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Why would anyone marry?

sal
Posts: 319
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3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.


If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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3/25/2011 10:24:55 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

You sound like you have commitment issues. I'd reccomend killing yourself.
Thaddeus
Posts: 6,985
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3/25/2011 10:26:11 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:24:55 AM, Thaddeus wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

You sound like you have commitment issues. I'd reccomend killing yourself.

(An ammendment for those with sense of humour failures; this is to demonstrate OreEle's point)
sal
Posts: 319
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3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.


If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.

The question is what is the point of marriage. Why cant you stay with someone without getting married if you want to be committed. Regardless of your commitment you can get divorced, so getting married isn't exactly committing. It appears that those who get divorced cant commit themselves
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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3/25/2011 10:40:20 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.

insert gold diggers.

But for reasons, there are plenty. Tax reasons (that is the most tangible that can be readily measured), the desire to demonstrate your love to someone... plenty of reasons.



If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.

The question is what is the point of marriage. Why cant you stay with someone without getting married if you want to be committed. Regardless of your commitment you can get divorced, so getting married isn't exactly committing. It appears that those who get divorced cant commit themselves

No, getting divorced is committing, then giving up on that committment. Rather than a committment issue, it is more of a follow through issue.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
sal
Posts: 319
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3/25/2011 10:46:43 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:40:20 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.

insert gold diggers.

But for reasons, there are plenty. Tax reasons

Come on tax benefits are a result of the marriage not the purpose.
I'm not sure why married people should get benefits from the government at all.
They're in love good for them why should singles support it.

(that is the most tangible that can be readily measured), the desire to demonstrate your love to someone... plenty of reasons.

There are plenty of people I love(family) and there is no need to marry them.



If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.

The question is what is the point of marriage. Why cant you stay with someone without getting married if you want to be committed. Regardless of your commitment you can get divorced, so getting married isn't exactly committing. It appears that those who get divorced cant commit themselves

No, getting divorced is committing, then giving up on that committment. Rather than a committment issue, it is more of a follow through issue.

Why is that not dishonest?
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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3/25/2011 10:59:42 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:46:43 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:40:20 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.

insert gold diggers.

But for reasons, there are plenty. Tax reasons

Come on tax benefits are a result of the marriage not the purpose.
I'm not sure why married people should get benefits from the government at all.
They're in love good for them why should singles support it.

And some people get married for those tax reasons.


(that is the most tangible that can be readily measured), the desire to demonstrate your love to someone... plenty of reasons.

There are plenty of people I love(family) and there is no need to marry them.

We're not talking about needs, we're talking about reasons. You haven't refuted any of the reasons why people get married.




If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.

The question is what is the point of marriage. Why cant you stay with someone without getting married if you want to be committed. Regardless of your commitment you can get divorced, so getting married isn't exactly committing. It appears that those who get divorced cant commit themselves

No, getting divorced is committing, then giving up on that committment. Rather than a committment issue, it is more of a follow through issue.

Why is that not dishonest?

Because people change. What they think they can do a point X in their lives may not be possible at point Y in their lives.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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3/25/2011 11:26:07 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
It is a serious gesture of commitment from one to another. It may not be for you, so i wouldn't advise it. However, there are some who take comfort in the formal establishment of their relationship and even find a certain continuity in the family unit as a result of marriage. Marriage has become very subjective in what it means to different people. To a devout Catholic it's a holy sacrament never to be broken, and to someone more secular it can simply be a legal contract between to consenting adults. The meaning of marriage can really go the gambit from one individual to the next. There are legal benefits as was pointed out, but for most it's formalizing the emotional connection and love between two people.
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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3/25/2011 11:56:46 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

Advantages of a legally married state vary from couple to couple, the most common being:
- legal and emotional protections for the children
- emotional security
- guarantees of exclusivity
- property rights
- health advantages
- social and reputational advantages
- religious beliefs
- stability

There are more, depending on where you live.

If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

You are immature and unreliable? Perhaps you'll grow up someday.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
devinni01841
Posts: 1,405
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3/29/2011 11:12:59 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

: It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.


LOL

If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.
There is nothing more bad-@ss than being yourself.

I solemnly swear I am up to no good.

Member of the Texas Army National Guard since 20111212

An Armed society is a polite society.
rarugged
Posts: 172
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4/1/2011 1:27:20 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
The government likes married couples.

They are generally more stable, more productive, and contribute better to society, on the average. Therefore, it's understandable they will provide incentives for single men/women to marry.

