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parable Short Story challenge!

Marauder
Posts: 3,271
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2/3/2011 12:31:40 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Have any of you ever herd of this short story I put in underline below? once a flood came to a mans house, his neighbor said 'come on in my boat'. But the man said 'no i cant, Jesus is my savior!'
so his neighbor rowed on to safety without him. the water rose higher to cover his waist and the game wardens came in there bigger boat and said 'come on in well get you out of here!'
But the man said 'no I cant, Jesus will save me'
So they left him be and drove there boat on.
the water got so high later that it was up to the mans neck. A helicopter came and they called out to him 'grab onto the rope ladder we will pull you out of here!' but again the man rejected help. finally the man drowned and once in heaven he asked Jesus why didn't he save him and Jesus said 'I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter what more did want?'


This short story is often to used to promote sayings like 'god works in mysterious ways' or 'god helps those who help themselves'.
Well I need one like that story but more for a saying like 'action without prayer is arrogance' and with a mistaken character in it like the drowning man who say's 'god helps those who help themselves' through out it.

I have failed to find any trying to use google, so I issue a challenge here to all interested to write a short story styled like the drowning man one except with its lesson tailored to the specifics I mentioned above; a mistaken character saying 'god helps those who help themselves' and a basic lesson out of it that action without prayer is arrogance.

The reward to whoever presents the best written short story with this theme is that there short story will be incorporated into one of a young lay speakers next sermons that you will probably never here.
One act of Rebellion created all the darkness and evil in the world; One life of Total Obedience created a path back to eternity and God.

A Scout is Obedient.
Floid
Posts: 751
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2/3/2011 12:49:40 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
'god helps those who help themselves'

That is an idea cooked up by modern Christians to justify using common sense and modern knowledge to solve their problems instead of doing what was actually advocated in the Bible.

No where in the teachings of Jesus is anything closely related to "God helps those who help themselves" found. Jesus stated exactly the opposite.

He taught to give away all your possessions and follow him, he taught to help others instead of yourself, that you shouldn't save things because you never know when you might die, to be humble in all things, and that a person with the faith of a mustard seed could move a mountain. All these are the exact opposite of God helps those that help themselves.

While some of the teachings of Jesus constitute a brilliant moral philosophy, some aren't that practical either.
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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2/3/2011 12:55:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Seems to be a difficult, indeed impossible challenge. I can only imagine that it is a very strange fringe church that would understand such a parable at all. Action without prayer is arrogance... bizarre.

Still if something comes to me I'll give it a bash.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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2/3/2011 12:56:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
2 men were sitting in the back of a small airplane, ready to go sky diving. One of the men looked over at the other, and noticed that he was praying.

"What are you doing? Are you scared?" the man who wasn't praying asked.

"No, I am asking for god's guidance and protection." The man praying replied.

"So do you want me to go first?" The unpraying heathen replied.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there".

About a minute later, the side hatch of the plane open up, and the man who was praying got up. "I think it is time for me to jump.", he said shortly before leaping out of the plane.

Before the other man could jump out of the plane, a rocket screamed from the ground below, and hit the small airplane, killing both the pilot and the sky diver who didn't pray.

When the good moral Christian landed on the ground, he found himself surrounded by men dressed in military garb, all aiming guns at him.

He was subjected to cruel and unusual torture that involved a broom handle and a can of crisco while repeatedly having water sprayed up his nose. He was so confused that he could barely make out what the people yelling at him during this were saying.

After what seemed like hours of this, the praying man was blindfolded, and dumped at the side of the road in the desert.

He was thankful to be alive, and praised Jesus.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Indophile
Posts: 1,414
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2/3/2011 1:19:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/3/2011 12:31:40 PM, Marauder wrote:
Have any of you ever herd of this short story I put in underline below? once a flood came to a mans house, his neighbor said 'come on in my boat'. But the man said 'no i cant, Jesus is my savior!'
so his neighbor rowed on to safety without him. the water rose higher to cover his waist and the game wardens came in there bigger boat and said 'come on in well get you out of here!'
But the man said 'no I cant, Jesus will save me'
So they left him be and drove there boat on.
the water got so high later that it was up to the mans neck. A helicopter came and they called out to him 'grab onto the rope ladder we will pull you out of here!' but again the man rejected help. finally the man drowned and once in heaven he asked Jesus why didn't he save him and Jesus said 'I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter what more did want?'


