Total Posts:10|Showing Posts:1-10
Jump to topic:

Why do young males lack brotherly love?

Haroush
Posts: 1,329
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/30/2014 11:05:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I figured I'd post this topic as it has caught my interest here recently. Not just from my own experience, but from what I have observed in America's society.

When I was a kid, I was what you would consider a loner. Now despite this I was sociable and did have friends of the same sex. The difference between others and I was, I didn't have no close friends.

As I grew up, I noticed I was much different from all the other boys as they seemed to be very stereotypical to me (perhaps they were). The problem was I drew a lot of unwanted attention to myself as well as a few other kids I knew. This lead to me being bullied here and there. Eventually, this became much more prevalent as I went into higher grades.

So, you would think I hold this view young males lack brotherly love just because of my personal struggles in school. Though when I look back at when I was growing up, I noticed many of the kids I knew growing up parted ways more and more as they got older.

Oddly enough the same couldn't be said when it came to the girls I knew. They seemed to stick together while the males were more separative from each other. To make matters worse, it seemed males lacked any kind of sympathy for each other. For example, I remember many of males who were friends that would screw each other over in a heart beat for their own sake or wants. Then after they would do something like start some rumor to humiliate the person or steal the guy's girlfriend they'd feel no remorse for their actions.

It's really hard for me to understand how people can be so cruel without having any kind of hardship about what they have just done. Have any of you experienced this personally or observantly?

May I also ask why it seemed the educational system was much more focused on girls than it was on boys? Of course, I am talking about from 1991 to 1997. Well, even after those years too.

I just don't see where one gender is more important than the other or why honorable men are being lead to extinction. Now maybe some of you think this idea is kind of extreme, but the society in which we are creating will inevitably make this happen.

The only way these trends can be reversed is if people stop focusing so much on women, but also focusing equally on men's issues. This means starting all the way from the bottom in elementary school.

Not to mention, parents paying more attention to their kids during their developmental years.

There is plenty more I could add to this, but I'll leave the rest for the discussion.
Bullish
Posts: 3,527
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/30/2014 11:31:33 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
So to summarize, the males you knew were sociopathic, while the females are not, and this related to the feminist (moderate degree) movement, because schools are paying more attention to girls?

Well I can say on the first issue that your sample size is too small to confined and too biased. But it is true that, biologically, men tend to have greater sex drives and other types of desires than women do. Sex causes competition while desires cause individuality. Up to 60% of women are attracted to tr same sex, according to some articles I read.

Any feminist movement in my opinion has very little sway on how males behave toward each other. Society will not change unless we take affirmative action.
0x5f3759df
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2014 10:10:03 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/30/2014 11:31:33 PM, Bullish wrote:
So to summarize, the males you knew were sociopathic, while the females are not, and this related to the feminist (moderate degree) movement, because schools are paying more attention to girls?

Well I can say on the first issue that your sample size is too small to confined and too biased. But it is true that, biologically, men tend to have greater sex drives and other types of desires than women do. Sex causes competition while desires cause individuality. Up to 60% of women are attracted to tr same sex, according to some articles I read.

Any feminist movement in my opinion has very little sway on how males behave toward each other. Society will not change unless we take affirmative action.

Well, men have higher sex drives when they are younger, but if I am not mistaken, they start losing their sex drive sometime in their early 30's. While women's sex drive peaks at around 40 years old. Sometimes, at around 44.

Despite this, this still doesn't explain why young males have hardly any boundary lines between competition and respect. Unlike with women. By the way, I noticed these things not just when I was in school, but when I was in the navy too. I am just waiting for some confirmations on what I am talking about which includes you since you agreed to a certain degree about what I said.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2014 10:54:57 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
It would help if you define friends and brotherly love.
I have noticed that "friends" is a loose term people like to throw around.
In about 2006 or so, I knew a teen girl who tried to jump off a bridge.

She was shocked that not one of her dozens of friends ever called her or came to the hospital. I wasn't. Because her friends were people she hung out with (and had sex with, and partied with, and did drugs with). There was no bond.

So, to answer your question, women stick together more likely because they are more likely to bond with others. Men are not.
Men are also more likely to be greedy and sell out another friend (i.e. screw them over), while women are not.

Keeping in mind that teenage years are difficult for teens mentally given their numerous changes, both physiologically and mentally. I, personally, switched groups of friends at least four times from 5th grade on.
I went from the people I lived near, to the people I got along with (because I could bike across town), to the NEW people I had more in common with as I discovered myself, to the NEW people I found to be part of MY group.