These incentives also convince some couples "on the fence" to commit themselves, therefore receiving those benefits.

It's a perpetual cycle of mutuality.
If Jesus came back tomorrow, a cross would be the last thing he would want to see.
Extremely-Far-Right
Posts: 248
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4/1/2011 7:22:21 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.

Actually, not necessarily. One can plan to marry with the intent that his/her husband/wife will die soon and they will inherit the money, and/or it could be for a number of other reasons. It could simply be for a bet or something, sad as it may sound it could be true. You never know the intentions of why someone would marry. Now I would hope that they would plan on keeping it for life, since marriage is historically recognized as a notion and policy that you keep until you pass away.

But like I said...you never know..


If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

So you have a commitment problem. DDO is not the best place for therapeudic advice.

The question is what is the point of marriage. Why cant you stay with someone without getting married if you want to be committed.Regardless of your commitment you can get divorced, so getting married isn't exactly committing. It appears that those who get divorced cant commit themselves

You can actually stay with someone without the intention of getting married. For example, if a young high school drop out plans to live with his parents until he dies for the next 70 years, is he going to marry his mother and/or father or both?
sal
Posts: 319
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4/1/2011 9:42:53 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 7:22:21 AM, Extremely-Far-Right wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:34:39 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 10:21:52 AM, OreEle wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

It's not for life, divorce is legal in 50 out of the 50 states. I think that is most of them.

I understand that but no one goes into marriage planning on divorcing. When they marry they plan on keeping it for life.

Actually, not necessarily. One can plan to marry with the intent that his/her husband/wife will die soon and they will inherit the money, and/or it could be for a number of other reasons. It could simply be for a bet or something, sad as it may sound it could be true. You never know the intentions of why someone would marry. Now I would hope that they would plan on keeping it for life, since marriage is historically recognized as a notion and policy that you keep until you pass away.

But like I said...you never know..

Its excepted that people marry for love. Just because you found some other possible reason for one to marry just show the exception not the rule.
I just want to know why people in love want to marry. What do they have more after they are married than before.
I'm not talking about tax benefits because
A: thats the exception not the rule.
B: Marriage came before tax benefits.
sal
Posts: 319
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4/1/2011 9:46:12 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 3/25/2011 11:56:46 AM, Chrysippus wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

Advantages of a legally married state vary from couple to couple, the most common being:
- legal and emotional protections for the children
- emotional security
- guarantees of exclusivity
- property rights
- health advantages
- social and reputational advantages
- religious beliefs
- stability

Why don't the just sign a legal contract?
Why do you need a marriage license?
You don't need a special license to sign contract.

There are more, depending on where you live.


If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

You are immature and unreliable? Perhaps you'll grow up someday.

Will you sign a business contract where you have to work in the business for life?
PervRat
Posts: 963
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4/1/2011 11:33:20 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Life is crazy, but some folk find other folk to ride out the storm of life with. A vow to commit onesself to another, for each to give up their lives and reforge themselves in one unified life is a desire common across a wide variety of religions, cultures and sexual orientations. It is common enough for the law to recognize the commitment, and grant not just tax benefits but special legal rights recognizing spouses as having special, assumed powers of attorney in the event one married partner loses soundnes of mind or body, as well as granting protection to spouses against being legally forced to testify against their spouse in court.

The commitment that is marriage, and the legal responsibilities that go with it, is not for everyone, but it is the choice for many and a terrible tyranny when the law intervenes to prevent it because the majority in a society decide they do not approve of consenting couples who wish to marry because of gender, race or other irrelevancies.
sal
Posts: 319
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4/1/2011 12:20:29 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 11:33:20 AM, PervRat wrote:
Life is crazy, but some folk find other folk to ride out the storm of life with. A vow to commit onesself to another, for each to give up their lives and reforge themselves in one unified life is a desire common across a wide variety of religions, cultures and sexual orientations. It is common enough for the law to recognize the commitment, and grant not just tax benefits but special legal rights recognizing spouses as having special, assumed powers of attorney in the event one married partner loses soundnes of mind or body, as well as granting protection to spouses against being legally forced to testify against their spouse in court.

The commitment that is marriage, and the legal responsibilities that go with it, is not for everyone, but it is the choice for many and a terrible tyranny when the law intervenes to prevent it because the majority in a society decide they do not approve of consenting couples who wish to marry because of gender, race or other irrelevancies.

