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13 y.o. suicidal nephew

innomen
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8/28/2010 2:02:39 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I generally don't like doing or reading these sorts of threads, but it's been really slow in here an i figure there are a lot of people here of an age that might be able to provide some insight to me.

I have a nephew who was adopted as a new born, and has pretty much always known he was adopted. My brother and sister-in-law live a very very affluent life with him and his younger brother who was also adopted (different bio parents). This kid has always been kind of unlikeable and unhappy. He isn't apparently gifted or interested in anything at all, doesn't believe in God, seems to be very materialistic and narcissistic. He recently has been expressing some desire to die, and commit suicide.

I've never been particularly close to the kid, or had much desire to be close to the kid, but i do feel badly about him and his situation. At 13 i don't think that suicide ever crossed my mind, but that was back during the medieval period, and American or western society seems to be slightly different now regarding adolescence.

I am less surprised if i hear of something like this with girls, i'm not sure why, but a 13 year old boy thinking of suicide, is that more common than i may think? Is society different with respect to a 13 y.o. than my experience (mid 70's)? An insight into a 13 y.o. mind would be interesting, and even helpful.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
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8/28/2010 2:12:49 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Well about all you can do is show you love him but not be overbearing. Watch and find something he is good at, listen to him, be there for him. I know he's not your kid and you've never been close but if you are worried its what you can do.
Having someone close can do wonders for those kinds of things, and if you find he cuts don't over-react, don't tell him its bad or whatever, because that could lead to worsening depression.
It may just be the people I'm around but most people I am around are guys and most people I'm around are generally depressed, or at least bi-polar.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
InsertNameHere
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8/28/2010 2:15:15 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
This is really a tough situation. :( I've been there, done that. I felt suicidal for a few years when I was about 13 or 14. It could be normal for the age, but I don't know. I would certainly recommend that the kid gets some kind of help though.
innomen
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8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.
studentathletechristian8
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8/28/2010 2:20:31 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Guys during the earlier stages of puberty just want to hang with someone who seems really cool and laid-back. They don't want another parental figure to badger them all the time. They're interested in hanging out, saying dirty jokes, daring each other to do crazy stuff, etc. Just make sure to accept him and don't interrupt his "flow." He has to do things on his own, and he'll really look up to you if you are really patient and relaxed around him. Treat him like an adult. Make him feel like he means something, and that it really does matter that he is here.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:22:15 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Well, taking away the internet or blocking websites is not the solution. If you can subtly influence what he goes on (e.g. recommend here), then that will work. He should try and take up a hobby, computer coding, or maybe an instrument.


Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Well, try and get him involved in activities you like, engage in bonding. Do activities like fishing, going to the cinema, I don't know, something which engages both of you in discussion. You need to earn his trust, so he can open himself to his problems. If I was in his position, I probably wouldn't want my parents to know, take it as a presumption anything he tells you you don't tell his parents unless he specifies otherwise. Try and understand his viewpoint. If he cuts himself, try and reason with him over that. If he feels depressed, ask why and address each situation.

Essentially, you need to recognise this as his problem, and despite what the parents say\want, you need to keep it 1 on 1 until he's ready to tell anything to his parents, if he even tells them anything. But the last thing you want to do is do al of the above, and once you think you've solved the situation, leave him. He could easily relapse.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:22:35 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:20:31 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Guys during the earlier stages of puberty just want to hang with someone who seems really cool and laid-back. They don't want another parental figure to badger them all the time. They're interested in hanging out, saying dirty jokes, daring each other to do crazy stuff, etc. Just make sure to accept him and don't interrupt his "flow." He has to do things on his own, and he'll really look up to you if you are really patient and relaxed around him. Treat him like an adult. Make him feel like he means something, and that it really does matter that he is here.

