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Let's do a radical critique of cheese

YYW
Posts: 36,252
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11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause if consumed dramatic gastrointestinal complications not limited to loose and uncontrollable bowel movements, severe discomfort and nausea. Though it may have the potential to enhance foods of various kinds, such as pizza, burgers and even certain forms of cake, it is clear that the benefits of cheese are not justified by the costs.

Let's look at the stats. Like dihydrogen monoxide, 100% of all people who consume cheese will die. Like onions, 100% of all people who consume cheese risk having bad breath. Death. Bad breath. These are the implications of cheese. It must be banned.

Entire cultures have developed around the consumption of cheese. France, for example, has been the bane of mankind -and by mankind I mean anglo saxons- since the beginning of time. Clearly cheese must have played a role. The French are a worthless people. Having the french as an ally in a war is like hunting with an accordion. Cheese must have made France this way. It is empirically worthless. You may think it's harmless, but there is much danger to this dairy product.
Tsar of DDO
Nur-Ab-Sal
Posts: 1,637
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11/29/2012 1:41:53 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I think it's time we rebel against this caseic villainy.

Yes, I wrote this post just to use the word "caseic."
Genesis I. And God created man to his own image: to the image of God he created him: male and female he created them.
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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11/29/2012 1:45:05 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:41:53 AM, Nur-Ab-Sal wrote:
I think it's time we rebel against this caseic villainy.

Yes, I wrote this post just to use the word "caseic."

Though inherent to our culture, we must move beyond the old way. It is emblematic of bourgeoisie oppression of other dairy products too. Yogurts of the world UNITE!
Tsar of DDO
charleslb
Posts: 4,740
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11/29/2012 1:49:47 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause ...

Hmm, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but mediocre mockery is merely spiteful, and, well, mediocre.
Yo, all of my subliterate conservative criticasters who find perusing and processing the sesquipedalian verbiage of my posts to be such a bothersome brain-taxing chore, I have a new nickname for you. Henceforth you shall be known as Pooh Bears. No, not for the obvious apt reasons, i.e., not because you're full of pooh, and not because of your ursine irritability. Rather, you put me in mind of an A.A. Milne quote, "I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me". Love ya, Pooh Bears.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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11/29/2012 1:50:15 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
Let us eat all the cheese so there is no left!
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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11/29/2012 1:52:27 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:49:47 AM, charleslb wrote:
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause ...

Hmm, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but mediocre mockery is merely spiteful, and, well, mediocre.

Well, mediocre was what I was going for. Just as you embody intellectual mediocrity, so too does my little gifle follow in level of humor. To do otherwise wouldn't be fitting, naturally.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
Posts: 36,252
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11/29/2012 1:53:35 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:50:15 AM, bossyburrito wrote:
Let us eat all the cheese so there is no left!

And we'll rase the dairy's too!
Tsar of DDO
MouthWash
Posts: 2,607
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11/29/2012 3:12:21 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:49:47 AM, charleslb wrote:
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause ...

Hmm, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but mediocre mockery is merely spiteful, and, well, mediocre.

I'd say it was a very good imitation. Almost as good as the real thing (except it should have been long enough to cause everyone reading it to lose interest).
"Well, that gives whole new meaning to my assassination. If I was going to die anyway, perhaps I should leave the Bolsheviks' descendants some Christmas cookies instead of breaking their dishes and vodka bottles in their sleep." -Tsar Nicholas II (YYW)
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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11/29/2012 7:07:33 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 1:49:47 AM, charleslb wrote:
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause ...

Hmm, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but mediocre mockery is merely spiteful, and, well, mediocre.

Do you have anything else to contribute that is on topic?
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Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

"Cases are anti-town." - FourTrouble

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YYW
Posts: 36,252
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11/29/2012 10:36:47 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 11/29/2012 7:07:33 AM, OberHerr wrote:
At 11/29/2012 1:49:47 AM, charleslb wrote:
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause ...

Hmm, imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but mediocre mockery is merely spiteful, and, well, mediocre.

Do you have anything else to contribute that is on topic?

I'm sure future bullsh!t will follow. Why? Because that seems to be at once the beginning and end of what is within the capacity of this user to proffer.
Tsar of DDO
debate_power
Posts: 726
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12/11/2014 4:27:43 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 11/29/2012 1:36:34 AM, YYW wrote:
When left in a humid environment unprotected for more than three weeks it may cause if consumed dramatic gastrointestinal complications not limited to loose and uncontrollable bowel movements, severe discomfort and nausea. Though it may have the potential to enhance foods of various kinds, such as pizza, burgers and even certain forms of cake, it is clear that the benefits of cheese are not justified by the costs.

Let's look at the stats. Like dihydrogen monoxide, 100% of all people who consume cheese will die. Like onions, 100% of all people who consume cheese risk having bad breath. Death. Bad breath. These are the implications of cheese. It must be banned.

Entire cultures have developed around the consumption of cheese. France, for example, has been the bane of mankind -and by mankind I mean anglo saxons- since the beginning of time. Clearly cheese must have played a role. The French are a worthless people. Having the french as an ally in a war is like hunting with an accordion. Cheese must have made France this way. It is empirically worthless. You may think it's harmless, but there is much danger to this dairy product.

Plus, you can be killed by cheese if you fall into a cheese-production vat and drown. It's too dangerous.
You can call me Mark if you like.