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"Nice Guys Finish Last"

tulle
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3/21/2013 9:26:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Time to dispel the myth that girls want "@ssholes" or that "nice guys finish last". Being an @sshole might work if your goal is to sleep with a ton of women, but in that case, you're not really a "nice guy", are you?
yang.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/21/2013 9:30:27 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
On a similar note, for all those nice guys out there that aren't getting any, being "friendzoned" isn't necessarily a bad thing.
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OberHerr
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3/21/2013 9:44:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Relevant>>>
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Maikuru
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3/21/2013 9:59:02 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 9:26:02 PM, tulle wrote:

Time to dispel the myth that girls want "@ssholes" or that "nice guys finish last". Being an @sshole might work if your goal is to sleep with a ton of women, but in that case, you're not really a "nice guy", are you?

You seem to be saying that girls do, in fact, want asssholes. That is, unless you mean that asssholes are more skilled than nice guys at portraying themselves as "nice."
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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tulle
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3/21/2013 10:07:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 9:59:02 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 9:26:02 PM, tulle wrote:

Time to dispel the myth that girls want "@ssholes" or that "nice guys finish last". Being an @sshole might work if your goal is to sleep with a ton of women, but in that case, you're not really a "nice guy", are you?

You seem to be saying that girls do, in fact, want asssholes. That is, unless you mean that asssholes are more skilled than nice guys at portraying themselves as "nice."

I don't think girls want @ssholes but being a jerk works to get certain kinds of girls to sleep with you I guess. And by that time, do you really want her? It's not conducive for a meaningful relationship. In short, there are girls out there who will fall for the whole player routine obviously, but I don't think that means they want an @sshole.
yang.
Maikuru
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3/21/2013 10:10:55 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:07:43 PM, tulle wrote:
At 3/21/2013 9:59:02 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 9:26:02 PM, tulle wrote:

Time to dispel the myth that girls want "@ssholes" or that "nice guys finish last". Being an @sshole might work if your goal is to sleep with a ton of women, but in that case, you're not really a "nice guy", are you?

You seem to be saying that girls do, in fact, want asssholes. That is, unless you mean that asssholes are more skilled than nice guys at portraying themselves as "nice."

I don't think girls want @ssholes but being a jerk works to get certain kinds of girls to sleep with you I guess. And by that time, do you really want her? It's not conducive for a meaningful relationship. In short, there are girls out there who will fall for the whole player routine obviously, but I don't think that means they want an @sshole.

So, essentially, girls don't "want" asssholes but often fall for the routine. In which case, would you find it conducive for non-asssholes to act as such at first, only to "change" later at her behest? That satisfies both conditions, doesn't it: the girl gets to change the man and the guy gets...well, the girl.

What's a little deceptive behavior portrayals between friends?
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RyuuKyuzo
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3/21/2013 10:14:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Girls don't want "asssholes" per say, they want socially dominant men, it's just the case that socially dominant men tend to come off as asssholes.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
RyuuKyuzo
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3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 9:30:27 PM, Maikuru wrote:
On a similar note, for all those nice guys out there that aren't getting any, being "friendzoned" isn't necessarily a bad thing.



What is this "friendzone" you speak of?
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
Maikuru
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3/21/2013 10:19:15 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 3/21/2013 9:30:27 PM, Maikuru wrote:
On a similar note, for all those nice guys out there that aren't getting any, being "friendzoned" isn't necessarily a bad thing.



What is this "friendzone" you speak of?

It's the place guys who don't look like you often find themselves in =D

All of my girlfriends have started off as friends, so I tend to agree that the "friendzone" is a myth. However, as Danielle eloquently pointed out to me in a previous thread, it was likely that those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship with me in the first place.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Maikuru
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3/21/2013 10:21:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:14:48 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
Girls don't want "asssholes" per say, they want socially dominant men, it's just the case that socially dominant men tend to come off as asssholes.

