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Monogamy?

innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/20/2010 8:47:22 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Thoughts?

I've heard a lot of different views on this as being unnatural for men, but quite so for women. Contrary to a man's wants, but good for his needs.

Let's face it, men want it only for their mate.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/20/2010 8:50:12 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I think monogamy is better for most men. I think it is the best thing for women for several reasons, one being that they would not have control over their several husbands such as if they got into a fight over something.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/20/2010 8:54:58 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 8:50:12 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think monogamy is better for most men. I think it is the best thing for women for several reasons, one being that they would not have control over their several husbands such as if they got into a fight over something.

Just a question, wouldn't that same reason apply for women who might be fighting over something?
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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5/20/2010 9:18:00 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Monogamy is unnatural for the males of most mammal species, including humans.

It is the natural instinct of a male to spread his genes as widely as possible by impregnating as many different females as he can.

In humans, this means that men want to have sex (as distinct from forming a relationship) with as many different women as possible.

It is different for women because their primary instinct is to nurture her children until they are old enough to support themselves.

However, in modern civilisations, the mother has traditionally relied upon the financial assistance of the children's father to enable her to bring them up and that is why many societies promote the concept of monogamy.

Furthermore, the differentiation between promiscuity in men and women is reflected in the terms we use to describe men and women that sleep around.

There are many words for a girl that puts it about and none of them are complimentary. They include:

Slapper
Slut
Slag
Tart

Whereas men who get plenty of action are described positively:

Stud
Diamond geezer
Proper lad
Porn-star
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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5/20/2010 9:43:48 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 8:54:58 AM, innomen wrote:
At 5/20/2010 8:50:12 AM, Mirza wrote:
I think monogamy is better for most men. I think it is the best thing for women for several reasons, one being that they would not have control over their several husbands such as if they got into a fight over something.

Just a question, wouldn't that same reason apply for women who might be fighting over something?

no men can beat them with a tassle...

READ YOUR QURAN!

(though... you might have to do more than just read it... b/c if you do that you'll see it simply says BEAT your wife)
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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5/20/2010 10:18:44 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 9:18:00 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
Monogamy is unnatural for the males of most mammal species, including humans.

It is the natural instinct of a male to spread his genes as widely as possible by impregnating as many different females as he can.

In humans, this means that men want to have sex (as distinct from forming a relationship) with as many different women as possible.

It is different for women because their primary instinct is to nurture her children until they are old enough to support themselves.

However, in modern civilisations, the mother has traditionally relied upon the financial assistance of the children's father to enable her to bring them up and that is why many societies promote the concept of monogamy.

I'd say it's purdy likely men ALWAYS were around to help provide for the children...

little babies need A LOT of lookin after.

plus they gotta make sure nobody's looking at their lady.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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5/20/2010 10:23:27 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 10:18:44 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
little babies need A LOT of lookin after.

not that men would do the coddling... but it's a full time job for the lady...

so someone needs to get food and do other things.

ALSO: heavily pregnant women are pretty disabled...
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
belle
Posts: 4,113
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5/20/2010 10:25:07 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
from various lines of evidence its pretty clear that humans evolved to be mostly monogamous with some cheating on the side... which is for the most part what we observe. to my thinking, anything veering from that too dramatically is going to cause unhappiness (we're jealous motherf*ckers a lot of the time) but not necessarily in all cases.
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
Volkov
Posts: 9,765
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5/20/2010 10:29:47 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
It's probably far from natural, but it's not completely unnatural, either, to be monogamous. Early in our specie's history we were probably far from monogamous, and structured relationships more along the lines of what modern apes have. However, our complex brains and society changed this somehow, for some reason; it's clearly been beneficial or else it wouldn't have survived this long in our culture. Maybe its because it provides for a strong support group for children, so they can survive all hardships; or maybe it's because there's less fighting over mates. I'm not sure, but something about monogamy has benefited us as a species.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/20/2010 12:48:58 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 8:54:58 AM, innomen wrote:
Just a question, wouldn't that same reason apply for women who might be fighting over something?
A man should do what he can do treat them justly. But a man is also more capable of dealing with some women than a woman is capable of dealing with some men. There are also other things that women cannot do as good as men. Men are too dominating, too. They would want to dominate over each other too much, and a woman can hardly deal with this.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/20/2010 1:07:11 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 12:48:58 PM, Mirza wrote:
At 5/20/2010 8:54:58 AM, innomen wrote:
Just a question, wouldn't that same reason apply for women who might be fighting over something?
A man should do what he can do treat them justly. But a man is also more capable of dealing with some women than a woman is capable of dealing with some men. There are also other things that women cannot do as good as men. Men are too dominating, too. They would want to dominate over each other too much, and a woman can hardly deal with this.

Do you mean that a man has more physical force than a woman and can force any sort of dispute into reconciliation, and a woman cannot really beat a man into submission as well?
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/20/2010 1:41:55 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 1:35:48 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
*Correction* I'll make the exception for Mary Winstead and J Simspon.

Didn't you want a non-sexual relationship with them earlier?
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/20/2010 2:00:43 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 1:07:11 PM, innomen wrote:
Do you mean that a man has more physical force than a woman and can force any sort of dispute into reconciliation, and a woman cannot really beat a man into submission as well?
No, and I did not mean that at all.

I am saying that a man can handle fights of his wives much better than a woman would with fights of her husbands. Men are more aggressive, and could go as far as harming her.
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/20/2010 2:03:10 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
And your fellow holy book, the Bible, has nothing against polygamy. It does not even set limits. Mine does.

