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Breaking up on FB

Indophile
Posts: 1,414
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9/20/2011 2:28:24 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I recently read an article where a girl studying in a prestigious university in India committed suicide after her boyfriend posted a public message on FB that he had ditched her. She posted a message saying this is the best revenge she could get and committed suicide.

Some excerpts from the article.

"Since the last one to two years patients have come to me, disturbed about what people had written about them online," says Dr Deepak Gupta, child and adolescent psychiatrist. The perception about ones' 'image' on social networking forms a major part about how youngsters perceive themselves nowadays."

The 'cool' quotient is decided there. "Whether you're cool or not, is decided on FB by your photos, who you are clicked with. A lot of my pals have FB BFs - that is their relation is more 'active' on FB, than in real life. But that's the 'in' thing - to show off your hot love life,"says Preeti Khanna (name changed).
You will say that I don't really know you
And it will be true.
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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9/20/2011 2:38:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Facebook has nothing to do with this. It is American parents and the "feel good" generation that fail at the realities of the world. Why do teens even have relationships? Its not like they are going to marry those people, its just for sexual maturity and practice. Most teenagers don't understand this, and their parents don't teach it to them, so they go off doing stupid things like what that girl has gone.

Our scapegoats are Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, when the real perpetrators of this idiotic act reside in the method of overly-permissive parenting, failed education systems and values, and lack of sensible priorities in the teen years.

How many kids must kill themselves, before we realize that the problem is not facebook?
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
Indophile
Posts: 1,414
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9/20/2011 2:42:02 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:38:16 PM, 000ike wrote:
Facebook has nothing to do with this. It is American parents and the "feel good" generation that fail at the realities of the world. Why do teens even have relationships? Its not like they are going to marry those people, its just for sexual maturity and practice. Most teenagers don't understand this, and their parents don't teach it to them, so they go off doing stupid things like what that girl has gone.

Our scapegoats are Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, when the real perpetrators of this idiotic act reside in the method of overly-permissive parenting, failed education systems and values, and lack of sensible priorities in the teen years.

Dude, we are talking about India here. Do you really want to apply these "honorifics" to Indian culture?

How many kids must kill themselves, before we realize that the problem is not facebook?
You will say that I don't really know you
And it will be true.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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9/20/2011 2:42:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:38:16 PM, 000ike wrote:
Facebook has nothing to do with this. It is American parents and the "feel good" generation that fail at the realities of the world. Why do teens even have relationships? Its not like they are going to marry those people, its just for sexual maturity and practice.

*cough*

Most teenagers don't understand this, and their parents don't teach it to them, so they go off doing stupid things like what that girl has gone.

Our scapegoats are Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, when the real perpetrators of this idiotic act reside in the method of overly-permissive parenting, failed education systems and values, and lack of sensible priorities in the teen years.

How many kids must kill themselves, before we realize that the problem is not facebook?

Facebook was merely a tool. I think that everyone that chooses to use suicide as a means of "harming" others should do it right now and get out of the way of life for the rest of us. While when someone does commit suicide, it is painful to those around them that care about them, there is little that can be done when people have a mindset that they can use it as a tool against others.

All in all, once the pain has passed, we are better off without those people.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
000ike
Posts: 11,196
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9/20/2011 2:46:30 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:42:26 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 9/20/2011 2:38:16 PM, 000ike wrote:
Facebook has nothing to do with this. It is American parents and the "feel good" generation that fail at the realities of the world. Why do teens even have relationships? Its not like they are going to marry those people, its just for sexual maturity and practice.

*cough*

Oh, lol that came out wrong. I meant that they need practice having relationships

Most teenagers don't understand this, and their parents don't teach it to them, so they go off doing stupid things like what that girl has gone.

Our scapegoats are Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, when the real perpetrators of this idiotic act reside in the method of overly-permissive parenting, failed education systems and values, and lack of sensible priorities in the teen years.

How many kids must kill themselves, before we realize that the problem is not facebook?

Facebook was merely a tool. I think that everyone that chooses to use suicide as a means of "harming" others should do it right now and get out of the way of life for the rest of us. While when someone does commit suicide, it is painful to those around them that care about them, there is little that can be done when people have a mindset that they can use it as a tool against others.

All in all, once the pain has passed, we are better off without those people.

We are not better off without those people, we're better off without their mentality. They need counciling, education, and proper parenting. I'm saddened to the point of anger that things like this happen, when they really don't have to.
"A stupid despot may constrain his slaves with iron chains; but a true politician binds them even more strongly with the chain of their own ideas" - Michel Foucault
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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9/20/2011 2:50:32 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:46:30 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 9/20/2011 2:42:26 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 9/20/2011 2:38:16 PM, 000ike wrote:
Facebook has nothing to do with this. It is American parents and the "feel good" generation that fail at the realities of the world. Why do teens even have relationships? Its not like they are going to marry those people, its just for sexual maturity and practice.

*cough*

Oh, lol that came out wrong. I meant that they need practice having relationships

I was actually coughing at the fact that I am married to the girl I was dating in high school. But I'm more likely an exception, not a rule.

Most teenagers don't understand this, and their parents don't teach it to them, so they go off doing stupid things like what that girl has gone.

Our scapegoats are Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, when the real perpetrators of this idiotic act reside in the method of overly-permissive parenting, failed education systems and values, and lack of sensible priorities in the teen years.

How many kids must kill themselves, before we realize that the problem is not facebook?

Facebook was merely a tool. I think that everyone that chooses to use suicide as a means of "harming" others should do it right now and get out of the way of life for the rest of us. While when someone does commit suicide, it is painful to those around them that care about them, there is little that can be done when people have a mindset that they can use it as a tool against others.

All in all, once the pain has passed, we are better off without those people.

We are not better off without those people, we're better off without their mentality. They need counciling, education, and proper parenting. I'm saddened to the point of anger that things like this happen, when they really don't have to.

Maybe I'm just skeptic, but I feel that if they hold that additude by the time they are in college, it is too late for counciling. Most kids go through the "rebel" stage through highschool and college, and so any attempt to "help" them is going to naturally be resisted and the kid is going to push in the opposite direction.

This is something that has to be addressed as proper raising from when they are little kids. By this time, I say cut your loses. I don't see a way to seperate the actual person from their mentality.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Tiel
Posts: 1,500
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9/20/2011 3:16:29 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The problem is that human culture as a whole seems to be changing as more and more people are influenced by the modern era and technology. If people don't learn how to get back to real life interaction, humanity may continue to change for the worse. It's a problem that many young people don't know how to interact with people in real life very efficiently. Technology has taken over and I see many many problem branching off from this new modern tree of life. I'm just glad that I experienced living at a time before technology completely took over.
"Only the inner force of curiosity and wonder about the unknown, or an outer force upon your free will, can brake the shackles of your current perception."
Logic_on_rails
Posts: 2,445
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9/21/2011 4:00:27 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Put simply, this isn't a direct result of Facebook. It's a mixture of a lot of factors. Of course, it doesn't matter what the factors are because there's clearly a mental problem when one is killing themselves over comments on Facebook. It's a classical case of being friends with those who insult and degrade you, merely don't be with such 'friends'.

Of course, I suppose I 'don't understand' . I'm clearly an unusual teenager as I listen to music like Albert Hammond, The Bee Gees, Paul McCartney etc. and respect things such as chivalry and honour. I also never use swear or use things such as emoticons. I'm clearly a totally unreliable source on this issue.
"Tis not in mortals to command success
But we"ll do more, Sempronius, we"ll deserve it
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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9/21/2011 5:19:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Facebook cannot be held liable anymore than AT&T could be held liable if he broke up with her over the phone and she commited suicide.

What an absurd argument.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,325
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9/21/2011 5:29:41 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Oregon brings upp a good point....

Suicide has gone on since times long forgotten, and will likely continue to go on.

Facebook has just made people more aware of an already established pattern of behavior with a visible venue.
Indophile
Posts: 1,414
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9/21/2011 6:25:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/21/2011 5:19:36 PM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
Facebook cannot be held liable anymore than AT&T could be held liable if he broke up with her over the phone and she commited suicide.

What an absurd argument.

You are not getting the point.

Breaking up by posting publicly in FB is not the same as breaking up over the phone. If the guy had posted a private message, then your analogy makes sense.

I'm not blaming FB either.
You will say that I don't really know you
And it will be true.
Wnope
Posts: 6,924
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9/21/2011 8:35:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:28:24 PM, Indophile wrote:
I recently read an article where a girl studying in a prestigious university in India committed suicide after her boyfriend posted a public message on FB that he had ditched her. She posted a message saying this is the best revenge she could get and committed suicide.

Some excerpts from the article.

"Since the last one to two years patients have come to me, disturbed about what people had written about them online," says Dr Deepak Gupta, child and adolescent psychiatrist. The perception about ones' 'image' on social networking forms a major part about how youngsters perceive themselves nowadays."

The 'cool' quotient is decided there. "Whether you're cool or not, is decided on FB by your photos, who you are clicked with. A lot of my pals have FB BFs - that is their relation is more 'active' on FB, than in real life. But that's the 'in' thing - to show off your hot love life,"says Preeti Khanna (name changed).

I bet you that if her social circle were restricted to a ten mile radius, and the local community covered all ten miles, then the boyfriend bragging around town that he ditched the girl would have a very similar effect to the boyfriend telling everyone he ditched her (possibly seeing in it writing makes it especially powerful).
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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9/24/2011 1:32:46 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 9/20/2011 2:28:24 PM, Indophile wrote:
I recently read an article where a girl studying in a prestigious university in India committed suicide after her boyfriend posted a public message on FB that he had ditched her. She posted a message saying this is the best revenge she could get and committed suicide.

Some excerpts from the article.

"Since the last one to two years patients have come to me, disturbed about what people had written about them online," says Dr Deepak Gupta, child and adolescent psychiatrist. The perception about ones' 'image' on social networking forms a major part about how youngsters perceive themselves nowadays."

The 'cool' quotient is decided there. "Whether you're cool or not, is decided on FB by your photos, who you are clicked with. A lot of my pals have FB BFs - that is their relation is more 'active' on FB, than in real life. But that's the 'in' thing - to show off your hot love life,"says Preeti Khanna (name changed).

I don't know why, but people like that make me cringe. How the hell are they expected to go through their life?