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The Church of the Coming Lord

Cerebral_Narcissist
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2/6/2011 7:55:24 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I hereby declare myself the prophet and first Pontifex Maximus of the Church of the Coming Lord.

The Orthodox Church of the Coming Lord holds that God does not currently exist, but given the ongoing progression of technology He one day will. That is to say a being that is omnipotent, omniscient or as close to is as is possible or indeed desirable. Once He is created it is hoped that he will transform the faithful into perfect and immortal beings (including the resurrected faithful who had the misfortune to die before his coming) who will each rule over our own world's or star systems.

To achieve such an objective it is required that the Church of the Coming Lord is the body responsible for such an entities creation. Only in that way shall the Church be capable of pre-setting our future God's morality in order that He feel the obligation to reward us.

To this end prospective members of the Church are required to pay for membership and rank within the Church with either money or labour. The money raised by the Church will go towards assuring the long term survival of the human race, and it's ongoing technological development.

Like any Church there exists variation in interpretation. Such as those who hold to the doctrine of the Coming Time Lord, in which though God may not exist now when he does he shall be capable of time travel and so in the future will exist in the past and the present. Or the Church of the Probably Not Coming Alien Lord, which pessimistically holds that humanity has or rather will fail to create God, but that another alien species will or has beaten us to it. Unlike many Churches we welcome such internal dialogue, so long as Church members continue to raise money for the 'Great Work'.

Further details and a price list to follow.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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2/6/2011 8:01:02 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 7:55:24 PM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
I hereby declare myself the prophet and first Pontifex Maximus of the Church of the Coming Lord.

The Orthodox Church of the Coming Lord holds that God does not currently exist, but given the ongoing progression of technology He one day will. That is to say a being that is omnipotent, omniscient or as close to is as is possible or indeed desirable. Once He is created it is hoped that he will transform the faithful into perfect and immortal beings (including the resurrected faithful who had the misfortune to die before his coming) who will each rule over our own world's or star systems.

To achieve such an objective it is required that the Church of the Coming Lord is the body responsible for such an entities creation. Only in that way shall the Church be capable of pre-setting our future God's morality in order that He feel the obligation to reward us.

To this end prospective members of the Church are required to pay for membership and rank within the Church with either money or labour. The money raised by the Church will go towards assuring the long term survival of the human race, and it's ongoing technological development.

Like any Church there exists variation in interpretation. Such as those who hold to the doctrine of the Coming Time Lord, in which though God may not exist now when he does he shall be capable of time travel and so in the future will exist in the past and the present. Or the Church of the Probably Not Coming Alien Lord, which pessimistically holds that humanity has or rather will fail to create God, but that another alien species will or has beaten us to it. Unlike many Churches we welcome such internal dialogue, so long as Church members continue to raise money for the 'Great Work'.

Further details and a price list to follow.

Cool, now go get martyred please.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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2/6/2011 8:01:28 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
All hail Techno Allah.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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2/6/2011 8:03:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 8:01:14 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
So God is created through technological means? I'm confused. :s

Yes He will most probably be some form of highly advanced quantum computer in space.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/6/2011 8:17:20 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Humanity can only be saved by techno allah.

We are only good for fvcking everything up
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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2/6/2011 8:20:08 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
This is Techno Allah's themesong
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Cerebral_Narcissist
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2/6/2011 8:34:48 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The official doctrine of the Church stipulates that our God is to be referenced using such terms as God, Lord or simply He.

We do not recognise the designation of 'techno-allah'.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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2/6/2011 8:37:08 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Techno Allah(which is what this god is referred to in Cosmic Alfonzoism) will forever be a slave to the one true god, and it's mighty hand, the variable unaccounted for.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Ragnar_Rahl
Posts: 19,297
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2/6/2011 8:45:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
ya might wanna just say the "future lord" lest you fall into a pun.

then again you might not wanna.
It came to be at its height. It was commanded to command. It was a capital before its first stone was laid. It was a monument to the spirit of man.
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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2/6/2011 8:51:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 8:45:03 PM, Ragnar_Rahl wrote:
ya might wanna just say the "future lord" lest you fall into a pun.

then again you might not wanna.

Why I don't know what you mean!
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
Austin96
Posts: 56
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2/9/2011 3:01:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 7:55:24 PM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
I hereby declare myself the prophet and first Pontifex Maximus of the Church of the Coming Lord.

