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Is The Bible Funny?

Willows
Posts: 2,053
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9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
tarantula
Posts: 854
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9/30/2016 10:12:24 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

It would be funny if it wasn't taken as literally true by some, and used in a cruel and abusive manner by Biblical extremists.
illegalcombat
Posts: 632
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9/30/2016 10:35:39 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

Well............

Make Godly laws.....

Said Law kill bacon eaters........

Some time passes..........

Bacon is ok to eat now guys, don't worry about it.

LOL.
roun12
Posts: 177
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9/30/2016 11:06:52 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

Ezekiel 23:20

There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

Funniest verse of the Bible, right there.
"No, I disagree. 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it MURDER, not Muckduck." - Dwight

"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure." - George Carlin
dee-em
Posts: 6,466
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9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.
tarantula
Posts: 854
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9/30/2016 12:42:27 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.

Hardly funny for the poor pigs he killed playing silly exorcism nonsense.
dee-em
Posts: 6,466
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9/30/2016 12:52:55 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 12:42:27 PM, tarantula wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.

Hardly funny for the poor pigs he killed playing silly exorcism nonsense.

True, but it's just a funny story. There are no demons. Jesus himself is a mythical character.
tarantula
Posts: 854
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9/30/2016 1:08:17 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 12:52:55 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:42:27 PM, tarantula wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.

Hardly funny for the poor pigs he killed playing silly exorcism nonsense.

True, but it's just a funny story. There are no demons. Jesus himself is a mythical character.

I suspect a guy called Jesus existed, and was the peg on which fairy tales were hung.
RoderickSpode
Posts: 2,372
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9/30/2016 2:15:26 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
That depends. It's not funny in the conventional sense, no. The Bible doesn't need to be funny. The Bible points out certain seasons, including laughter.

Ecclesiastes 3:4
Parallel Verses
New International Version
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance


The Bible is very serious, just as medical reports are. They're not funny, but not meant to be funny. Sometimes they give relief, others not. The funniest comedians rarely, if ever, seem to pull off funny jokes on their death bed. It's always for the most part a serious moment.

However, there are different kinds of laughter/humor. The humor of the world often involves humor at the expense of someone else. And any humor in the media comic realm involving the Bible is generally aimed at attempting to dishonor another. There's a more healthier humor (or laughter) which is a laughter in support of someone's success and well being. If one of your siblings gets all A's in school, you might do a sort of victory laugh meant to extend good feeling of praise to your sibling. And a healthy laughter can even involve tears. But, often laughter humor is intended to harm another individual either directly, or to indirectly harm someone's reputation.
Geogeer
Posts: 4,244
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9/30/2016 4:48:11 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

I always thought this was kinda funny...

"If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also."

It's only a 2 garment society!
dee-em
Posts: 6,466
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9/30/2016 11:05:05 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 1:08:17 PM, tarantula wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:52:55 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:42:27 PM, tarantula wrote:
At 9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.

Hardly funny for the poor pigs he killed playing silly exorcism nonsense.

True, but it's just a funny story. There are no demons. Jesus himself is a mythical character.

I suspect a guy called Jesus existed, and was the peg on which fairy tales were hung.

No, I think elements were drawn from some real people later as the story was fleshed out (pun intended) but there was no central figure. Paul was the first to mention him, and to Paul he was not a human being.
skipsaweirdo
Posts: 1,865
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10/1/2016 3:02:04 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
I like the part where it mentions the behemoth with a tail like an oak tree. That's hilarious to think these people even thought, much less saw, an animal with a tail that big. What a silly imagination.....
dee-em
Posts: 6,466
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10/1/2016 3:28:57 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/1/2016 3:02:04 AM, skipsaweirdo wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
I like the part where it mentions the behemoth with a tail like an oak tree. That's hilarious to think these people even thought, much less saw, an animal with a tail that big. What a silly imagination.....

It was cedar (sapling probably) not oak, Skips. And it had a navel. And it could drink up an entire river. You might find this mythical beast keeping company with talking snakes and talking donkeys. Terrific imagination .....
keithprosser
Posts: 1,974
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10/1/2016 4:47:08 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
The bible is occasionally ridiculous, as when Balaam's donkey talks, but a comedy it ain't.

