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Dad confronts Bullies

MarquisX
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9/28/2010 10:53:49 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
This happened maybe two weeks ago but I wanted to know you guys response and thoughts. The father in question has since apologized. After hearing what they did to his daughter( with cerebral palsy btw) I think he did the right thing. Despite using swear words and threats.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/28/2010 10:59:58 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/28/2010 10:53:49 PM, MarquisX wrote:

This happened maybe two weeks ago but I wanted to know you guys response and thoughts. The father in question has since apologized. After hearing what they did to his daughter( with cerebral palsy btw) I think he did the right thing. Despite using swear words and threats.

I actually saw something about that a while ago. I think he did the right thing, maybe should have handled it slightly better, but he should not be fined, imprisoned, or in any other way punished. Well maybe anger management.
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Cerebral_Narcissist
Posts: 10,806
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9/29/2010 5:09:54 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I would consider violence against children who bully your child perfectly acceptable... as a last resort.
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MarquisX
Posts: 925
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9/29/2010 5:49:05 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 5:09:54 AM, Cerebral_Narcissist wrote:
I would consider violence against children who bully your child perfectly acceptable... as a last resort.

well he filed complaints against the school twice and nothing happened so....and the kids put an open condom on the girls head.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
xxdarkxx
Posts: 3,090
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9/29/2010 10:08:20 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
He reminds me of some fathers i know -_-

Also I see it as perfectly acceptable. I would do the same thing if i had a daughter and someone put an open condom on her head. (cept i would probably just go beat the sh1t out of them in some dark alleyway)
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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9/29/2010 10:13:50 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
I think he did the right thing considering he went to the authorities first and nothing happened. Sometimes kids just need a good swift kick in the butt (metaphorically) and if their parents aren't doing it then someone else's have to (if their child is being negatively harmed and assaulted as a result).
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I-am-a-panda
Posts: 15,380
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9/29/2010 10:21:15 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
In this case it worked, but in some cases (Jessi Slaughter), parents should just let kids clean up their own mess. It's a mixed bag.
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Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/29/2010 10:29:28 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
This sort a thing happened in my middle school. My entire class started picking on this one fat kid, like the number of people messing with him just kept growing everyday. He told his parents and his dad came to school expecting to talk to like 3-4 kids having a problem with his kid. When the dad came to pick the kid up from school, the kid ran out of gym class to his dad, with a quarter of 6th period gym chasing after him. The dad saw the number of kids chasing his son out of school and then HE started running back to his car as well. The next day the mom stepped in, and got a order to remove the guy responsible for everyone picking on her son out of every class the fat kid was in. Dad got no balls lol
Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/29/2010 10:39:23 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
The fact that the daughter has a disability is the only reason why this is acceptable. Normal kids should never have their parents intervene for them.
Caramel
Posts: 855
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9/29/2010 11:24:33 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Loserboi you are obviously still in HS so you have a unique perspective on this.

I don't see any magical line that is crossed with a kid who has a disability and one who doesn't. Kids who are fine can be emotionally damaged from this sort of thing as well. If kids are being abusive, then parents should step in and scare them straight. If the opposing parent has something to say about THAT, then maybe they can also comment on why it is that their child is being abusive in the first place.

I see this problem getting worse. Schools are being more institutionalized, for one thing. Parents are getting more frightened of the reality their kids are being born into, and causing the situation to get worse. I'm surprised that guy didn't get a trespassing charge for getting on the bus, a harassment charge, an assault charge, and then have them all doubled because it was school related. Our children are being sheltered and becoming worse because of it. Kids are not introduced to drugs, prisons, and other harsh realities of life and grow up largely ignorant. They are raised in an individualistic society that favors greed and pride over humility and diligence. Is it any wonder they can't figure out picking on other children is wrong?
no comment
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/29/2010 11:43:03 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 11:24:33 AM, Caramel wrote:
Loserboi you are obviously still in HS so you have a unique perspective on this.

I don't see any magical line that is crossed with a kid who has a disability and one who doesn't. Kids who are fine can be emotionally damaged from this sort of thing as well. If kids are being abusive, then parents should step in and scare them straight. If the opposing parent has something to say about THAT, then maybe they can also comment on why it is that their child is being abusive in the first place.