This.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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8/28/2010 2:22:50 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

I've never been to close to any uncle but about the closest was when I was really young. He took me fishing and went to McDonalds alot. At 13 there is more diversity at what he could be interested in. Find the music he likes, find some thats similar buy him a cd, take him out to eat or get something he likes, or even just talk to him about life and find out what he believes, what he wants, and things like that. It could help tremendously.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
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8/28/2010 2:24:27 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:20:31 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Guys during the earlier stages of puberty just want to hang with someone who seems really cool and laid-back. They don't want another parental figure to badger them all the time. They're interested in hanging out, saying dirty jokes, daring each other to do crazy stuff, etc. Just make sure to accept him and don't interrupt his "flow." He has to do things on his own, and he'll really look up to you if you are really patient and relaxed around him. Treat him like an adult. Make him feel like he means something, and that it really does matter that he is here.

That's very helpful, and at some level i can do that. I just wish the kid wasn't such a pric* to be around. I actually offered to take him to Nicaragua in February which is less of a vacation, and more of a living with the natives sort of time.
innomen
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8/28/2010 2:28:09 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:22:15 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Well, taking away the internet or blocking websites is not the solution. If you can subtly influence what he goes on (e.g. recommend here), then that will work. He should try and take up a hobby, computer coding, or maybe an instrument.


Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Well, try and get him involved in activities you like, engage in bonding. Do activities like fishing, going to the cinema, I don't know, something which engages both of you in discussion. You need to earn his trust, so he can open himself to his problems. If I was in his position, I probably wouldn't want my parents to know, take it as a presumption anything he tells you you don't tell his parents unless he specifies otherwise. Try and understand his viewpoint. If he cuts himself, try and reason with him over that. If he feels depressed, ask why and address each situation.

Essentially, you need to recognise this as his problem, and despite what the parents say\want, you need to keep it 1 on 1 until he's ready to tell anything to his parents, if he even tells them anything. But the last thing you want to do is do al of the above, and once you think you've solved the situation, leave him. He could easily relapse.

I think part of his problems fall within the adoption thing. His mother asked if he would like to meet his bio mother and he said "why would i want to meet the woman who gave me away". I'm thinking that he feels some what isolated regarding this issue, and unique. In this i would have a hard time reaching him, although having feelings of not fitting in and being unique, certainly are in my background.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:29:20 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:28:09 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:22:15 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Well, taking away the internet or blocking websites is not the solution. If you can subtly influence what he goes on (e.g. recommend here), then that will work. He should try and take up a hobby, computer coding, or maybe an instrument.


Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Well, try and get him involved in activities you like, engage in bonding. Do activities like fishing, going to the cinema, I don't know, something which engages both of you in discussion. You need to earn his trust, so he can open himself to his problems. If I was in his position, I probably wouldn't want my parents to know, take it as a presumption anything he tells you you don't tell his parents unless he specifies otherwise. Try and understand his viewpoint. If he cuts himself, try and reason with him over that. If he feels depressed, ask why and address each situation.

Essentially, you need to recognise this as his problem, and despite what the parents say\want, you need to keep it 1 on 1 until he's ready to tell anything to his parents, if he even tells them anything. But the last thing you want to do is do al of the above, and once you think you've solved the situation, leave him. He could easily relapse.

I think part of his problems fall within the adoption thing. His mother asked if he would like to meet his bio mother and he said "why would i want to meet the woman who gave me away". I'm thinking that he feels some what isolated regarding this issue, and unique. In this i would have a hard time reaching him, although having feelings of not fitting in and being unique, certainly are in my background.

Then you need to make him feel welcome. You esentially need to accept him, and get used to the way he operates. He will then feel part of the family unit par se.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:31:58 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:24:27 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:20:31 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:16:08 PM, innomen wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:06:17 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
I attribute these things to the internet. Generally, kids can pick up on things such as pro-suicide material, depressing ideas, etc. easily on the internet. Not that the internet is bad, just it has some negative effects. What are his hobbies? Because if he doesn't use the internet a lot then f*ck.

