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Best Ways to Parent

bsh1
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10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

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ESocialBookworm
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10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

Don't neglect them, but don't pamper them.
Make sure they read a lot.
If they become fan-people, you're doing it right.

Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.
Don't let them get pregnant.

Spank them when necessary.
You're their parent, not necessarily their friend...
BUT make sure to have some element of trust and love in there.

---

If they become psychopaths...
Get a pig farm...
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
bsh1
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10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

Don't neglect them, but don't pamper them.

How much pampering is too pampering?

Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

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1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 1:17:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Never, never hit. Hitting instills a few things in children: fear, resentment, and perhaps eventually acceptance - so the cycle of abuse can continue.

People are vulnerable - children especially so. So for a child to fear their parents is the easiest way to get them to do something like kill themselves.

For a child to resent their parents is less bad, because resentment and not fear will be less likely to lead to as severe events as suicide, but they both lead to children trying to escape their respective hells.

For a child to accept that hitting is a good way to go about parenting is the worst thing of all. They will hit their children, they're more likely to hit other family - such as their wives or husbands, and they are then at risk to get hurt - or eventually hurt others.

---

Aside from that point, I'd generally go about parenting by having a child learn as much as possible by certain ages. I would not stand for a politically illiterate twelve year old.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

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thett3
Posts: 14,334
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10/5/2015 1:19:12 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...
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#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

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: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
bsh1
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10/5/2015 1:19:35 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:17:02 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
Never, never hit. Hitting instills a few things in children: fear, resentment, and perhaps eventually acceptance - so the cycle of abuse can continue.

Agreed.

Aside from that point, I'd generally go about parenting by having a child learn as much as possible by certain ages. I would not stand for a politically illiterate twelve year old.

Lol. I think that parents should try to expose kids to politics and philosophy, as well as literature.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
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bsh1
Posts: 27,503
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10/5/2015 1:21:17 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:19:12 AM, thett3 wrote:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...

That is truly horrifying.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

Don't neglect them, but don't pamper them.

How much pampering is too pampering?

Making them spoilt.
Don't give them anything and everything they want, just because they ask for it.
Teach them if they do good, they'll earn good.

Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 1:33:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I can't even laugh at that because I know people that believe in some of that, despite the ridiculousness of the satire there - a lot of people are like that.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

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TheProphett
Posts: 520
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10/5/2015 1:34:17 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

Instill conservative beliefs and emphasize the Southern Confederate Heritage that is their birthright.
Topics I would like to debate: https://docs.google.com...

Epic Quotes:

She's a cunning linguist, but I'm a master debater - Austin Powers


Economic Forum Revival Co-Leader

If you are interested in starting a political journal for the site, please contact me.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 1:46:48 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.

Read the last two sentences.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/5/2015 1:48:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:46:48 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.

Read the last two sentences.

I don't believe a slap on the wrist is gateway for abuse.
But I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree, because we're both going to be pretty stubborn in our positions :P
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 1:49:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:48:36 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:46:48 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.

Read the last two sentences.

I don't believe a slap on the wrist is gateway for abuse.
But I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree, because we're both going to be pretty stubborn in our positions :P

I know well by now that it is.
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
ford_prefect
Posts: 4,137
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10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/5/2015 2:15:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.

I agree with this.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,098
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10/5/2015 2:26:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.

How many parents just "lightly spank"?
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
ford_prefect
Posts: 4,137
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10/5/2015 2:30:07 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:26:59 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.

How many parents just "lightly spank"?

A lot, mine for example
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,354
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10/5/2015 2:33:16 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:30:07 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
At 10/5/2015 2:26:59 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.

How many parents just "lightly spank"?

A lot, mine for example

^
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/5/2015 3:52:22 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Intelligence is genetic, so I'm not sure you can influence that. Well as long as people are properly nourished it's genetic.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/5/2015 3:55:02 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

Don't neglect them, but don't pamper them.

How much pampering is too pampering?

Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

I really disagree with this. Spanking is typically done wrong, but when used appropriately, not out of anger it's effective.

The misconception that it's bad comes from the fact that most parents that spank, do it out of anger or when they're emotional, or they don't have a strict set of rules and the rules are just whatever the parent feels like at the time.
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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10/5/2015 4:01:37 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:49:23 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:48:36 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:46:48 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.

Read the last two sentences.

I don't believe a slap on the wrist is gateway for abuse.
But I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree, because we're both going to be pretty stubborn in our positions :P

I know well by now that it is.