Why should there be love between people who burned you?
My work here is, finally, done.
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2014 12:38:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/31/2014 10:54:57 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
It would help if you define friends and brotherly love.

Well, I agree with you that friends is too general of a term. I used "brotherly love" as in the sense two male friends who actually have deep respect for each other and care for each other like brothers.

I figured this would be the best way of describing what I was trying to get my audience to understand. I will admit though, I am not the best person at helping others understand what I mean.

I have noticed that "friends" is a loose term people like to throw around.
In about 2006 or so, I knew a teen girl who tried to jump off a bridge.

She was shocked that not one of her dozens of friends ever called her or came to the hospital. I wasn't. Because her friends were people she hung out with (and had sex with, and partied with, and did drugs with). There was no bond.

That's sad. This seems to be a very similar story to many of those people who committed or attempted suicide. Have you seen the documentary "The Bridge" ? If you haven't, you ought to watch it. It makes me sad when I see these people jumping of the Golden Gate Bridge in California ONLY because they think they have no more reason to live.

So, to answer your question, women stick together more likely because they are more likely to bond with others. Men are not.
Men are also more likely to be greedy and sell out another friend (i.e. screw them over), while women are not.

but why???? It's horrible.


Keeping in mind that teenage years are difficult for teens mentally given their numerous changes, both physiologically and mentally. I, personally, switched groups of friends at least four times from 5th grade on.
I went from the people I lived near, to the people I got along with (because I could bike across town), to the NEW people I had more in common with as I discovered myself, to the NEW people I found to be part of MY group.

Why should there be love between people who burned you?
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
5/31/2014 1:09:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/31/2014 12:38:45 PM, Haroush wrote:
At 5/31/2014 10:54:57 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
It would help if you define friends and brotherly love.

Well, I agree with you that friends is too general of a term. I used "brotherly love" as in the sense two male friends who actually have deep respect for each other and care for each other like brothers.

I figured this would be the best way of describing what I was trying to get my audience to understand. I will admit though, I am not the best person at helping others understand what I mean.

Aren't you assuming that these "friends" in your anecdote were actually true friends?
You didn't share this label with them, what makes you so sure they did with others?

I have noticed that "friends" is a loose term people like to throw around.
In about 2006 or so, I knew a teen girl who tried to jump off a bridge.

She was shocked that not one of her dozens of friends ever called her or came to the hospital. I wasn't. Because her friends were people she hung out with (and had sex with, and partied with, and did drugs with). There was no bond.

That's sad. This seems to be a very similar story to many of those people who committed or attempted suicide. Have you seen the documentary "The Bridge" ? If you haven't, you ought to watch it. It makes me sad when I see these people jumping of the Golden Gate Bridge in California ONLY because they think they have no more reason to live.

Not really my point.
She had a lot of friends (or so she thought). She had a bad trip and decided to jump. Or a cry for attention. She was a drama queen.


So, to answer your question, women stick together more likely because they are more likely to bond with others. Men are not.
Men are also more likely to be greedy and sell out another friend (i.e. screw them over), while women are not.

but why???? It's horrible.
Human nature.
Aren't more men anit-social than women?
Women just seem to need to connect with others more, therefore, they do it better.
Let's generalize.
What do mean talk about? What do women talk about? Is it hard to see why women connect stronger than men?

But, again, this is all anecdote, and likely stems from school-age friends.
School age friends are likely to be lost over time, since they were largely friends by convenience. It's not like you had a choice in where you went to school, and you socialized as best you could.

As you get older become "yourself" and have more choices in friends and more life experience, you seek out better friends, and chances are, you and your school-age friends have changed enough where you are just not the same as you were and you drift apart. Think of how easy it is to lose touch with a friend who had a kid. He doesn't party with you anymore, he doesn't club, either. You are at different places.

But, it depends on how close you were to begin with.
I think this is also different depending on how many friends you had.
How close are you to your 100 friends?
How close are you to your 2 friends?
My work here is, finally, done.
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/1/2014 9:53:21 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/31/2014 1:09:34 PM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/31/2014 12:38:45 PM, Haroush wrote:
At 5/31/2014 10:54:57 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
It would help if you define friends and brotherly love.

Well, I agree with you that friends is too general of a term. I used "brotherly love" as in the sense two male friends who actually have deep respect for each other and care for each other like brothers.

