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Sex and Relationships

studentathletechristian8
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10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?
J.Kenyon
Posts: 4,194
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10/1/2010 9:25:54 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

Relationships without a sexual element aren't romantic, they're platonic. It's the sexual element that lends a relationship the "romantic" element. Otherwise, you could call me relationships with some of my really good friends "romantic," which would be both gay and absurd.

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

No.
studentathletechristian8
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10/1/2010 9:30:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:25:54 PM, J.Kenyon wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

Relationships without a sexual element aren't romantic, they're platonic. It's the sexual element that lends a relationship the "romantic" element. Otherwise, you could call me relationships with some of my really good friends "romantic," which would be both gay and absurd.

Very true. I knew that I should not have used that term, but it seemed to me that it would clarify how I felt about sex with relationships in general. Simply, I do not believe we need it.

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

No.

Elaborate.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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10/1/2010 9:31:03 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?

A good relationship doesn't start off about sex but as people get closer sex becomes normal and natural, for them. Thats why there are so many people that have sex with their best friend without planning, or even wanting it to begin with. It just feels right after a while, and then is when it should become sexual. Sex should not make the whole relationship, but it shouldn't be devoid of it either.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
lovelife
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10/1/2010 9:33:22 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:30:30 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:

No.

Elaborate.

Eh, not my point but all I'm saying is that even tho I'm a virgin I know that I don't want to just be masturbating my whole life. If you don't want sex then you don't have to have it.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
studentathletechristian8
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10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:31:03 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?

A good relationship doesn't start off about sex but as people get closer sex becomes normal and natural, for them.

Normal and natural? The "normal" part is a result of one's perceptions of his experiences within society. The "natural" part is clearly debateable.

Thats why there are so many people that have sex with their best friend without planning, or even wanting it to begin with.

I do not know of many best friends who have sex with one another.

It just feels right after a while, and then is when it should become sexual. Sex should not make the whole relationship, but it shouldn't be devoid of it either.

Feels "right?" Is that another perception of one's experiences in regards to society? You see, while our nature may have a predisposition to sexual drive, it does not mean that we need sexual relations in this lifetime. Sure, to continue the species, society at large needs to reproduce. However, the individual does not.

Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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10/1/2010 9:38:35 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:33:22 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:30:30 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:

No.

Elaborate.

Eh, not my point but all I'm saying is that even tho I'm a virgin I know that I don't want to just be masturbating my whole life.

Why doesn't masturbation satiate you?

If you don't want sex then you don't have to have it.

This is not always the case. Leaving out rape, prostitution for the need of stabilizing a lifestyle, and human trafficking, many people feel compelled to have sex simply because it is a societal norm to do so. Many people ignore the detrimental consequences and results that stem from sexual encounters.
belle
Posts: 4,113
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10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....
evidently i only come to ddo to avoid doing homework...
studentathletechristian8
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10/1/2010 9:47:37 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about

Unfortunately, this is quite true. People really need to start realizing what is important and necessary in life rather than focusing on meaningless desires and wants.

(like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck).

People need to put things into perspective. It's silly to squabble over these issues. If your car gets you where you need to be, that is all that really matters. All one needs is a paycheck that supports a simple lifestyle.

second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

To eliminate the sex the way I would like, I need to change society's outlook on sex, nurture children myself, and allow those children to live out lustful desires (for a temporary time period) with masturbation and teach them how we do not need sex in relationships.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.
lovelife
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10/1/2010 9:56:03 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.

Nah, they can become numb to the stimulus I suppose, but the anger/jeaousy etc will always exist. I have tried to be all pacifist/zenesque. I still get angry. Can I control how I REACT to feeling that way? Sure I can. That does not change the feeling.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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10/1/2010 9:59:37 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:56:03 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.

Nah, they can become numb to the stimulus I suppose, but the anger/jeaousy etc will always exist. I have tried to be all pacifist/zenesque. I still get angry. Can I control how I REACT to feeling that way? Sure I can. That does not change the feeling.

