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Why feel pain at funerals?

Thanatos1983
Posts: 23
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12/23/2013 7:14:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I've given this question a great deal of thought and now I would like to put it to my new-found family. Why? We created the concept of the afterlife, of heaven and reincarnation, so why shed tears for those of us who die, at any age?

My answer to the question is there is no need to suffer, to feel sadness. Our friends and loved ones either go to a better place, or they are reborn as something else. I've always believed this and always will.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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12/23/2013 9:26:22 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
1. Loss still hurts, regardless.
2.
a. There is no guarantee that you and them are both going to reunited in the afterlife. You may be going to heaven, but will your friend and/or loved ones?
b. If they are reincarnated, you will still never see them again as they were. They are lost to you forever.
My work here is, finally, done.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/23/2013 9:35:47 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Have you ever been to a funeral? Kind of hard to rationalize away the sheer flood of emotion.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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12/23/2013 9:44:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I don't believe in any kind of afterlife, so funerals are serious bummers.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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12/23/2013 9:46:36 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I remember after my friend died, a coworker came up to me with a smile on his face and said "She's an angel now." Thanks?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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12/23/2013 10:11:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 9:46:36 AM, Maikuru wrote:
I remember after my friend died, a coworker came up to me with a smile on his face and said "She's an angel now." Thanks?

It's not his fault you're a heathen ;)
He offered his condolensces and tried to make you feel better. Even if it means nothing to you, you can take the gesture to heart.
My work here is, finally, done.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/23/2013 10:30:06 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:11:15 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:46:36 AM, Maikuru wrote:
I remember after my friend died, a coworker came up to me with a smile on his face and said "She's an angel now." Thanks?

It's not his fault you're a heathen ;)
He offered his condolensces and tried to make you feel better. Even if it means nothing to you, you can take the gesture to heart.

Don't worry, he's eating purple on wood lake through the diagrams.

Sincerity doesn't cancel out the perceived incoherence of what is said.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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12/23/2013 10:35:41 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:30:06 AM, Noumena wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:11:15 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:46:36 AM, Maikuru wrote:
I remember after my friend died, a coworker came up to me with a smile on his face and said "She's an angel now." Thanks?

It's not his fault you're a heathen ;)
He offered his condolensces and tried to make you feel better. Even if it means nothing to you, you can take the gesture to heart.

Don't worry, he's eating purple on wood lake through the diagrams.
Took me a moment to realize what this meant. LOL

Sincerity doesn't cancel out the perceived incoherence of what is said.

I disagree, both in cancelling out, and the incoherence.
It wasn't incoherent, it is illogical or whatever. You, and he, knew what and why it was said. That doesn't make it incoherent, just ineffective.

If my agoraphobic sister come outside to see me off as I pull away from the house in my moving van, is that a meaningless gesture? Should I not feel touched by her actions, since it is "incoherent" that she is afraid of being outside?
My work here is, finally, done.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/23/2013 10:50:12 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:35:41 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:30:06 AM, Noumena wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:11:15 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:46:36 AM, Maikuru wrote:
I remember after my friend died, a coworker came up to me with a smile on his face and said "She's an angel now." Thanks?

It's not his fault you're a heathen ;)
He offered his condolensces and tried to make you feel better. Even if it means nothing to you, you can take the gesture to heart.

Don't worry, he's eating purple on wood lake through the diagrams.
Took me a moment to realize what this meant. LOL

Sincerity doesn't cancel out the perceived incoherence of what is said.

I disagree, both in cancelling out, and the incoherence.
It wasn't incoherent, it is illogical or whatever. You, and he, knew what and why it was said. That doesn't make it incoherent, just ineffective

I disagree but I suppose that's a side-dispute.

If my agoraphobic sister come outside to see me off as I pull away from the house in my moving van, is that a meaningless gesture? Should I not feel touched by her actions, since it is "incoherent" that she is afraid of being outside?