I'm fairly certain he's on the internet, and he has no hobbies. Plays some sports obligatorily. He's been unhappy for as long as i can remember. It may be just him, but still, yeah the going to the point of suicide could be more of an internet influence.

Let me ask, as a kid, what would you want from an uncle? I mean to say, how would an uncle be sort of cool to a 13 y.o? I may not have any role here, but i've been through some sh1t in my life, and can talk about stuff - again though, i might not be the right person to talk to him at all.

Guys during the earlier stages of puberty just want to hang with someone who seems really cool and laid-back. They don't want another parental figure to badger them all the time. They're interested in hanging out, saying dirty jokes, daring each other to do crazy stuff, etc. Just make sure to accept him and don't interrupt his "flow." He has to do things on his own, and he'll really look up to you if you are really patient and relaxed around him. Treat him like an adult. Make him feel like he means something, and that it really does matter that he is here.

That's very helpful, and at some level i can do that. I just wish the kid wasn't such a pric* to be around. I actually offered to take him to Nicaragua in February which is less of a vacation, and more of a living with the natives sort of time.

To be completely honest, I wouldn't be too fond of being taken to Nicaragua by my Uncle myself.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
studentathletechristian8
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8/28/2010 2:41:24 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:29:20 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:

Then you need to make him feel welcome. You esentially need to accept him, and get used to the way he operates. He will then feel part of the family unit par se.

You need to make him feel accepted and allow him to understand that, although his mother gave him up, he now lives in a very wealthy abundance with people that love him. Sure, his mom gave him away, but it's plausible that she did it for his benefit. She could have been poor, too young, or addicted to some form of drugs.

If he keeps getting depressed, it may be helpful to have one solid, long, highly-toned talk where you make him aware truly of how lucky he is and knowledgeable of the circumstancs that led to his mother abandoning him.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:42:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:41:24 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Sure, his mom gave him away, but it's plausible that she did it for his benefit. She could have been poor, too young, or addicted to some form of drugs.

If he keeps getting depressed, it may be helpful to have one solid, long, highly-toned talk where you make him aware truly of how lucky he is and knowledgeable of the circumstancs that led to his mother abandoning him.

That would just be depressing.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
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8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:41:24 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:29:20 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:

Then you need to make him feel welcome. You esentially need to accept him, and get used to the way he operates. He will then feel part of the family unit par se.

You need to make him feel accepted and allow him to understand that, although his mother gave him up, he now lives in a very wealthy abundance with people that love him. Sure, his mom gave him away, but it's plausible that she did it for his benefit. She could have been poor, too young, or addicted to some form of drugs.

If he keeps getting depressed, it may be helpful to have one solid, long, highly-toned talk where you make him aware truly of how lucky he is and knowledgeable of the circumstancs that led to his mother abandoning him.

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
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8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
studentathletechristian8
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8/28/2010 2:51:41 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:42:30 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:41:24 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Sure, his mom gave him away, but it's plausible that she did it for his benefit. She could have been poor, too young, or addicted to some form of drugs.

If he keeps getting depressed, it may be helpful to have one solid, long, highly-toned talk where you make him aware truly of how lucky he is and knowledgeable of the circumstancs that led to his mother abandoning him.

That would just be depressing.

Not necessarily. If innomen gives him this talk, the child may feel more like an adult in the sense that someone is speaking to him man-to-man without looking down on him. There is no sense in avoiding problems. Sure, it may be depressing for a while, but wounds take time to heal. Once it's out in the open, and you can make him perceive the situation differently, you can help him later on as well.
lovelife
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8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?
And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:51:41 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:42:30 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:41:24 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Sure, his mom gave him away, but it's plausible that she did it for his benefit. She could have been poor, too young, or addicted to some form of drugs.

If he keeps getting depressed, it may be helpful to have one solid, long, highly-toned talk where you make him aware truly of how lucky he is and knowledgeable of the circumstancs that led to his mother abandoning him.

