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Dealing With Bullying

YYW
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5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)
Tsar of DDO
Varrack
Posts: 2,411
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5/8/2015 8:12:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

I have been bullied, but for several years have been free of it thankfully. I'm curious about your advice, since most people say "go tell an adult" and then the problem is solved.

I doubt you will find some who will admit to actually being bullied at the present moment because most people are not that open about it, even of the Internet.
YYW
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5/8/2015 8:14:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 8:12:26 PM, Varrack wrote:
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

I have been bullied, but for several years have been free of it thankfully. I'm curious about your advice, since most people say "go tell an adult" and then the problem is solved.

Telling an adult will almost never solve the problem. It's naive to think otherwise.

I doubt you will find some who will admit to actually being bullied at the present moment because most people are not that open about it, even of the Internet.

It's different for different people; and I can only speak to how to solve the problem with boys. Girls are horrible to each other too, and I have no idea how to fix that.
Tsar of DDO
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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FaustianJustice
Posts: 6,239
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5/9/2015 12:28:31 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

Have been, by various types across various grades when coming up, and once or twice as an adult at my employ.

For the juvenile aspect: superior display of force. Without fail, this worked. The bully in question stopped until some other bully thought he was more of bully than the cowed bully and the demonstration was again required.

In the work place a flat, monotone, quiet demeanor while asking "are you sure this is the direction you wish to take this?" was usually enough to warrant reflective pause. Injecting "Good, we have work to do" during said pause broke the situation to return to work.
Here we have an advocate for Islamic arranged marriages demonstrating that children can consent to sex.
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Tumblrnatic
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5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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5/9/2015 8:40:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

How would you handle this workplace bullying?

A female employee runs around and grabs men's junk in a sexual manner (not as defense or anything). She is told to stop by management, but is still hyper-sexual towards the men, making them uncomfortable. The manager is afraid to fire her, on account she is the only black worker at that store, and he is currently being sued by the only former black worker of his other store for racial discrimination. (and this lawsuit is bogus, BTW, as the guy was insane)
My work here is, finally, done.
YYW
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5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.
Tsar of DDO
Tumblrnatic
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5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!
YYW
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5/9/2015 8:54:37 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:40:42 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

How would you handle this workplace bullying?

A female employee runs around and grabs men's junk in a sexual manner (not as defense or anything). She is told to stop by management, but is still hyper-sexual towards the men, making them uncomfortable. The manager is afraid to fire her, on account she is the only black worker at that store, and he is currently being sued by the only former black worker of his other store for racial discrimination. (and this lawsuit is bogus, BTW, as the guy was insane)

That's not really bullying so much as it is sexual harassment, and she needs to be fired. If she brings a lawsuit, then she brings a lawsuit. While I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, if what you just told me is true, there is almost no chance she could successfully recover for wrongful termination.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
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5/9/2015 8:56:44 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!

You're right. Curiously, he wonders why I don't like him...
Tsar of DDO
YamaVonKarma
Posts: 7,570
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5/9/2015 9:08:04 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

I'd recommend they make a deal with Satan to gain the power to deal with you.
Your move.
People who I've called as mafia DP1:
TUF, and YYW
Khaos_Mage
Posts: 23,214
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5/9/2015 9:44:46 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:54:37 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:40:42 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

How would you handle this workplace bullying?

A female employee runs around and grabs men's junk in a sexual manner (not as defense or anything). She is told to stop by management, but is still hyper-sexual towards the men, making them uncomfortable. The manager is afraid to fire her, on account she is the only black worker at that store, and he is currently being sued by the only former black worker of his other store for racial discrimination. (and this lawsuit is bogus, BTW, as the guy was insane)

That's not really bullying so much as it is sexual harassment, and she needs to be fired. If she brings a lawsuit, then she brings a lawsuit. While I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, if what you just told me is true, there is almost no chance she could successfully recover for wrongful termination.

Why is harassment not bullying?
What is "cyberbullying" if not harassment online? That is certainly not physical in nature. How do you define bullying?