I see this problem getting worse. Schools are being more institutionalized, for one thing. Parents are getting more frightened of the reality their kids are being born into, and causing the situation to get worse. I'm surprised that guy didn't get a trespassing charge for getting on the bus, a harassment charge, an assault charge, and then have them all doubled because it was school related. Our children are being sheltered and becoming worse because of it. Kids are not introduced to drugs, prisons, and other harsh realities of life and grow up largely ignorant. They are raised in an individualistic society that favors greed and pride over humility and diligence. Is it any wonder they can't figure out picking on other children is wrong?

This. Anyone can be bullied. I have dealt with it my whole life, and it needs to end. And I do agree that censoring and all that other bs plays a huge part in that, along with weaker family ties.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/29/2010 3:20:08 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 11:24:33 AM, Caramel wrote:
Loserboi you are obviously still in HS so you have a unique perspective on this.

I don't see any magical line that is crossed with a kid who has a disability and one who doesn't. Kids who are fine can be emotionally damaged from this sort of thing as well. If kids are being abusive, then parents should step in and scare them straight. If the opposing parent has something to say about THAT, then maybe they can also comment on why it is that their child is being abusive in the first place.

I see this problem getting worse. Schools are being more institutionalized, for one thing. Parents are getting more frightened of the reality their kids are being born into, and causing the situation to get worse. I'm surprised that guy didn't get a trespassing charge for getting on the bus, a harassment charge, an assault charge, and then have them all doubled because it was school related. Our children are being sheltered and becoming worse because of it. Kids are not introduced to drugs, prisons, and other harsh realities of life and grow up largely ignorant. They are raised in an individualistic society that favors greed and pride over humility and diligence. Is it any wonder they can't figure out picking on other children is wrong?

I am in college...

Kids do not get scared from parent intervention. It just makes the entire school sees the kid who needed a parent's assistance as a coward, and a loser. Kids like to talk and when they hear that a kid had to go crying to their parents they lost all chances of ever gaining respect.
Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
Atheism
Posts: 2,033
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9/29/2010 4:01:03 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM, Loserboi wrote:
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
So a kid being bullied by 3-5 people and is on the verge of suicide should not contact an adult?
Your logic is sheer brilliance, I can see it.
I miss the old members.
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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9/29/2010 4:36:07 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I'm with Loserboi to some extent.

I was a fat kid in High School. I got bullied. I was uncool and unpopular.
What is the solution?
I simply ignored it.
Bullys are like trolls. Don't feed them.

If you mum or dad come running down to the school to protect you, thats like feeding the trolls steriods. Much better to take your kid to a karate class and teach him self-defense and all the positives that come with it.

If a child is feeling suicidal, I think the problems must run deeper than school yard bullying.
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Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/29/2010 5:36:01 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 4:01:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM, Loserboi wrote:
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
So a kid being bullied by 3-5 people and is on the verge of suicide should not contact an adult?
Your logic is sheer brilliance, I can see it.

If you think a child's problems are going to go away just because a parent yells at the bully your not very smart either. Its the parents fault in the first place for not teaching the child self confidence, and how to stand up for themselves.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/29/2010 5:49:08 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Well really I can see both sides.

Since I came to the states I was always bullied. Always. Arizona, Oklahoma, Wyoming, other part of Oklahoma, bullied everywhere.

I have only been stood up for twice. Once my mom called the f-ing police, and I'm still getting made fun of for that (kids were throwing rocks at me and my dog and cat, and said they were going to kill me while I was in my front yard)
That didn't work it made it very much worse. It attracted even more bullies from all over the school, instead of just in the neighborhood.

The second time I was in Wyoming and the three of us were at the skating rink when a bully girl kept messing with me. My dad got up and yelled in her face and made her cry. I was only messed with one time again at that school, but that hypocrite was sure to tell her friends my dad would f-ing kill them, and they stopped, completely.

