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Bad Response to Cyber Bulling

donald.keller
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2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.
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Khaos_Mage
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2/16/2014 7:59:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

This is stupid.
You should kill yourself for being so stupid. :P

On a serious note:
1. If all the kids left, there would be no one left to bully. It is not wholly unreasonable to advise to leave. Plus, taking personal responsibility is always prudent. If it bothers you so much, then don't put yourself in harms way. How is this different than locking your doors, buying insurance, or boycotting a restaurant for political reasons?
2. Why is it mean? It is prudent.
Plus, we have to assume that bullying is actually bullying, and not a criminal act (assault) or teasing that the "victim" can't handle.
3. Nothing fixes what's been done. How does a prison term fix what has been done for the guy who robbed and trashed my house?

As far as cyber-bullying goes, I don't even know what that looks like. And, for one person to have that much control over another is sad, on both parties.
My work here is, finally, done.
themohawkninja
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2/16/2014 9:34:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

That's because you don't go as far as closing the laptop. You tell the child to stop going on the website that the cyberbully is on.

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.
"Morals are simply a limit to man's potential."~Myself

Political correctness is like saying you can't have a steak, because a baby can't eat one ~Unknown
donald.keller
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2/16/2014 12:36:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 9:34:17 AM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

That's because you don't go as far as closing the laptop. You tell the child to stop going on the website that the cyberbully is on.

That doesn't make the bully. The person usually knows the bully in real life. And the bully will just someone else.

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

My analogy makes perfect sense. A bully finds you in Website 1, he'll find you Website 2.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.

Which is unneeded and complete bs. Why should he have to be the one to leave? Explain, just one good reason, why reporting the person and actually ending the issue is worse?
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donald.keller
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2/16/2014 12:42:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 7:59:38 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

This is stupid.
You should kill yourself for being so stupid. :P

On a serious note:
1. If all the kids left, there would be no one left to bully. It is not wholly unreasonable to advise to leave. Plus, taking personal responsibility is always prudent. If it bothers you so much, then don't put yourself in harms way. How is this different than locking your doors, buying insurance, or boycotting a restaurant for political reasons?

That's not personal responsibility... That's leaving someone with a broken bike and saying you were responsible getting rid of it. Responsibility is reporting the person so no one should have to leave a place they love when they did nothing do.

2. Why is it mean? It is prudent.

Telling GCL that she should leave when *random User* was the one bullying her, when you could have just told the bully to leave. (just making a random scenero)

Plus, we have to assume that bullying is actually bullying, and not a criminal act (assault) or teasing that the "victim" can't handle.
3. Nothing fixes what's been done. How does a prison term fix what has been done for the guy who robbed and trashed my house?

A conclusion to an issue, and knowing it's been solved is great closure. Knowing that no one else will get bullied.

As far as cyber-bullying goes, I don't even know what that looks like. And, for one person to have that much control over another is sad, on both parties.

There simply is no reason to assume it's right, when Person A is bullying Person B, that Person B should be told to leave. Person B should report Person A, and Person A be the one to leave.
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themohawkninja
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2/16/2014 12:49:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 12:36:24 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 9:34:17 AM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

That's because you don't go as far as closing the laptop. You tell the child to stop going on the website that the cyberbully is on.

That doesn't make the bully. The person usually knows the bully in real life. And the bully will just someone else.

I don't quite know what you mean by "that doesn't make the bully" or "the bully will just someone else".

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

My analogy makes perfect sense. A bully finds you in Website 1, he'll find you Website 2.

The Internet is an absolutely huge place. The chances of a bully finding you on two different sites on the Internet is literally: (1/(the number of websites squared)). Sure he/she could find you on Facebook, but it's not all that hard to tell a child to just stop using Facebook and go on some other site, like say Debate.org. I doubt a bully will find the child there as I have already mentioned.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.

Which is unneeded and complete bs. Why should he have to be the one to leave?

For one thing, chances are that the bully is on a massive social networking site, which is unneeded and generally negative stimuli. Secondly, it is much easier to walk away from a fight than to tell the aggressor to leave. It's not utter b.s. Just take a second and imagine yourself in a situation where someone wants to fight you, what's easier: Walking away, or persuading the aggressor to walk away?

Explain, just one good reason, why reporting the person and actually ending the issue is worse?

