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Homosexuality

Brendan21
Posts: 294
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9/12/2010 2:51:03 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I've noticed people have many opinions about this here on DDO. Please share and discuss them here, though I'm sure this isn't the first thread about this topic. I personally believe that the majority of homosexuals are born that way, and don't choose to be gay. I have a very close gay friend, and I've discussed homosexuality with him a lot, and he believes he was born gay. As for the people that choose homosexuality, who cares? It's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone.
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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9/13/2010 6:02:06 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/12/2010 2:51:03 PM, Brendan21 wrote:
I've noticed people have many opinions about this here on DDO. Please share and discuss them here, though I'm sure this isn't the first thread about this topic. I personally believe that the majority of homosexuals are born that way, and don't choose to be gay. I have a very close gay friend, and I've discussed homosexuality with him a lot, and he believes he was born gay. As for the people that choose homosexuality, who cares? It's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone.

They might be hurting their families but, yeah, if someone wants to be gay let them.
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 6:13:32 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 6:02:06 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 9/12/2010 2:51:03 PM, Brendan21 wrote:
I've noticed people have many opinions about this here on DDO. Please share and discuss them here, though I'm sure this isn't the first thread about this topic. I personally believe that the majority of homosexuals are born that way, and don't choose to be gay. I have a very close gay friend, and I've discussed homosexuality with him a lot, and he believes he was born gay. As for the people that choose homosexuality, who cares? It's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone.

They might be hurting their families but, yeah, if someone wants to be gay let them.

-_-, as far as you "hurt families" goes, I'd just like to point out that I've been hurt alot by homophobia.
I think the person should be more free from homophobia even within the family. Just saying.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 6:20:32 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 6:02:06 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 9/12/2010 2:51:03 PM, Brendan21 wrote:
I've noticed people have many opinions about this here on DDO. Please share and discuss them here, though I'm sure this isn't the first thread about this topic. I personally believe that the majority of homosexuals are born that way, and don't choose to be gay. I have a very close gay friend, and I've discussed homosexuality with him a lot, and he believes he was born gay. As for the people that choose homosexuality, who cares? It's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone.

They might be hurting their families but, yeah, if someone wants to be gay let them.

You make it sound like a conscious effort to hurt one's family, all part of the master plan. It's not like that at all, but there is pain involved almost always; as it is unfortunate that the family must make some decisions on how they will accept or deny their member, but that is upon them. It is far worse for the gay individual to have to conform to the contrary nature of his or her being in order to be accepted within a family, than it is for the family to get over their selfish need for conformity and simply accept.
LeafRod
Posts: 1,548
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9/13/2010 7:41:42 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 6:02:06 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 9/12/2010 2:51:03 PM, Brendan21 wrote:
I've noticed people have many opinions about this here on DDO. Please share and discuss them here, though I'm sure this isn't the first thread about this topic. I personally believe that the majority of homosexuals are born that way, and don't choose to be gay. I have a very close gay friend, and I've discussed homosexuality with him a lot, and he believes he was born gay. As for the people that choose homosexuality, who cares? It's their choice and they aren't hurting anyone.

They might be hurting their families but, yeah, if someone wants to be gay let them.

if the family is getting hurt by such a non-issue they probably deserve it
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/13/2010 7:45:57 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I don't even know why people care so much. If my mom's straight, awesome. I personally don't give a flying f-ck who she has sex with and want my relationship with her to specifically exclude any relevance to her sex life. I wish she could say the same. I don't see why who your child (or cousin, aunt, father, etc.) sleeps with should affect the way you either view or treat them as people. My relationship with me entire family has either been significantly strained or completely eradicated, which is entirely non-sensical and completely unnecessary if you ask me.
President of DDO
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 7:56:04 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 7:45:57 AM, theLwerd wrote:
I don't even know why people care so much. If my mom's straight, awesome. I personally don't give a flying f-ck who she has sex with and want my relationship with her to specifically exclude any relevance to her sex life. I wish she could say the same. I don't see why who your child (or cousin, aunt, father, etc.) sleeps with should affect the way you either view or treat them as people. My relationship with me entire family has either been significantly strained or completely eradicated, which is entirely non-sensical and completely unnecessary if you ask me.