No one leaves their comfort zone by repeating religious beliefs.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 11:06:57 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Rather than sad, I got very, very angry. The priest even skipped me for communion I was radiating such hate, which is pretty funny in hindsight. I was kind of a spectacle, I think, an attraction, the genius now knowing the death of his own. I was to read a prayer and I don't think I've ever injected more venom into anything I've spoken as in doing so. Whispers. The alcoholic undertaker leaned against the fire in the bar after and laughed at his own misery, I to share it with him from then on. My neighbour sang a song of the possibility that my grandfather had gone to Hell and I brightened. To laugh in the face of the cruelty of it all.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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12/23/2013 11:18:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:50:12 AM, Noumena wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:35:41 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:


If my agoraphobic sister come outside to see me off as I pull away from the house in my moving van, is that a meaningless gesture? Should I not feel touched by her actions, since it is "incoherent" that she is afraid of being outside?

No one leaves their comfort zone by repeating religious beliefs.

That's not the issue.
The issue is whether I should be touched by my sister's actions (all she did was see me off, so what?), since they make no sense to me. If so, what is the difference between someone offering comfort in a way that would comfort them? The sincerity of the gesture should be comforting in of itself, even if the advice was ineffective.

It's bad communication to not know your audience, but, then again, I don't know many people at funerals, anyway.

By your standard, if I am feeling down about something, and you try to offer help, but use fishing metaphors which I don't understand as advice, should I walk away thinking you don't care about me?
Or should I be comforted in your attempt, even though it was ineffective?
My work here is, finally, done.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 11:36:13 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
It's a year later now and my grandmother is threatening death. I have a sort of morbid humour about me, I guess. I'm not sure what to say --maybe I'll get worse. I've found that a mark of the brokenhearted --excessive cheeriness, childishness. I'm thinking of those who have lost children, though. I know a girl who lost her brother too; cut her hair short and defied god with every boy around. These are denials quite painful to behold. Who knows? I might just end up a drunk yet, all of us so filled with death. F*ck poetry.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 11:51:08 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
It's to revert back to a childlike state, to lose someone and act like that. I've only just realised it. It's fear or sadness like nothing else known, only that long-forgotten primordial, satisfied then by mimicry --I am a being such as these. And then death, and that old pain comes rushing back, to be dealt with only as before. Death to show us how silly we were in the beginning. To laugh at our efforts. Sad, sad clowns.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 11:59:52 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Spiderman, a dark magician, a troll and a homosexual in a thread, I wish I was f*cking dead lol
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 12:16:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Has anyone else noticed that triangle sandwiches are the nicest ones? Thinks it's because there's more control in their making? I mean, there are plenty of squares naturally occurring --radiators, for example.
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 12:26:54 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Imagine eating triangle sandwiches in the Sydney Opera House. Whoa. Adding that to the bucket list.
ironmaiden
Posts: 456
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12/23/2013 7:01:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 11:59:52 AM, AnDoctuir wrote:
Spiderman, a dark magician, a troll and a homosexual in a thread, I wish I was f*cking dead lol

And a fuckin dipshit. I wish you were dead, too, you're annoying as sh!t.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that his is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question. 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
ironmaiden
Posts: 456
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12/23/2013 7:03:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 7:14:05 AM, Thanatos1983 wrote:
I've given this question a great deal of thought and now I would like to put it to my new-found family. Why? We created the concept of the afterlife, of heaven and reincarnation, so why shed tears for those of us who die, at any age?

My answer to the question is there is no need to suffer, to feel sadness. Our friends and loved ones either go to a better place, or they are reborn as something else. I've always believed this and always will.

The last funeral I was at wasn't really a funeral. It was more of a celebration of his life. It was wad, but it was also fun, and there was a lot of food.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that his is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question. 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
DetectableNinja
Posts: 6,043
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12/23/2013 7:07:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I mean, grief is a pretty innate and like, inevitable thing when it comes to humans. I'd say it's so deep such that you can't just reason it away.
Think'st thou heaven is such a glorious thing?
I tell thee, 'tis not half so fair as thou
Or any man that breathes on earth.

