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to marry a woman who dated with somebody

Artur
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2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
gingerbread-man
Posts: 301
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2/10/2015 9:06:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

It goes both ways....I hope you have been saving yourself as well. You can't expect something of your wife to be that you cannot adhere to.
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Such
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2/10/2015 10:02:44 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

Ugh. Stop being weird.
Artur
Posts: 719
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2/11/2015 12:32:18 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
It goes both ways....I hope you have been saving yourself as well. You can't expect something of your wife to be that you cannot adhere to.

Actually, if I talk from the perspective of them, from the society I saw it: virginity of man is not valued or if a man dated with somebody else is not a problem or a point.

Virginity of woman is seen as a burden of woman which needs to be protected by herself, woman is not supposed to have sex with somebody before marriage. If a man had, that is not problem and seen as an accomplishment. And, on such cultures, woman is an honour of her husband. As I said above, imagine: I was ex of your wife, if you face me what things I have done with her would you think? Would you not be bothered if such things come to your mind? In your mind: I am doing something with your wife such as kissing, playing her private parts and e.t.c would not you be bothered?
About me: I have a GF, I am her first and she is my first. I am happy with her and will marry her.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
Sosoconfused
Posts: 237
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2/11/2015 7:03:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

This is a somewhat disgusting stance to take. Claiming that person who has physically engaged with someone is somehow less than someone who hasn't deprives them of their humanity. You are not respecting and cherishing that person for their humanity, for their qualities as a human being, you are judging them based on an morally ambiguous action rather than the person.


secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

If she's not over him, why are you with her? Why do you accept that she would love someone else while being with you. You are disrespecting yourself. If she is over him, and doesn't love him anymore and is able to giver herself completely to you, then there is no problem.


when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

This doesn't come to mind one bit. Engaging physically based on emotional closeness should preclude such thoughts....otherwise, you're doing it wrong and not loosing yourself in the moment.....Now if you come face to face with her ex.....well....his loss is your gain. Lovely girl (presumably) who already knows how please a guy in some sense; is comfortable with her sexuality and can engage you physically without the shame, insecurity, and inhibitions that come with sexual inexperience.


in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

Why would you ever wanna be with a virgin? Why wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, with her desires, with her body. Sexuality is a learned knowledge not an innate one. How could she possibly know what is sexually satisfying to her if she can't explore that? It's the same reason why it's generally accepted that men can be sexually promiscuous. It gives them a reference for what is sexually stimulating, sexually satisfying, and sexually fulfilling.

If you believe the two of you are equal, then you ought to be allowed the same sexual liberties. To argue any other way is to argue for separate standards and inequality.
UndeniableReality
Posts: 1,897
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2/12/2015 1:51:27 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

Maybe you would feel more comfortable living in the 3rd world?

In all honesty, I think this post is rather disgusting. In more ways than I care to elaborate on.
Otokage
Posts: 2,347
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2/12/2015 5:41:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

Oh no, baby you are looking at it the wrong way. Marrying a virgin girl is like hiring a surgeon who has never operated anyone :)

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her.She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you.

I don't think it works that way... People rarely "accept you" because they can't have any other person. I mean, the problem of that girl wouldn't be not being a virgin, but being a bad b*tch.

you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

with all due respect, the level of stupidity of your post is escalating dangerously hahahaha

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

But that's you, I don't think about what my parter has done before with anyone lol I think you have an uncontroled problem of jelousy maybe?

in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

I suppose you are a virgin then. Who would want to date you if not? :/
AFism
Posts: 1,030
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2/12/2015 9:07:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

Yeah I'm gonna start saying this 2 duded from now on.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

I wish women would think about this more when dating men that already lost their virginity

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

: in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

I have a feeling that you aren't going to agree with me though as it seems you may be strongly indoctrinated in your double standards.

But I do understand that there is a physiological connection being made with partners during sex and I also prefer to date people who are less experienced. Not because I go around thinking about all of the unspeakable things they could've done. I could care less. I'm more about exploring together, as a couple, and I also want to protect my self from disease. What good is dating someone who has done EVERYTHING its not the fact that they are "used up" and "worthless" because of their decisions because they are still humans and not play things that have an expiration date. Its the fact that it speaks to your character when you have multiple partners and I wouldn't want to be with someone that has done every single thing under the sun, because I it tells me that you could care less about your body and what energy you encounter and I take things like that seriously. Man or woman.

Thats what I think about it.
AFism
Posts: 1,030
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2/12/2015 9:13:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/11/2015 7:03:28 AM, Sosoconfused wrote:
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.


This is a somewhat disgusting stance to take. Claiming that person who has physically engaged with someone is somehow less than someone who hasn't deprives them of their humanity. You are not respecting and cherishing that person for their humanity, for their qualities as a human being, you are judging them based on an morally ambiguous action rather than the person.



secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

If she's not over him, why are you with her? Why do you accept that she would love someone else while being with you. You are disrespecting yourself. If she is over him, and doesn't love him anymore and is able to giver herself completely to you, then there is no problem.



when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

This doesn't come to mind one bit. Engaging physically based on emotional closeness should preclude such thoughts....otherwise, you're doing it wrong and not loosing yourself in the moment.....Now if you come face to face with her ex.....well....his loss is your gain. Lovely girl (presumably) who already knows how please a guy in some sense; is comfortable with her sexuality and can engage you physically without the shame, insecurity, and inhibitions that come with sexual inexperience.


in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)


Why would you ever wanna be with a virgin? Why wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, with her desires, with her body. Sexuality is a learned knowledge not an innate one. How could she possibly know what is sexually satisfying to her if she can't explore that? It's the same reason why it's generally accepted that men can be sexually promiscuous. It gives them a reference for what is sexually stimulating, sexually satisfying, and sexually fulfilling.