Yeah I don't see the problem. If nothing else parents should be happy that your wont get pregnant at any rate.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
brian_eggleston
Posts: 3,347
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9/13/2010 9:25:34 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 7:45:57 AM, theLwerd wrote:
I don't even know why people care so much. If my mom's straight, awesome. I personally don't give a flying f-ck who she has sex with and want my relationship with her to specifically exclude any relevance to her sex life. I wish she could say the same. I don't see why who your child (or cousin, aunt, father, etc.) sleeps with should affect the way you either view or treat them as people. My relationship with me entire family has either been significantly strained or completely eradicated, which is entirely non-sensical and completely unnecessary if you ask me.

That's a real shame.

I know in my family that if I suddenly turned gay (which isn't likely, by the way) my mum and sister would be absolutely fine with it, but my Dad would be really disappointed. I don't think we'd fall out over it exactly, but he'd be very upset I know.

I don't know how my mates would react - I guess they'd still be friends but we wouldn't go out very often - we usually go to gentlemen's clubs or pubs with strippers on so there wouldn't be much point me going along if I didn't get a thrill out having a pair of thru'penny bits thrust into my face!
Visit the burglars' bulletin board: http://www.break-in-news.com...
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 10:53:10 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 9:25:34 AM, brian_eggleston wrote:
At 9/13/2010 7:45:57 AM, theLwerd wrote:
I don't even know why people care so much. If my mom's straight, awesome. I personally don't give a flying f-ck who she has sex with and want my relationship with her to specifically exclude any relevance to her sex life. I wish she could say the same. I don't see why who your child (or cousin, aunt, father, etc.) sleeps with should affect the way you either view or treat them as people. My relationship with me entire family has either been significantly strained or completely eradicated, which is entirely non-sensical and completely unnecessary if you ask me.

That's a real shame.

I know in my family that if I suddenly turned gay (which isn't likely, by the way) my mum and sister would be absolutely fine with it, but my Dad would be really disappointed. I don't think we'd fall out over it exactly, but he'd be very upset I know.

I don't know how my mates would react - I guess they'd still be friends but we wouldn't go out very often - we usually go to gentlemen's clubs or pubs with strippers on so there wouldn't be much point me going along if I didn't get a thrill out having a pair of thru'penny bits thrust into my face!

Your straight friends would eventually walk away from you. They might be cordial and all, but beyond that, trust me the whole game changes.
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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9/13/2010 11:03:22 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I know in my family that if I suddenly turned gay (which isn't likely, by the way) my mum and sister would be absolutely fine with it, but my Dad would be really disappointed. I don't think we'd fall out over it exactly, but he'd be very upset I know.:

There is a decent chance that my son is gay (he's still very young), only he doesn't quite understand it because he has not matured sexually. I love him more than I could ever articulate, and there's nothing that would ever make that change. If you've seen my posts before concerning homosexuality, you'd know that I fully support gay rights.

That said, I don't think it is unreasonable for parents to be a little upset that their child is gay. The optimal situation would be that he was straight so that I can relate to him. I like metal, I like MMA, I like guns... To a large extent I'm a fairly stereotypical heterosexual man, and it would be nice to relate to him on that level when he gets older.

BUT even supposing he is straight, there is an excellent chance that he just won't like to play drums like his old man, or be interested in guns, or athletics. Although that would be optimal to MY reference, he certainly has no obligation to like things that I like -- that includes vagina's.