Well, I never said it would be worse, so I don't see why you are asking this question, but I suppose if you want an answer, it would probably be found in the above paragraph where I state that walking a way from a fight is easier than making the aggressor walk away.

Secondly, admins/mods may not find fault on the part of the bully and nothing may be done on the website, especially if the bully is a moderator or admin, therefore the bully can't be 'touched' per se (unless you really want to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer just because little Johnny called you a d-bag).
"Morals are simply a limit to man's potential."~Myself

Political correctness is like saying you can't have a steak, because a baby can't eat one ~Unknown
donald.keller
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2/16/2014 1:08:22 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 12:49:39 PM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/16/2014 12:36:24 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 9:34:17 AM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

That's because you don't go as far as closing the laptop. You tell the child to stop going on the website that the cyberbully is on.

That doesn't make the bully. The person usually knows the bully in real life. And the bully will just someone else.

I don't quite know what you mean by "that doesn't make the bully" or "the bully will just someone else".

I meant that doesn't make the bully go away. And the bully will just bully someone else (assuming he does't follow you). I was distracted when writing.

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

My analogy makes perfect sense. A bully finds you in Website 1, he'll find you Website 2.

The Internet is an absolutely huge place. The chances of a bully finding you on two different sites on the Internet is literally: (1/(the number of websites squared)). Sure he/she could find you on Facebook, but it's not all that hard to tell a child to just stop using Facebook and go on some other site, like say Debate.org. I doubt a bully will find the child there as I have already mentioned.

If they know you one Website 1, they can likely find you on Website 2... Unless you're wrichcirw... Especially since they likely know you better than you're assuming. It's not hard to track down someone to websites he goes to.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.

Which is unneeded and complete bs. Why should he have to be the one to leave?

For one thing, chances are that the bully is on a massive social networking site, which is unneeded and generally negative stimuli.

And let if someone like being there, they shouldn't have to leave after doing nothing wrong.

Secondly, it is much easier to walk away from a fight than to tell the aggressor to leave. It's not utter b.s. Just take a second and imagine yourself in a situation where someone wants to fight you, what's easier: Walking away, or persuading the aggressor to walk away?

I didn't say tell them to leave... I said report them. The "You" here is everyone, the site in general.. The admin.

Explain, just one good reason, why reporting the person and actually ending the issue is worse?

Well, I never said it would be worse, so I don't see why you are asking this question, but I suppose if you want an answer, it would probably be found in the above paragraph where I state that walking a way from a fight is easier than making the aggressor walk away.

There is nothing easier on a website then clicking Report. I never once implied you'd be the telling him to leave... "...why reporting the person..."

Secondly, admins/mods may not find fault on the part of the bully and nothing may be done on the website, especially if the bully is a moderator or admin, therefore the bully can't be 'touched' per se (unless you really want to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer just because little Johnny called you a d-bag).

If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran. Odds are, they will though. You're talking about the bad reaction of 1 in a million admin. If they don't however, but you really like the site, contact everyone. The site has a lot of power to troll and report that member to hell. You should never have to leave while the bully gets off free and happy.
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themohawkninja
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2/16/2014 1:25:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 1:08:22 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 12:49:39 PM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/16/2014 12:36:24 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 9:34:17 AM, themohawkninja wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

That's because you don't go as far as closing the laptop. You tell the child to stop going on the website that the cyberbully is on.

That doesn't make the bully. The person usually knows the bully in real life. And the bully will just someone else.

I don't quite know what you mean by "that doesn't make the bully" or "the bully will just someone else".

I meant that doesn't make the bully go away. And the bully will just bully someone else (assuming he does't follow you). I was distracted when writing.

Hey, if he bully's someone else, than that's their problem. The next victim can just repeat the process and eventually one of two things will happen, either the bully will run out of victims, or he will out grow/give up on his bullying tendencies. Bullies don't bully forever you know.

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

My analogy makes perfect sense. A bully finds you in Website 1, he'll find you Website 2.

The Internet is an absolutely huge place. The chances of a bully finding you on two different sites on the Internet is literally: (1/(the number of websites squared)). Sure he/she could find you on Facebook, but it's not all that hard to tell a child to just stop using Facebook and go on some other site, like say Debate.org. I doubt a bully will find the child there as I have already mentioned.