While not actually funny, but the Song of Solomon is a really nice love poem/story that has absolutely nothing to do with gods and miracles and everything to with falling and being in love. The SoS and and the world-weary philosophy of Ecclesiastes are way, way my favourite books in the Bible.
skipsaweirdo
Posts: 1,865
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10/1/2016 5:34:41 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/1/2016 3:28:57 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 10/1/2016 3:02:04 AM, skipsaweirdo wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
I like the part where it mentions the behemoth with a tail like an oak tree. That's hilarious to think these people even thought, much less saw, an animal with a tail that big. What a silly imagination.....

It was cedar (sapling probably) not oak, Skips. And it had a navel. And it could drink up an entire river. You might find this mythical beast keeping company with talking snakes and talking donkeys. Terrific imagination .....
The only imagination is someone who thinks a sapling would be referred to as a tree. And prove it was imagination....oh yeh you can't as usual. More bulllssssshhhhitttt deluded addition to the verse to justify what you can't accept.
dee-em
Posts: 6,466
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10/1/2016 8:23:36 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/1/2016 5:34:41 AM, skipsaweirdo wrote:
At 10/1/2016 3:28:57 AM, dee-em wrote:
At 10/1/2016 3:02:04 AM, skipsaweirdo wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?
I like the part where it mentions the behemoth with a tail like an oak tree. That's hilarious to think these people even thought, much less saw, an animal with a tail that big. What a silly imagination.....

It was cedar (sapling probably) not oak, Skips. And it had a navel. And it could drink up an entire river. You might find this mythical beast keeping company with talking snakes and talking donkeys. Terrific imagination .....

The only imagination is someone who thinks a sapling would be referred to as a tree.

The word tree is not used, Skips. That would be your imagination at work:

Job 40
17 He moveth his tail like a cedar: the sinews of his stones are wrapped together.


A tail looks nothing like a full grown tree, Skips, but we know your imagination knows no bounds. Lol.

And prove it was imagination....oh yeh you can't as usual. More bulllssssshhhhitttt deluded addition to the verse to justify what you can't accept.

You're the deluded one if you want me to prove that talking snakes and talking donkeys and behemoths which can drink a river like the Jordan dry exist. I mean really. How old are you, 5 or 6? Lol.
brontoraptor
Posts: 11,685
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10/3/2016 1:59:40 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

Yes. It says whales evolved form hyenas....oh wait...
"What Donald Trump is doing is representing the absolute heartbreak, and anger, and frustration at a government gone mad."

http://youtu.be...
matt8800
Posts: 2,077
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10/3/2016 2:30:53 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 12:41:12 PM, dee-em wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

The story of Jesus and the demon-possessed pigs is rather funny if you find humour in absurdity.

That would have been a good bit for Monty Python.
ANON_TacTiX
Posts: 460
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10/3/2016 3:04:29 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

Not that I have read, but I do find Psalm 14 kind of humorous. Not that it was meant to be.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. - Albert Einstein
Willows
Posts: 2,053
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10/3/2016 6:13:15 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/3/2016 1:59:40 AM, brontoraptor wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

Yes. It says whales evolved form hyenas....oh wait...
.....Man evolved from a piece of clay in one day....is that what you meant to say?
Willows
Posts: 2,053
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10/5/2016 8:52:04 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/5/2016 8:03:22 AM, freekundli wrote:
At 10/1/2016 8:25:55 AM, dee-em wrote:
* do not exist

What is the meaning of this?

It means that you are a theist.

If you dared to look slightly beyond the circle, in fact, 3cm above the post you would realise he was merely correcting his text.

But then, being so fixated on your imaginary friend you probably took it to be hidden code for "Satan will rain showers of brimstone upon all who don't believe"
Harikrish
Posts: 11,005
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10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!
MadCornishBiker
Posts: 23,302
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10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!

What is truly funny Harikrish, or maybe I should call you Shila Bridges, your latest incarnation on Facebook to cause me trouble, is that you thought you could come between me and my Dars, lol.

Let's face it. In one post under your own name on FB you said I have had 5 wives, and in a message to my Dars you claimed I had had 6, lol, you can't even get your lies and half truths straight, lol.

Anyway, you failed, both she, and her sister, know me far too well to fall for your lies and trollish behaviour

I suggest that you seek professional help, lol

Just thought I'd let you know, lol, you have failed, dismally.

I will be back on here when I am ready.
Harikrish
Posts: 11,005
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10/9/2016 2:50:42 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM, MadCornishBiker wrote:
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!

What is truly funny Harikrish, or maybe I should call you Shila Bridges, your latest incarnation on Facebook to cause me trouble, is that you thought you could come between me and my Dars, lol.

Let's face it. In one post under your own name on FB you said I have had 5 wives, and in a message to my Dars you claimed I had had 6, lol, you can't even get your lies and half truths straight, lol.