This is in case you try to bring my religion up into this discussion about polygamy.
Veridas
Posts: 733
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5/20/2010 4:55:44 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 2:03:10 PM, Mirza wrote:
And your fellow holy book, the Bible, has nothing against polygamy. It does not even set limits. Mine does.

This is in case you try to bring my religion up into this discussion about polygamy.

Matthew 19:1-12 "1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to
the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he (Jesus) replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10. The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11. Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Jesus loves you but I think you're a moron.
What fresh dickery is the internet up to today?
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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5/20/2010 4:58:47 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 4:55:44 PM, Veridas wrote:
At 5/20/2010 2:03:10 PM, Mirza wrote:
And your fellow holy book, the Bible, has nothing against polygamy. It does not even set limits. Mine does.

This is in case you try to bring my religion up into this discussion about polygamy.

Matthew 19:1-12 "1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to
the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he (Jesus) replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10. The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11. Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Jesus loves you but I think you're a moron.

this didn't have anything to do with polygamy...

moron.
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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5/20/2010 6:29:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 1:41:55 PM, innomen wrote:
At 5/20/2010 1:35:48 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
*Correction* I'll make the exception for Mary Winstead and J Simspon.

Didn't you want a non-sexual relationship with them earlier?

That's right - I'd admire their beauty through life and dwell on their inner quality.
mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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5/20/2010 6:34:19 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 6:29:07 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 5/20/2010 1:41:55 PM, innomen wrote:
At 5/20/2010 1:35:48 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
*Correction* I'll make the exception for Mary Winstead and J Simspon.

Didn't you want a non-sexual relationship with them earlier?

That's right - I'd admire their beauty through life and dwell on their inner quality.

what?!

what inner quality are you talkin bout?

and how do you know their inner quality is worth dwelling on???
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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5/20/2010 6:46:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 6:34:19 PM, mattrodstrom wrote:
At 5/20/2010 6:29:07 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 5/20/2010 1:41:55 PM, innomen wrote:
At 5/20/2010 1:35:48 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
*Correction* I'll make the exception for Mary Winstead and J Simspon.

Didn't you want a non-sexual relationship with them earlier?

That's right - I'd admire their beauty through life and dwell on their inner quality.

what?!

what inner quality are you talkin bout?

and how do you know their inner quality is worth dwelling on???

Bro, I'm being facetious.

Honestly, I'm not that much into Simpson. From what I have seen of Winstead, she seems down to earth, open-minded, and fun to be around.
lastrequest691
Posts: 339
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5/21/2010 1:20:11 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Monogamy is not good as it destroys the society.
"That song was absolutely waste of talent; you sounded like a wounded animal and who told you to play the guitar by yourself." Simon Cowell
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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5/21/2010 2:01:52 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/20/2010 4:55:44 PM, Veridas wrote:
Matthew 19:1-12 "1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to
the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he (Jesus) replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10. The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11. Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
See the bold one. It even speaks about polygamy.

And this has absolutely nothing to do with prohibition of polygamy. It is well known from the Bible that some Prophets had numerous wives. Only bishops are allowed to have one wife. Nowhere is there a command to marry only one wife at all.

The Vedas, the Bible, etc., none say "marry only one." Only the Qur'an has these words.

Jesus loves you but I think you're a moron.
Keep your filthy and disrespectful words to yourself, or look at the mirror and utter them as much as you want.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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5/21/2010 10:19:50 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
The "it's in our genes" crap isn't a good excuse to be unfaithful (men). A lot of our habits and activities can be blamed on genetics or biology but we're still responsible for our actions. People who are overweight are biologically inclined to be that way, and failing to resist chocolate cake can be just as tempting to the senses (and psychology) as resisting sex. But again, we make our own choices.

Most women want monogamous commitments, and if it's not reasonable or possible for you based on your 'biology' then don't lie and commit yourself to her just to set yourself up for failure and hurt another person in the process. The same applies for women who don't want to be monogamous (because I know plenty of women who don't want that either). Men don't typically want to be monogamous but they expect their partner to be. Clearly that's not fair so they usually make the compromise to be faithful. Sometimes jealousy is a good deterrent (I won't do that to them because I wouldn't want it done to me).
President of DDO
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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5/22/2010 1:44:23 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 5/21/2010 10:19:50 AM, theLwerd wrote:
The "it's in our genes" crap isn't a good excuse to be unfaithful (men). A lot of our habits and activities can be blamed on genetics or biology but we're still responsible for our actions. People who are overweight are biologically inclined to be that way, and failing to resist chocolate cake can be just as tempting to the senses (and psychology) as resisting sex. But again, we make our own choices.

Most women want monogamous commitments, and if it's not reasonable or possible for you based on your 'biology' then don't lie and commit yourself to her just to set yourself up for failure and hurt another person in the process. The same applies for women who don't want to be monogamous (because I know plenty of women who don't want that either). Men don't typically want to be monogamous but they expect their partner to be. Clearly that's not fair so they usually make the compromise to be faithful. Sometimes jealousy is a good deterrent (I won't do that to them because I wouldn't want it done to me).

It is a major challenge to our base instincts, but our instincts can often result in unhappiness. Particularly in the specific context in which i live, however, i maintain that ultimately greater happiness even joy can be found in a committed monogamous relationship, and a life of chronic multiple relationships or polygamous relationships is ultimately less happy and actually kind of sad.