If they know you one Website 1, they can likely find you on Website 2... Unless you're wrichcirw... Especially since they likely know you better than you're assuming. It's not hard to track down someone to websites he goes to.

Care to back that up? For one thing, if we go back to my example, Facebook and Debate.org are two very different sites on two very different niches. I highly doubt that upon a victim leaving Facebook the bully would go "Hmm... I bet he went on to Debate.org".

Secondly, tracking websites counts as hacking, which is a federal offense. If that happens, this is no longer a case of cyber-bullying, but of federal crimes.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.

Which is unneeded and complete bs. Why should he have to be the one to leave?

For one thing, chances are that the bully is on a massive social networking site, which is unneeded and generally negative stimuli.

And let if someone like being there, they shouldn't have to leave after doing nothing wrong.

No, but it might help.


Secondly, it is much easier to walk away from a fight than to tell the aggressor to leave. It's not utter b.s. Just take a second and imagine yourself in a situation where someone wants to fight you, what's easier: Walking away, or persuading the aggressor to walk away?

I didn't say tell them to leave... I said report them. The "You" here is everyone, the site in general.. The admin.

Explain, just one good reason, why reporting the person and actually ending the issue is worse?

Well, I never said it would be worse, so I don't see why you are asking this question, but I suppose if you want an answer, it would probably be found in the above paragraph where I state that walking a way from a fight is easier than making the aggressor walk away.

There is nothing easier on a website then clicking Report. I never once implied you'd be the telling him to leave... "...why reporting the person..."

Secondly, admins/mods may not find fault on the part of the bully and nothing may be done on the website, especially if the bully is a moderator or admin, therefore the bully can't be 'touched' per se (unless you really want to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer just because little Johnny called you a d-bag).

If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran. Odds are, they will though. You're talking about the bad reaction of 1 in a million admin. If they don't however, but you really like the site, contact everyone. The site has a lot of power to troll and report that member to hell. You should never have to leave while the bully gets off free and happy.

Now you are starting to understand. You said it yourself, "you should leave...".

I've also had to deal with bad mods/admins on multiple sites, so it is by far much more common than you might think. The Minecraft forums, the Kerbal Space Program forums, and I could have tried arguing with the XStoryPlayer forum admin, but I was starting to see a pattern with what happens when you argue with admins, and I would like to keep my account thank you very much.

The last thing I should probably mention is that reporting the issue doesn't automatically solve anything. Take a nice example that happened to me on DDO a while back. I had a user that kept insulting me constantly. After REPEATED reports, his account was finally banned. Within a day, that user made a new account and continued harassing me. The only reason that I can guess why he stopped is that the admins had to IP ban him. While this worked in my case, IP banning only works if the bully doesn't get a new IP, which is quite feasible.

Also, sometimes you can't even report someone on this site, because that bottom part of the site with all the links covers up the report dropbox.
"Morals are simply a limit to man's potential."~Myself

Political correctness is like saying you can't have a steak, because a baby can't eat one ~Unknown
bladerunner060
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2/16/2014 1:44:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 1:25:15 PM, themohawkninja wrote:

Also, sometimes you can't even report someone on this site, because that bottom part of the site with all the links covers up the report dropbox.

I have found that if you shrink all the text (ctrl and -), it'll eventually show up--you know what the button you're looking for looks like, so even though it's tiny, you know what to look for.
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Khaos_Mage
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2/16/2014 1:47:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 12:42:45 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 7:59:38 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

This is stupid.
You should kill yourself for being so stupid. :P

On a serious note:
1. If all the kids left, there would be no one left to bully. It is not wholly unreasonable to advise to leave. Plus, taking personal responsibility is always prudent. If it bothers you so much, then don't put yourself in harms way. How is this different than locking your doors, buying insurance, or boycotting a restaurant for political reasons?

That's not personal responsibility... That's leaving someone with a broken bike and saying you were responsible getting rid of it. Responsibility is reporting the person so no one should have to leave a place they love when they did nothing do.
No, it staying out of the neighborhood where it was jacked.
Or not taking a dare and jumping over the ridge because you can't handle peer pressure.