BS, a slap on the wrist can end there, there is no reason for it to go beyond that. If a parent is emotional while doling out corporal punishment, perhaps this could happen, but if you do it while emotion or out of anger, you're already doing it wrong.
Vox_Veritas
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10/5/2015 4:02:25 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
As far as spankings go, people these days just instinctively look at spankings as inherently abusive. I just can't really bring myself to agree; nothing about spankings that I've personally witnessed and experienced would I consider to be abusive. Is corporeal punishment rough? Sure. To sensitive modern tastes it looks barbaric. But people need to see it for what it is (as horrible as this may sound, children need to be brainwashed to be moral because human beings have a natural bias towards, selfish, pleasurable, idiotic choices that often bring about some form of harm towards others). I'm sure that many parents go too far, and a spanking should never be administered while under emotional influences (though to be fair many kids skew tales of corporeal punishment to portray their parents as monsters).
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Wylted
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10/5/2015 4:03:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:26:59 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 2:08:40 AM, ford_prefect wrote:
There's a huge difference between child abuse and disciplinary spanking. Of course some parents beat their kids, and that's definitely a bad thing. However, many parents who spank their children are not going to cross that line. If anything, many children today do not get disciplined enough. Obviously once a child is old enough to be reasoned with, a good parent should be able to raise them without resorting to physical punishment. But before that age, light spanking can be an effective tool that doesn't cause serious long term harm.

How many parents just "lightly spank"?

It doesn't matter. The argument is about whether it can ever be or ever had been appropriately done. Most parents raise their kids wrong, no matter what technique they use.
Wylted
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10/5/2015 4:06:41 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I mean my dad beat me with a belt and out of anger. He clearly did it in an inappropriate way, but even the non physical stuff was abuse: he'd deprive me of sleep, told me how horrible my mom was and repeated the same phrases over and over while depriving me of sleep. The point is that the abusive stuff certainly happens regardless of the parenting philosophy, but both spanking and non spanking can be used appropriately without any harmful longterm effects or visa versa.
Wylted
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10/5/2015 4:09:27 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
What are the "best" strategies to parenthood? What are some dos and don'ts of parenting? How do you raise kids to be successful, ethical, and intelligent? I would appreciate all thoughts and contributions.

One thing I think parents do wrong is count down from three. I believe that yes means yes and no means no, and that if a kid disobeys, regardless of your method of punishment, he should be punished immediately, atleast until they are able to use reasoning skills.
thett3
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10/5/2015 4:13:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 1:21:17 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:19:12 AM, thett3 wrote:
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net...

That is truly horrifying.

Lol he's just joking though...I think

I don't buy that good parents should *never* hit their children, but it certainly isn't always a fail safe solution. It's all about what works on the child. Spanking didn't work on me, it just made me angry--my parents could have MADE it work by having it hurt a lot but that would've crossed a line. The point of spanking isn't always the pain, it's the show of dominance and sometimes that strategy just doesn't really work.

I know my parents got paddled at school (incidentally, lots of school districts in Texas still paddle kids and several of my friends who moved in here had experience with it) and while it did hurt to some extent, the humiliation and lack of power is what really drove the lesson home to them when they were paddled. My grandfather told me how they used to beat their knuckles with a stick until they bled. That I definitely think is excessive.

The point is, some children respect and learn from the moderate use of force and others just don't unless it's too much force. I would have learned from having my knuckles whipped until they bled but I would prefer that parents/teachers explore other options. It all comes down to what works with the child
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1harderthanyouthink
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10/5/2015 4:18:49 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 4:01:37 AM, Wylted wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:49:23 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:48:36 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:46:48 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:45:00 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:40:17 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:31:17 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:03:25 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 10/5/2015 1:00:29 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 10/5/2015 12:57:55 AM, bsh1 wrote:
Don't let them do drugs until they're old enough.

Why not instill a "no drugs at all" mentality?
Would you rather them go to the bar, with bikers, with tattoos, and sperm, to get high and drunk and pregnant?
(I cannot for the life of me remember where that joke was from...)

Spank them when necessary.

No. Annie. That is fundamentally bad parenting, and I will debate you on this if need be.

You'll win because that's what people believe.
A slap on the wrist now and then isn't the same as completely abusing someone Brian.

Annie, I love you. But you're blind on this issue. I have a friend who was going to stab his mother if she ever attacked him again. His father divorced his mother because she went batshit and abused their kids. He lives with his father now.

If you recall the kid who bullied me in school last year - his parents abuse him. He gets into trouble sometimes so he will go home later in the day.

You know my mother, right? She applies the logic of the post here. "A little hit isn't abuse" - until she balls up her fist and goes for the face. But, it's still not abuse, because it's the way she was raised. She said her father would slam her into walls if she disrespected him. It's "discipline" until human inability to control oneself kicks in. And even the small hits are ineffective.

As I said, I don't mean outright abuse.

A slap on the wrist isn't that bad, IMHO.

Read the last two sentences.

I don't believe a slap on the wrist is gateway for abuse.
But I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree, because we're both going to be pretty stubborn in our positions :P

I know well by now that it is.

BS, a slap on the wrist can end there, there is no reason for it to go beyond that. If a parent is emotional while doling out corporal punishment, perhaps this could happen, but if you do it while emotion or out of anger, you're already doing it wrong.

That's pretty weak.

So it still can go further, right? Then how about this: if corporal punishment is shown to have many negative effects and little positives, then why should the chance to devolve to outright abuse be taken?
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