It really depends how its dealt with and by who.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Atheism
Posts: 2,033
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9/30/2010 2:30:03 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/29/2010 5:36:01 PM, Loserboi wrote:
At 9/29/2010 4:01:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM, Loserboi wrote:
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
So a kid being bullied by 3-5 people and is on the verge of suicide should not contact an adult?
Your logic is sheer brilliance, I can see it.

If you think a child's problems are going to go away just because a parent yells at the bully your not very smart either.
Never once did I say that a parent ought to yell at another child. Obviously, what should've been done was for the school board to be contacted, and for the child to be placed in a different school. Now, you haven't posited any arguments on why a parent ought not to in the first place.
Its the parents fault in the first place for not teaching the child self confidence,and how to stand up for themselves.
Oh, yes, it is the parent's fault that a child may have low self esteem. You can't give someone self confidence. And if said child does not have self confidence does not mean you ought to sit idly by as a parent. Your arguments fail on the premise that self-confidence can be easily instilled/given. You also have not shown why it is bad for a parent to stand up for their child. Letting the child be (as a parent) is the worst possible choice.
I miss the old members.
Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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9/30/2010 3:11:29 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/30/2010 2:30:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 5:36:01 PM, Loserboi wrote:
At 9/29/2010 4:01:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM, Loserboi wrote:
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
So a kid being bullied by 3-5 people and is on the verge of suicide should not contact an adult?
Your logic is sheer brilliance, I can see it.

If you think a child's problems are going to go away just because a parent yells at the bully your not very smart either.
Never once did I say that a parent ought to yell at another child. Obviously, what should've been done was for the school board to be contacted, and for the child to be placed in a different school. Now, you haven't posited any arguments on why a parent ought not to in the first place.
I thought I did. Parents should not get involved because that won't teach the kid anything. It makes the kid lose all respect among his peers having to call his parents for help, which will just make him even more alone. If a child just fought back then the bully will eventually stop. The only reason bullies have it so easy most of the time is because the victim does not do anything about it or is too scared to. As humans we tend avoid conflict, if your kid just allows himself to be bullied, he has given the bully a sense of power and superiority. If the person fights back the bully will be less inclined to keep bullying him because why continue trying to pet a dog that will try and bite you? it is too much work to fight someone everyday and it gets you respect.
Its the parents fault in the first place for not teaching the child self confidence,and how to stand up for themselves.
Oh, yes, it is the parent's fault that a child may have low self esteem. You can't give someone self confidence. And if said child does not have self confidence does not mean you ought to sit idly by as a parent. Your arguments fail on the premise that self-confidence can be easily instilled/given. You also have not shown why it is bad for a parent to stand up for their child. Letting the child be (as a parent) is the worst possible choice.

How can self esteem not be given? Coaches give their players self confidence all the time. You hear those gay little 2min speeches before the 4th quarter, about faith in each other, and you can do this, blah blah blah. The players eat that crap up and some how get motivated to fight harder because they are told they can do it. Boxers, all athletes basically are given by coaches self confidence to relieve themselves of doubt when facing a obstacle. I am sure a parent can at least try teach the child some way of standing up for himself. Words of advice.
Atheism
Posts: 2,033
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9/30/2010 3:45:29 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/30/2010 3:11:29 PM, Loserboi wrote:
At 9/30/2010 2:30:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 5:36:01 PM, Loserboi wrote:
At 9/29/2010 4:01:03 PM, Atheism wrote:
At 9/29/2010 3:24:47 PM, Loserboi wrote:
If a parent always steps in to help the child out with their problems what is the child going to learn from this? Kids need to learn to solve their own problems, parent intervention is just further sheltering the child from the outside world.
So a kid being bullied by 3-5 people and is on the verge of suicide should not contact an adult?
Your logic is sheer brilliance, I can see it.