2. Why is it mean? It is prudent.

Telling GCL that she should leave when *random User* was the one bullying her, when you could have just told the bully to leave. (just making a random scenero)

What is wrong with not engaging the bully?
In cyberland, that is the easiest thing to do, and if everyone refrained, they would be left alone with no one but themselves to pick on.
Bullying the bully, as Caploxion did, just leave witnesses to try to figure out who the bully is, since the initial confrontation (and perhaps only once) set the stage.

Plus, we have to assume that bullying is actually bullying, and not a criminal act (assault) or teasing that the "victim" can't handle.
3. Nothing fixes what's been done. How does a prison term fix what has been done for the guy who robbed and trashed my house?

A conclusion to an issue, and knowing it's been solved is great closure. Knowing that no one else will get bullied.
Closure should ease the pain, true.

As far as cyber-bullying goes, I don't even know what that looks like. And, for one person to have that much control over another is sad, on both parties.

There simply is no reason to assume it's right, when Person A is bullying Person B, that Person B should be told to leave. Person B should report Person A, and Person A be the one to leave.
In a perfect world, yes.
However, that assumes there is no merit for Person A to pick on Person B.
Should a child molester be bullied by parents?

Most, if not all of this, depends on the definition of bullying, doesn't it?
You disagreed with me, and are arguing/finding fault with me to make me appear stupid. Stop bullying me.

If I actually believed that this constitutes bullying, then yes, personal responsibility is to just leave.
My work here is, finally, done.
donald.keller
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2/16/2014 1:47:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
That doesn't make the bully. The person usually knows the bully in real life. And the bully will just someone else.

I don't quite know what you mean by "that doesn't make the bully" or "the bully will just someone else".

I meant that doesn't make the bully go away. And the bully will just bully someone else (assuming he does't follow you). I was distracted when writing.

Hey, if he bully's someone else, than that's their problem. The next victim can just repeat the process and eventually one of two things will happen, either the bully will run out of victims, or he will out grow/give up on his bullying tendencies. Bullies don't bully forever you know.

If you 'could' have stopped it but didn't, it's their problem, but your fault. Bullies never run out of victims, You are proposing letting him run out everyone for years when you, the first person, could have just click Report.

Secondly, unlike reality, you can't just go away from a bully, so your analogy makes no sense anyways.

My analogy makes perfect sense. A bully finds you in Website 1, he'll find you Website 2.

The Internet is an absolutely huge place. The chances of a bully finding you on two different sites on the Internet is literally: (1/(the number of websites squared)). Sure he/she could find you on Facebook, but it's not all that hard to tell a child to just stop using Facebook and go on some other site, like say Debate.org. I doubt a bully will find the child there as I have already mentioned.

If they know you one Website 1, they can likely find you on Website 2... Unless you're wrichcirw... Especially since they likely know you better than you're assuming. It's not hard to track down someone to websites he goes to.

Care to back that up? For one thing, if we go back to my example, Facebook and Debate.org are two very different sites on two very different niches. I highly doubt that upon a victim leaving Facebook the bully would go "Hmm... I bet he went on to Debate.org".

The bully almost allows knows the person in real life. And having someone's Social Media file is a quick gave away. I can track almost everyone I know through their profile. Bullies aren't impersonal people from states away.

Secondly, tracking websites counts as hacking, which is a federal offense. If that happens, this is no longer a case of cyber-bullying, but of federal crimes.

I din't imply hacking to track a website. I implied using information they know about you to find out where you went. Also, Cyber bulling is already against the law.

Therefore, no, you don't tell a child to close their laptop, you tell them to stop going on the relevant site.

Which is unneeded and complete bs. Why should he have to be the one to leave?

For one thing, chances are that the bully is on a massive social networking site, which is unneeded and generally negative stimuli.

And let if someone like being there, they shouldn't have to leave after doing nothing wrong.

No, but it might help.

Hardly. I enjoy Facebook, I like the games I have there, and the few people I talk to. Instead of leaving if someone bullies me, I'm going to to do what I've been saying to do this whole time... I'm going to report him, and keep enjoying the time I spend there.


Secondly, it is much easier to walk away from a fight than to tell the aggressor to leave. It's not utter b.s. Just take a second and imagine yourself in a situation where someone wants to fight you, what's easier: Walking away, or persuading the aggressor to walk away?

I didn't say tell them to leave... I said report them. The "You" here is everyone, the site in general.. The admin.

Explain, just one good reason, why reporting the person and actually ending the issue is worse?