This is right on point. Also, as F-16 pointed out, "nice guys" tend to just be those men who, in recognizing their interest in someone, make themselves available. Those same guys can easily come off as asssholes toward women they are not interested in.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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tulle
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3/21/2013 10:23:19 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:10:55 PM, Maikuru wrote:

So, essentially, girls don't "want" asssholes but often fall for the routine. In which case, would you find it conducive for non-asssholes to act as such at first, only to "change" later at her behest? That satisfies both conditions, doesn't it: the girl gets to change the man and the guy gets...well, the girl.

What's a little deceptive behavior portrayals between friends?

Hahaha :p I can see a whole bunch of other problems that would arise in that situation though. I'm not a fan of deception at all... like I said, by the time you "get" the girl by being an @sshole, do you really want someone like that? If I were a guy in that situation I'd always be concerned with the thought of her looking for her next challenge. It's kind of unfair to both of you to treat her like garbage just to get her :/ And as the guy in the video I posted said, looking at girls as a prize to be won or gotten is the wrong idea in the first place :p
yang.
tulle
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3/21/2013 10:24:45 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:19:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

What is this "friendzone" you speak of?

It's the place guys who don't look like you often find themselves in =D

All of my girlfriends have started off as friends, so I tend to agree that the "friendzone" is a myth. However, as Danielle eloquently pointed out to me in a previous thread, it was likely that those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship with me in the first place.

I did :/ LOL
yang.
Oryus
Posts: 8,280
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3/21/2013 10:33:51 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
This guy is awesome.

Thank you, nice gentleman from youtube.
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
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: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
Maikuru
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3/21/2013 10:34:08 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:24:45 PM, tulle wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:19:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

What is this "friendzone" you speak of?

It's the place guys who don't look like you often find themselves in =D

All of my girlfriends have started off as friends, so I tend to agree that the "friendzone" is a myth. However, as Danielle eloquently pointed out to me in a previous thread, it was likely that those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship with me in the first place.

I did :/ LOL

I don't think so!

I should have clarified. Those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship based on incompatibility. You get a pass for us being in different countries at the time =)
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Oryus
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3/21/2013 10:35:23 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:34:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:24:45 PM, tulle wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:19:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

What is this "friendzone" you speak of?

It's the place guys who don't look like you often find themselves in =D

All of my girlfriends have started off as friends, so I tend to agree that the "friendzone" is a myth. However, as Danielle eloquently pointed out to me in a previous thread, it was likely that those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship with me in the first place.

I did :/ LOL

I don't think so!

I should have clarified. Those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship based on incompatibility. You get a pass for us being in different countries at the time =)

Kind of a big aspect to consider lol
: : :Tulle: The fool, I purposely don't engage with you because you don't have proper command of the English language.
: :
: : The Fool: It's my English writing. Either way It's okay have a larger vocabulary then you, and a better grasp of language, and you're a woman.
:
: I'm just going to leave this precious struggle nugget right here.
RyuuKyuzo
Posts: 3,074
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3/21/2013 10:36:06 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:19:15 PM, Maikuru wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:15:12 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:
At 3/21/2013 9:30:27 PM, Maikuru wrote:
On a similar note, for all those nice guys out there that aren't getting any, being "friendzoned" isn't necessarily a bad thing.



What is this "friendzone" you speak of?

It's the place guys who don't look like you often find themselves in =D

All of my girlfriends have started off as friends, so I tend to agree that the "friendzone" is a myth. However, as Danielle eloquently pointed out to me in a previous thread, it was likely that those girls never cast out the possibility of a relationship with me in the first place.

My current girlfriend started out as my friend.

Although I guess that doesn't count because she wanted a relationship during those first 3 years before we started dating... so I guess you could say I "friendzoned" her XD

Either way I guess this shows that, as you've said, the "friendzone" isn't the death-sentence it's made out to be.
If you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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3/21/2013 10:42:59 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:36:06 PM, RyuuKyuzo wrote:

Either way I guess this shows that, as you've said, the "friendzone" isn't the death-sentence it's made out to be.

Ding ding ding!
yang.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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3/21/2013 10:46:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 10:23:19 PM, tulle wrote:
At 3/21/2013 10:10:55 PM, Maikuru wrote:

So, essentially, girls don't "want" asssholes but often fall for the routine. In which case, would you find it conducive for non-asssholes to act as such at first, only to "change" later at her behest? That satisfies both conditions, doesn't it: the girl gets to change the man and the guy gets...well, the girl.