Anyway, you failed, both she, and her sister, know me far too well to fall for your lies and trollish behaviour

I suggest that you seek professional help, lol

Just thought I'd let you know, lol, you have failed, dismally.

I will be back on here when I am ready.

Imelda was you fifth wife by your own admission. Why didn't you mention you are a disfellowshipped and shunned Jehovah's Witness member? You accused Imelda for betraying you, but you walked out on your own children and 4 previous marriages. It was the right thing to do to warn those poor third world Filipinos your perverted past
Harikrish
Posts: 11,005
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10/10/2016 9:43:18 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM, MadCornishBiker wrote:
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!

What is truly funny Harikrish, or maybe I should call you Shila Bridges, your latest incarnation on Facebook to cause me trouble, is that you thought you could come between me and my Dars, lol.

Let's face it. In one post under your own name on FB you said I have had 5 wives, and in a message to my Dars you claimed I had had 6, lol, you can't even get your lies and half truths straight, lol.

You are the one diagnosed with the undersized and underdeveloped brain. You even thought you fooled the psychiatrists into believing you were normal. The psychiatrist didn't think you were worth treating and let you live with your diminished mental condition. Lol!

http://www.theforumsite.com...

In your own words:"
Don't worry I rarely take things that way unless it is obvious that is how they are meant.

I always appreciate honesty, whatever the reason behind it, and whether or not I feel it is fair. I would rather people tell me how they really feel that try to flatter me.

I have made no secret on here of the fact of my state, and that is because I have nothing to hide.

I have given various reasons for it, all of which are basically true, but which have changed slightly as I have got a "handle" on it more.

It's very true that there have been times when I have not lived as I should, or even as I wanted to, and that in itself made matters worse because I hated myself intensely for what I was doing.

I have, as I have mentioned before, certain Mental Health issues, which have, as it turns out, been lifelong and undiagnosed despite a visit to a Psychiatrist, at my adoptive Father's behest, when I was 15. That is a long story of itself, but suffice it to say for now, that I was definitely "off my head" and so angry that, knowing what my adoptive father was doing, I was mad enough to convince the Psychiatrist there was nothing wrong with me.

It was almost a further 35 years before it was finally discovered that I had been working under this problem for all my life.

The biggest aspect of it, as far as my life ahs been concerned, is a powerful self destruct mechanism which, at times of deep depression drives me to do anything that will harm myself, usually psychologically but occasionally physically and has led to 4 suicide attempts, all of which, I am pleased to say, failed despite the amount of medication I tool. It even manifested itself, for awhile, in the fact that, to punish myself I shaved my head and kept it that what for about 10 years.

The ironic thing is that though there were many events I should have been disfellowshipped for, I was, in the end, disfellowshipped for something which I am absolutely convinced not only didn't happen, but couldn't have happened. Since it was done completely according to scriptural guidelines, I accept it and did not appeal the decision, though I could have. Though I had n understanding of why Jehovah would have allowed it to happen that way, I accept the fact that He did, and that He must have ahd his reasons, which would inevitably have been as much for my good as the Congregations.

In more recent years I have realised that there has been much more to my "illness" than I had realised, and had I been allowed to stay in the Congregation I would probably only have ended up causing problems and disruption, despite never meaning to.

I have always believed that Jehovah knows the truth of it all, and my lack of intent in any of it as well as how I have felt about myself because of it all, and that knowledge has kept me from being embittered about it. I just accepted it and have one along with it, in the complete confidence that one day, some how, it would get sorted.

Having finally got a "line" on at least most of it, I am making the first move to get re-instated by writing to the Elders in the Congregation. I see it as a long and difficult road back, but one I know will be worthwhile to endure.

To me it has simply underlined my conviction all along that the disfellowshipping arrangement is intended to benefit all concerned if we accept it as it is meant to be treated. I have learned a lot about myself because of it, and hopefully the Elders will also.

Mental Health issues are a big problem for the Congregations and are the most difficult to understand. I know that since I have had many years of dealing with people with mental health issues myself either as friends and acquaintances or professionally, as a carer. All of which has, slowly, helped me to help myself.

I'll never be cured. It is not that kind of problem. It is caused by problems at, and immediately after birth which prevented my brains from developing in certain ways, and therefore have caused permanent brain "damage".

I won't go not the anguish it has caused me at moment in ym life when I simply had no idea why I was reacting the way I did, but it certainly led me to decide, in my youth, that I simply wasn't "wired up right" As it turns out that is a very good analogy. Certain brain connection have not, and never will be, made."