Well, I never said it would be worse, so I don't see why you are asking this question, but I suppose if you want an answer, it would probably be found in the above paragraph where I state that walking a way from a fight is easier than making the aggressor walk away.

There is nothing easier on a website then clicking Report. I never once implied you'd be the telling him to leave... "...why reporting the person..."

Secondly, admins/mods may not find fault on the part of the bully and nothing may be done on the website, especially if the bully is a moderator or admin, therefore the bully can't be 'touched' per se (unless you really want to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer just because little Johnny called you a d-bag).

If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran. Odds are, they will though. You're talking about the bad reaction of 1 in a million admin. If they don't however, but you really like the site, contact everyone. The site has a lot of power to troll and report that member to hell. You should never have to leave while the bully gets off free and happy.

Now you are starting to understand. You said it yourself, "you should leave...".

Don't cherry pick what I said.
"If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran."

I've also had to deal with bad mods/admins on multiple sites, so it is by far much more common than you might think. The Minecraft forums, the Kerbal Space Program forums, and I could have tried arguing with the XStoryPlayer forum admin, but I was starting to see a pattern with what happens when you argue with admins, and I would like to keep my account thank you very much.

Why would you argue with the admins? That's your own fault if you do that. But like I said at the end, get the site together.

The last thing I should probably mention is that reporting the issue doesn't automatically solve anything. Take a nice example that happened to me on DDO a while back. I had a user that kept insulting me constantly. After REPEATED reports, his account was finally banned. Within a day, that user made a new account and continued harassing me. The only reason that I can guess why he stopped is that the admins had to IP ban him. While this worked in my case, IP banning only works if the bully doesn't get a new IP, which is quite feasible.

1) Of course it takes awhile. But they do get banned.
2) Airmax can ban the IP.
Simply insulting =/= cyberbulling. I don't think you understand what is considered Cyber bullying. This is (actual) Cyberbullying: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com...

Also, sometimes you can't even report someone on this site, because that bottom part of the site with all the links covers up the report dropbox

Now you're listing off random excuses.
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donald.keller
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2/16/2014 1:56:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 1:47:05 PM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 2/16/2014 12:42:45 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 7:59:38 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

If someones being cyber bullied, instead of being told they can't enjoy what everyone gets because they aren't liked by one person, they should inform an adult.

All that response is is adding salt to a wound.

This is stupid.
You should kill yourself for being so stupid. :P

On a serious note:
1. If all the kids left, there would be no one left to bully. It is not wholly unreasonable to advise to leave. Plus, taking personal responsibility is always prudent. If it bothers you so much, then don't put yourself in harms way. How is this different than locking your doors, buying insurance, or boycotting a restaurant for political reasons?

That's not personal responsibility... That's leaving someone with a broken bike and saying you were responsible getting rid of it. Responsibility is reporting the person so no one should have to leave a place they love when they did nothing do.
No, it staying out of the neighborhood where it was jacked.

Instead of reporting it, so it happens again.. Only, assume that the person who did it knows you, and is going after all your stuff, regardless of where you go.

Or not taking a dare and jumping over the ridge because you can't handle peer pressure.

I'm not sure I understand this one.

2. Why is it mean? It is prudent.

Telling GCL that she should leave when *random User* was the one bullying her, when you could have just told the bully to leave. (just making a random scenero)

What is wrong with not engaging the bully?
In cyberland, that is the easiest thing to do, and if everyone refrained, they would be left alone with no one but themselves to pick on.
Bullying the bully, as Caploxion did, just leave witnesses to try to figure out who the bully is, since the initial confrontation (and perhaps only once) set the stage.

1) They just keep bullying then. You don't fix the issue. You basically have to leave a place you love when the other person was the bully. Adding salt to a wound. While *random User* gets off without a punishment, bullying around others, GCL has to leave everyone behind and stay inside, not enjoying recess. It's almost like punishing her for that other other user.

2) I never said confront. I want to know the exact text everyone is getting that idea from. I said report them.

Plus, we have to assume that bullying is actually bullying, and not a criminal act (assault) or teasing that the "victim" can't handle.
3. Nothing fixes what's been done. How does a prison term fix what has been done for the guy who robbed and trashed my house?

A conclusion to an issue, and knowing it's been solved is great closure. Knowing that no one else will get bullied.
Closure should ease the pain, true.