If you think a child's problems are going to go away just because a parent yells at the bully your not very smart either.
Never once did I say that a parent ought to yell at another child. Obviously, what should've been done was for the school board to be contacted, and for the child to be placed in a different school. Now, you haven't posited any arguments on why a parent ought not to in the first place.
I thought I did. Parents should not get involved because that won't teach the kid anything.
It actually does. It teaches a child to go to someone in need of help, and that you have someone to rely upon when you need it.
How will letting the child be bullied each him anything, anyways?
It makes the kid lose all respect among his peers having to call his parents for help, which will just make him even more alone.
First off, why does respect mean anything? Respect does not compensate for physical violence. And, if the child is consistently bullied anyways, why would he have respect in the first place? Bullies do not respect others. If so, you must prove why.
If a child just fought back then the bully will eventually stop.
Proof of this? How do you know the bully in question will not retaliate with greater force, or with assistants?
The only reason bullies have it so easy most of the time is because the victim does not do anything about it or is too scared to.
Proof? And besides, if a victim goes to someone to get help, the bullies would be detained or suspended. You are not backing up your claims whatsoever.
As humans we tend avoid conflict, if your kid just allows himself to be bullied, he has given the bully a sense of power and superiority.
As humans, our nature is to fight amongst each other. If what you are saying is true, why would there be a bully in the first place? Your argument is irrelevant to the parental intervention, anyways. If a child allows himself to be bullied, he is a masochist, or deluded into thinking that said bully will not be detained and punished if the victim does go to someone.
the person fights back the bully will be less inclined to keep bullying him
Proof? Why would the bully not retaliate?
because why continue trying to pet a dog that will try and bite you?
Non-sequitor.
it is too much work to fight someone everyday and it gets you respect.
Non-sequitor. How will it get respect? If you are getting bullied, chances are that you are physically incapable of defending yourself. It will not earn you respect if you are trampled on. Going to someone, and getting rid of the bully without physical harm altogether is a better solution.
Its the parents fault in the first place for not teaching the child self confidence,and how to stand up for themselves.
Oh, yes, it is the parent's fault that a child may have low self esteem. You can't give someone self confidence. And if said child does not have self confidence does not mean you ought to sit idly by as a parent. Your arguments fail on the premise that self-confidence can be easily instilled/given. You also have not shown why it is bad for a parent to stand up for their child. Letting the child be (as a parent) is the worst possible choice.

How can self esteem not be given?
Considering the fact that some children are on medication for depression, some people do not like themselves, etc., I think it can be easily inferred that self esteem can not be given to some people. Even if it is, it will not change anything. The bully will continue to bully, regardless of the victim's measure of self-worth.
Coaches give their players self confidence all the time.
No, they try to. Whether it takes or not depends on the student, and, as I have stated before, it may not take, especially if the student has a prior history of low self-esteem.
You hear those gay little 2min speeches before the 4th quarter, about faith in each other, and you can do this, blah blah blah.
How is it gay? Anyways, this bit is irrelevant.
The players eat that crap up and some how get motivated to fight harder because they are told they can do it.
Correction:The players tend to be motivated. Peer-pressure and the fact that people are relying on you is different. Even so, some may be pessimistic and not self-confident. As such, such talks do not work.
Boxers, all athletes basically are given by coaches self confidence to relieve themselves of doubt when facing a obstacle.
You have not addressed my argument about how it does not take for some.
I am sure a parent can at least try teach the child some way of standing up for himself. Words of advice.
Key word, try. Some people are not motivated by such speeches. I know I am not, I just do it. Speeches do not work on some people.
Aside from that, to get to the main issue, self-esteem does not matter most of the time in face of a bully.
In short:Most of your arguments are irrelevant, and the ones that are relevant, are ultimately wrong.
I miss the old members.
Loserboi
Posts: 1,232
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10/8/2010 4:01:28 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/30/2010 3:45:29 PM, Atheism wrote:

There is no statistical evidence to prove my point at least not one that would work 100% for the majority of the kids getting bullied. I concede, you win, my methods of dealing with bullies won't work for others. But I have seen the parent route and it never results in anything good. The majority of the school will hear about it and brand you as a loser, eliminating any chance of a social life. Go to school everyone talks behind your back calling you a pu$$y. The kid is still miserable. I have seen kids fight for their pride, bullying stops. I don't know i respect a guy willing to defend his own pride and dignity. I base my entire argument on my personal experience