If you believe the two of you are equal, then you ought to be allowed the same sexual liberties. To argue any other way is to argue for separate standards and inequality.

I totally agree with everything except for whats in bold. I've met some freaky, masterbating, sexually-in-tune, virgins that know what they want because they experimented with themselves. So to say that you need a partner to learn more about what you want isn't entirely true. This proves that sexuality is learned from researching and knowledge too instead of experience. Reading books masterbation, using toys can get you a long way, hell maybe even farther than a person whose had sex before.
AFism
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2/12/2015 9:16:00 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/12/2015 9:07:11 PM, AFism wrote:
At 2/10/2015 7:55:27 PM, Artur wrote:
to marry a woman who dated with somebody before. what do you think about it?! in general, in the west (I live in europe) even virginity is not taken seriously. but in some cultures, it is not a normal thing to marry a girl who dated with someone else in the past. I think they are right, why do we not value it?!

first of all, let me talk about nonvirgin girl. I will marry once in a life time. (yes, we can divorce and get married again with someone else but when we make marriage oiur purpose is to be with her/him till the end of our life. we wont have the second one). now, in that only one, we marry someone who is already used and left by somebody else. it is like buying something second hand, it is like not to value to buy first hand thing.

Yeah I'm gonna start saying this 2 duded from now on.

secondly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.

I wish women would think about this more when dating men that already lost their virginity

when you are having sex with your wife, sometimes you can think "what they could have done?! may be he has kissed my wife, maybe he did whatever..." and imagine when you are walking with your wife, you faced her exBf, what can come to your mind?!

: in general, we need to marry virgin and secondly, with someone who dated with no one. (of course if such exists and you find)

I have a feeling that you aren't going to agree with me though as it seems you may be strongly indoctrinated in your double standards.

But I do understand that there is a physiological connection being made with partners during sex and I also prefer to date people who are less experienced. Not because I go around thinking about all of the unspeakable things they could've done. I could care less. I'm more about exploring together, as a couple, and I also want to protect my self from disease. What good is dating someone who has done EVERYTHING its not the fact that they are "used up" and "worthless" because of their decisions because they are still humans and not play things that have an expiration date. Its the fact that it speaks to your character when you have multiple partners and I wouldn't want to be with someone that has done every single thing under the sun, because I it tells me that you could care less about your body and what energy you encounter and I take things like that seriously. Man or woman.

Thats what I think about it.

And nooo I'm not knocking all you non virgins out there. Its just a preference for me not a deal breaker.
Df0512
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2/13/2015 10:44:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Sounds like Americans are less judgmental. In my opinion if you truly love a person, you love them regardless. Not saying you don't but obsessing over the past isn't a healthy way to love someone. Virginity just doesn't hold as much value to us as it does other countries. Maybe because we think it's to ritualistic or to better console those who lost theirs without consent. Virginity is something more of a sign of innocence and childhood and American sees sex as a normal part of growing up. Frankly, I would personally prefer someone with a little more experience. No, I won't get with someone who was to promiscuous but I'd also avoid a virgin.
Artur
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2/13/2015 6:48:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
econdly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.
I wish women would think about this more when dating men that already lost their virginity

I wish too, I do not have any problem with the women who look for a clean man instead of second hand.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
UndeniableReality
Posts: 1,897
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2/13/2015 7:05:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/13/2015 6:48:02 PM, Artur wrote:
econdly, imagine: your wife is Jane and John was her exBF, when they were going out together, imagine what they could have done in the past?! maybe she hase kissed him, he has played with her private parts and did whatever he wanted, after he got satisfied with what he wants, she left her. She was willing him but as he left her, she accepted you. you are her spare, her soul was John's but they failed. think about living with somebody, whose soul belongs to another one, as a spouse.
I wish women would think about this more when dating men that already lost their virginity

I wish too, I do not have any problem with the women who look for a clean man instead of second hand.

Where are you from?
Artur
Posts: 719
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2/13/2015 7:25:15 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Where are you from?
never mind what country I am from, I am from somewhere in europe. if you think my origin is the thing which caused me to think so, no, that is not reason.

I have been to many places, I have talked to people from several cultures (aisa, africa, india and e.t.c) among that cultures, I knew it.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
sadolite
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2/13/2015 8:35:53 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
"Actually, if I talk from the perspective of them, from the society I saw it: virginity of man is not valued or if a man dated with somebody else is not a problem or a point."

I smell Islam, The colossal double standard religion.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Artur
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2/13/2015 8:56:21 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/13/2015 8:35:53 PM, sadolite wrote:
"Actually, if I talk from the perspective of them, from the society I saw it: virginity of man is not valued or if a man dated with somebody else is not a problem or a point."

I smell Islam, The colossal double standard religion.

if you realised, it is written "SOCIETY", not religion. but even if you assume islamic society, you are wrong again. Islam forbids having sex before marriage for people (both genders), not women only. p.s: I am not muslim but very familiar with Islam. (do not think I am muslim, I am also familiar with christianity as well)

but even if it was from Islam, that would not change anything: clean, untouched is better than the second hand.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
Artur
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2/13/2015 9:12:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Claiming that person who has physically engaged with someone is somehow less than someone who hasn't deprives them of their humanity.
the culture this belongs to values humanity too, not just virginity or sexual engagement.

You are not respecting and cherishing that person for their humanity, for their qualities as a human being, you are judging them based on an morally ambiguous action rather than the person.
point is not respect or disrespect towards such women. point is a criteria about marriage, not "respect to others."

if a woman is not virgin and has good charachter, that is respected. and on the same level, if a woman is virgin but with a poor character, then that is not respected on that society. virginity status of woman is valued in marriage, not personal relationship.

If she's not over him, why are you with her? Why do you accept that she would love someone else while being with you. You are disrespecting yourself.

right, that is why we are to not marry such woman. it is to disrespect yourself. that is why it is not acceptable to marry such woman. someone can not know whether she is over him or not, may be she wanted and wants him but since she knows that he will not choose her she accepted you. may be she really is over him but do not forget: if he did not leave her, she would not be yours. in this case, as if you are spare of hers.

If she is over him, and doesn't love him anymore and is able to giver herself completely to you, then there is no problem.

in this case, if you trust her that she is completely with you, yes then there is problem. I agree.

This doesn't come to mind one bit. Engaging physically based on emotional closeness should preclude such thoughts....otherwise, you're doing it wrong and not loosing yourself in the moment.....Now if you come face to face with her ex.....well....his loss is your gain. Lovely girl who already knows how please a guy in some sense; is comfortable with her sexuality and can engage you physically without the shame, insecurity, and inhibitions that come with sexual inexperience.

maybe his waste is your wife?! :) I did whatever I want to and then left her, then she is yours now. you really dont take it seriously, she is already a second han, man. no matter she is my loss or waste, it does not change the fact that the thing you think gain was used by me before you.

Why would you ever wanna be with a virgin?
why?! becasue my marriage, my wife is a plight I can and will have once and on that occasion, I will take who is already used by somebody, who is a second hand?! If I have a chance, I would try to take clean one instead of second hand.

Why wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality with her desires, with her body
why would you wanna be with a woman who was a pleasurer of somebody else, like a prostitute?! she was used (irony) by somebody else, she may be a waste of somebody else. somebody else used her as he wanted and then threw it, then she is with you. again, clean is better than second hand. new one is better than a waste thrown by somebody else.

Sexuality is a learned knowledge not an innate one. How could she possibly know what is sexually satisfying to her if she can't explore that? It's the same reason why it's generally accepted that men can be sexually promiscuous. It gives them a reference for what is sexually stimulating, sexually satisfying, and sexually fulfilling.

yes, that is a learned knowledge, but why would your wife be learnt in order to satisfy somebody else, after she satisfied somebody else, she is yours?! would you marry a prostitute?!

If you believe the two of you are equal, then you ought to be allowed the same sexual liberties. To argue any other way is to argue for separate standards and inequality.
I agree, I wish women also looked for a clean man instead of a second hand.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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2/13/2015 9:22:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
The Fool: To be honest with you, it's best to marry a woman who has dated at least a few men. For one who hasn't dated at all, is always wondering what it would be like to have dated somebody else. If she's had a few partners she has a better sense of what she wants, and what she doesn't want. This way you'll know, her love for you is not simply a puppy love, which maybe strong but has no foundation and which can wear off when infatuation does. I can't believe it but I agree with Otokage on this particular line.

" Marrying a virgin girl is like hiring a surgeon who has never operated anyone :)"

The Fool: But then again I say this having had both a virgin and a slut.. I prefer the slut!
But that's just me. I love sluts.. Not public slots, but bedroom sluts.

<(8D)
Maybe because I'm a little older to I don't care as much about that that kind of thing as I did as I when I was younger. It's a matter of self-confidence as well, and I believe that the very lack of self-confidence which may be the reason why you prefer her she not have previous partners is the very thing that women tend to be aversive to..


On Being Used

There is a natural sense that a woman appear to us used, which I think is a biological predisposition to woman having had children, that is, their bodies having a in a sense been used by other men but I don't believe it's a rational one.. Nonetheless, I don't think men should be shamed for their preferences as we see here from the social Marxists in the forum, the very same who would, harass you for not liking fat women, but never women for not liking short, bald for and/or emasculate men.

I'm not like a traitor or an irrational, going to say something like it doesn't matter what she's done In her past at all, I mean if anybody can sleep with her, then what Is left at a special to you in particular. I

I think it matters to all of us a little bit, there are limits, as fism argued, there's some things that you would like to experience together. Its these first together's which create a kind of bond which is original and true to you as a couple.


Against The Ideologist


Protect yourself with a prenup. So you don't lose your kids and all your money in the most likely divorce by her, and triple your chance of suicide while these irrational's cheer them on, blaming you for it. Even though it's already likely beforehand.
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
sadolite
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2/13/2015 10:21:25 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/13/2015 8:56:21 PM, Artur wrote:
At 2/13/2015 8:35:53 PM, sadolite wrote:
"Actually, if I talk from the perspective of them, from the society I saw it: virginity of man is not valued or if a man dated with somebody else is not a problem or a point."

I smell Islam, The colossal double standard religion.

if you realised, it is written "SOCIETY", not religion. but even if you assume islamic society, you are wrong again. Islam forbids having sex before marriage for people (both genders), not women only. p.s: I am not muslim but very familiar with Islam. (do not think I am muslim, I am also familiar with christianity as well)

but even if it was from Islam, that would not change anything: clean, untouched is better than the second hand.

"clean, untouched is better than the second hand." Is it really? Have you ever considered the mind as being the greatest asset a person can give to another rather than their virginity. I've known manipulative evil conniving virgins that I wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole. Virginity is so overrated and so is sex. "Ok now that we have had sex, what do we do and talk about now for the next 16 hours" "Ok, now you're not a virgin anymore you're just used goods now." What a myopic cromagnon philosophy in my opinion.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Artur
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2/14/2015 5:42:53 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
"clean, untouched is better than the second hand." Is it really? Have you ever considered the mind as being the greatest asset a person can give to another rather than their virginity.

Yes, I have. This thread was not about sex only, this thread is about "soul, dream, wish, virginity, her past life" and all about the woman who you are going to marry.

I've known manipulative evil conniving virgins that I wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole.
Yes, but why did you mention this? This thread does not have assertion like "whoever that is virgin is a perfect/inerrant woman." or "every virgin is worthy to marry" there is no such assertion in this thread.

While there is no such thing said in this thread, why are you talking about examples like "somebody can be virgin but a bad tempered one" and e.t.c does this threead sayu "if somebody is virgin, then that is a good human?" or e.t.c?

"Ok now that we have had sex, what do we do and talk about now for the next 16 hours" "Ok, now you're not a virgin anymore you're just used goods now." What a myopic cromagnon philosophy in my opinion.

If you think this thread and marriage is consisted of sex only, then you may think in that way.

Nor marriage neither this thread is composed of sex and virginity, both includes many things.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer
sadolite
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2/14/2015 7:23:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/14/2015 5:42:53 AM, Artur wrote:
"clean, untouched is better than the second hand." Is it really? Have you ever considered the mind as being the greatest asset a person can give to another rather than their virginity.

Yes, I have. This thread was not about sex only, this thread is about "soul, dream, wish, virginity, her past life" and all about the woman who you are going to marry.

I've known manipulative evil conniving virgins that I wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole.
Yes, but why did you mention this? This thread does not have assertion like "whoever that is virgin is a perfect/inerrant woman." or "every virgin is worthy to marry" there is no such assertion in this thread.

While there is no such thing said in this thread, why are you talking about examples like "somebody can be virgin but a bad tempered one" and e.t.c does this threead sayu "if somebody is virgin, then that is a good human?" or e.t.c?

"Ok now that we have had sex, what do we do and talk about now for the next 16 hours" "Ok, now you're not a virgin anymore you're just used goods now." What a myopic cromagnon philosophy in my opinion.

If you think this thread and marriage is consisted of sex only, then you may think in that way.

Nor marriage neither this thread is composed of sex and virginity, both includes many things.

I have read the thread and it is pretty much a fixation on virginity.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
Sosoconfused
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2/14/2015 2:00:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/13/2015 9:12:38 PM, Artur wrote:
Claiming that person who has physically engaged with someone is somehow less than someone who hasn't deprives them of their humanity.
the culture this belongs to values humanity too, not just virginity or sexual engagement.

You are not respecting and cherishing that person for their humanity, for their qualities as a human being, you are judging them based on an morally ambiguous action rather than the person.
point is not respect or disrespect towards such women. point is a criteria about marriage, not "respect to others."

if a woman is not virgin and has good charachter, that is respected. and on the same level, if a woman is virgin but with a poor character, then that is not respected on that society. virginity status of woman is valued in marriage, not personal relationship.

If she's not over him, why are you with her? Why do you accept that she would love someone else while being with you. You are disrespecting yourself.

right, that is why we are to not marry such woman. it is to disrespect yourself. that is why it is not acceptable to marry such woman. someone can not know whether she is over him or not, may be she wanted and wants him but since she knows that he will not choose her she accepted you. may be she really is over him but do not forget: if he did not leave her, she would not be yours. in this case, as if you are spare of hers.

If she is over him, and doesn't love him anymore and is able to giver herself completely to you, then there is no problem.

in this case, if you trust her that she is completely with you, yes then there is problem. I agree.

This doesn't come to mind one bit. Engaging physically based on emotional closeness should preclude such thoughts....otherwise, you're doing it wrong and not loosing yourself in the moment.....Now if you come face to face with her ex.....well....his loss is your gain. Lovely girl who already knows how please a guy in some sense; is comfortable with her sexuality and can engage you physically without the shame, insecurity, and inhibitions that come with sexual inexperience.

maybe his waste is your wife?! :) I did whatever I want to and then left her, then she is yours now. you really dont take it seriously, she is already a second han, man. no matter she is my loss or waste, it does not change the fact that the thing you think gain was used by me before you.

Why would you ever wanna be with a virgin?
why?! becasue my marriage, my wife is a plight I can and will have once and on that occasion, I will take who is already used by somebody, who is a second hand?! If I have a chance, I would try to take clean one instead of second hand.

Why wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality with her desires, with her body
why would you wanna be with a woman who was a pleasurer of somebody else, like a prostitute?! she was used (irony) by somebody else, she may be a waste of somebody else. somebody else used her as he wanted and then threw it, then she is with you. again, clean is better than second hand. new one is better than a waste thrown by somebody else.

Sexuality is a learned knowledge not an innate one. How could she possibly know what is sexually satisfying to her if she can't explore that? It's the same reason why it's generally accepted that men can be sexually promiscuous. It gives them a reference for what is sexually stimulating, sexually satisfying, and sexually fulfilling.

If you believe the two of you are equal, then you ought to be allowed the same sexual liberties. To argue any other way is to argue for separate standards and inequality.
I agree, I wish women also looked for a clean man instead of a second hand.

I still don't get how virginity matters one bit...it sounds like you are too insecure with yourself. If you can't form a meaningful connection with someone simply because they've been with someone else, that is a direct reflection upon your insecurities and your flaws, not theirs.

Let's talk about the waste argument...
This is perhaps the most disgusting way to look at another human being imaginable. No human is someone's waste. Each and every human has an intrinsic value that can't be taken from us. You're attempting to deprive women of their human dignity by looking at them in that way. By looking at them as objects that are discarded by another. You are granting human dignity to the male, yet the female is somehow less than, is disposable, is an object. This way of thinking reflects poorly upon you. The only way we should be judged is by how we treat others. The indignity you show those of the opposite sex is the same indignity they should see in you.

Comparing a woman who has shared their bedroom with another man in a loving relationship to a prostitute is a completely false analogy as well.... Even if the woman really was a prostitute, she still has her human dignity, and judging her past is none of your concern. If you are too insecure to be with a woman simply because she's had sex with someone else, that is on you and you alone. It has nothing to do with her. That is a fault solely with you.

How could you ever expect to be shown love and dignity when you deny others the same? When you make value judgement about being better or worse simply because they have been with someone else? What of she dumped him, is she still waste? What if her significant other died, is she waste then? Even if she was "used" is that really a poor reflection upon her? Shouldn't that reflect poorly on the man for being deceitful? And shouldn't it reflect more highly on her for being loyal and loving?

The intrinsic value of a person is all that matters. You are too concerned with what happens in the bedroom and not concerned enough what happens outside of it. Relationships aren't all about sex. The values we have and connections we make outside the bedroom are far more important.

Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects. It's not about a woman learning how to please you. You have nothing to do with her sexuality. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her. What she likes, wants, and needs from a sexual relationship. While I agree that some of that can be learned through Masturbation as one user pointed out, how will she know if she likes dirty talk, bandage, etc?... That is something you learn through experience
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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2/14/2015 2:41:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/14/2015 2:00:39 PM, Sosoconfused wrote:
At 2/13/2015 9:12:38 PM, Artur wrote:
Claiming that person who has physically engaged with someone is somehow less than someone who hasn't deprives them of their humanity.
the culture this belongs to values humanity too, not just virginity or sexual engagement.

You are not respecting and cherishing that person for their humanity, for their qualities as a human being, you are judging them based on an morally ambiguous action rather than the person.
point is not respect or disrespect towards such women. point is a criteria about marriage, not "respect to others."

if a woman is not virgin and has good charachter, that is respected. and on the same level, if a woman is virgin but with a poor character, then that is not respected on that society. virginity status of woman is valued in marriage, not personal relationship.

If she's not over him, why are you with her? Why do you accept that she would love someone else while being with you. You are disrespecting yourself.

right, that is why we are to not marry such woman. it is to disrespect yourself. that is why it is not acceptable to marry such woman. someone can not know whether she is over him or not, may be she wanted and wants him but since she knows that he will not choose her she accepted you. may be she really is over him but do not forget: if he did not leave her, she would not be yours. in this case, as if you are spare of hers.

If she is over him, and doesn't love him anymore and is able to giver herself completely to you, then there is no problem.

in this case, if you trust her that she is completely with you, yes then there is problem. I agree.

This doesn't come to mind one bit. Engaging physically based on emotional closeness should preclude such thoughts....otherwise, you're doing it wrong and not loosing yourself in the moment.....Now if you come face to face with her ex.....well....his loss is your gain. Lovely girl who already knows how please a guy in some sense; is comfortable with her sexuality and can engage you physically without the shame, insecurity, and inhibitions that come with sexual inexperience.

maybe his waste is your wife?! :) I did whatever I want to and then left her, then she is yours now. you really dont take it seriously, she is already a second han, man. no matter she is my loss or waste, it does not change the fact that the thing you think gain was used by me before you.

Why would you ever wanna be with a virgin?
why?! becasue my marriage, my wife is a plight I can and will have once and on that occasion, I will take who is already used by somebody, who is a second hand?! If I have a chance, I would try to take clean one instead of second hand.