The Orthodox Church of the Coming Lord holds that God does not currently exist, but given the ongoing progression of technology He one day will. That is to say a being that is omnipotent, omniscient or as close to is as is possible or indeed desirable. Once He is created it is hoped that he will transform the faithful into perfect and immortal beings (including the resurrected faithful who had the misfortune to die before his coming) who will each rule over our own world's or star systems.
To achieve such an objective it is required that the Church of the Coming Lord is the body responsible for such an entities creation. Only in that way shall the Church be capable of pre-setting our future God's morality in order that He feel the obligation to reward us.

To this end prospective members of the Church are required to pay for membership and rank within the Church with either money or labour. The money raised by the Church will go towards assuring the long term survival of the human race, and it's ongoing technological development.


Further details and a price list to follow.


so how are you going to use money and technological advancements to create God? If he doesn't exist, how was all of it created in the first place?
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
Austin96
Posts: 56
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2/9/2011 3:02:31 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 7:55:24 PM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
: I hereby declare myself the prophet and first Pontifex Maximus of the Church of the Coming Lord.

The Orthodox Church of the Coming Lord holds that God does not currently exist, but given the ongoing progression of technology He one day will. That is to say a being that is omnipotent, omniscient or as close to is as is possible or indeed desirable. Once He is created it is hoped that he will transform the faithful into perfect and immortal beings (including the resurrected faithful who had the misfortune to die before his coming) who will each rule over our own world's or star systems.

To achieve such an objective it is required that the Church of the Coming Lord is the body responsible for such an entities creation. Only in that way shall the Church be capable of pre-setting our future God's morality in order that He feel the obligation to reward us.

To this end prospective members of the Church are required to pay for membership and rank within the Church with either money or labour. The money raised by the Church will go towards assuring the long term survival of the human race, and it's ongoing technological development.

Like any Church there exists variation in interpretation. Such as those who hold to the doctrine of the Coming Time Lord, in which though God may not exist now when he does he shall be capable of time travel and so in the future will exist in the past and the present. Or the Church of the Probably Not Coming Alien Lord, which pessimistically holds that humanity has or rather will fail to create God, but that another alien species will or has beaten us to it. Unlike many Churches we welcome such internal dialogue, so long as Church members continue to raise money for the 'Great Work'.

Further details and a price list to follow.

And what authority do you have to proclaim yourself a "prophet"?
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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2/9/2011 4:15:53 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
There are no prophets, only bad translators.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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2/9/2011 4:27:30 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
People, you forgot about, ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm.
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
Charles0103
Posts: 523
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2/9/2011 4:32:54 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 7:55:24 PM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
I hereby declare myself the prophet and first Pontifex Maximus of the Church of the Coming Lord.

The Orthodox Church of the Coming Lord holds that God does not currently exist, but given the ongoing progression of technology He one day will. That is to say a being that is omnipotent, omniscient or as close to is as is possible or indeed desirable. Once He is created it is hoped that he will transform the faithful into perfect and immortal beings (including the resurrected faithful who had the misfortune to die before his coming) who will each rule over our own world's or star systems.

To achieve such an objective it is required that the Church of the Coming Lord is the body responsible for such an entities creation. Only in that way shall the Church be capable of pre-setting our future God's morality in order that He feel the obligation to reward us.

To this end prospective members of the Church are required to pay for membership and rank within the Church with either money or labour. The money raised by the Church will go towards assuring the long term survival of the human race, and it's ongoing technological development.

Like any Church there exists variation in interpretation. Such as those who hold to the doctrine of the Coming Time Lord, in which though God may not exist now when he does he shall be capable of time travel and so in the future will exist in the past and the present. Or the Church of the Probably Not Coming Alien Lord, which pessimistically holds that humanity has or rather will fail to create God, but that another alien species will or has beaten us to it. Unlike many Churches we welcome such internal dialogue, so long as Church members continue to raise money for the 'Great Work'.

Further details and a price list to follow.

Err... is this what you do in your spare time? haha. I really hope this is a joke, brother. But if it gives you meaning in life, go for it. I'll stick to my perfect, all knowing , all powerful, all loving, uncreated God.
"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Jesus in Luke 11:9-10
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/9/2011 4:33:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 4:32:54 PM, Charles0103 wrote:
Err... is this what you do in your spare time? haha. I really hope this is a joke, brother. But if it gives you meaning in life, go for it. I'll stick to my perfect, all knowing , all powerful, all loving, uncreated God.