What's a little deceptive behavior portrayals between friends?

Hahaha :p I can see a whole bunch of other problems that would arise in that situation though. I'm not a fan of deception at all... like I said, by the time you "get" the girl by being an @sshole, do you really want someone like that? If I were a guy in that situation I'd always be concerned with the thought of her looking for her next challenge. It's kind of unfair to both of you to treat her like garbage just to get her :/ And as the guy in the video I posted said, looking at girls as a prize to be won or gotten is the wrong idea in the first place :p

lol you're right, of course. I was playing devil's advocate. There's nothing okay with knowingly presenting a false self in an effort to obtain a mate.

Although, literally as I type this, I'm reminded of make-up and body-adjusting garments and the billions of dollars humans pay annually to do just that =P
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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3/21/2013 11:32:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 9:39:54 PM, F-16_Fighting_Falcon wrote:
Maikuru's video was very informative. Research does suggest that the "friend-zone" is not caused by being "nice" but rather being too easy to get.

I didn't watch the video, but the implication here is that the woman then wouldn't want me unless she couldn't have me. So after realizing this, why would I possibly want such a shallow woman?
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
johnnyboy54
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3/21/2013 11:48:43 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
And of course the nice guys finish last. The gentlemanly thing to do is make sure your partner finishes first.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
tulle
Posts: 4,445
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3/21/2013 11:51:34 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 11:48:43 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
And of course the nice guys finish last. The gentlemanly thing to do is make sure your partner finishes first.

LOL
yang.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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3/21/2013 11:56:42 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Why are you making generalizations based solely on gender?
#UnbanTheMadman

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Wallstreetatheist
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3/22/2013 2:42:33 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/21/2013 11:48:43 PM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
And of course the nice guys finish last. The gentlemanly thing to do is make sure your partner finishes first.

True story. *clink champagne glasses*
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FREEDO
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3/22/2013 2:44:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I just read the other day that studies show men who express "feminist attitudes", on average, have more sex than men who don't.
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johnnyboy54
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3/22/2013 2:51:19 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/22/2013 2:44:11 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I just read the other day that studies show men who express "feminist attitudes", on average, have more sex than men who don't.

Can't be true. I express feminist attitudes and I can't get laid.
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Buddamoose
Posts: 19,448
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3/22/2013 3:11:44 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Interesting thread. You know, i've always held the best way out of the "friendzone" is to just not do anything at all to get yourself out. If its gonna happen, its gonna happen. If not, at least you've made a friend, and thats a good thing in and of itself.

Either way, my own reaction when hearing the line, "i think we should just be friends" is to go, "sounds cool. I think I'll call you later. We'll have a drink, definitely. But i actually have t-"

*sees pretty girl*

"Sorry gotta go!"
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
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Buddamoose
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3/22/2013 3:14:49 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/22/2013 2:51:19 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
At 3/22/2013 2:44:11 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I just read the other day that studies show men who express "feminist attitudes", on average, have more sex than men who don't.

Can't be true. I express feminist attitudes and I can't get laid.

Well its an average, that means theres gotta be people out there that dont have sex more often right? Besides, I'm about 99.9% sure ur joking. My estimation is you have no problems at all with women.
"Reality is an illusion created due to a lack of alcohol"
-Airmax1227

"You were the moon all this time, and he was always there to make you shine."

"Was he the sun?"

"No honey, he was the darkness"

-Kazekirion
johnnyboy54
Posts: 6,362
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3/22/2013 3:17:31 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/22/2013 3:14:49 AM, Buddamoose wrote:
At 3/22/2013 2:51:19 AM, johnnyboy54 wrote:
At 3/22/2013 2:44:11 AM, FREEDO wrote:
I just read the other day that studies show men who express "feminist attitudes", on average, have more sex than men who don't.

Can't be true. I express feminist attitudes and I can't get laid.

Well its an average, that means theres gotta be people out there that dont have sex more often right? Besides, I'm about 99.9% sure ur joking. My estimation is you have no problems at all with women.

Have you seen my face?
I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.