- Christopher Marlowe, Doctor Faustus
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
AnDoctuir
Posts: 11,060
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12/23/2013 10:35:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 7:01:41 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 11:59:52 AM, AnDoctuir wrote:
Spiderman, a dark magician, a troll and a homosexual in a thread, I wish I was f*cking dead lol

And a fuckin dipshit. I wish you were dead, too, you're annoying as sh!t.

Cry more retard.
ironmaiden
Posts: 456
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12/23/2013 10:54:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM, sadolite wrote:
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!

Dude, that's what I've always wanted for my funeral. Instead of everybody crying like babies, just freakin celebrate! Don't even bother spending money on burying me, just throw me in the freakin dumpster!
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that his is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question. 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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12/23/2013 10:59:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:54:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM, sadolite wrote:
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!

Dude, that's what I've always wanted for my funeral. Instead of everybody crying like babies, just freakin celebrate! Don't even bother spending money on burying me, just throw me in the freakin dumpster!

Actually I want my body to be made into one of those educational skeletons they have in schools. And I know this sounds sick, but once and for all settle the argument of what human flesh tastes like under scientific a setting. I am sure there will be no shortage of test subjects. But strictly all in the name of science. Inquiring minds want to know.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
ironmaiden
Posts: 456
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12/23/2013 11:04:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 10:59:28 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:54:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM, sadolite wrote:
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!

Dude, that's what I've always wanted for my funeral. Instead of everybody crying like babies, just freakin celebrate! Don't even bother spending money on burying me, just throw me in the freakin dumpster!

Actually I want my body to be made into one of those educational skeletons they have in schools. And I know this sounds sick, but once and for all settle the argument of what human flesh tastes like under scientific a setting. I am sure there will be no shortage of test subjects. But strictly all in the name of science. Inquiring minds want to know.

Ah, yes, that's genius. But I don't think any scientist will volunteer for the taste test. Nevertheless, that's pretty smart. I want me to be put to good use once I'm a carcass.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that his is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question. 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
sadolite
Posts: 8,838
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12/23/2013 11:07:09 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 11:04:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:59:28 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:54:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM, sadolite wrote:
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!

Dude, that's what I've always wanted for my funeral. Instead of everybody crying like babies, just freakin celebrate! Don't even bother spending money on burying me, just throw me in the freakin dumpster!

Actually I want my body to be made into one of those educational skeletons they have in schools. And I know this sounds sick, but once and for all settle the argument of what human flesh tastes like under scientific a setting. I am sure there will be no shortage of test subjects. But strictly all in the name of science. Inquiring minds want to know.

Ah, yes, that's genius. But I don't think any scientist will volunteer for the taste test. Nevertheless, that's pretty smart. I want me to be put to good use once I'm a carcass.

Science will do anything in the name of science
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
ironmaiden
Posts: 456
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12/23/2013 11:10:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/23/2013 11:07:09 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/23/2013 11:04:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:59:28 PM, sadolite wrote:
At 12/23/2013 10:54:18 PM, ironmaiden wrote:
At 12/23/2013 9:14:57 PM, sadolite wrote:
I want my funeral to be a great galactic kegger and have all who knew me roast the crap out of me. My flaws are way more interesting. "He was a good man" BOOORING! Who isn't when they are dead. "He was an uncompromising ahole," Now we are talking!! Now I will be remembered!!

Dude, that's what I've always wanted for my funeral. Instead of everybody crying like babies, just freakin celebrate! Don't even bother spending money on burying me, just throw me in the freakin dumpster!

Actually I want my body to be made into one of those educational skeletons they have in schools. And I know this sounds sick, but once and for all settle the argument of what human flesh tastes like under scientific a setting. I am sure there will be no shortage of test subjects. But strictly all in the name of science. Inquiring minds want to know.

Ah, yes, that's genius. But I don't think any scientist will volunteer for the taste test. Nevertheless, that's pretty smart. I want me to be put to good use once I'm a carcass.

Science will do anything in the name of science

Very true.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being that his is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question. 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"