So I guess my question to DDO's resident homosexuals, would you find it reasonable to never stigmatize your gay child, always love them unconditionally, but also feel a little disappointed that they're gay? Do you think that might be a natural response, or am I being unreasonable?
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
badger
Posts: 11,793
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9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P
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innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 12:17:53 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 11:03:22 AM, PARADIGM_L0ST wrote:
I know in my family that if I suddenly turned gay (which isn't likely, by the way) my mum and sister would be absolutely fine with it, but my Dad would be really disappointed. I don't think we'd fall out over it exactly, but he'd be very upset I know.:

There is a decent chance that my son is gay (he's still very young), only he doesn't quite understand it because he has not matured sexually. I love him more than I could ever articulate, and there's nothing that would ever make that change. If you've seen my posts before concerning homosexuality, you'd know that I fully support gay rights.
Not sure what brings you to this way of thinking.

That said, I don't think it is unreasonable for parents to be a little upset that their child is gay. The optimal situation would be that he was straight so that I can relate to him. I like metal, I like MMA, I like guns... To a large extent I'm a fairly stereotypical heterosexual man, and it would be nice to relate to him on that level when he gets older.
I do understand and you're not being unreasonable in how you feel. Actually, if you are at this level of introspection you are quite reasonable. It might be nice for him to be more like you, i think that's fairly normal for a father, but things don't always work out the way you expect them to.
Here's the thing. I'm gay and my father was straight. I am more like my father in so many ways its scary. I look like him, i share his tastes and talents. So, it may be true that in the area of sexual orientation we were different, in every other way i am like him, or as he was. I continue to share (too many) of his characteristics. He was my father and that cannot be changed. I think if you can get by this, you will find far more in your life that you can bond with than those things that you cannot. From what i know of you in this forum, i am guessing that there is more to you than your sexual orientation. Who knows, even in that you may find some similarities.

BUT even supposing he is straight, there is an excellent chance that he just won't like to play drums like his old man, or be interested in guns, or athletics. Although that would be optimal to MY reference, he certainly has no obligation to like things that I like -- that includes vagina's.

So I guess my question to DDO's resident homosexuals, would you find it reasonable to never stigmatize your gay child, always love them unconditionally, but also feel a little disappointed that they're gay? Do you think that might be a natural response, or am I being unreasonable?
You can only do what you are capable of doing. I respect your desire to try and be the most you can for your son no matter what. I will also tell you that it's a shi*ty feeling to disappoint your father for something that is beyond your control. It is the nature of father and sons. You seem like a good guy with an open mind, and that's better than most have in this area.
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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9/13/2010 12:20:13 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)
Not necessarily.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 1:57:15 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.

It's a guy thing. It reflects on the father how manly his son is. Sons are always an extension of their father, and it's fairly deep. By that same token, sons want their fathers to be proud of them, not disappointed.
Zetsubou
Posts: 4,933
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9/13/2010 2:02:45 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I hold the most totable, 'anti homosexual' views on DDO, if not, mirza does. I'm not going to post on this thread because sh1tstorm with 8 different liberals will ensue.

My Debate with theLwerd is about 2 months late... my full argument will be in there. The first is a about cause, the second is about pathology.
'sup DDO -- july 2013
Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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9/13/2010 2:05:55 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:02:45 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
I hold the most totable, 'anti homosexual' views on DDO, if not, mirza does. I'm not going to post on this thread because sh1tstorm with 8 different liberals will ensue.

My Debate with theLwerd is about 2 months late... my full argument will be in there. The first is a about cause, the second is about pathology.
I am not "anti-homosexual."
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 2:09:50 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 1:57:15 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.

It's a guy thing. It reflects on the father how manly his son is. Sons are always an extension of their father, and it's fairly deep. By that same token, sons want their fathers to be proud of them, not disappointed.

I can see it, I really can, but I don't see how one aspect is such a big deal.

I mean it even happens with straights. Fathers tend to have an idea of who they want their son to like. My bfs dad was never happy with him because he always wanted him to have a skinny blonde gf.
Then before he found out about me he died. I guess some people aren't meant to be made happy.

In any case I can see how it would decrease ego, but in the long run as long as you put his needs and wants, irst, then you should be fine.
Pressure is not a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 2:16:18 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:09:50 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:57:15 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.

It's a guy thing. It reflects on the father how manly his son is. Sons are always an extension of their father, and it's fairly deep. By that same token, sons want their fathers to be proud of them, not disappointed.