Anger / jealousy can become minimized. That is the point. Either we do it my way, or the way of meaningless promiscuity in Brave New World.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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10/1/2010 10:05:49 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:59:37 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:56:03 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.

Nah, they can become numb to the stimulus I suppose, but the anger/jeaousy etc will always exist. I have tried to be all pacifist/zenesque. I still get angry. Can I control how I REACT to feeling that way? Sure I can. That does not change the feeling.

Anger / jealousy can become minimized. That is the point. Either we do it my way, or the way of meaningless promiscuity in Brave New World.

There is nothing wrong with sex between to consenting [adult] parties.
Sure the individual doesn't need sex but if your girl wants it good luck explaining that you don't.
Not saying you will fail, just that it will be hard to find someone.

Would you support it if she wanted to f-ck someone else instead?
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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10/1/2010 10:13:11 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 10:05:49 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:59:37 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:56:03 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.

Nah, they can become numb to the stimulus I suppose, but the anger/jeaousy etc will always exist. I have tried to be all pacifist/zenesque. I still get angry. Can I control how I REACT to feeling that way? Sure I can. That does not change the feeling.

Anger / jealousy can become minimized. That is the point. Either we do it my way, or the way of meaningless promiscuity in Brave New World.

There is nothing wrong with sex between to consenting [adult] parties.

Agreed.

Sure the individual doesn't need sex but if your girl wants it good luck explaining that you don't.

If I do encounter a plausibly situational-romantic relationship, I'm giving it to her straight. You want sex? Fine. Go somewhere else for it.

Not saying you will fail, just that it will be hard to find someone.

People have different reasons for living.

Would you support it if she wanted to f-ck someone else instead?

Sure. Why should I care?
lovelife
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10/1/2010 10:18:27 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 10:13:11 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 10:05:49 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:59:37 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:56:03 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:52:39 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:49:30 PM, lovelife wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Exactly. I am not sexually active but I still get jealous sometimes, so does my bf. Normal human emotions. Nothing will stop or even reduce it.

"Normal human emotions." Once again, I feel that many of our "emotions" are a byproduct of our personal experiences. It also depends on how we look at different issues. Will we look at something with more of an analytical mind or an impulsive one? Things like that.

If one tries, it is relatively easy to reduce jealous, happy, sad, etc. emotions. Humans are resilient, and people can change the way they react to stimulus.

Nah, they can become numb to the stimulus I suppose, but the anger/jeaousy etc will always exist. I have tried to be all pacifist/zenesque. I still get angry. Can I control how I REACT to feeling that way? Sure I can. That does not change the feeling.

Anger / jealousy can become minimized. That is the point. Either we do it my way, or the way of meaningless promiscuity in Brave New World.

There is nothing wrong with sex between to consenting [adult] parties.

Agreed.

Sure the individual doesn't need sex but if your girl wants it good luck explaining that you don't.

If I do encounter a plausibly situational-romantic relationship, I'm giving it to her straight. You want sex? Fine. Go somewhere else for it.

Not saying you will fail, just that it will be hard to find someone.

People have different reasons for living.

Wait, how is this relevent? That is one thing I have stuck with for my whole life basically.

Would you support it if she wanted to f-ck someone else instead?

Sure. Why should I care?

Oh and by everything you posted you are me 5 years ago, congrats lol.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
lovelife
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10/1/2010 10:19:16 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
How many of these rules do you follow?

http://www.funtrivia.com...

I just have to know (not so much rules as life style choice, but still)
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
studentathletechristian8
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10/1/2010 10:22:18 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
I like a couple of the rules such as not harming little children and no adultery. However, I think I disagree with most of the rules. At least, I do not like how they are worded.
lovelife
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10/1/2010 10:27:51 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 10:22:18 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I like a couple of the rules such as not harming little children and no adultery. However, I think I disagree with most of the rules. At least, I do not like how they are worded.

Like what? "When in another?s lair, show him respect or else do not go there." ?
"Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food."

I'm assuming the sexual ones are the ones you say are adultry. What are your problems with all 11? (9?)
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Kleptin
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10/2/2010 4:49:09 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?