This short story is often to used to promote sayings like 'god works in mysterious ways' or 'god helps those who help themselves'.
Well I need one like that story but more for a saying like 'action without prayer is arrogance' and with a mistaken character in it like the drowning man who say's 'god helps those who help themselves' through out it.

I have failed to find any trying to use google, so I issue a challenge here to all interested to write a short story styled like the drowning man one except with its lesson tailored to the specifics I mentioned above; a mistaken character saying 'god helps those who help themselves' and a basic lesson out of it that action without prayer is arrogance.

The reward to whoever presents the best written short story with this theme is that there short story will be incorporated into one of a young lay speakers next sermons that you will probably never here.

A rich, mean and spiteful young man lay dying of an unknown disease. His equally cruel family searched far and wide for doctors of good repute to cure him. Knowing the family well, none of the doctors were willing to take the risk of curing him, for if anything went wrong, it was quite probable they would find themselves in a place they wouldn't wish on their enemies.

However, there lived a middle-aged doctor who was quite confident in his craft, and wagered that, if not cure him, at least he could prolong his life a bit. His good wife told him to take the blessings of their local pastor before he performed the cure. But the good doctor was not having any of that. "God helps those who help themselves" he professed. (Moreover, he didn't want to get into the rush hour traffic on the interstate, just to go to the church.) He went the opposite way to the dying man's house and, miracle or miracles, cured him!

Only, the patient now had become a vegetable, poor sod!

Seeing the situation, a crafty quack, laid a proposition to the seething with rage family. He will perform an holy ablution which will miraculously cure their now incontinent dear, but they should put their trust in their Lord! The decadent family disconsolately agreed. The contract was drawn up and signed by the local magistrate, in presence of two unbiased witnesses, attributing the cure to the Lord. (along with the blame if anything went wrong, of course.)

The quack then muttered a blessing over the pitcher of water, and plugged in the water hose up through the vegetable's nose, and lo and behold, the vegetable returned to his previous dying state. Seeing this, the whole obnoxious family rejoiced, and praised the quack to the heavens. The quack quickly pointed out that all glory was to the Lord, and he was merely the instrument.

Of course, the newspapers pulled out front page spreads, and the quack gained a reputation for miracle cures, and lived his life quite pleasantly to the end. The well-presuming middle-aged doctor's fate was never known, nor was he!
You will say that I don't really know you
And it will be true.
Veridas
Posts: 733
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2/3/2011 6:06:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/3/2011 12:31:40 PM, Marauder wrote:
Have any of you ever herd of this short story I put in underline below? once a flood came to a mans house, his neighbor said 'come on in my boat'. But the man said 'no i cant, Jesus is my savior!'
so his neighbor rowed on to safety without him. the water rose higher to cover his waist and the game wardens came in there bigger boat and said 'come on in well get you out of here!'
But the man said 'no I cant, Jesus will save me'
So they left him be and drove there boat on.
the water got so high later that it was up to the mans neck. A helicopter came and they called out to him 'grab onto the rope ladder we will pull you out of here!' but again the man rejected help. finally the man drowned and once in heaven he asked Jesus why didn't he save him and Jesus said 'I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter what more did want?'


This short story is often to used to promote sayings like 'god works in mysterious ways' or 'god helps those who help themselves'.
Well I need one like that story but more for a saying like 'action without prayer is arrogance' and with a mistaken character in it like the drowning man who say's 'god helps those who help themselves' through out it.

I have failed to find any trying to use google, so I issue a challenge here to all interested to write a short story styled like the drowning man one except with its lesson tailored to the specifics I mentioned above; a mistaken character saying 'god helps those who help themselves' and a basic lesson out of it that action without prayer is arrogance.

The reward to whoever presents the best written short story with this theme is that there short story will be incorporated into one of a young lay speakers next sermons that you will probably never here.

Action...without prayer...is arrogance.

Action-prayer=arrogance

Prayer before action=not arrogance.

