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Better to be respected or liked?

innomen
Posts: 10,052
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7/9/2010 8:54:02 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Is it more important to you that people respect you or like you? Can you have one without the other? I could put this in the politics category and would the tone would be the same or different in responses?

Personally, i have come to value earned respect more than being liked. I have also come to know that people will like you more when it isn't so important to you. Not that hard to get thing, but rather people pleasers are kind of a turn off.
cjl
Posts: 1,073
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7/9/2010 8:55:21 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 7/9/2010 8:54:02 AM, innomen wrote:
Is it more important to you that people respect you or like you? Can you have one without the other? I could put this in the politics category and would the tone would be the same or different in responses?

Personally, i have come to value earned respect more than being liked. I have also come to know that people will like you more when it isn't so important to you. Not that hard to get thing, but rather people pleasers are kind of a turn off.

Respect, yes. Like, no.
badger
Posts: 11,793
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7/9/2010 8:59:33 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 7/9/2010 8:54:02 AM, innomen wrote:
Is it more important to you that people respect you or like you? Can you have one without the other? I could put this in the politics category and would the tone would be the same or different in responses?

you can gain respect through fear aswell as other things, so yeah you can have one without the other.

Personally, i have come to value earned respect more than being liked. I have also come to know that people will like you more when it isn't so important to you. Not that hard to get thing, but rather people pleasers are kind of a turn off.

i'm not sure which i value most. i suppose that there are a lot more people who i'd rather just be respected by than have a close relationship with, but friends are still fairly important to me.
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belle
Posts: 4,113
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7/9/2010 11:04:39 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
if i can't have both i'd rather be respected. when i imagine being like one of those people who are pleasant enough but that not respected, i feel a sense of disgust.

but i am not sure "like" is the right term for someone you don't respect. it can be pleasant to be around the person, but at the same time you have it in your head that theres something pathetic about them. i enjoy being around some people even though i don't respect them in the slightest, and it so happens that i usually enjoy myself around them against my will. i don't think i *should* enjoy the company of people i don't respect. and i usually wouldn't say (or admit?) that i like them...

i think a certain level of liking flows from feeling respect, at least for me. if they are separable at all, its only to a small degree.
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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7/9/2010 11:16:32 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Ideally both.

If I had to choose one of the other, my heart and personality says liked, my brain says respect.

As a person of low self-esteem I concern myself solely with how I am liked, and accord no value to respect, as a result I am treated accordingly and it is demoralising. The mistake I make is in forgetting that all social interaction is on one level a power struggle.
I am voting for Innomen because of his intelligence, common sense, humility and the fact that Juggle appears to listen to him. Any other Presidential style would have a large sub-section of the site up in arms. If I was President I would destroy the site though elitism, others would let it run riot. Innomen represents a middle way that works, neither draconian nor anarchic and that is the only way things can work. Plus he does it all without ego trips.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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7/9/2010 12:25:22 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Depends on the situation. Those that use fear to try and get respect, I might act like I respect them, for a while but I'm thinking how disgusting they are, how much I hate them. I will tell others that and will tell it to their face, once I no longer have a purpose in being around them, and they cannot bully me any more.

I only respect people that I like, but I don't respect everyone I like.

So most of the time, I choose to be liked over respected. Respect comes from earning it, through your actions, like comes from being yourself and others liking who you are.

However with my siblings who do not respevt me at all, will not do anything I say, flat out say "nope." or "make me" I'd really rather have respect than be liked. (I babysit almost all the time)
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
cjl
Posts: 1,073
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7/9/2010 12:30:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 7/9/2010 12:25:22 PM, lovelife wrote:
Depends on the situation. Those that use fear to try and get respect, I might act like I respect them, for a while but I'm thinking how disgusting they are, how much I hate them. I will tell others that and will tell it to their face, once I no longer have a purpose in being around them, and they cannot bully me any more.

I only respect people that I like, but I don't respect everyone I like.

So most of the time, I choose to be liked over respected. Respect comes from earning it, through your actions, like comes from being yourself and others liking who you are.

However with my siblings who do not respevt me at all, will not do anything I say, flat out say "nope." or "make me" I'd really rather have respect than be liked. (I babysit almost all the time)

I require respect.
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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7/9/2010 1:35:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
You might respect someone for different reasons then you like them and vice versa. Because the reason you like someone may be more frivolous (i.e. they're fun to play basketball with), then I'd say that I'd rather be respected as respect implies admiration for achievement. I'd rather be viewed as an effective individual capable of X,Y and Z, and I'm sure some will like me for it - or there will be people who like me either way even if some don't.
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tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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7/10/2010 1:13:08 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I don't care if people like me, as long as they respect me. Unfortunately respect is hard to get, easy to lose and even harder to regain.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

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Korashk
Posts: 4,597
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7/10/2010 1:25:55 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Both are equally unimportant.
When large numbers of otherwise-law abiding people break specific laws en masse, it's usually a fault that lies with the law. - Unknown
lastrequest691
Posts: 339
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7/10/2010 1:41:31 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I don't care if any people here in Asia like me or respect me- I only care about what the Europeans think about me.

There is my Destiny.
"That song was absolutely waste of talent; you sounded like a wounded animal and who told you to play the guitar by yourself." Simon Cowell
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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7/12/2010 10:05:52 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I would probably prefer to be respected than liked.

Unfortunately, I have done very little to earn people's respect but I am quite well liked - at least in real life, if not on the interweb!
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