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Discussing issues of sex on DDO and...

innomen
Posts: 10,052
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10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
That got your attention ;-)

Anywho, once in a while i hear an issue that concerns itself with sex, and think it might be a good topic on DDO. As always i sort of forget that the median age here is about 18 with large numbers of members below that age line. Even those at that age line are often not super experienced in that it can be discussed at a mature level. I don't want to sound condescending in this, not at all, but i do wish to remain appropriate in what is presented here.

Having said that, and really just avoiding some of my work.....

After a "hookup", the next morning do you think women (on the whole) feel differently about it than men do?

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.
Lickdafoot
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10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I once heard something that i think sums it up pretty well: men need sex to feel emotionally connected to their partner; women need emotional connection to feel sexually connected to their partner.

I've done a couple of hook ups in the past and they only worked because i didn't want anything more from the guys and didn't care to see them much afterward. this was because i was experimenting. i wouldn't do it now; because i realize how much more fulfilling an actual relationship is. Sex changes the relationship whether you like it or not, even for the males. these same males that i'm speaking of became pests after we did the deed and then i wasn't calling them, or trying to see them more.

if a girl actually has feelings for the guy, casual sex will mess the relationship up. the girl might give in cause she likes the guy, but it comes with complications; if the girl then decides that she gave it up too soon and tries taking it slow, the guy will be left wondering why the girl is now holding off and possibly think they messed up somehow- it's a blow to their ego.

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.
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Lickdafoot
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10/14/2011 2:19:26 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
^ i also, on average, think more like a guy, and am attracted to sensitive guys, so maybe thats why they always chased me afterward.
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F-16_Fighting_Falcon
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10/14/2011 2:27:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.

Nooo! The entire purpose of life is to have sex.

P1) The purpose of life is to reproduce and extend your species
P2) Reproduction occurs through sex

Conc: The purpose of life is to have sex.

"Not giving up too soon" doesn't adequately protect the human species from extinction. People should have as much sex as possible so they can save humans from extinction. The goals of having sex are noble, not borne out of a desire for personal pleasure.
Lickdafoot
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10/14/2011 2:35:22 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 2:27:57 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.

Nooo! The entire purpose of life is to have sex.

P1) The purpose of life is to reproduce and extend your species
P2) Reproduction occurs through sex

Conc: The purpose of life is to have sex.

"Not giving up too soon" doesn't adequately protect the human species from extinction. People should have as much sex as possible so they can save humans from extinction. The goals of having sex are noble, not borne out of a desire for personal pleasure.

Well if that were the case, then all these people would need to have unprotected sex, in which case they would all spread HIV and other Std's to each other, killing themselves and potentially infecting the babies; rendering their "purpose" useless.

we're overpopulated enough as it is.
WAKE UP AND READ THIS: http://www.debate.org...
Jibby_page
Posts: 3
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10/14/2011 2:37:57 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
There is also a very interesting theory, I don't remember what it's called, but anyway....it says that all of your actions, even the little ones, are directed towards finding a (new) person to have sex with. Think about it.. it's actually truer than it sounds.
So yeah, sex is pretty much the most important thing..dunno about the reproduction part though..in fact, integrating that with sex will scare someone like me off..:)
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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10/14/2011 2:46:37 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think making generalizations on the basis of something as broad as gender is silly. Like Lickdafoot pointed out, there are "sensitive" guys who don't only want sex from women... of course these are the guys who never tend to get any anyway. Likewise I know plenty of girls who don't want a relationship and enjoy the simplicity and convenience of just hooking up; women like sex too. While there are certainly biological differences among the sexes, I think gender roles are exaggerated and encouraged by society. I'm not sure there is a black and white answer to this question -- it could go either way. I'd say that overall though, it's true women are more emotionally involved when it comes to sex. This is for both evolutionary reasons and probably cultural as well, as women tend to be more interested in romantic relationships (on balance) than men. I think men are more comfortable being single. A lot of women romanticize everything. Again, these types of broad generalizations make me a little uncomfortable though.
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innomen
Posts: 10,052
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10/14/2011 3:26:52 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 2:46:37 PM, Danielle wrote:
I think making generalizations on the basis of something as broad as gender is silly. Like Lickdafoot pointed out, there are "sensitive" guys who don't only want sex from women... of course these are the guys who never tend to get any anyway. Likewise I know plenty of girls who don't want a relationship and enjoy the simplicity and convenience of just hooking up; women like sex too. While there are certainly biological differences among the sexes, I think gender roles are exaggerated and encouraged by society. I'm not sure there is a black and white answer to this question -- it could go either way. I'd say that overall though, it's true women are more emotionally involved when it comes to sex. This is for both evolutionary reasons and probably cultural as well, as women tend to be more interested in romantic relationships (on balance) than men. I think men are more comfortable being single. A lot of women romanticize everything. Again, these types of broad generalizations make me a little uncomfortable though.

I agree with generalizing, and that's why i said on the whole. However, i could be hugely wrong, particularly about women, i think you've taught me more about the inner workings of a woman than pretty much anyone. I am curious though on the overall emotional differences if there are any, and particularly about sex.

There are plenty of guys who keep sex at the emotional level, and cannot pull it apart, but i would say on the whole, men keep it optional, in that there can be an emotional connection to the activity if they want it that way. There is a large utilitarian factor with sex and men, and i am sure there is a similar component for women, but is it simply kept as a necessary function for the body? What lickdafoot described was very much what i would say is a typical guy. Again, i am probably operating in a culturally conditioned mindset.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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10/14/2011 3:44:23 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM, innomen wrote:
That got your attention ;-)

Anywho, once in a while i hear an issue that concerns itself with sex, and think it might be a good topic on DDO. As always i sort of forget that the median age here is about 18 with large numbers of members below that age line. Even those at that age line are often not super experienced in that it can be discussed at a mature level. I don't want to sound condescending in this, not at all, but i do wish to remain appropriate in what is presented here.

Having said that, and really just avoiding some of my work.....


Sex releases oxytocin, which is a pair bonding hormone. It is relased much more in women than in men, and is often considered the cause of making women want to cuddle more afterwards.

After a "hookup", the next morning do you think women (on the whole) feel differently about it than men do?

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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10/14/2011 3:46:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 2:27:57 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.

Nooo! The entire purpose of life is to have sex.

P1) The purpose of life is to reproduce and extend your species
P2) Reproduction occurs through sex

Conc: The purpose of life is to have sex.

"Not giving up too soon" doesn't adequately protect the human species from extinction. People should have as much sex as possible so they can save humans from extinction. The goals of having sex are noble, not borne out of a desire for personal pleasure.

Correction to P2.

Reproduction occurs through unprotected sex with as many women as possible with the only consideration being if they are ovulating or not.

Conclusion - The purpose of life is to never wear a condom, have sex with any women, regardless of looks or age, so long as she is post-puberty and pre-menopause.

Of course, I disagree with P1, but that is a different topic.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
F-16_Fighting_Falcon
Posts: 18,324
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10/14/2011 3:59:36 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 3:46:59 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:27:57 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.

Nooo! The entire purpose of life is to have sex.

P1) The purpose of life is to reproduce and extend your species
P2) Reproduction occurs through sex

Conc: The purpose of life is to have sex.

"Not giving up too soon" doesn't adequately protect the human species from extinction. People should have as much sex as possible so they can save humans from extinction. The goals of having sex are noble, not borne out of a desire for personal pleasure.

Correction to P2.

Reproduction occurs through unprotected sex with as many women as possible with the only consideration being if they are ovulating or not.

Conclusion - The purpose of life is to never wear a condom, have sex with any women, regardless of looks or age, so long as she is post-puberty and pre-menopause.

Yes, that sounds about right.

Of course, I disagree with P1, but that is a different topic.

I want to add that you should try to figure out if they have an STD though, and abstain from sex if they do, because then you would die and it doesn't fulfill the purpose of extending the population.
JustCallMeTarzan
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10/14/2011 4:36:17 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Psychology Today had a great article about this - they concluded basically that it depends on what each person is looking for...
rogue
Posts: 2,325
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10/14/2011 5:03:19 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM, innomen wrote:
That got your attention ;-)

Anywho, once in a while i hear an issue that concerns itself with sex, and think it might be a good topic on DDO. As always i sort of forget that the median age here is about 18 with large numbers of members below that age line. Even those at that age line are often not super experienced in that it can be discussed at a mature level. I don't want to sound condescending in this, not at all, but i do wish to remain appropriate in what is presented here.

Having said that, and really just avoiding some of my work.....

After a "hookup", the next morning do you think women (on the whole) feel differently about it than men do?

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.

Maybe in general you are correct but I have seen the exact opposite so i wouldnt generalize.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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10/14/2011 5:05:33 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 3:59:36 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/14/2011 3:46:59 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:27:57 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:17:10 PM, Lickdafoot wrote:

so you young girls out there (like theres any girls on ddo lol), if you really like a guy, don't give it up until you are ready! and if you are a young guy, don't push a girl into doing things too soon.

Nooo! The entire purpose of life is to have sex.

P1) The purpose of life is to reproduce and extend your species
P2) Reproduction occurs through sex

Conc: The purpose of life is to have sex.

"Not giving up too soon" doesn't adequately protect the human species from extinction. People should have as much sex as possible so they can save humans from extinction. The goals of having sex are noble, not borne out of a desire for personal pleasure.

Correction to P2.

Reproduction occurs through unprotected sex with as many women as possible with the only consideration being if they are ovulating or not.

Conclusion - The purpose of life is to never wear a condom, have sex with any women, regardless of looks or age, so long as she is post-puberty and pre-menopause.

Yes, that sounds about right.

Of course, I disagree with P1, but that is a different topic.

I want to add that you should try to figure out if they have an STD though, and abstain from sex if they do, because then you would die and it doesn't fulfill the purpose of extending the population.

Most STDs are not life threatening.
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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10/14/2011 5:42:53 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think it comes down to the individual more than sex.

Those things are primarily cultural in my opinion.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
MarquisX
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10/14/2011 6:24:09 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I'm sleeping with a girl now who doesn't want anything emotional. Not that I can tell. She's does have a boyfriend so maybe she doesn't need the extra feelings and emotions.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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10/15/2011 4:24:26 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 6:24:09 PM, MarquisX wrote:
I'm sleeping with a girl now who doesn't want anything emotional. Not that I can tell. She's does have a boyfriend so maybe she doesn't need the extra feelings and emotions.

Umm, your profile says you're married.
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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10/15/2011 4:32:20 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 2:37:57 PM, Jibby_page wrote:
There is also a very interesting theory, I don't remember what it's called, but anyway....it says that all of your actions, even the little ones, are directed towards finding a (new) person to have sex with. Think about it.. it's actually truer than it sounds.

Okay littlest things I do not think would aim at sex:
1. Home work
2. Eating
3. Killing (talking about murderers here)
4. Sleeping

So yeah, sex is pretty much the most important thing..dunno about the reproduction part though..in fact, integrating that with sex will scare someone like me off..:)
MarquisX
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10/15/2011 7:29:23 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/15/2011 4:24:26 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 10/14/2011 6:24:09 PM, MarquisX wrote:
I'm sleeping with a girl now who doesn't want anything emotional. Not that I can tell. She's does have a boyfriend so maybe she doesn't need the extra feelings and emotions.

Umm, your profile says you're married.

I haven't updated my profile in months. I'm single now. Besides there is no reason to change it anyway.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
gerrandesquire
Posts: 1,258
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10/15/2011 7:38:21 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/15/2011 7:29:23 AM, MarquisX wrote:
At 10/15/2011 4:24:26 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 10/14/2011 6:24:09 PM, MarquisX wrote:
I'm sleeping with a girl now who doesn't want anything emotional. Not that I can tell. She's does have a boyfriend so maybe she doesn't need the extra feelings and emotions.

Umm, your profile says you're married.

I haven't updated my profile in months. I'm single now. Besides there is no reason to change it anyway.

I feel like a jerk now. Sincerly apology.
Jibby_page
Posts: 3
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10/15/2011 7:43:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/15/2011 4:32:20 AM, gerrandesquire wrote:
At 10/14/2011 2:37:57 PM, Jibby_page wrote:
There is also a very interesting theory, I don't remember what it's called, but anyway....it says that all of your actions, even the little ones, are directed towards finding a (new) person to have sex with. Think about it.. it's actually truer than it sounds.

Okay littlest things I do not think would aim at sex:
1. Home work
2. Eating
3. Killing (talking about murderers here)
4. Sleeping

So yeah, sex is pretty much the most important thing..dunno about the reproduction part though..in fact, integrating that with sex will scare someone like me off..:)

Homework improves chances at your getting better grades. It's a well known fact that females prefer males with better grades as a partner, keeping all other factors constant.
'Eating' and 'sleeping', used in conversations as innuendos have all the chances of ending up in sex.
Killing..dunno. I ain't that perverted :)
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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10/15/2011 7:45:23 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM, innomen wrote:

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.

I am not wired correctly.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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10/15/2011 11:08:10 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM, innomen wrote:
That got your attention ;-)

Anywho, once in a while i hear an issue that concerns itself with sex, and think it might be a good topic on DDO. As always i sort of forget that the median age here is about 18 with large numbers of members below that age line. Even those at that age line are often not super experienced in that it can be discussed at a mature level. I don't want to sound condescending in this, not at all, but i do wish to remain appropriate in what is presented here.

Having said that, and really just avoiding some of my work.....

After a "hookup", the next morning do you think women (on the whole) feel differently about it than men do?

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.:

There are a lot of factors. Anecdotally there are a lot of men and women who are clingers and others who can compartmentalize sex. Perhaps in general men on average are able to compartmentalize sex and emotional feelings slightly better than women, but I honestly think it's only slightly.

Really it depends on the person's personality, male or female.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
PARADIGM_L0ST
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10/15/2011 11:17:30 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
Sex releases oxytocin, which is a pair bonding hormone. It is relased much more in women than in men, and is often considered the cause of making women want to cuddle more afterwards.:

Ugh... and with men (at least with me) after busting a nut, the last thing I want to do is "cuddle." I only do it as an obligatory response. It's not that I intend to be a shallow @sshole after doing the deed, it's just biological. The least sexual a man can ever be is after an orgasm.

And then 15 minutes later, that can all change. Hormones are crazy, crazy chemicals.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
PARADIGM_L0ST
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10/15/2011 11:18:52 AM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 10/15/2011 7:45:23 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
At 10/14/2011 1:59:06 PM, innomen wrote:

I believe, and this is just my own intuitive sense, that men are able to compartmentalize sex as being purely physical, and the emotional component is optional, and for women it is less optional. I may have no leg to stand on at all, just curious.

I am not wired correctly.:

Expound, please.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
breaxxbaxx
Posts: 40
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10/15/2011 12:01:21 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think it all comes down to the individual and how people are socialized. I know guys who can't have sex with someone if there isn't an emotional attachment there, and I know girls who can. It differs from person to person, but I will say that how male and females are socialized when it comes to sex can have an affect.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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10/15/2011 2:21:48 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think someone said this, that much of it comes down to the intentions of the person entering the hookup, and if someone is looking for a no strings attached good time, it will remain only sex, and others who are looking for a mate, and trying to find more in the hookup emotionally (even at a not conscious level) will not be able to compartmentalize. I think some are just prone to want more and are looking for more - male and female, but more often males are not looking for a committment.
PARADIGM_L0ST
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10/15/2011 3:00:40 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
I think some are just prone to want more and are looking for more - male and female, but more often males are not looking for a committment.:

That sums it up well. I think a lot of people go in to it with low expectations (just casual sex). Occasionally sparks fly for one or both, even if not intending to. But others go in to with poor motives altogether and just want something they can control in to a manipulative relationship.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)