You know what? I'm not even going to try and explain why that is 100% of your required daily amount of horsesh!t, either from a philosophical, practical, technological, statistical or logical way. F*ck you and your beliefs.
What fresh dickery is the internet up to today?
tigg13
Posts: 302
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2/3/2011 8:03:08 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A minister was outside of his church greeting his flock when one of his members approached him looking distressed.

"What's wrong Bob?", asked the minister.

"It's my daughter, we just found out that she's pregnant and she wants to have an abortion. I was hoping that you could pray to Jesus for guidance with me.", said Bob.

"Oh", said the minister, "That isn't a very difficult problem. The Good Book says 'Thou shalt not kill!' so, obviously having an abortion would be a sin. So tell her she either has to have the baby or you'll have to ask her to leave. Else, you would be inviting her sin into your home."

"Ok", said Bob, "That's what I'll do."

The next week Bob approached the minister again and said, "Can you help me again Father?"

What seems to be the trouble, Bob?"

"Well, I just found out that my eldest son is gay and I wanted to pray to Jesus for guidance because I don't know what to do."

Oh, that's simple", said the minister, "The Good Book says that homosexuality is an abomination and should never be tolerated. But you're in luck. I happen to know some people who run an institution that can cure your son of his illness for a very reasonable fee."

"Ok", said Bob, "I'll call them first thing tomorrow."

Another week passed and once more Bob had problem.

"What's he matter Bob?", asked the minister.

"It's my youngest son. He's giving me all sorts of trouble."

"Why, what's he doing?"

"Well, he's always talking back to me, saying rude and disrespectful things and refusing to do as he's told. Do you think we could pray to Jesus for some guidance?"

"No need for that", said the minster, "The Good Book says 'Honor thy father!' and 'Spare the rod and spoil the child!'. You need to teach him that there are consequences for his disobedience."

"Ok", said Bob, "I will!"

An hour or so later the minister found Bob pounding on the door of the church crying for help.

"What is it?", asked the minister.

"It's my boy!", cried Bob, "I got a rod, just like you said, and I was beating him with it, but he ran outside so I hit him hard on the head and his skull cracked open and fell down and died!"

"Oh No!", gasped the minister.

"Then my neighbor screamed and ran inside to call the police, so ran over here. What do I do?"

Just then two police cars pulled up and four policemen jumped out and demanded that Bob surrender immediately. Bob pulled out a gun and screamed, "You'll never take me alive!" There was then a hail of bullets and the next thing the minister knew, he and Bob were standing before the Throne of God.

Without saying a word, God held out his hand, hesitated for a moment, and then pointed his thumb down. There was a loud, metal creaking sound as the floor beneath Bob and the minister began to slowly tilt downward. Below them they could hear the sounds or agonizing screams and they smelled burning flesh and brimstone.

The minister looked around and saw Jesus sitting next God. Quickly, he scurried over to Jesus and began sobbing to him.

"Please! Please, my Lord! I have been your humble servant for years. I have preached your word and sang to your glory. Why is this happening t me? What have I one? Is there anything I can do?"

Jesus calmly reached under his seat, pulled out the Good Book and threw it to the minister.

"Here!", Jesus said, "You're a smart guy, you figure it out."
Marauder
Posts: 3,271
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2/5/2011 12:45:58 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/3/2011 12:49:40 PM, Floid wrote:
'god helps those who help themselves'

That is an idea cooked up by modern Christians to justify using common sense and modern knowledge to solve their problems instead of doing what was actually advocated in the Bible.

No where in the teachings of Jesus is anything closely related to "God helps those who help themselves" found. Jesus stated exactly the opposite.

He taught to give away all your possessions and follow him, he taught to help others instead of yourself, that you shouldn't save things because you never know when you might die, to be humble in all things, and that a person with the faith of a mustard seed could move a mountain. All these are the exact opposite of God helps those that help themselves.

While some of the teachings of Jesus constitute a brilliant moral philosophy, some aren't that practical either.