Anyway, you failed, both she, and her sister, know me far too well to fall for your lies and trollish behaviour

I suggest that you seek professional help, lol

Just thought I'd let you know, lol, you have failed, dismally.

I will be back on here when I am ready.
Harikrish
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10/17/2016 12:43:36 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM, MadCornishBiker wrote:
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!


I will be back on here when I am ready.

Take you time, you have a lot on your plate. We know you just got dumped by Imelda and your temporary replacement dumped you too. You are back to status divorced and continue to live alone with a dog.
You are now posting Daily Text from the JW online library. When are you going to accept you are no longer a Jehovah's Witness? You have been disfellowshipped and shunned for over 10 years with little or no chance of being reinstated.
Several people have exposed you on your Facebook account. And now you are threatening those who befriended you for questioning your several divorces and for abandoning your children which you had kept a secret until you were exposed.
It all goes back to your psychiatric diagnosis which confirmed you suffer from mental retardation because of an underdeveloped and undersized brain. The empty space created in your head allowed Satan to occupy it.so you are both Satan possessed and mentally retarded.

Here is you confession about your mental illness. You also mention your several suicide attempts.

Oct 23, 2012 @ 11:11:41
Post # 41
Don't worry I rarely take things that way unless it is obvious that is how they are meant.

I always appreciate honesty, whatever the reason behind it, and whether or not I feel it is fair. I would rather people tell me how they really feel that try to flatter me.

I have made no secret on here of the fact of my state, and that is because I have nothing to hide.

I have given various reasons for it, all of which are basically true, but which have changed slightly as I have got a "handle" on it more.

It's very true that there have been times when I have not lived as I should, or even as I wanted to, and that in itself made matters worse because I hated myself intensely for what I was doing.

I have, as I have mentioned before, certain Mental Health issues, which have, as it turns out, been lifelong and undiagnosed despite a visit to a Psychiatrist, at my adoptive Father's behest, when I was 15. That is a long story of itself, but suffice it to say for now, that I was definitely "off my head" and so angry that, knowing what my adoptive father was doing, I was mad enough to convince the Psychiatrist there was nothing wrong with me.

It was almost a further 35 years before it was finally discovered that I had been working under this problem for all my life.

The biggest aspect of it, as far as my life ahs been concerned, is a powerful self destruct mechanism which, at times of deep depression drives me to do anything that will harm myself, usually psychologically but occasionally physically and has led to 4 suicide attempts, all of which, I am pleased to say, failed despite the amount of medication I tool. It even manifested itself, for awhile, in the fact that, to punish myself I shaved my head and kept it that what for about 10 years.

The ironic thing is that though there were many events I should have been disfellowshipped for, I was, in the end, disfellowshipped for something which I am absolutely convinced not only didn't happen, but couldn't have happened. Since it was done completely according to scriptural guidelines, I accept it and did not appeal the decision, though I could have. Though I had n understanding of why Jehovah would have allowed it to happen that way, I ajccept the fact that He did, and that He must have ahd his reasons, which would inevitably have been as much for my good as the Congregations.

In more recent years I have realised that there has been much more to my "illness" than I had realised, and had I been allowed to stay in the Congregation I would probably only have ended up causing problems and disruption, despite never meaning to.

I have always believed that Jehovah knows the truth of it all, and my lack of intent in any of it as well as how I have felt about myself because of it all, and that knowledge has kept me from being embittered about it. I just accepted it and have one along with it, in the complete confidence that one day, some how, it would get sorted.

Having finally got a "line" on at least most of it, I am making the first move to get re-instated by writing to the Elders in the Congregation. I see it as a long and difficult road back, but one I know will be worthwhile to endure.

To me it has simply underlined my conviction all along that the disfellowshipping arrangement is intended to benefit all concerned if we accept it as it is meant to be treated. I have learned a lot about myself because of it, and hopefully the Elders will also.

Mental Health issues are a big problem for the Congregations and are the most difficult to understand. I know that since I have had many years of dealing with people with mental health issues myself either as friends and acquaintances or professionally, as a carer. All of which has, slowly, helped me to help myself.

I'll never be cured. It is not that kind of problem. It is caused by problems at, and immediately after birth which prevented my brains from developing in certain ways, and therefore have caused permanent brain "damage". Unfortunately, since my Mental Health issues are actually physical problems with a brain that never had the chance to develop properly.
I have, as I have mentioned before, certain Mental Health issues, which have, as it turns out, been lifelong and undiagnosed despite a visit to a Psychiatrist, at my adoptive Father's behest, when I was 15. It was almost a further 35 years before it was finally discovered that I had been working under this problem for all my life.

