable people in search of a "higher meaning" to their lives.

We know there's money to be made out of these spiritually credulous punters: the astrologers, fortune-tellers and other new age spiritualists are already cashing in on them big time.

There's never been a better time to establish a new religion – so let's get together and found a faith that doesn't contradict scientific principles, that is easy to follow (no giving up alcohol or sex or anything like that) and, most importantly, will make us all very rich!

http://en.wikipedia.org...
except for the last part . . .
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/31/2010 12:19:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Lets make it monotheistic . . . we will call the god Liu Kang
He created three beings to do his bidding . . . the first of these is his being of chaos Ken, the second being is the being of order Ryu, and the last of these is the being of knowledge Mario . . .
This religion is based around the fat that these powerful entities have come back in the form of video games and must be played in order to lay patronage to their power . . .
We can make money by selling games and game consoles for a lower price than most places and also being conveniently located next to every other type of place of worship (after they go to church they come out and buy a new video game) . . .
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.
SuperRobotWars
Posts: 3,906
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12/31/2010 6:07:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 12/31/2010 12:19:59 PM, SuperRobotWars wrote:
Lets make it monotheistic . . . we will call the god Liu Kang
He created three beings to do his bidding . . . the first of these is his being of chaos Ken, the second being is the being of order Ryu, and the last of these is the being of knowledge Mario . . .
This religion is based around the fat that these powerful entities have come back in the form of video games and must be played in order to lay patronage to their power . . .
We can make money by selling games and game consoles for a lower price than most places and also being conveniently located next to every other type of place of worship (after they go to church they come out and buy a new video game) . . .

. . . bow before the one and only truth . . .
Minister Of Trolling
: At 12/6/2011 2:21:41 PM, badger wrote:
: ugly people should beat beautiful people ugly. simple! you'd be killing two birds with the one stone... women like violent men and you're making yourself more attractive, relatively. i met a blonde dude who was prettier than me not so long ago. he's not so pretty now! ha!
:
: ...and well, he wasn't really prettier than me. he just had nice hair.