Why wouldn't you want to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality with her desires, with her body
why would you wanna be with a woman who was a pleasurer of somebody else, like a prostitute?! she was used (irony) by somebody else, she may be a waste of somebody else. somebody else used her as he wanted and then threw it, then she is with you. again, clean is better than second hand. new one is better than a waste thrown by somebody else.

Sexuality is a learned knowledge not an innate one. How could she possibly know what is sexually satisfying to her if she can't explore that? It's the same reason why it's generally accepted that men can be sexually promiscuous. It gives them a reference for what is sexually stimulating, sexually satisfying, and sexually fulfilling.

If you believe the two of you are equal, then you ought to be allowed the same sexual liberties. To argue any other way is to argue for separate standards and inequality.
I agree, I wish women also looked for a clean man instead of a second hand.

I still don't get how virginity matters one bit...it sounds like you are too insecure with yourself. If you can't form a meaningful connection with someone simply because they've been with someone else, that is a direct reflection upon your insecurities and your flaws, not theirs.

Let's talk about the waste argument...
This is perhaps the most disgusting way to look at another human being imaginable. No human is someone's waste. Each and every human has an intrinsic value that can't be taken from us. You're attempting to deprive women of their human dignity by looking at them in that way. By looking at them as objects that are discarded by another. You are granting human dignity to the male, yet the female is somehow less than, is disposable, is an object. This way of thinking reflects poorly upon you. The only way we should be judged is by how we treat others. The indignity you show those of the opposite sex is the same indignity they should see in you.

Comparing a woman who has shared their bedroom with another man in a loving relationship to a prostitute is a completely false analogy as well.... Even if the woman really was a prostitute, she still has her human dignity, and judging her past is none of your concern. If you are too insecure to be with a woman simply because she's had sex with someone else, that is on you and you alone. It has nothing to do with her. That is a fault solely with you.

How could you ever expect to be shown love and dignity when you deny others the same? When you make value judgement about being better or worse simply because they have been with someone else? What of she dumped him, is she still waste? What if her significant other died, is she waste then? Even if she was "used" is that really a poor reflection upon her? Shouldn't that reflect poorly on the man for being deceitful? And shouldn't it reflect more highly on her for being loyal and loving?

The intrinsic value of a person is all that matters. You are too concerned with what happens in the bedroom and not concerned enough what happens outside of it. Relationships aren't all about sex. The values we have and connections we make outside the bedroom are far more important.

Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects. It's not about a woman learning how to please you. You have nothing to do with her sexuality. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her. What she likes, wants, and needs from a sexual relationship. While I agree that some of that can be learned through Masturbation as one user pointed out, how will she know if she likes dirty talk, bandage, etc?... That is something you learn through experience

The Fool: The TUMBLER FEMINST are starting to spill over onto DDO!
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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2/14/2015 2:46:33 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
The Fool: This place is going to get overwhelmed with absolute nonsense!!

How is this reasonable at all?
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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2/14/2015 3:20:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Typical Feminist Banter

Sosoconfused: Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects.

The Fool: You sound really confused here.

Sosoconfused:
1. It's not about a woman learning how to please you.
2. 2. You have nothing to do with her sexuality.
3. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her.

The Fool: Shouldn't be both. I mean I certainly try to think about how I'm going to please my partner not merely what pleases me.

Against The Crazy

This is somebody is planning on marrying, I woman. Not being a slave to woman.
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
The_Fool_on_the_hill
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2/14/2015 3:21:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
The Fool: *This is somebody [] planning on marrying[ a] woman. Not being a slave to woman.
"The bud disappears when the blossom breaks through, and we might say that the former is refuted by the latter; in the same way when the fruit comes, the blossom may be explained to be a false form of the plant's existence, for the fruit appears as its true nature in place of the blossom. These stages are not merely differentiated; they supplant one another as being incompatible with one another." G. W. F. HEGEL
AFism
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2/14/2015 4:35:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
why would you wanna be with a woman who was a pleasurer of somebody else, like a prostitute?! she was used (irony) by somebody else, she may be a waste of somebody else. somebody else used her as he wanted and then threw it, then she is with you. again, clean is better than second hand. new one is better than a waste thrown by somebody else.

Now this I disagree with obviously. Denying ones humanity for past actions is wrong yes. But when one is choosing a partner for themselves taking things like these into account is a must and O.P. doesn't want to be with a "prostitute" than so be it. Why is every one trying to govern eachothers' sexual lives? If it isn't banning gay marriage or shunning the B.D.S.M. and transgenderism community it's bashing non virgins and prostitutes. Can't we just quietly "F" how we want to "F" and leave that desire up to the individual. Please?

I still don't get how virginity matters one bit...it sounds like you are too insecure with yourself. If you can't form a meaningful connection with someone simply because they've been with someone else, that is a direct reflection upon your insecurities and your flaws, not theirs.
I agree with this to some degree. I think this is decided on an individual basis though. If o.p. really feels that virginity is an accurate reflection upon your character instead of the choices that lead up to it, then let him have that logic. I do wan't to point out that there are some very promiscuous virgins out here o.p. that has probably dirty talked, given hand jobs and dry humped out the wazoo. Wouldn't that mean that that person has been "used" too since they engaged in some form of sexual activity for someone?
Let's talk about the waste argument...
This is perhaps the most disgusting way to look at another human being imaginable. No human is someone's waste. Each and every human has an intrinsic value that can't be taken from us. You're attempting to deprive women of their human dignity by looking at them in that way. By looking at them as objects that are discarded by another. You are granting human dignity to the male, yet the female is somehow less than, is disposable, is an object.