As far as cyber-bullying goes, I don't even know what that looks like. And, for one person to have that much control over another is sad, on both parties.

There simply is no reason to assume it's right, when Person A is bullying Person B, that Person B should be told to leave. Person B should report Person A, and Person A be the one to leave.
In a perfect world, yes.
However, that assumes there is no merit for Person A to pick on Person B.
Should a child molester be bullied by parents?

Most, if not all of this, depends on the definition of bullying, doesn't it?
You disagreed with me, and are arguing/finding fault with me to make me appear stupid. Stop bullying me.

If I actually believed that this constitutes bullying, then yes, personal responsibility is to just leave.

Cyberbullying has a pretty straightforward definition: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com...

But any form of real bullying (not trolling and arguing, actual bullying and harassment) shouldn't end with the Victim having to leave. Explain why Person A having to leave because Person B is harassing her is better than clicking "report"?
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themohawkninja
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2/16/2014 2:05:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 1:47:35 PM, donald.keller wrote:

I meant that doesn't make the bully go away. And the bully will just bully someone else (assuming he does't follow you). I was distracted when writing.

Hey, if he bully's someone else, than that's their problem. The next victim can just repeat the process and eventually one of two things will happen, either the bully will run out of victims, or he will out grow/give up on his bullying tendencies. Bullies don't bully forever you know.

If you 'could' have stopped it but didn't, it's their problem, but your fault. Bullies never run out of victims, You are proposing letting him run out everyone for years when you, the first person, could have just click Report.

As is stated later on, reporting isn't a surefire win, and no, it isn't my fault, nor do bullies run out of victims as I have explained.


If they know you one Website 1, they can likely find you on Website 2... Unless you're wrichcirw... Especially since they likely know you better than you're assuming. It's not hard to track down someone to websites he goes to.

Care to back that up? For one thing, if we go back to my example, Facebook and Debate.org are two very different sites on two very different niches. I highly doubt that upon a victim leaving Facebook the bully would go "Hmm... I bet he went on to Debate.org".

The bully almost allows knows the person in real life. And having someone's Social Media file is a quick gave away. I can track almost everyone I know through their profile. Bullies aren't impersonal people from states away.

That doesn't mean that they will know what site to go to. There are over 15 billion webpages. There will always be a place to go to that the the bully won't find.

Secondly, tracking websites counts as hacking, which is a federal offense. If that happens, this is no longer a case of cyber-bullying, but of federal crimes.

I din't imply hacking to track a website. I implied using information they know about you to find out where you went. Also, Cyber bulling is already against the law.

Either way, unless you provide some solid evidence, I do not see it possible to always find out where someone is on the Internet without hacking.


And let if someone like being there, they shouldn't have to leave after doing nothing wrong.

No, but it might help.

Hardly. I enjoy Facebook, I like the games I have there, and the few people I talk to. Instead of leaving if someone bullies me, I'm going to to do what I've been saying to do this whole time... I'm going to report him, and keep enjoying the time I spend there.

That is if and only if the report works. You need to remember that I am not against reporting. I encourage everyone to do it, but you must remember that it isn't a perfect solution and shouldn't be relied upon.


Secondly, it is much easier to walk away from a fight than to tell the aggressor to leave. It's not utter b.s. Just take a second and imagine yourself in a situation where someone wants to fight you, what's easier: Walking away, or persuading the aggressor to walk away?

I didn't say tell them to leave... I said report them. The "You" here is everyone, the site in general.. The admin.

There is nothing easier on a website then clicking Report. I never once implied you'd be the telling him to leave... "...why reporting the person..."

Secondly, admins/mods may not find fault on the part of the bully and nothing may be done on the website, especially if the bully is a moderator or admin, therefore the bully can't be 'touched' per se (unless you really want to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer just because little Johnny called you a d-bag).

If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran. Odds are, they will though. You're talking about the bad reaction of 1 in a million admin. If they don't however, but you really like the site, contact everyone. The site has a lot of power to troll and report that member to hell. You should never have to leave while the bully gets off free and happy.

Now you are starting to understand. You said it yourself, "you should leave...".

Don't cherry pick what I said.
"If the admin don't find fault. The site is bad, then you should leave on account of that site is poorly ran."