And, the lawsuit fear was from the other lawsuit, as it would be used as evidence.
And, while you might not care about a lawsuit, corporate cares about a franchisee being sued, and the owner certainly cares about the $25K legal fees for the one lawsuit he was already in. (a lawsuit that had no chance of winning, mind you)
My work here is, finally, done.
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:35:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

Dear God, what have I done...
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
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Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:36:38 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Yes, facetious, of course.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Tumblrnatic
Posts: 26
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5/9/2015 10:36:44 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:35:29 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

Dear God, what have I done...

Apologize to them. Change your ways then come back on! Don't make jokes about bullying.
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:38:14 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 8:56:44 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!

You're right. Curiously, he wonders why I don't like him...

Is it because of those things I said on a debating website those times?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:39:19 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:36:44 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:35:29 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

Dear God, what have I done...

Apologize to them. Change your ways then come back on! Don't make jokes about bullying.

What should I tell them? I said most of the mean things in Klingon, I honestly don't even think they understood them.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:41:05 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 9:08:04 AM, YamaVonKarma wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

I'd recommend they make a deal with Satan to gain the power to deal with you.
Your move.

I've seen The Exorcist like 10 times. I think I'm alright.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
YYW
Posts: 36,391
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5/9/2015 10:42:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 9:44:46 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:54:37 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:40:42 AM, Khaos_Mage wrote:
At 5/8/2015 7:43:58 PM, YYW wrote:
Is anyone here bullied? Would you like me to tell you about how to deal with it?

(Solutions vary depending on a few things.)

How would you handle this workplace bullying?

A female employee runs around and grabs men's junk in a sexual manner (not as defense or anything). She is told to stop by management, but is still hyper-sexual towards the men, making them uncomfortable. The manager is afraid to fire her, on account she is the only black worker at that store, and he is currently being sued by the only former black worker of his other store for racial discrimination. (and this lawsuit is bogus, BTW, as the guy was insane)

That's not really bullying so much as it is sexual harassment, and she needs to be fired. If she brings a lawsuit, then she brings a lawsuit. While I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, if what you just told me is true, there is almost no chance she could successfully recover for wrongful termination.

Why is harassment not bullying?

Because sexual harassment involves a lot of different things... sexual harassment typically involves unwanted or obscene sexual advances, whereas bullying involves using strength or power to hurt someone who is weaker.

Women aren't in a position of power over men by their having "lady parts." But, what she's doing is creating a hostile work environment, which is an objectively reasonable cause to fire someone for. She needs to be fired.

What is "cyberbullying" if not harassment online? That is certainly not physical in nature. How do you define bullying?

And, the lawsuit fear was from the other lawsuit, as it would be used as evidence.

You're basically putting the cart before the horse. She would not have a legally cognizable claim where she was fired for sexually harassing other people. That's what should be written and recorded on the pink slip, and the person who fires her should -really- speak to an attorney in the area where they are located to be sure that everything is in order.

There is certain "magic language" that needs to be used; an attorney can help with that.

And, while you might not care about a lawsuit, corporate cares about a franchisee being sued, and the owner certainly cares about the $25K legal fees for the one lawsuit he was already in. (a lawsuit that had no chance of winning, mind you)

The person who holds the power to fire her should (1) go to an attorney, (2) tell him or her what's going on, and (3) do what the attorney says.

It's really that simple. I can't give you specific advice beyond that, because it would be unethical.
Tsar of DDO
Tumblrnatic
Posts: 26
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5/9/2015 10:43:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:39:19 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:36:44 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:35:29 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

Dear God, what have I done...

Apologize to them. Change your ways then come back on! Don't make jokes about bullying.

What should I tell them? I said most of the mean things in Klingon, I honestly don't even think they understood them.

Okay, if they understood. apologize
YYW
Posts: 36,391
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5/9/2015 10:45:32 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:38:14 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:56:44 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!

You're right. Curiously, he wonders why I don't like him...

Is it because of those things I said on a debating website those times?