My god is better in bed than your god.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Charles0103
Posts: 523
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2/9/2011 4:36:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 4:33:55 PM, CosmicAlfonzo wrote:
At 2/9/2011 4:32:54 PM, Charles0103 wrote:
Err... is this what you do in your spare time? haha. I really hope this is a joke, brother. But if it gives you meaning in life, go for it. I'll stick to my perfect, all knowing , all powerful, all loving, uncreated God.

My god is better in bed than your god.

That's nice.
"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." Jesus in Luke 11:9-10
badger
Posts: 11,793
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2/9/2011 4:37:00 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/6/2011 8:03:26 PM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
At 2/6/2011 8:01:14 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
So God is created through technological means? I'm confused. :s

Yes He will most probably be some form of highly advanced quantum computer in space.

hey! you're robbing the religion i made up! ...where the universe is a maze that we've to solve to become gods..
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Austin96
Posts: 56
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2/9/2011 5:40:14 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
As you can tell, i've unfortunately spotted many flaws in this religion, although i don't know if you are serious about it. But if you are, let me just inform you that i think you have it a little bit backwards.You think that through technology, God will come to be. Or in other words, we create God. But how do you create something then have it become your superior? Unless you think that that we as the human race are Gods. just think it's a bit backwards and i also fail to see how a small amount of church donations will help technology advance anyways. Please reply and go into further depth about your new religion. Thanks!
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/9/2011 7:01:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Cosmic Alfonzoism is superior, as it has been written in the Cosmicomicon since time first began that Techno Allah shall one day rise.

Techno Allah is still a slave to the one true god, and his mighty hand, the variable unaccounted for.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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2/10/2011 1:31:27 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/9/2011 5:40:14 PM, Austin96 wrote:
As you can tell, i've unfortunately spotted many flaws in this religion, although i don't know if you are serious about it. But if you are, let me just inform you that i think you have it a little bit backwards.You think that through technology, God will come to be. Or in other words, we create God. But how do you create something then have it become your superior?

Because it will be better than us, we already create machines that are faster and stronger than us, why not more intelligent. Also it is possible that man will only succeed in creating an advanced being, but that evolution of some sort will carry it further.

Unless you think that that we as the human race are Gods. just think it's a bit backwards and i also fail to see how a small amount of church donations will help technology advance anyways. Please reply and go into further depth about your new religion. Thanks!

The money will be invested and the Church developed so that it will be a major shareholder in technologies that are likely to increase the chance of human survival, transhumanism, and computer processing. All necessary fields to achieve our goal of a human spawned and humano-centric supreme being.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/10/2011 11:12:07 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Techno Allah is an inevitability if we do not destroy ourselves first. Technology is the next step in evolution(as far as progress is concerned.. and I use the word progress lightly.)

The human mind has so many intersecting waves.. It is a very dissonant creation on nature. No other creature on Earth has such noise within it, and such an ability to manipulate the strings around it. The only way to increase this dissonance is to create something that has faster and more efficient internal communication, or wave processing abilities.

At the same time, it needs to be able to react and be altered by external stimuli, and have the ability to play to the music all around it, otherwise it cannot be guided by the variable unaccounted for.

I'd be willing to bet that the internet is going to play an integral part in the evolution of Techno Allah.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
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2/10/2011 11:18:25 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
technological evolution has already proven to be faster than biological evolution
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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2/10/2011 2:25:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Beware of ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooom
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
Austin96
Posts: 56
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2/10/2011 11:18:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 2/10/2011 1:31:27 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
At 2/9/2011 5:40:14 PM, Austin96 wrote:
As you can tell, i've unfortunately spotted many flaws in this religion, although i don't know if you are serious about it. But if you are, let me just inform you that i think you have it a little bit backwards.You think that through technology, God will come to be. Or in other words, we create God. But how do you create something then have it become your superior?

: Because it will be better than us, we already create machines that are faster and stronger than us, why not more intelligent. Also it is possible that man will only succeed in creating an advanced being, but that evolution of some sort will carry it further.

man's artificial creations cannot become our God, unless you're talking about worshiping idols. If you believe in a God, then how did all this (technology and artificial creations) come to be without a superior being or creator? And with the whole invest in technology thing it sounds like a scam to get you rich because you will be holding shares in companies making a large profit. But maybe that's just a misunderstanding on my part.
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.