I've also had to deal with bad mods/admins on multiple sites, so it is by far much more common than you might think. The Minecraft forums, the Kerbal Space Program forums, and I could have tried arguing with the XStoryPlayer forum admin, but I was starting to see a pattern with what happens when you argue with admins, and I would like to keep my account thank you very much.

Why would you argue with the admins? That's your own fault if you do that. But like I said at the end, get the site together.

Why shouldn't I argue with someone? Right now you are on a site that is based around the concept of argument. If someone is wrong, I'm going to tell them that they are wrong and why. That is why you and I are talking right now, right?

The last thing I should probably mention is that reporting the issue doesn't automatically solve anything. Take a nice example that happened to me on DDO a while back. I had a user that kept insulting me constantly. After REPEATED reports, his account was finally banned. Within a day, that user made a new account and continued harassing me. The only reason that I can guess why he stopped is that the admins had to IP ban him. While this worked in my case, IP banning only works if the bully doesn't get a new IP, which is quite feasible.

1) Of course it takes awhile. But they do get banned.

Which is time that could be spent not getting insulted on some other site.

2) Airmax can ban the IP.

Which takes at least one failed ban, and IP bans aren't 100% effective either.

Simply insulting =/= cyberbulling. I don't think you understand what is considered Cyber bullying. This is (actual) Cyberbullying: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com...

Um... what you just linked me to was just an insult.


Also, sometimes you can't even report someone on this site, because that bottom part of the site with all the links covers up the report dropbox

Now you're listing off random excuses.

You wanted a reason why reporting isn't always a good thing, and I gave you one. Don't complain about an answer if you asked the question.
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Korashk
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2/16/2014 3:14:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

Close the laptop is more of a rhetorical response. In actuality, basically every website that involves interacting with people also has functionality that allows you to block specific people. People are less understanding towards victims of cyber-bullying because it's so ridiculously easy to avoid.

All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

You didn't just draw a parallel. Real-life bullying is quite different than cyber-bullying because in real life just walking away isn't actually an option.
When large numbers of otherwise-law abiding people break specific laws en masse, it's usually a fault that lies with the law. - Unknown
donald.keller
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2/16/2014 3:31:57 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 3:14:32 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

Close the laptop is more of a rhetorical response. In actuality, basically every website that involves interacting with people also has functionality that allows you to block specific people. People are less understanding towards victims of cyber-bullying because it's so ridiculously easy to avoid.

See! That's an option! Block and Report. But saying Person B is bullying Person A, so Person A should the one who has to leave just isn't right.


All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

You didn't just draw a parallel. Real-life bullying is quite different than cyber-bullying because in real life just walking away isn't actually an option.

It isn't online either. In most cyber-bullying, the person knows you in real life, or can track you down. I can track down almost everyone I know on Facebook to the other websites they go to.

There are slight differences, but the premise is the same. Telling the victim they have to leave while the bully gets to stay and have fun.
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Korashk
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2/16/2014 3:39:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 3:31:57 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:14:32 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

Close the laptop is more of a rhetorical response. In actuality, basically every website that involves interacting with people also has functionality that allows you to block specific people. People are less understanding towards victims of cyber-bullying because it's so ridiculously easy to avoid.

See! That's an option! Block and Report. But saying Person B is bullying Person A, so Person A should the one who has to leave just isn't right.


All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

You didn't just draw a parallel. Real-life bullying is quite different than cyber-bullying because in real life just walking away isn't actually an option.

It isn't online either. In most cyber-bullying, the person knows you in real life, or can track you down.

That doesn't change that the cyber-bullying part is easy to avoid.

I can track down almost everyone I know on Facebook to the other websites they go to.

It's not cyber-bullying if you start stalking them.

There are slight differences, but the premise is the same. Telling the victim they have to leave while the bully gets to stay and have fun.

I don't think that people actually mean to do this. As I stated, "close the laptop" is just bad rhetoric when the actual intent behind the statement is that victims of straight cyber-bullying have options available to them that can completely quash the interaction.
When large numbers of otherwise-law abiding people break specific laws en masse, it's usually a fault that lies with the law. - Unknown
donald.keller
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2/16/2014 3:51:12 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 3:39:55 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:31:57 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:14:32 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

Close the laptop is more of a rhetorical response. In actuality, basically every website that involves interacting with people also has functionality that allows you to block specific people. People are less understanding towards victims of cyber-bullying because it's so ridiculously easy to avoid.