I can see it, I really can, but I don't see how one aspect is such a big deal.

I mean it even happens with straights. Fathers tend to have an idea of who they want their son to like. My bfs dad was never happy with him because he always wanted him to have a skinny blonde gf.
Then before he found out about me he died. I guess some people aren't meant to be made happy.

In any case I can see how it would decrease ego, but in the long run as long as you put his needs and wants, irst, then you should be fine.
Pressure is not a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships.

The male ego isn't complicated, actually it's amazingly simplistic. It is more unnatural for a guy to deviate from his ego than otherwise. Always think that a son is an idealized extension of his dad. Not only does he have to be good, he has to be everything he wasn't. This is an extreme of course; usually it's far more mild. Different cultures though are even more brutal. My partner is Latino, and forget it. He actually has some....well i had better shut up in case he logs on and takes a look.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 2:20:21 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:16:18 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:09:50 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:57:15 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.

It's a guy thing. It reflects on the father how manly his son is. Sons are always an extension of their father, and it's fairly deep. By that same token, sons want their fathers to be proud of them, not disappointed.

I can see it, I really can, but I don't see how one aspect is such a big deal.

I mean it even happens with straights. Fathers tend to have an idea of who they want their son to like. My bfs dad was never happy with him because he always wanted him to have a skinny blonde gf.
Then before he found out about me he died. I guess some people aren't meant to be made happy.

In any case I can see how it would decrease ego, but in the long run as long as you put his needs and wants, irst, then you should be fine.
Pressure is not a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships.

The male ego isn't complicated, actually it's amazingly simplistic. It is more unnatural for a guy to deviate from his ego than otherwise. Always think that a son is an idealized extension of his dad. Not only does he have to be good, he has to be everything he wasn't. This is an extreme of course; usually it's far more mild. Different cultures though are even more brutal. My partner is Latino, and forget it. He actually has some....well i had better shut up in case he logs on and takes a look.

I understand male ego, just putting my advice for P_L. You can't ever really get rid of that nature, but what you can do is try to not hurt him with it. Especially if he's gay. Gays tend go through a lot as is and probably need the family support. Well support would definately help.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 2:24:55 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:20:21 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:16:18 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:09:50 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:57:15 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 1:39:10 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 12:19:18 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/13/2010 11:13:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 9/13/2010 10:22:01 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
At 9/13/2010 9:38:31 AM, badger wrote:
homosexuality is gay!

I was about to post this, thinking that I would be clever. Then I arrive at your comment, and I am demoralized to learn that I've been preempted.

i've said it already in a few of the other homosexuality threads we've had too :P

Well yea, homosexuals are indeed gay afterall. ;)

I had no idea they were so happy today.

Anyway I don't see what the huge disapointment is in seeing that your son may not like girls, unless you were planning on spending bonding time at a strip club.
You can still bond and have similar interests anyway, but I do think its normal for there to be disapointment.
Just remember that even if he is gay, there are still tons of stuff you could have in common. Maybe he will like guns and sports, and stuff like that. Who really knows, each characteristic and interest is individual.

It's a guy thing. It reflects on the father how manly his son is. Sons are always an extension of their father, and it's fairly deep. By that same token, sons want their fathers to be proud of them, not disappointed.

I can see it, I really can, but I don't see how one aspect is such a big deal.

I mean it even happens with straights. Fathers tend to have an idea of who they want their son to like. My bfs dad was never happy with him because he always wanted him to have a skinny blonde gf.
Then before he found out about me he died. I guess some people aren't meant to be made happy.

In any case I can see how it would decrease ego, but in the long run as long as you put his needs and wants, irst, then you should be fine.
Pressure is not a good thing, especially when it comes to relationships.

The male ego isn't complicated, actually it's amazingly simplistic. It is more unnatural for a guy to deviate from his ego than otherwise. Always think that a son is an idealized extension of his dad. Not only does he have to be good, he has to be everything he wasn't. This is an extreme of course; usually it's far more mild. Different cultures though are even more brutal. My partner is Latino, and forget it. He actually has some....well i had better shut up in case he logs on and takes a look.

