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Bullies

Antihero
Posts: 6
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10/22/2014 6:53:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
What do you think about bullies and those who getting bullied? Whose fault it is? I think its the bullies' fault.. but the thing is you cant change them.. What you can do is stand up to them, be confident,deviant, and fight back. That way they will you alone. But does it really solve the problem? Wont they just find the next victim?. And you know what really bothers me about bullies? They could be anyone. They could be those who act kind to their friends and being obidient to their parents. But when they see a weakness,they take the chance and become bullies without realizing it. It makes me sad. Somehow,i just cant hate them. Why? Because for example lets say a girl said something mean about this boy and her friends laugh. The boy didnt feel like being bullied. He fired back. The boy got the girl's respect and after that the girl never say mean things to him again If thats the case would you call it a bully? How about if the boy was being sensitive and didnt fired back cause he couldnt think about any good comebacks? The girl will keep saying mean things to him. He will feel rejected and depressed. I feel guilty but it makes me rethink about whose fault it is. And one more thing, there is this scene in The Perks of Being A Wallflower where candance (?) want to show his bf how to stand up to his bullies. She said very insensitive things to him until he got mad and then he slapped her. She was like "yes! Finally!" Cause thats what she wants. She wants her bf to brave enough to fight his bullies . Do u think its the right think to do?

Note: my english is bad. Sorryy
YYW
Posts: 36,357
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10/22/2014 2:33:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/22/2014 6:53:26 AM, Antihero wrote:
What do you think about bullies and those who getting bullied?

It depends.

As a general principal, there are few things I love more than seeing some little guy kick some bully's @ss. The problem is that what constitutes "bullying" is something that's hard for people to define. Suppose you have a big kid, who is 15 or 16, who physically harasses some little kid who is 13 or 14. Without considering other factors, I'm probably going to be rooting for the little kid to punch the big kid in the mouth, or worse. However, I was never "bullied" in school so I don't really know what it's like to be "bullied." I beat up a few bullies in middle and high school (which I really enjoyed), and I usually got away with it too. Fighting isn't something that I necessarily advocate for, but it's also something that I'm not always opposed too.

I would also rather see, in the above hypothetical, the little kid take care of his own problems. Seeking help from teachers, school administrators, etc. almost never works, and the psychological implications of being "helpless" are deleterious to the human spirit. As people we have to depend on some people for some things, but unless the little kid 'could not' help himself (like if he was physically handicapped or mentally challenged) the kid should usually be taught how to and prepared to deal with his problems himself.

This is not, however, a solution that is deemed as "socially acceptable" in our increasingly sensitive, rigid and structured society. The conventional wisdom suggests that only teachers or administrators are in a position to intervene and stop bullying, although that's not especially practical unless the "bully" is never in a place with his or her potential victim in the absence of that authority. My solution accepts the reality that once kids step out of the school yard, there's very little if anything that can be done to meaningfully address and resolve the situation permanently. That said, punching someone in the mouth (or any similar measure that entailed the use of violence) should most likely not be the first thing that someone who is bullied should do. Words should be tried first.

But, not all bullying occurs on school grounds. Bosses bully their employees all the time. I worked for a guy (a good attorney, but a horrible person) who would berate his associates for having the temerity to run up reasonable bills on Lexis, who would scream at his secretary for a billing mistake that was relatively easy to solve (although, his secretary was a b!tch, she didn't deserve that), etc. He never laid into me, I think because I was taller and (visibly) physically stronger than he was -and my voice was lower than his was. There were other factors in play, but I think he just sort of "understood" that I wasn't someone to be fvcked with... his associates, on the other hand, were fair game.

In that case, I think they all should have quit their jobs and left. It would have been better to live on a public defender's salary than have to work in that kind of an environment, I think. But, in that case, the "schoolyard solution" isn't a viable option. There would have been no use trying to work it out, because this man was a senior partner. The entire environment of the office was very bad, though. Even still, if I was in the position of one of the associates, I don't know what I would have done.
Tsar of DDO
nikola.treimane
Posts: 2
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1/26/2015 10:38:45 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
People who bully have to understand that other people can not change anything about themselves unless they want to. Parents should educate their children to prevent such arguments in life. I think that there are people who can stand for themselves, but also a lot of them are not able to say anything back. It makes us think about what kind of people surround us. How rude and discourteous they are to others? How disrespectful and cruel our society can be today. We should stand up for those who can not say anything back and make this world better.
dinakath
Posts: 2
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1/27/2015 2:12:58 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
What are bullies?
To me bullies are the ones who take advantage of the weaker people, but the thing is, throughout all human history there has been bullies. Some bigger and more brutal than others. An example could be Hitler. In some abstract he was a bully. There is this concept with bullies. People say that bullies probably have their reason, for example had a shitty childhood. In Hitlers case losing the First World War was his bad childhood, and he had to point his finger at someone. He chose the Jews. But how could the Jews stand against him when he had so many advantages compared to them?
My first point is, bullying is somehow a part of human nature. My second point is, what if you can't stand up for yourself without getting beat up by the bully and his/her friends?

(I would like to add that I have no sympathy for Hitler)

"Survival of the fittest" - Darwin
rastapoodle
Posts: 1
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1/27/2015 2:13:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Bullying is an issue that affects many children, teens and also adults in the everyday life. It is not always that simple just to prevent bullying, since there's needed way more than just courage to step up and point out your limits. The "no-bullying" mentality needs to come from home, where the first basic knowledge comes from.
sofiexhansen
Posts: 1
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1/27/2015 2:59:34 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
It is never the victims fault. Even if the victim might be a big a*shole himself/herself, it is never his/her fault that he/she is getting bullied. Whatever you do, it is never fair to getting bullied for it. Even if you have bullied someone yourself, you don't deserve to get bullied. We can't prevent bullying by bullying a bully.
You have to stand up for the victim, and show them that they are not alone. The bully has to realize that what he/she is doing is wrong, and that it is not right.
The bully might not even realize that he/she is bullying, so you have to make sure that the bully knows what he/she is actually doing.
Some people might take it as a joke, but some people do take it really hard, so you have to think about what you're saying.
It's the same thing about cyber-bullying. It's hard to know if someone is being sarcastic, or joking around with you, since you can't see their facial expression.
debatehanne
Posts: 1
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1/27/2015 6:04:57 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I do not think it is the bullies fault. They do not bully just because they want to. The bullies could for example have some problems at home for example parents who get divorce, who make them agressive and angry, and then they just bully others to make them fell better.