Just going to reaffirm that o.p. has the same out look for all humans. Please correct me if I am wrong o.p.

This way of thinking reflects poorly upon you. The only way we should be judged is by how we treat others. The indignity you show those of the opposite sex is the same indignity they should see in you.

: Comparing a woman who has shared their bedroom with another man in a loving relationship to a prostitute is a completely false analogy as well.... Even if the woman really was a prostitute, she still has her human dignity, and judging her past is none of your concern. If you are too insecure to be with a woman simply because she's had sex with someone else, that is on you and you alone. It has nothing to do with her. That is a fault solely with you.

I agree to this to some degree. There is no comparison. But there are some implications that come with being an actual prostitute and if the partner doesn't want to deal with that than it is also within his or her right.

How could you ever expect to be shown love and dignity when you deny others the same? When you make value judgement about being better or worse simply because they have been with someone else? What of she dumped him, is she still waste? What if her significant other died, is she waste then? Even if she was "used" is that really a poor reflection upon her? Shouldn't that reflect poorly on the man for being deceitful? And shouldn't it reflect more highly on her for being loyal and loving?

The intrinsic value of a person is all that matters. You are too concerned with what happens in the bedroom and not concerned enough what happens outside of it. Relationships aren't all about sex. The values we have and connections we make outside the bedroom are far more important.

Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects. It's not about a woman learning how to please you. You have nothing to do with her sexuality. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her. What she likes, wants, and needs from a sexual relationship. While I agree that some of that can be learned through Masturbation as one user pointed out, how will she know if she likes dirty talk, bandage, etc?... That is something you learn through experience

I agree that some is learned by experience like for instance bondage. You may like it in theory but in praxis not so much. But again, porn and masterbation can take you a really long way with the psychological engagement and knowing your own body in sex. Thats all I was saying.

I agre with you with the whole denying one's humanity bit. He only used women as an example though as he replied to my comment because of what I said as a joke. He said that he want women to take the same mindset so I don't think this is purely sexist lol. So i think that every argument he posed about sexuality, he was also considering for men. I think that this is up to the individual because while I do agree with you that virginity itself doesn't reflect upon a man or a women, I feel that your actions do. So again sleeping with multiple partners, man or woman is something to be questioned when finding a partner. Same goes with prostitution. There are reasons why people do these actions and if a person that wants to be your partner has done these actions it is up to you to "judge" for yourself if the person is right for you. It sounds all nice in theory what you are saying.
AFism
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2/14/2015 4:38:24 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/14/2015 3:20:18 PM, The_Fool_on_the_hill wrote:
Typical Feminist Banter

Sosoconfused: Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects.

The Fool: You sound really confused here.

Sosoconfused:
1. It's not about a woman learning how to please you.
2. 2. You have nothing to do with her sexuality.
3. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her.

The Fool: Shouldn't be both. I mean I certainly try to think about how I'm going to please my partner not merely what pleases me.

Against The Crazy

This is somebody is planning on marrying, I woman. Not being a slave to woman.
Why is it that the fool on the hill always targets people that he or she thinks is a tumblr feminist in forums instead of actually replying to the forum question? These are questions that we all should be asking ourselves. Are you that obsessed Fool?

I think we should change your name to the The Feminist Police
AFism
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2/14/2015 4:42:50 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/14/2015 4:38:24 PM, AFism wrote:
At 2/14/2015 3:20:18 PM, The_Fool_on_the_hill wrote:
Typical Feminist Banter

Sosoconfused: Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects.

The Fool: You sound really confused here.

Sosoconfused:
1. It's not about a woman learning how to please you.
2. 2. You have nothing to do with her sexuality.
3. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her.

The Fool: Shouldn't be both. I mean I certainly try to think about how I'm going to please my partner not merely what pleases me.

Against The Crazy

This is somebody is planning on marrying, I woman. Not being a slave to woman.
Why is it that the fool on the hill always targets people that he or she thinks is a tumblr feminist in forums instead of actually replying to the forum question? These are questions that we all should be asking ourselves. Are you that obsessed Fool?

I think we should change your name to the The Feminist Police
Ha oh wait never mind I see your post and for once agree with it. Think about the name I gave you though :)
Artur
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2/14/2015 6:00:35 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I still don't get how virginity matters one bit...
that is seen a morality, dignity, speciality of a woman. till her marriage, woman needs to be far away from such things. not having a sex or not losing a virginity is not all it matters. woman needs to be virgin both morally and physically.

it is not acceptable even if woman walked hand in with somebody. woman needs to be virgin both morally and physically.

it sounds like you are too insecure with yourself.
I am so secure with my self

If you can't form a meaningful connection with someone simply because they've been with someone else, that is a direct reflection upon your insecurities and your flaws, not theirs.

if somebody is used by somebody else, that is not my fault, that not my flaw. I would want a new one rather than a second hand. if somebody is a second hand, that is their problem, not mine.