Yes. I make room for the possibility that you're different IRL than on here; and you're generally friendly in hangouts, but comments like this are the reason why I don't like you. And that's fine.

You still act like a jackass, and this is an excellent example of that.
Tsar of DDO
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 10:49:31 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:45:32 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:38:14 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:56:44 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!

You're right. Curiously, he wonders why I don't like him...

Is it because of those things I said on a debating website those times?

Yes. I make room for the possibility that you're different IRL than on here; and you're generally friendly in hangouts, but comments like this are the reason why I don't like you. And that's fine.

You still act like a jackass, and this is an excellent example of that.

Unrelated note: These students I'm bullying have fought back. How should I deal with three bullies in my class?
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
YYW
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5/9/2015 10:55:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 10:49:31 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:45:32 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 10:38:14 AM, Maikuru wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:56:44 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:53:35 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/9/2015 8:52:21 AM, YYW wrote:
At 5/9/2015 6:27:23 AM, Tumblrnatic wrote:
At 5/8/2015 10:56:08 PM, Maikuru wrote:
I'm currently bullying three students in my program. What would you tell them, so that I might be prepared?

OMG, that is mean. Leave the site please, we don't have time for bullies.

He was being facetious, but I grant you that his sense of humor is out of touch.... to say the very least.

Especially if a victim reads it!!!

You're right. Curiously, he wonders why I don't like him...

Is it because of those things I said on a debating website those times?

Yes. I make room for the possibility that you're different IRL than on here; and you're generally friendly in hangouts, but comments like this are the reason why I don't like you. And that's fine.

You still act like a jackass, and this is an excellent example of that.

Unrelated note: These students I'm bullying have fought back. How should I deal with three bullies in my class?

Again... I'm not laughing... and I don't think anyone else is. But whatever... I don't feel like doing this today.
Tsar of DDO
Maikuru
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5/9/2015 7:08:10 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 6:57:37 PM, ford_prefect wrote:
Lmao @ this thread...

Maikuru have I ever told you that you are my hero?

This is good. I need allies for when my bullies return. They've formed some sort of union.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

https://i.imgflip.com...
SeventhProfessor
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5/9/2015 7:59:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
What was this a reply to?

At 5/9/2015 7:43:34 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
No, I don't think so.
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Blade-of-Truth
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5/9/2015 8:32:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I agree with YYW's initial reply that going to an adult rarely makes things better. In my experiences, it literally never made things better - and would sometimes actually make things worse.

The best advice is to avoid issues, but sometimes it's just not possible. Sometimes the issues comes to you against your will. Perhaps the bully thinks you look like a nice target, or perhaps you've made yourself a target due to being socially awkward. Whatever the case, this response is only directed at situations that cannot be avoided...

In my experience, I just ended up fighting the bullies. I had an unfair advantage though since I was put in both Taekwondo and Karate throughout my youth (pre-highschool). The thing was, even though I could defend myself, bullies still scared me. So actually building up the courage to fight the first one was really hard. It wasn't until he got personal that I ended up challenging him to a fight. I won that fight, and winning it showed me that it was actually possible to take down bullies. From that point on, I just fought them - either at school in the bathrooms or sports fields were we couldn't get caught, or on the weekends at the local movie theater where everyone would go to hangout.

I don't think it's the best solution though. Nor do I believe that it's a solution that would work for everyone. I'm taller than most (6'1), and had previous training with fighting techniques. So for me, it was the best solution available, and it worked. After my freshman year and a few fights, no-one bullied me anymore, at-least not after I earned a reputation for fighting back. I still had the occasional fights, but never because of bullying.

Also, this only worked because it was physical and with people within reach. I can't speak for cyber-bullying or getting bullied by someone who is untouchable by physical means. There are ways though, especially passive-aggressive ways, to take them down if you have the mind, time, and dedication.
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Vox_Veritas
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5/9/2015 10:14:05 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 5/9/2015 7:59:11 PM, SeventhProfessor wrote:
What was this a reply to?

At 5/9/2015 7:43:34 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
No, I don't think so.

The original question, whether or not whoever responds has been bullied.
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