That would just be depressing.

Not necessarily. If innomen gives him this talk, the child may feel more like an adult in the sense that someone is speaking to him man-to-man without looking down on him. There is no sense in avoiding problems. Sure, it may be depressing for a while, but wounds take time to heal. Once it's out in the open, and you can make him perceive the situation differently, you can help him later on as well.

My only issue is that the kid is already depressed, I don't think plunging him further down is going to help him. He needs to feel accepted, and when he stops feeling depressed, then face his demons.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
I-am-a-panda
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8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?

Whenever I have insulted you I Have had a reason. I am not without some shred of honour.

And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?

Because it gets you off the thread and allows for real discussion not based on your hypothetical life.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
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8/28/2010 2:58:29 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?

Whenever I have insulted you I Have had a reason. I am not without some shred of honour.


Lol.

And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?

Because it gets you off the thread and allows for real discussion not based on your hypothetical life.

Yes because dealing with what I said is so much worse then this talk we seem to always have when we mutually post on the same thread.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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8/28/2010 3:01:12 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I think there may be biological reasons for this kind of behavior, if not exposure to awful things at a very young age (I'm wondering how young he was adopted). When I was younger, a 12 year old friend told me that she wanted to have a baby at 14. She also told me that she cut herself. She did indeed get pregnant at 14 (and again at 15, and again at 16) but it was later discovered that she had all kinds of issues including child abuse of a sexual nature and other problems at home.

Point being - The kinds of things your nephew is saying and doing is a good indication of his mental state. Sure there are a lot of b!tchy teens in general, but I think what's normal vs. abnormal should be fairly obvious. Rebellion, a bad attitude and depression is common because remember that teens are extremely over-dramatic. But if he's saying or doing things that go beyond the norm and seem borderline creepy, unhealthy or alarming then maybe he should talk to someone...? I'm not sure it's a bad idea for ALL people to talk to someone.
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I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
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8/28/2010 3:03:34 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 2:58:29 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?

Whenever I have insulted you I Have had a reason. I am not without some shred of honour.


Lol.

And if lol is your only response to that, then +1 point to me.


And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?

Because it gets you off the thread and allows for real discussion not based on your hypothetical life.

Yes because dealing with what I said is so much worse then this talk we seem to always have when we mutually post on the same thread.

What you posted was marginally on topic, but was ripe for derailment. Now, as I see it Innomen has a legitimate and serious problem that me and SAC8 are attempting to help. You thus far have no posted anything Innomen has deemed worthy of consideration.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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8/28/2010 3:07:12 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 3:03:34 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:58:29 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?

Whenever I have insulted you I Have had a reason. I am not without some shred of honour.


Lol.

And if lol is your only response to that, then +1 point to me.


I'm too lazy to find the ones where you stalked and attacked me when I was 100% off topic, but they exist and I believe I called you on them.


And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?

Because it gets you off the thread and allows for real discussion not based on your hypothetical life.

Yes because dealing with what I said is so much worse then this talk we seem to always have when we mutually post on the same thread.

What you posted was marginally on topic, but was ripe for derailment. Now, as I see it Innomen has a legitimate and serious problem that me and SAC8 are attempting to help. You thus far have no posted anything Innomen has deemed worthy of consideration.

What I posted was on topic. Sorry for not being a robot and posting everything and only what you accept, but its my way of helping people, what you posted was just standard, I was responding to SAC8 and expanding what he was saying.

L: How does one know exactly what is normal vs abnormal, especially with teens?
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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8/28/2010 3:11:05 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 3:07:12 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 3:03:34 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:58:29 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:53:26 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:50:37 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:47:13 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:45:51 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:43:41 PM, lovelife wrote:

True true. If I have a kid I'd likely give him to adoption because I don't think I'd be a good parent, and I believe children should have good parents.
Might be pretty similar with her, especially if she wants to meet him.