Let's talk about the waste argument...
This is perhaps the most disgusting way to look at another human being imaginable. No human is someone's waste.

first of all, that was an irony, euphemism. do not take it literally. a man to whom I replied said that "if you face her ex, that his loss (your wife) is your gain" so, if somebody can be loss of somebody else, why that somebody can not be waste of somebody?! for ex: I use something, after I over, I throw it into the rubbish. the same can be done with people:

I am a boss, I use somebody, I used that person then I threw him since I do not need him/her anymore. why cant I do this with a woman?! I might have used a woman as if I wished, I wanted to play with her in my spare time, then after all, I just skipped her. after I finished using, then like a waste, I skipped her.

Each and every human has an intrinsic value that can't be taken from us.
I am a boss, I use somebody, I used that person then I threw him since I do not need him/her anymore. why cant I do this with a woman?! I might have used a woman as if I wished, I wanted to play with her in my spare time, then after all, I just skipped her. after I finished using, then like a waste, I skipped her. (in the smae way, a woman can use a man too)

You're attempting to deprive women of their human dignity by looking at them in that way.
no, do not take that literally. if somebody can be said "loss of somebody" somebody can also be "waste of somebody"

By looking at them as objects that are discarded by another.
not only objects can be discarded by others, people can also be. I use somebody, I make somebody to be use of mine for purposes and then if I ugnore him, like an ubgratefull person...

You are granting human dignity to the male, yet the female is somehow less than, is disposable, is an object.
I am not granting dignity to either sex, if a woman wants a virgin man too, I will be more than glad. women has also right to look for a man with dignity rather than a second hand. I am not against that.

This way of thinking reflects poorly upon you.
no, the way you (all think) reflects poorly upon you. you wanna destroy the dignity of humanity by such excuses.

The only way we should be judged is by how we treat others.
to value virginity is what you wanted to be judged by. why do we not marry a clean one instead of a one who treated others as he/she is going to treat like his/her spouse?!

The indignity you show those of the opposite sex is the same indignity they should see in you.
I would be happy if women also look for a clean man instead of a second hand. why are you all mentioning this?! does the thread say that "women have no such right?!"

Comparing a woman who has shared their bedroom with another man in a loving relationship to a prostitute is a completely false analogy as well....

yes, that is. I agree with you on this.

Even if the woman really was a prostitute, she still has her human dignity, and judging her past is none of your concern.

right I agree that a prostitye can have human dignity. there is no such thing like "if somebody is prostitute, then she is not worthy to be seen as human with dignity" and e.t.c

if you are too insecure to be with a woman simply because she's had sex with someone else, that is on you and you alone. It has nothing to do with her. That is a fault solely with you.

I am not insecure, may be you are such dishonorable who can ignore his wife having a sex or had a sex with somebody, but I am a man with dignity, I am not such dishonorable. what if I am having sex with your wife?! if I make her pregnant?! or if I am ejaculating into her body?! and what if I did this all in the past?!

How could you ever expect to be shown love and dignity when you deny others the same?
since I did not deny, I can make predictions. can be expected. in order to be shown love, are two pairs to be 100% the same?!

when you make value judgement about being better or worse simply because they have been with someone else?
yes, if somebody became with somebody else and I did not be with somebody else, I am clean and that one is second hand (if not 3rd, 4th, 5th :D)

What of she dumped him, is she still waste?
first of all, I never intended anybody who became with somebody is a waste of the one who he/she became with. I said "may be", may be she really was his loss, may be she was his waste. but the fact remains: she became with somebody else and a second hand.

What if her significant other died, is she waste then?
no.

Even if she was "used" is that really a poor reflection upon her?
yes.

Shouldn't that reflect poorly on the man for being deceitful?
yes, that should. but still, it does not change anything, no matter by whom she was used, she is used and a second. may be that was not her fault, but it does not make her clean. that is why "to date with somebody" is the thing we avoid, especially women. may be a woman can be cheated and left by a deceitfull man, in order to avoid such plights, women had better to avoid dating.

And shouldn't it reflect more highly on her for being loyal and loving?
may be.

The intrinsic value of a person is all that matters. You are too concerned with what happens in the bedroom and not concerned enough what happens outside of it
great logical fallacy. I am concerned with everything. just because I did not mention others does not mean I ignore them. I may be concerning everything but talking about one thing.

Relationships aren't all about sex.
yes, right.

The values we have and connections we make outside the bedroom are far more important.
yes, they also are important like virginity, like being clean, like not being second hand.

Your rebuttal to sexuality being learned is probably the best example of how you view women as objects
I never see someone as an object. the things you wrote here shows how you ignore dignity, how you justify impurity?!

It's not about a woman learning how to please you. You have nothing to do with her sexuality. It's about her learning what it is that pleases her.
right, I am not talking about what you think I am talking about. the point is: why should I please or be pleased by somebody who is done by others?! it is better to have a clean one rather than a used one by somebody else.

What she likes, wants, and needs from a sexual relationship. While I agree that some of that can be learned through Masturbation as one user pointed out, how will she know if she likes dirty talk, bandage, etc?... That is something you learn through experience
that is what makes being virgin morally and physically specialty. you will learn and be taught with the one who is you spouse. not by others.
"I'm not as soft or as generous a person as I would be if the world hadn't changed me" Bobby Fischer