From what I understand you are saying that marriage is cultural/religious kind of thing. I'm not sure why it should make its way into the legal system especially if its religious, what happened to separation between church and state.

I don't understand you second point if you say that marriage is cultural why cant a culture declare this is marriage and this is not.
PervRat
Posts: 963
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4/1/2011 12:26:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 12:20:29 PM, sal wrote:
From what I understand you are saying that marriage is cultural/religious kind of thing. I'm not sure why it should make its way into the legal system especially if its religious, what happened to separation between church and state.

I don't understand you second point if you say that marriage is cultural why cant a culture declare this is marriage and this is not.

I was trying to say that marriage is common across a wide variety of cultures and beliefs. It is because of that, that one particular belief system should not be permitted to force its dogma onto marriage (something I didn't say but tried to imply).

This is where a democracy can fail freedom: when a majority can tyrannize minorities.
sal
Posts: 319
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4/1/2011 12:46:01 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 12:26:23 PM, PervRat wrote:
At 4/1/2011 12:20:29 PM, sal wrote:
From what I understand you are saying that marriage is cultural/religious kind of thing. I'm not sure why it should make its way into the legal system especially if its religious, what happened to separation between church and state.

I don't understand you second point if you say that marriage is cultural why cant a culture declare this is marriage and this is not.

I was trying to say that marriage is common across a wide variety of cultures and beliefs. It is because of that, that one particular belief system should not be permitted to force its dogma onto marriage (something I didn't say but tried to imply).

This is where a democracy can fail freedom: when a majority can tyrannize minorities.

But if in all those cultures X is not a type of marriage then why should someone be forced to except it. isn't that forcing your view on others.
PervRat
Posts: 963
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4/1/2011 12:56:05 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 12:46:01 PM, sal wrote:
But if in all those cultures X is not a type of marriage then why should someone be forced to except it. isn't that forcing your view on others.

For any nation that claims to be for all people, it must allow the most universal. Tolerating the existence and equal others having different beliefs/lifestyles/cultures/religions/etc. from you is a basic component of being in a free society. Seeking to demean others, deny free choice to consenting adults to form legally-recognized families even through democratic, popular-majority means, eliminates freedom, liberty, justice and equality and tyrannizes all.

If you are intolerant to others, who believe differently than you, to have the same rights as you do, then you are a bigot and opposed to freedom, liberty, justice and equality.
ruelariat
Posts: 186
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4/1/2011 2:27:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
In my opinion marriage is just a waste of money. There's nothing wrong with wanting to commit yourself I guess as long as you can stay commited. Divorce costs money, too. It's just a lot cheaper to not get married because a majority of the time you're going to seperate, and when you do then you don't have to pay anybody to seperate you two. You just do it yourself.
Puck
Posts: 6,457
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4/3/2011 2:31:13 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 4:09:12 AM, Mirza wrote:
At 4/1/2011 3:58:52 AM, Puck wrote:
Source?
In terms of well-being...

No in terms of what I quoted ...
Chrysippus
Posts: 2,173
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4/3/2011 9:11:29 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 9:46:12 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 11:56:46 AM, Chrysippus wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

Advantages of a legally married state vary from couple to couple, the most common being:
- legal and emotional protections for the children
- emotional security
- guarantees of exclusivity
- property rights
- health advantages
- social and reputational advantages
- religious beliefs
- stability

Why don't the just sign a legal contract?
Why do you need a marriage license?
You don't need a special license to sign contract.

The above protections are provided by a mixture of the current laws, traditions, and cultural attitudes. A simple legal contract could not provide all of these; though it might cover most of the legal provisions, the emotional side would be unaddressed. For most people, that is the most important part.


There are more, depending on where you live.


If I for some reason found out that I signed a contract that was binding for life, the first thing I would do would be try to find a way out.

You are immature and unreliable? Perhaps you'll grow up someday.

Will you sign a business contract where you have to work in the business for life?

Someone marrying is not analogous to someone going into business or being employed. Marriage is not just a legal issue, nor even primarily a legal issue; employment is not designed to provide an emotionally stable relationship and protective environment.
Cavete mea inexorabilis legiones mimus!
reddj2
Posts: 239
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4/3/2011 2:18:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 2:27:23 PM, ruelariat wrote:
In my opinion marriage is just a waste of money. There's nothing wrong with wanting to commit yourself I guess as long as you can stay commited. Divorce costs money, too. It's just a lot cheaper to not get married because a majority of the time you're going to seperate, and when you do then you don't have to pay anybody to seperate you two. You just do it yourself.

Thats why its suppose to be the ultimate sign of love, a marrige says im staying with this person for the rest of my life
sal
Posts: 319
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4/10/2011 8:46:04 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 12:56:05 PM, PervRat wrote:
At 4/1/2011 12:46:01 PM, sal wrote:
But if in all those cultures X is not a type of marriage then why should someone be forced to except it. isn't that forcing your view on others.

For any nation that claims to be for all people, it must allow the most universal. Tolerating the existence and equal others having different beliefs/lifestyles/cultures/religions/etc. from you is a basic component of being in a free society. Seeking to demean others, deny free choice to consenting adults to form legally-recognized families even through democratic, popular-majority means, eliminates freedom, liberty, justice and equality and tyrannizes all.

No one is stopping anyone from marrying they just don't get certain benefits. I have no Idea why any government should offer benefits for marrying. Like I said earlier, your in love good for you why do I have to give you anything for it.

As far as your concern of families, I'm pretty sure its a law of nature that certain relationships wont produce families.

If you are intolerant to others, who believe differently than you, to have the same rights as you do, then you are a bigot and opposed to freedom, liberty, justice and equality.

If you are so tolerant to others who believe differently then why don't you tolerate those who don't believe in tolerance.
sal
Posts: 319
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4/11/2011 10:04:18 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/3/2011 9:11:29 AM, Chrysippus wrote:
At 4/1/2011 9:46:12 AM, sal wrote:
At 3/25/2011 11:56:46 AM, Chrysippus wrote:
At 3/25/2011 9:53:22 AM, sal wrote:
Whats the point what is there to gain?
Why would anyone in their right mind commit themselves for life?

Advantages of a legally married state vary from couple to couple, the most common being:
- legal and emotional protections for the children
- emotional security
- guarantees of exclusivity
- property rights
- health advantages
- social and reputational advantages
- religious beliefs
- stability

Why don't the just sign a legal contract?
Why do you need a marriage license?
You don't need a special license to sign contract.

The above protections are provided by a mixture of the current laws, traditions, and cultural attitudes. A simple legal contract could not provide all of these; though it might cover most of the legal provisions, the emotional side would be unaddressed. For most people, that is the most important part.

Is the emotional part of marriage only fulfilled if its somehow binding? cant the 2 just commit to each other. It will save a lot of hassle.
In what sense is it really binding.
BilllyMayes
Posts: 6
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4/12/2011 4:29:53 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/1/2011 12:20:29 PM, sal wrote:
At 4/1/2011 11:33:20 AM, PervRat wrote:
Life is crazy, but some folk find other folk to ride out the storm of life with. A vow to commit onesself to another, for each to give up their lives and reforge themselves in one unified life is a desire common across a wide variety of religions, cultures and sexual orientations. It is common enough for the law to recognize the commitment, and grant not just tax benefits but special legal rights recognizing spouses as having special, assumed powers of attorney in the event one married partner loses soundnes of mind or body, as well as granting protection to spouses against being legally forced to testify against their spouse in court.

The commitment that is marriage, and the legal responsibilities that go with it, is not for everyone, but it is the choice for many and a terrible tyranny when the law intervenes to prevent it because the majority in a society decide they do not approve of consenting couples who wish to marry because of gender, race or other irrelevancies.

From what I understand you are saying that marriage is cultural/religious kind of thing. I'm not sure why it should make its way into the legal system especially if its religious, what happened to separation between church and state.

I don't understand you second point if you say that marriage is cultural why cant a culture declare this is marriage and this is not.

Separation of church and state= A bunch of crap. If it weren't for religion, our values would be much different. There might not be rules against stealing, lying, etc.

To your second point on his second point, doesn't culture declare what is and isn't a marriage? Ex. Gay Marriage?

From what I have read you just want to argue. You seem to be clawing and scratching for any tiny detail. You are missing the big picture, and I think it is rather simple. Some people feel a need to get married just for traditions sake. Some make the choice for tax purposes. Still others make the choice for more sinister reasons (gold diggers). Plenty of people co-exist, and that is their decision. There is no real right/wrong answer to your question because the choice to marry should be a personal decision.
lucyalice1989
Posts: 12
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5/13/2011 1:40:32 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Yeah but if you were in love and could not bear to ever part from that person then you would'nt be trying to find a way out and you would be marrying for the right reason!