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Ashley Madison

Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/14/2010 5:35:45 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
AshleyMadison.com is a website for married or attached people to essentially find other married or attached people to cheat on their partners with. Their ads are racy and controversial, because the site itself is controversial. My ex's mother actually used this site very often... ugh. The founder appeared on TV talk show "The View" and got skewered by the hosts and audiences alike. Essentially this man is despised because of his product. However, although I despise cheating, I obviously can defend his product (and not because I'm on some libertarian moral crusade).

If someone is using this website, it's because they're keeping their affair a secret which is essentially screwing over their partner. It's incredibly disrespectful, because obviously fidelity and trust are important values to at least one person in the relationship (if secrecy is essential). However if one is going to cheat, then presumably they'd do it with or without the help of this website. Many people hook up with others on Singles sites even though they're attached. This is indeed a way for people in the same position to have a mutual understanding of the situation and expectations.

I don't condone cheating, but I understand the reality that there is a market for this type of product and kudos to this guy for tapping in on it. However, if MY partner used this site to cheat on me, I might have a different feeling about it entirely. Yes, the individual is to blame - but this certainly helps and makes the action a whole lot easier and more convenient (as well as desensitizes society to infidelity)... but I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing. Thoughts?
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Xer
Posts: 7,776
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1/14/2010 5:38:59 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I think it's a pretty genius business idea. 'Tis also one of the best marketing strategies I've ever seen for such a controversial business. I don't have much an opinion on it besides that. If you're spouse isn't putting out, then supplementary assistance is sometimes necessary.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/14/2010 5:44:27 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/14/2010 5:38:59 PM, Nags wrote:
I think it's a pretty genius business idea. 'Tis also one of the best marketing strategies I've ever seen for such a controversial business. I don't have much an opinion on it besides that. If you're spouse isn't putting out, then supplementary assistance is sometimes necessary.

I agree for the most part... I mean essentially, it's not like there's a legitimate reason to put this guy out of business (since he's not doing anything illegal as they take a lot of precaution to make sure it doesn't turn into a prostitution type of thing) but I'm speaking more from a moral standpoint, I guess. Do you think this is on balance morally acceptable because it gives people options and preserves privacy, all while having people be up front with each other (ie. I'm in a relationship and just want sex)

-- OR --

Do you think it's kind of immoral to set up this type of business where it encourages dishonesty, promiscuity and essentially lying to your marriage partner and backing out on vows? Remember that cheating doesn't only effect marital relationships but kids and family relationships too (which may or may not affect your opinion). I'm aware that a lot of people here are RA RA INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM RA RA but from a general standpoint, do you think this type of moral behavior is healthy for society and/or relationships overall? It's just as much about honesty, trust and respect as it is about the sex.
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Puck
Posts: 6,457
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1/14/2010 5:53:06 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/14/2010 5:44:27 PM, theLwerd wrote:

Do you think it's kind of immoral to set up this type of business where it encourages dishonesty, promiscuity and essentially lying to your marriage partner and backing out on vows? Remember that cheating doesn't only effect marital relationships but kids and family relationships too (which may or may not affect your opinion). I'm aware that a lot of people here are RA RA INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM RA RA but from a general standpoint, do you think this type of moral behavior is healthy for society and/or relationships overall? It's just as much about honesty, trust and respect as it is about the sex.

I don't think it will suddenly implant ideas and skew a moral compass outside of what a person already has. Cheating occurs, it occurred far prior to this business enterprise.

I find it more condemning that people in relationships where it is such where cheating is a valid mindset, are not honest to the partner, than the actual act itself, which is a conclusion of a particular mindset. If your relationship is crap, deal with it. If you are in a relationship just to be in a relationship, you fail to recognise and deal with dissonance etc., then again, just as damning as the cheating that may occur from such.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/14/2010 5:56:12 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
The owner was also blasted on Tyra (don't worry about why I was watching Tyra), with husbands physically threatening him for supposedly ruining their marrages. At first glance, the entire concept seems disgusting and the fact that someone is actually profiting from it makes it all the worse.

Still, I'm of the mindset that these actions would take place regardless. While the site may increase the frequency with which individual cheaters find opportunities to fool around, that number shouldn't matter as much as the fact that they are looking to cheat. Also, the popularity of this site may make it easier to catch a lying spouse (through a little internet detective work) and possibly keep them away from more honest dating sites like match and eharmony.
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/14/2010 6:30:24 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/14/2010 5:56:12 PM, Maikuru wrote:
The owner was also blasted on Tyra (don't worry about why I was watching Tyra), with husbands physically threatening him for supposedly ruining their marrages. At first glance, the entire concept seems disgusting and the fact that someone is actually profiting from it makes it all the worse.

Still, I'm of the mindset that these actions would take place regardless. While the site may increase the frequency with which individual cheaters find opportunities to fool around, that number shouldn't matter as much as the fact that they are looking to cheat. Also, the popularity of this site may make it easier to catch a lying spouse (through a little internet detective work) and possibly keep them away from more honest dating sites like match and eharmony.

I agree with you.
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Xer
Posts: 7,776
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1/14/2010 6:40:14 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/14/2010 5:36:58 PM, theLwerd wrote:
Founder on The View

He actually did a really good job of defending himself and the site.
PoeJoe
Posts: 3,822
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1/14/2010 7:00:46 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/14/2010 6:40:14 PM, Nags wrote:
At 1/14/2010 5:36:58 PM, theLwerd wrote:
Founder on The View

He actually did a really good job of defending himself and the site.

I agree.

I'd imagine it'd be hard to keep a cool head when four pariah-shrews are nipping at your feet!
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Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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1/15/2010 9:31:26 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I think it is disgusting, if you are unhappy in a relationsip you should leave, if you fall into an affair you must decide there and then between your partners. If monogamy is not for you then you must be open and honest about it.

That said it is a genius marketing idea, especially as their exists free sites that fulfill the same purpose. He does a very good job of defending it, heck even getting out your words when confronted by four women is hard enough, and as already explained he is not doing anything illegal.
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Vi_Veri
Posts: 4,487
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1/15/2010 9:51:57 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
My belief: Cheating is morally wrong.

I think he's brilliant for finding a way to profit from stupid, desperate people, though :) It is almost as brilliant as casinos lol.
I could give a f about no haters as long as my ishes love me.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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1/15/2010 12:48:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 1/15/2010 9:51:57 AM, Vi_Veri wrote:
My belief: Cheating is morally wrong.

I think he's brilliant for finding a way to profit from stupid, desperate people, though :) It is almost as brilliant as casinos lol.

Yeah... Cheating isn't morally wrong though unless agreed upon by both partners, right? Though I guess then it wouldn't be cheating if it was an open relationship. Good point. Though that opens a lot of other questions about whether or not monogamy is moral or what monogamy means in today's society, evolution, etc.
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comoncents
Posts: 5,647
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1/15/2010 1:25:25 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Capitalism hard at work.

I love it. I would never use this site but this is the beauty of america.
And the View promoted it, great.

I love my wife and am really happy, but some people are not so they the are free to go.