See! That's an option! Block and Report. But saying Person B is bullying Person A, so Person A should the one who has to leave just isn't right.


All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

You didn't just draw a parallel. Real-life bullying is quite different than cyber-bullying because in real life just walking away isn't actually an option.

It isn't online either. In most cyber-bullying, the person knows you in real life, or can track you down.

That doesn't change that the cyber-bullying part is easy to avoid.

It is easy to avoid... Without having to be the person told to leave.

I can track down almost everyone I know on Facebook to the other websites they go to.

It's not cyber-bullying if you start stalking them.

Yes it is... It's not a black or white situation. One or the other. It can entirely be both.

There are slight differences, but the premise is the same. Telling the victim they have to leave while the bully gets to stay and have fun.

I don't think that people actually mean to do this. As I stated, "close the laptop" is just bad rhetoric when the actual intent behind the statement is that victims of straight cyber-bullying have options available to them that can completely quash the interaction.

What they tend to mean is, close your account.
http://www.tickld.com...
That Twitter post was real. I have to show you that picture because the twitter account has since deleted it's post and apologized.
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donald.keller
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2/16/2014 3:52:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 3:51:12 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:39:55 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:31:57 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 2/16/2014 3:14:32 PM, Korashk wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

Close the laptop is more of a rhetorical response. In actuality, basically every website that involves interacting with people also has functionality that allows you to block specific people. People are less understanding towards victims of cyber-bullying because it's so ridiculously easy to avoid.

See! That's an option! Block and Report. But saying Person B is bullying Person A, so Person A should the one who has to leave just isn't right.


All that is is saying this, 'Someone is bullying you on the playground? Don't tell an adult, just go inside and don't have recess instead. Don't play outside with everyone else, don't have fun... Just sit inside and live with it." 1) The bully will just keep bullying other kids and the issue won't be solved. 2) It's a mean and unreasonable response. 3) It doesn't fix what's been done.

You didn't just draw a parallel. Real-life bullying is quite different than cyber-bullying because in real life just walking away isn't actually an option.

It isn't online either. In most cyber-bullying, the person knows you in real life, or can track you down.

That doesn't change that the cyber-bullying part is easy to avoid.

It is easy to avoid... Without having to be the person told to leave.

I can track down almost everyone I know on Facebook to the other websites they go to.

It's not cyber-bullying if you start stalking them.

Yes it is... It's not a black or white situation. One or the other. It can entirely be both.

There are slight differences, but the premise is the same. Telling the victim they have to leave while the bully gets to stay and have fun.

I don't think that people actually mean to do this. As I stated, "close the laptop" is just bad rhetoric when the actual intent behind the statement is that victims of straight cyber-bullying have options available to them that can completely quash the interaction.

What they tend to mean is, close your account.
http://www.tickld.com...
That Twitter post was real. I have to show you that picture because the twitter account has since deleted it's post and apologized.

I brought up this topic up to begin with because so many people actually believe that post is the right answer to Cyber-Bullying, Instead of blocking and reporting the person.
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YYW
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2/16/2014 7:33:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

People shouldn't abuse other people online, but there is no surer way to end cyber bullying than to unplug. But, realize that your complaint misses the mark. The reason why the "unplug the laptop" solution isn't really a solution is because in the interest of alleviating cyber bullying, all online social interaction is the opportunity cost. To put this in metaphorical terms, it's a solution that throws the baby out with the bath water.
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ADreamOfLiberty
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2/17/2014 4:16:53 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 2/16/2014 7:33:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 2/15/2014 11:26:29 PM, donald.keller wrote:
When ever I hear someone say "If you're getting bullied online, close the laptop." I get pissed... It's a terrible response. Someone else is being bad, and treating you like crap, and you have to suffer and give up fun things because of it?

People shouldn't abuse other people online, but there is no surer way to end cyber bullying than to unplug.

... [letting my sig quotes of you speak for me]
LOL, yeah, it's pretty amazing how they think they can "reason" with you. - Sidewalker, speaking of advocates for sexual deviancy.

So, my advice, Liberty, is to go somewhere else. Leave, and never come back. - YYW

And that's what I did. Contact me at http://www.edeb8.com... by the same user name if you have anything you'd like to say.