I know that 'God helps those who helps themselves' is not in the bible http://www.blueletterbible.org... Its one of those sayings that educated people would joke is 'in the book of Hezikiah' if you ask what verse in the bible it is to them. But I've heard Christians in my own church use the story of the drowning man as if it teaches some biblical point. you can even look it up online and find it used to teach the saying 'God helps those who help themselves' http://ambitiousprachi.sulekha.com... Theologically though like you said that's not what the bible teaches, the bible teaches we can do nothing without Christ, and through Christ we can do all things.
That's why I wanted a short story designed to teach that, I thought it would make for a cool sermon styled to look like a debate between one man who tells the drowning man short story that Christians in my area like telling in Sunday school for some reason, and a man telling an opposite story for contrast, hopefully one that's still a little extreme enough that its wrong in some small way so that the drowning man story they are already attached to still serves a good teaching purpose.
one arguer could be guilty of being a control-freak, (acting on his own and without god) and the other might be guilty of being a complain-freak, (praying to god for everything but never he himself acting). People have invented religiously sounding sayings for all sorts of non-ideal christian behavior and in this matter I see it has potential to come to an interesting contrast.

The ideal christian would be like Nehemiah in his balance of prayer and planning and carrying out his actions. for more on that story for those who I am referring... http://www.biblegateway.com...

Anyway, I appreciate the participation of those who submitted a story, even if they don't share the belief in god themselves. Thank you.
One act of Rebellion created all the darkness and evil in the world; One life of Total Obedience created a path back to eternity and God.

A Scout is Obedient.
tigg13
Posts: 302
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2/5/2011 1:39:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/5/2011 12:45:58 PM, Marauder wrote:
At 2/3/2011 12:49:40 PM, Floid wrote:
'god helps those who help themselves'

That is an idea cooked up by modern Christians to justify using common sense and modern knowledge to solve their problems instead of doing what was actually advocated in the Bible.

No where in the teachings of Jesus is anything closely related to "God helps those who help themselves" found. Jesus stated exactly the opposite.

He taught to give away all your possessions and follow him, he taught to help others instead of yourself, that you shouldn't save things because you never know when you might die, to be humble in all things, and that a person with the faith of a mustard seed could move a mountain. All these are the exact opposite of God helps those that help themselves.

While some of the teachings of Jesus constitute a brilliant moral philosophy, some aren't that practical either.

I know that 'God helps those who helps themselves' is not in the bible http://www.blueletterbible.org... Its one of those sayings that educated people would joke is 'in the book of Hezikiah' if you ask what verse in the bible it is to them. But I've heard Christians in my own church use the story of the drowning man as if it teaches some biblical point. you can even look it up online and find it used to teach the saying 'God helps those who help themselves' http://ambitiousprachi.sulekha.com... Theologically though like you said that's not what the bible teaches, the bible teaches we can do nothing without Christ, and through Christ we can do all things.
That's why I wanted a short story designed to teach that, I thought it would make for a cool sermon styled to look like a debate between one man who tells the drowning man short story that Christians in my area like telling in Sunday school for some reason, and a man telling an opposite story for contrast, hopefully one that's still a little extreme enough that its wrong in some small way so that the drowning man story they are already attached to still serves a good teaching purpose.
one arguer could be guilty of being a control-freak, (acting on his own and without god) and the other might be guilty of being a complain-freak, (praying to god for everything but never he himself acting). People have invented religiously sounding sayings for all sorts of non-ideal christian behavior and in this matter I see it has potential to come to an interesting contrast.

The ideal christian would be like Nehemiah in his balance of prayer and planning and carrying out his actions. for more on that story for those who I am referring... http://www.biblegateway.com...

Anyway, I appreciate the participation of those who submitted a story, even if they don't share the belief in god themselves. Thank you.

Just so you know - If you pick mine, I'm gonna want royalties:)
Marauder
Posts: 3,271
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2/6/2011 1:48:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/5/2011 1:39:20 PM, tigg13 wrote:
At 2/5/2011 12:45:58 PM, Marauder wrote:

Just so you know - If you pick mine, I'm gonna want royalties:)

yours doesn't even address the requested topic. It has nothing to do with prayer or trying to do things on your own without god. In fact it fails to say much of anything at all.

plus if you wanted to ensure you got royalties you should have put a TM* at the end of your story and also not posted it on the internet where all can view it for free. ;)
One act of Rebellion created all the darkness and evil in the world; One life of Total Obedience created a path back to eternity and God.

A Scout is Obedient.