I won't go not the anguish it has caused me at moment in ym life when I simply had no idea why I was reacting the way I did, but it certainly led me to decide, in my youth, that I simply wasn't "wired up right" As it turns out that is a very good analogy. Certain brain connection have not, and never will be, made. Unfortunately, since my Mental Health issues are actually physical problems with a brain that never had the chance to develop properly.
http://www.theforumsite.com...
Harikrish
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10/17/2016 1:51:57 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM, MadCornishBiker wrote:
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!

What is truly funny Harikrish, or maybe I should call you Shila Bridges, your latest incarnation on Facebook to cause me trouble, is that you thought you could come between me and my Dars, lol.

Let's face it. In one post under your own name on FB you said I have had 5 wives, and in a message to my Dars you claimed I had had 6, lol, you can't even get your lies and half truths straight, lol.

Anyway, you failed, both she, and her sister, know me far too well to fall for your lies and trollish behaviour

I suggest that you seek professional help, lol

Just thought I'd let you know, lol, you have failed, dismally.

I will be back on here when I am ready.

The bible in funny in that people with serious mental disorders like MCB admit on one hand they are mentally ill and then quote scriptures to prove their sanity. Cutting and pasting scriptures from the Jehovah's Online library is further proof of ones insanity.

Why are you attacking Harikrish when all he is doing is exposing your age which is close to 70 years old, your several divorces 5 by your own admission and your mental retardation which again is by your own admission. Why is he the problem when you are the one with the problems, divorces, your children ignore you, rejection by your church and mental issues? You put your age as 67 three years ago on a few forums and never provided a date of birth. That would add up to 70,nevertheless 67 isnt exactly young, not if you are already physically disabled. Accept you are drowning in denial and self pity. Preaching isn't going to atone for your wicked life.
Harikrish
Posts: 11,005
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10/20/2016 2:50:07 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 10/9/2016 1:49:20 PM, MadCornishBiker wrote:
At 10/6/2016 6:45:43 PM, Harikrish wrote:
At 9/30/2016 9:40:37 AM, Willows wrote:
It seems that the bible is all too serious, telling the reader about morals, evil, righteousness, and sexual correctness, however, there never seems to be anything written that is humorous.

Some may argue that the entire bible is one big joke but are there any really funny passages in it?

There are many funny humorous things in the bible. It is the humour and silliness that has kept us entertained for thousands of years and even contributed to some blockbuster Monty Pyton movies.
1. The talking serpent finally got Adam and Eve to put on some clothes. Lol!
2. Moses led the Jews to the promised land but had the gates shut in his fact for striking the rocks when he was asked to be polite and speak to it. Lol!
3. Noah built a model boat in the middle of land. God flooded the earth so he could test it. Lol!
4. God got Abraham to get his people to perform circumcision to set them apart from the Gentiles. Hitler saved the Gentiles by separating them from circumcised Jews.
5. Jesus asked his disciples to eat his flesh and drink his blood because his body was the real temple. The Romans heard that and got rid of the false temple. Lol!
6. Jesus saved a prostitute by saying: " he who as it sinned be the first to cast the stone. "
No one did when they saw Jesus too was not without sin who made no attempt to reach out for a stone. Lol!
7. Peter lied about Jesus 3 times and Judas went to Jesus and kissed him. They crucified Jesus because they though he was gay , but gave 30 pieces of silver to Judas as compensation for killing his lover. Lol!
8. Jesus said he would be put to death as prophesied. But on the cross he blamed God for betraying and forsaking him. Buyers remorse. Lol!

What is truly funny Harikrish, or maybe I should call you Shila Bridges, your latest incarnation on Facebook to cause me trouble, is that you thought you could come between me and my Dars, lol.

There isn't anything between you and Dars, she confirmed that on Facebook.Another public dumping and this time by Asians. Women are dumping you at home and abroad. What a loser!!! Go get an inflatable doll. Lol!!!

Let's face it. In one post under your own name on FB you said I have had 5 wives, and in a message to my Dars you claimed I had had 6, lol, you can't even get your lies and half truths straight, lol.

Anyway, you failed, both she, and her sister, know me far too well to fall for your lies and trollish behaviour

I suggest that you seek professional help, lol

Just thought I'd let you know, lol, you have failed, dismally.

I will be back on here when I am ready.