This isn't your kid, and your not the parent Oprah. Each situation is different.

Obviously dumbass. I'm saying how parents could be looking out for their kid and the thought process behind it. Seriously how much time are you gunna waste trying to insult me?

You're crafting hypothetical scenarios based on your life. This isn't anything near what actually happens, and furthermore, you always do it. You're not helping Innomen, just seeking attention. And I'll insult you as long as you do this.

What about when you insult me for no reason?

Whenever I have insulted you I Have had a reason. I am not without some shred of honour.


Lol.

And if lol is your only response to that, then +1 point to me.


I'm too lazy to find the ones where you stalked and attacked me when I was 100% off topic, but they exist and I believe I called you on them.


And I'm sure it does happen for real, and I'm not seeking attention. Even if I was f*cking seeking attention how is insulting me solving sh*t?

Because it gets you off the thread and allows for real discussion not based on your hypothetical life.

Yes because dealing with what I said is so much worse then this talk we seem to always have when we mutually post on the same thread.

What you posted was marginally on topic, but was ripe for derailment. Now, as I see it Innomen has a legitimate and serious problem that me and SAC8 are attempting to help. You thus far have no posted anything Innomen has deemed worthy of consideration.

What I posted was on topic. Sorry for not being a robot and posting everything and only what you accept, but its my way of helping people, what you posted was just standard, I was responding to SAC8 and expanding what he was saying.


L: How does one know exactly what is normal vs abnormal, especially with teens?

It's not always about YOU! Sheesh.
I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
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8/28/2010 3:12:58 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 3:07:12 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 3:03:34 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:58:29 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 8/28/2010 2:55:33 PM, I-am-a-panda wrote:


Lol.

And if lol is your only response to that, then +1 point to me.


I'm too lazy to find the ones where you stalked and attacked me when I was 100% off topic, but they exist and I believe I called you on them.

And magical unicorns and talking zebras exist too! I just can't find them now.

Yes because dealing with what I said is so much worse then this talk we seem to always have when we mutually post on the same thread.

What you posted was marginally on topic, but was ripe for derailment. Now, as I see it Innomen has a legitimate and serious problem that me and SAC8 are attempting to help. You thus far have no posted anything Innomen has deemed worthy of consideration.

What I posted was on topic. Sorry for not being a robot and posting everything and only what you accept, but its my way of helping people, what you posted was just standard, I was responding to SAC8 and expanding what he was saying.


"If I was X I would do Y because of Z quality I have". This is basically what you do, and adapt it to the situation on hand.

Anyway, this thread is about Innomens problems with his Nephew, so let's keep it to that.
Pizza. I have enormous respect for Pizza.
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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8/28/2010 3:13:42 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 8/28/2010 3:01:12 PM, theLwerd wrote:
I think there may be biological reasons for this kind of behavior, if not exposure to awful things at a very young age (I'm wondering how young he was adopted). When I was younger, a 12 year old friend told me that she wanted to have a baby at 14. She also told me that she cut herself. She did indeed get pregnant at 14 (and again at 15, and again at 16) but it was later discovered that she had all kinds of issues including child abuse of a sexual nature and other problems at home.

Point being - The kinds of things your nephew is saying and doing is a good indication of his mental state. Sure there are a lot of b!tchy teens in general, but I think what's normal vs. abnormal should be fairly obvious. Rebellion, a bad attitude and depression is common because remember that teens are extremely over-dramatic. But if he's saying or doing things that go beyond the norm and seem borderline creepy, unhealthy or alarming then maybe he should talk to someone...? I'm not sure it's a bad idea for ALL people to talk to someone.

since he was 5 he's been like this. Good family, was adopted as a new born, very affluent (maybe too much so). There may be some bio genetic thing going on, we don't know. His mom's a Doctor, an endocrinologist, so she's up on that end of things. He is seeing a therapist, but my faith in therapists are fairly weak - but it's not my kid.