I understand male ego, just putting my advice for P_L. You can't ever really get rid of that nature, but what you can do is try to not hurt him with it. Especially if he's gay. Gays tend go through a lot as is and probably need the family support. Well support would definately help.

You have no idea, it can be the loneliest life, and yeah, rarely does a gay guy come through it without great pain.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 2:27:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:24:55 PM, innomen wrote:
You have no idea, it can be the loneliest life, and yeah, rarely does a gay guy come through it without great pain.

I have an idea. Most of my friends are guys anyway so I can relate to them, and kind of understand most "guy only" issues.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
innomen
Posts: 10,052
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9/13/2010 2:34:47 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:27:07 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:24:55 PM, innomen wrote:
You have no idea, it can be the loneliest life, and yeah, rarely does a gay guy come through it without great pain.

I have an idea. Most of my friends are guys anyway so I can relate to them, and kind of understand most "guy only" issues.

As dads get older and they see their sons develop they increasingly pass judgment. My father and i weren't close and he died pretty young.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 2:41:17 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:34:47 PM, innomen wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:27:07 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:24:55 PM, innomen wrote:
You have no idea, it can be the loneliest life, and yeah, rarely does a gay guy come through it without great pain.

I have an idea. Most of my friends are guys anyway so I can relate to them, and kind of understand most "guy only" issues.

As dads get older and they see their sons develop they increasingly pass judgment. My father and i weren't close and he died pretty young.

Thats pretty sad. I do see it all the time tho. It starts with small stuff then it just grows into being who ihe was or wanted to be.
From playing sports, being in boy scouts, all the competition things, to having the same interests. I see the push clearly everyday. <oldest of 5, 3 brothers>
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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9/13/2010 3:23:53 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I do understand and you're not being unreasonable in how you feel. Actually, if you are at this level of introspection you are quite reasonable. It might be nice for him to be more like you, i think that's fairly normal for a father, but things don't always work out the way you expect them to.:

Nope, they don't. But I'm sure my father would have preferred me to be interested more interested in airplanes and finance, like he is. Not the end of the world.

From what i know of you in this forum, i am guessing that there is more to you than your sexual orientation. Who knows, even in that you may find some similarities.:

Yes, I don't believe we should ever be defined by our sexuality as the sum of our parts. I will accept him no matter what.

You can only do what you are capable of doing. I respect your desire to try and be the most you can for your son no matter what. I will also tell you that it's a shi*ty feeling to disappoint your father for something that is beyond your control.:

True, but an even worse feeling to disappoint him for things that you cancontrol, sexual orientation not being one of them.

It is the nature of father and sons. You seem like a good guy with an open mind, and that's better than most have in this area.:

Then I must be doing something right, thanks :)
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
Zetsubou
Posts: 4,933
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9/13/2010 3:36:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 2:05:55 PM, Mirza wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:02:45 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
I hold the most totable, 'anti homosexual' views on DDO, if not, mirza does. I'm not going to post on this thread because sh1tstorm with 8 different liberals will ensue.

My Debate with theLwerd is about 2 months late... my full argument will be in there. The first is a about cause, the second is about pathology.
I am not "anti-homosexual."

Terms are terms, play with them, it's not literal.
'sup DDO -- july 2013
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/13/2010 3:38:35 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/13/2010 3:36:07 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:05:55 PM, Mirza wrote:
At 9/13/2010 2:02:45 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
I hold the most totable, 'anti homosexual' views on DDO, if not, mirza does. I'm not going to post on this thread because sh1tstorm with 8 different liberals will ensue.

My Debate with theLwerd is about 2 months late... my full argument will be in there. The first is a about cause, the second is about pathology.
I am not "anti-homosexual."

Terms are terms, play with them, it's not literal.

Well its like calling atheists anti-theists. Its not always true. <just letting you know his side>
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave