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To Feminist Haters

royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 7:35:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Non-feminist 'more hostile' towards men than feminists, study finds

by Jess McCabe // 31 July 2009, 17:26

One of the hoary stereotypes about feminists is that we are 'man-haters'. I suspect that most feminists are more likely to roll their eyes at this sort of thing - I find it hard to take too seriously, although of course these stereotypes don't spring out of no-where, and they're often a type of silencing technique.

(They're also quite interesting in what they can tell us, I think. For example, an explanation for the man-hating myth could be that our culture is so overly focused on men, and male-privilege is so deeply entrenched, that when feminists criticise the status quo it's read as being anti-men rather than addressing the marginalisation and oppression of women.)

Anyway, some researchers at the University of Houston decided to investigate whether it's really true that feminists hate men. They interviewed just under 500 undergraduates, using something called the 'Ambivalence Toward Men Inventory'.

What they found was that feminists reported less hostility towards men than non-feminists. In effect, not only does this suggest the stereotype is not true, it's actually the reverse.

Melinda Kanner, one of the researchers, has this interesting observation:

Our work finds that, indeed, non-feminists believe in traditional gender roles such as men being breadwinners and women being caregivers. At the same time, these non-feminists actually appear to resent the confines of the traditional roles they advocate, which presents a paradox for women and men in traditional heterosexual relationships.

Obviously, as a feminist, I'd not say it was much of a paradox: in actually, traditional gender roles are limiting and constricting, and whatever way you swing it, women are not better off in a sexist society. Individual women who don't agree with feminism are still in actually subject to the same crap as women who do identify as feminists or with feminist-like beliefs.

The study's take on this:

Traditional women have more investment in traditional gender roles in which they are both dependent on men and frustrated and subordinated by male dominance. Glick et al. (2004) found in their 16-nations study that hostility toward men was higher among women than among men. Also, hostility toward men was correlated with the national measures of gender inequality. Glick et al. (2004) reasoned that women in traditional nations may feel more resentment toward men for what they view as abuses of power, but that this resentment is not necessarily a challenge to gender hierarchy because it coexists with benevolent beliefs about men's roles as protectors and providers. The more hostile men are toward women, the more women resent men and show hostility toward men. Heightened resentment of men's hostility and abuses of power may explain why women's reported hostility toward men was higher than that of men in more traditional cultures.

http://www.thefword.org.uk...
brian_eggleston
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7/19/2012 8:56:38 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Interesting read, thanks for posting.

Sadly, we are still a long way from burying gender stereotypical roles in society - and not all women want to, to be fair.

This is reflected in your post, by the way: there is no female equivalent of 'misogynist' (you used the term 'men-hater' as a substitute) and there is no male equivalent of 'feminist' ('male chauvinist pig' is sometimes used but it's not very polite, is it?).

At the end of the day, being a woman has it's advantages and disadvantages: if I were to invite a woman out on a date she wouldn't expect to put her hand in her purse would she?
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royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 8:56:38 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Interesting read, thanks for posting.

Sadly, we are still a long way from burying gender stereotypical roles in society - and not all women want to, to be fair.

This is reflected in your post, by the way: there is no female equivalent of 'misogynist' (you used the term 'men-hater' as a substitute) and there is no male equivalent of 'feminist' ('male chauvinist pig' is sometimes used but it's not very polite, is it?).

At the end of the day, being a woman has it's advantages and disadvantages: if I were to invite a woman out on a date she wouldn't expect to put her hand in her purse would she?

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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7/19/2012 9:09:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM, royalpaladin wrote:

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.

But males still have the pressure to pay. I have to pull some serious ninja skills to pay for anything with my boyfriend. One time he left his wallet in the car and said "I'll be back" and ran out to get it. I tried to pay while he was gone and the salesclerk literally wouldn't take my money. I said "But he pays for everything". She said "He's the guy, he's supposed to".
yang.
inferno
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7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:10:44 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:09:07 AM, tulle wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM, royalpaladin wrote:

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.

But males still have the pressure to pay. I have to pull some serious ninja skills to pay for anything with my boyfriend. One time he left his wallet in the car and said "I'll be back" and ran out to get it. I tried to pay while he was gone and the salesclerk literally wouldn't take my money. I said "But he pays for everything". She said "He's the guy, he's supposed to".

Yeah, I know that there's pressure for them to pay. It's kind of stupid because it degrades women. I hate stupid standards like this.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:12:37 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.

LOL, women can't get ahead if gender roles force them to stay down.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:13:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Also, what the study really demonstrates is that for the most part, women aren't happy being trapped in gender roles. The ones who want to abolish gender roles are happier because they're the ones striving for personal good. The others feel oppressed.
inferno
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7/19/2012 9:14:46 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:12:37 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.

LOL, women can't get ahead if gender roles force them to stay down.

False. Gender roles are irrelevent. You have the power of choice. So you
are the one putting limitations are females in general. Such narrow mindedness often leads you at a critical disadvantage. We talked about this before
Lady Royale. You have to see what the world is like and have experience first.
Otherwise, you know nothing.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:16:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:14:46 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:12:37 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.

LOL, women can't get ahead if gender roles force them to stay down.

False. Gender roles are irrelevent. You have the power of choice.
Choice only exists if society permits women to advanced.

Go to India and Africa, for example. Men won't LET women advance there. They hold them back. It doesn't matter how much motivation and skill I have if nobody hires me.
So you
are the one putting limitations are females in general.
How? By advocating the abolition of gender roles and promoting individual choice? Yup, lots of restrictions there!
Such narrow mindedness often leads you at a critical disadvantage. We talked about this before
Lady Royale. You have to see what the world is like and have experience first.
Otherwise, you know nothing.
inferno
Posts: 10,556
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7/19/2012 9:20:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:16:58 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:14:46 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:12:37 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.

LOL, women can't get ahead if gender roles force them to stay down.

False. Gender roles are irrelevent. You have the power of choice.
Choice only exists if society permits women to advanced.

Go to India and Africa, for example. Men won't LET women advance there. They hold them back. It doesn't matter how much motivation and skill I have if nobody hires me.
So you
are the one putting limitations are females in general.
How? By advocating the abolition of gender roles and promoting individual choice? Yup, lots of restrictions there!
Such narrow mindedness often leads you at a critical disadvantage. We talked about this before
Lady Royale. You have to see what the world is like and have experience first.
Otherwise, you know nothing.

The level of feminism in third world countries have more to do with tradition
and culture. If you find this to be a problem, then maybe you should become
a politician or human rights activist one day. Someone as passionate as you
should take on quite a role. If not, then you are only part of the problem
and not the solution. Change is good my dear friend. But are you ready
to die to set others free.
darkkermit
Posts: 11,204
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7/19/2012 9:26:01 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:09:07 AM, tulle wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM, royalpaladin wrote:

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.

But males still have the pressure to pay. I have to pull some serious ninja skills to pay for anything with my boyfriend. One time he left his wallet in the car and said "I'll be back" and ran out to get it. I tried to pay while he was gone and the salesclerk literally wouldn't take my money. I said "But he pays for everything". She said "He's the guy, he's supposed to".

Have you told him that your willing to pay? Most men believe that they have to pay otherwise they'll look like a giant douche and their girlfriend will break up with them. Some women really take the idea that the male has to pay seriously, so its a bad idea for a male to ask to split it 50-50.
Open borders debate:
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royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:26:28 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:20:21 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:16:58 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:14:46 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:12:37 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:09:12 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:01:09 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
In fact, I would not like someone who expected me not to pay for my portion.

The system is designed for most to fail. But when one access themselves when opportunity arrives, will determine how far you will go. Feminism is a bit
overrated and overplayed. Most Women can get ahead with hard work, and
perserverence. True Men recognize the value of their skills and intelligence
overall. The sad part is that these feminists have a predisposition towards the
male species and are not experts on them at all. It has much to do with prejudice and ignorance. Isnt that right Royale.

LOL, women can't get ahead if gender roles force them to stay down.

False. Gender roles are irrelevent. You have the power of choice.
Choice only exists if society permits women to advanced.

Go to India and Africa, for example. Men won't LET women advance there. They hold them back. It doesn't matter how much motivation and skill I have if nobody hires me.
So you
are the one putting limitations are females in general.
How? By advocating the abolition of gender roles and promoting individual choice? Yup, lots of restrictions there!
Such narrow mindedness often leads you at a critical disadvantage. We talked about this before
Lady Royale. You have to see what the world is like and have experience first.
Otherwise, you know nothing.

The level of feminism in third world countries have more to do with tradition
and culture. If you find this to be a problem, then maybe you should become
a politician or human rights activist one day. Someone as passionate as you
should take on quite a role. If not, then you are only part of the problem
and not the solution. Change is good my dear friend. But are you ready
to die to set others free.

That's my plan, actually. I'm hoping to become a Civil Rights Lawyer and then maybe go into politics.
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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7/19/2012 9:27:32 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 8:56:38 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Interesting read, thanks for posting.

Sadly, we are still a long way from burying gender stereotypical roles in society - and not all women want to, to be fair.

This is reflected in your post, by the way: there is no female equivalent of 'misogynist' (you used the term 'men-hater' as a substitute) and there is no male equivalent of 'feminist' ('male chauvinist pig' is sometimes used but it's not very polite, is it?).

At the end of the day, being a woman has it's advantages and disadvantages: if I were to invite a woman out on a date she wouldn't expect to put her hand in her purse would she?

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.

But when people have left college and are working the man is expected to pay - and want's to: if a woman offered to pay her share I'd be a bit insulted; is she trying to say that I can't afford the price of a meal?

Also, it is almost always the man that invites the woman out, even if they have been dating for some time - how often do you hear a man say "My girlfriend took me to a posh restaurant last night and over the desert she promised to take me on a luxury cruise and buy me some new clothes and pay for me to have a trendy haircut before we go. Obviously I felt obliged to sleep with her - and she did pay for the hotel room and breakfast in bed the next morning."
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OllerupMand
Posts: 375
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7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:31:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:27:32 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:00:30 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 8:56:38 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Interesting read, thanks for posting.

Sadly, we are still a long way from burying gender stereotypical roles in society - and not all women want to, to be fair.

This is reflected in your post, by the way: there is no female equivalent of 'misogynist' (you used the term 'men-hater' as a substitute) and there is no male equivalent of 'feminist' ('male chauvinist pig' is sometimes used but it's not very polite, is it?).

At the end of the day, being a woman has it's advantages and disadvantages: if I were to invite a woman out on a date she wouldn't expect to put her hand in her purse would she?

A lot of college students split the tab on dates.

But when people have left college and are working the man is expected to pay - and want's to: if a woman offered to pay her share I'd be a bit insulted; is she trying to say that I can't afford the price of a meal?

I'm questioning that expectation.

I'm pretty sure that she's just trying to establish equality in the relationship.
Also, it is almost always the man that invites the woman out, even if they have been dating for some time - how often do you hear a man say "My girlfriend took me to a posh restaurant last night and over the desert she promised to take me on a luxury cruise and buy me some new clothes and pay for me to have a trendy haircut before we go. Obviously I felt obliged to sleep with her - and she did pay for the hotel room and breakfast in bed the next morning."

Here's the heart of the problem: men pay because

1. They want to create a sense of obligation on the part of the women to sleep with them. (It's basically bribery and degradation)

2. They're accepting chauvinist standards that give them more power in the relationship since they're the "earners" (which is actually not even true anymore)
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.
OllerupMand
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7/19/2012 9:37:20 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
But it shouldn't come to that. He shouldn't feel that he have to pay. I am just pointing out that both genders are trapped here.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
Of course he should have pride. All people should take pride in themself. The great problem is that he is as much trapped in a gender role as the woman.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:39:40 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:37:20 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
But it shouldn't come to that. He shouldn't feel that he have to pay. I am just pointing out that both genders are trapped here.
Oh, I totally agree, but I don't think that both genders are trapped.

See, the reason that they pay is insidious. They attempt to make the women feel obligated to give them something (sexual favors) in return by paying.

In addition, they attempt to establish themselves as the ones in charge. They're giving something TO her. They START the contact. They are active; the females are passive.

Of course, not every male likes this and thus feel obligated to pay, but those are the reasons that the system was created.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
Of course he should have pride. All people should take pride in themself. The great problem is that he is as much trapped in a gender role as the woman.
Nobody's pride should be damaged if his or her date wants to pay for his or her own portion of the meal.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.
OllerupMand
Posts: 375
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7/19/2012 9:43:18 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:39:40 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:37:20 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
But it shouldn't come to that. He shouldn't feel that he have to pay. I am just pointing out that both genders are trapped here.
Oh, I totally agree, but I don't think that both genders are trapped.

See, the reason that they pay is insidious. They attempt to make the women feel obligated to give them something (sexual favors) in return by paying.

In addition, they attempt to establish themselves as the ones in charge. They're giving something TO her. They START the contact. They are active; the females are passive.
But that is because they are caught in their role. It is their gender role to be active and establish contact. It isn't the male who establish contact everywhere in the world.


Of course, not every male likes this and thus feel obligated to pay, but those are the reasons that the system was created.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
Of course he should have pride. All people should take pride in themself. The great problem is that he is as much trapped in a gender role as the woman.
Nobody's pride should be damaged if his or her date wants to pay for his or her own portion of the meal.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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7/19/2012 9:45:39 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:36:14 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
LOL, if someone's pride is hurt because a girl paid for her food, he's obviously not a good person to be with . . .

I agree. By the way, I happen to know this fantastic restaurant, it's got three Michelin stars and the food is sublime, Royal P, I think you'd really enjoy it there and I have been eager to meet you for a long time...the only thing is, the restaurant is very expensive but, we deserve the best, don't we?

Anyway, shall we say Saturday night? Don't forget to bring your credit card.
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inferno
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7/19/2012 9:46:17 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.

Anyone who has little to no real substantial experience about the opposite sex shouldnt be such an assumptionist. Transparency is the deal with you
Royale. Must you wear your opinions and emotions on your sleeve so much
in front of people.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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7/19/2012 9:50:09 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I believe the guy should pay and always offer to pay, but if she says "i got it" I'd be blown away, kudos to that, that really says a lot to me (unless she does it as some dumb feminist gesture, then smh). And I'd let her pay (arguing over who pays is senseless).
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
royalpaladin
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7/19/2012 9:51:29 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:45:39 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:36:14 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
LOL, if someone's pride is hurt because a girl paid for her food, he's obviously not a good person to be with . . .

I agree. By the way, I happen to know this fantastic restaurant, it's got three Michelin stars and the food is sublime, Royal P, I think you'd really enjoy it there and I have been eager to meet you for a long time...the only thing is, the restaurant is very expensive but, we deserve the best, don't we?

Anyway, shall we say Saturday night? Don't forget to bring your credit card.

LOL, no thanks. I don't have money, you live across the ocean, and you're much older than I am.
royalpaladin
Posts: 22,357
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7/19/2012 9:53:04 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:46:17 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.

Anyone who has little to no real substantial experience about the opposite sex shouldnt be such an assumptionist.
Oh, so that's why you're not an assumptionist!
Transparency is the deal with you
Royale. Must you wear your opinions and emotions on your sleeve so much
in front of people.
Do you ever have anything productive or nice to say?
inferno
Posts: 10,556
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7/19/2012 9:53:26 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:39:40 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:37:20 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
But it shouldn't come to that. He shouldn't feel that he have to pay. I am just pointing out that both genders are trapped here.
Oh, I totally agree, but I don't think that both genders are trapped.

See, the reason that they pay is insidious. They attempt to make the women feel obligated to give them something (sexual favors) in return by paying.

In addition, they attempt to establish themselves as the ones in charge. They're giving something TO her. They START the contact. They are active; the females are passive.

Of course, not every male likes this and thus feel obligated to pay, but those are the reasons that the system was created.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
Of course he should have pride. All people should take pride in themself. The great problem is that he is as much trapped in a gender role as the woman.
Nobody's pride should be damaged if his or her date wants to pay for his or her own portion of the meal.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.

This is the dialogue of a teen ager. Men pay for Women's dinner because of the social construct and as it has been said gender roles.
The ones who can and sometimes get what the desire do not go into relationships or dates always expecting sexual favors in return.
And that is because of accessibility. More on that later............
But Women also expect sexual favors in return when they are with a guy and
is every bit as open about the idea of sex.
True story. Take it from someone who knows...........
inferno
Posts: 10,556
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7/19/2012 9:55:10 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 7/19/2012 9:53:04 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:46:17 AM, inferno wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:32:27 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
At 7/19/2012 9:30:10 AM, OllerupMand wrote:
Gender roles is double headed, both genders need to agree that they should change or else it wont matter. A girl may want to pay her own tap, because that is her choice, but then what if the boy doesn't want to let her?
Too bad. I'll pay. If worst comes to worst and he pays, I'll leave the money on the table and go home.
A problem is also it is easy to get trapped. A cute boy buy you a drink. You want to talk with him. What so you do? Refusing it, that is your choice, and he will properly take it as you turn him down. Do you buy him a drink or will that hurt his pride?

Who cares? He shouldn't have that pride in the first place, and if he does, I don't want him.
That a woman have a theoretical chcsie doesn't matter if chocing alienate her from society.

Anyone who has little to no real substantial experience about the opposite sex shouldnt be such an assumptionist.
Oh, so that's why you're not an assumptionist!
Transparency is the deal with you
Royale. Must you wear your opinions and emotions on your sleeve so much
in front of people.
Do you ever have anything productive or nice to say?

Who are you to say what is or is not productive or nice.
More assumptions(dictator) coming from the Royale.
OllerupMand
Posts: 375
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7/19/2012 9:57:58 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Sorry to ask this. I am new to the forum and stuff, but how come people suddenly started these personal attacks against Royal? It just seems so completely out of context <.<