I figured this would be the best way of describing what I was trying to get my audience to understand. I will admit though, I am not the best person at helping others understand what I mean.

Aren't you assuming that these "friends" in your anecdote were actually true friends?
You didn't share this label with them, what makes you so sure they did with others?

This is where you are misunderstanding me. I am saying young males lack this, meaning they tend to have either little brotherly love or none at all.


I have noticed that "friends" is a loose term people like to throw around.
In about 2006 or so, I knew a teen girl who tried to jump off a bridge.

She was shocked that not one of her dozens of friends ever called her or came to the hospital. I wasn't. Because her friends were people she hung out with (and had sex with, and partied with, and did drugs with). There was no bond.

That's sad. This seems to be a very similar story to many of those people who committed or attempted suicide. Have you seen the documentary "The Bridge" ? If you haven't, you ought to watch it. It makes me sad when I see these people jumping of the Golden Gate Bridge in California ONLY because they think they have no more reason to live.

Not really my point.
She had a lot of friends (or so she thought). She had a bad trip and decided to jump. Or a cry for attention. She was a drama queen.

Perhaps she wasn't a drama queen. Maybe she seemed that way to others around her while she actually was mentally ill or dealing with some tough situations in her personal life that no one knew about. So in response to this, this is the way she expressed herself in order to deal with her current situations in her personal life.

For example, many people who become drug addicts don't just become drug addicts because of them doing these drugs for recreational purposes, but because they are trying to cope with some type of internal chaos within their mind that may or may not come from their environment.

Not to mention the fact many people who take psychiatric medications are basically taking legalized street drugs to help give temporary fixes to their mental health.

You'd be surprised at what some of these psychiatric medications equate to. Though many people don't care about those with mental health issues anyways. In this case, many people who have psychiatric issues are forgotten or not cared about simply because many people don't have the ability to understand their complex minds like doctors do.



So, to answer your question, women stick together more likely because they are more likely to bond with others. Men are not.
Men are also more likely to be greedy and sell out another friend (i.e. screw them over), while women are not.

but why???? It's horrible.
Human nature.
Aren't more men anit-social than women?
Women just seem to need to connect with others more, therefore, they do it better.
Let's generalize.
What do mean talk about? What do women talk about? Is it hard to see why women connect stronger than men?

But, again, this is all anecdote, and likely stems from school-age friends.
School age friends are likely to be lost over time, since they were largely friends by convenience. It's not like you had a choice in where you went to school, and you socialized as best you could.

As you get older become "yourself" and have more choices in friends and more life experience, you seek out better friends, and chances are, you and your school-age friends have changed enough where you are just not the same as you were and you drift apart. Think of how easy it is to lose touch with a friend who had a kid. He doesn't party with you anymore, he doesn't club, either. You are at different places.

But, it depends on how close you were to begin with.
I think this is also different depending on how many friends you had.
How close are you to your 100 friends?
How close are you to your 2 friends?

I am looking for a much deeper answer than this. This doesn't help. I am looking for a deep scientific explanation which describes how and why young males have developed a lack of brotherly love. This includes the factors in which made these results possible and how these factors affected the process. Furthermore, an explanation as to why these factors affected the process in the way which they did.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/1/2014 1:15:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/1/2014 9:53:21 AM, Haroush wrote:
Explain the bonds of gangs, marines, and fraternities.
My work here is, finally, done.
YYW
Posts: 36,289
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/1/2014 5:42:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/30/2014 11:05:24 PM, Haroush wrote:
I figured I'd post this topic as it has caught my interest here recently. Not just from my own experience, but from what I have observed in America's society.

When I was a kid, I was what you would consider a loner. Now despite this I was sociable and did have friends of the same sex. The difference between others and I was, I didn't have no close friends.

Boys are afraid to have really close male friends like girls do because they don't want to appear gay.
Tsar of DDO
Haroush
Posts: 1,329
Add as Friend
Challenge to a Debate
Send a Message
6/4/2014 11:55:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 6/1/2014 5:42:46 PM, YYW wrote:
At 5/30/2014 11:05:24 PM, Haroush wrote:
I figured I'd post this topic as it has caught my interest here recently. Not just from my own experience, but from what I have observed in America's society.

When I was a kid, I was what you would consider a loner. Now despite this I was sociable and did have friends of the same sex. The difference between others and I was, I didn't have no close friends.

Boys are afraid to have really close male friends like girls do because they don't want to appear gay.

That's one legitimate reason.