There's a big difference between having sex with someone casually and having sex with someone you are in an intimate romantic relationship with. Maturity is a big factor, individually for the parties involved as well as maturity towards the relationship as its own entity.

I've never had sex outside a committed relationship, I've never been a "player", so I have no idea how wanton sex affects people. I can tell you that after a point in a committed relationship, it becomes a major bonding activity. Two people who are really in love seem like they can never get close enough to each other, and sex is just the inevitable result. The two things are linked.

As for your other point, I'm restraining myself from bashing your arguments to subatomic particles, because I'm 90% sure that you're expressing your view without full knowledge of the issue.

Evolution does not place the will of society into the individual. It programs each individual with natural urges that on a wide scale, will eventually lead to the will of society. Sex is in our nature, everything drives us towards sex. It's not a drive to continue the species, or to evolve, it is simply a drive to sex. Denying this is absurd.

As for self-satisfaction, no. Sex feels better by far, if you're doing it right. The hand is a poor substitute.

I don't believe you have any justification for the notion that sex is an overhyped byproduct of society, especially if you've never had it. I'm willing to listen to your arguments.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
PARADIGM_L0ST
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10/2/2010 6:14:55 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?:

Then why even be in a relationship? Obviously people are attracted to members of the opposite sex or same sex because there is an sexual attraction. Anything less is just a friendship, right?

So, again, why even be in a relationship if sex is not involved? Why not just have a friendship if sex is not an important factor?
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
tvellalott
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10/2/2010 9:10:14 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:19:56 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
I know that we have covered this broadly in other threads, but I would like to hear opinions from those who differ in my viewpoint of relationships in general.

It is my belief that the "better" relationships we have in life involve no sex or sexual attraction whatsoever. I even believe that sex should not be a decisive factor in a "romantic relationship."

Yes and no.
You and I aren't going to see eye to eye on this one from the get-go, because I believe that as a Christian, your greatest relationship is with your god, correct?
Regardless, I don't classify relationships by whether there is sex involved, because so few of the relationships in my life do. Obviously some of your best relationships are going to be with your family. You might have a best friend who is a chick. I'm actually still really good friends with my ex, but we are no longer romantically involved.
BUT, the fact remains that for most people the best relationship in their life will be with their husband/wife/defacto partner/whatever and that is going to be a sexual relationship.

You may ask how one can satiate his or her sexual needs in this instance. Won't it lead to sexual frustration? An abomination of avoiding our natural desires? I do not believe this to be the case. I feel that society at large has inculcated specific notions about sex that are quite prevalent and influential at this day in age. We ought to be able to satisfy ourselves well enough to the point that we neither need nor want sexual relations with anyone.

Now you've lost me. Would I be correct in saying you've yet to have sex? The vast, vast majority of humans are very sexual creatures. We love to fvck. I don't quite know what you're getting at, but the idea of not having sex for pleasure is completely abhorent to me. It is one of the few free, healthy and pleasurable things you can do in this world and when it is done right it is amazing. If I had to choose between masturbating when ever I wanted and having great sex once a month, I would choose sex. That's the difference.

Sex tends to screw up relationships. How do other people feel?

Sex changes relationships, thats for sure.
Screwing your best friend can be the start of a beautiful thing and I'm sure there are examples of great, life-long relationships that have started from two people who started out plutonic and graduated to romantic.
However, I'd be very much reluctant to do it myself. I have no personal experience in the matter, but it seems to have a dangerously high chance of ruining the friendship. I'm currently exploring the post-romantic relationship plutonic friendship with my ex and I'm actually rather enjoying it.
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mattrodstrom
Posts: 12,028
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10/2/2010 9:12:52 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/1/2010 9:42:14 PM, belle wrote:
At 10/1/2010 9:36:04 PM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
Think about it. There would be so much less jealousy, insecurities, frustration, etc. if we simply leave out sex as a factor in our daily relationships.

first of all, people have plenty of other things to be jealous and insecure about (like their neighbors with a nicer car, or coworker with a bigger paycheck). second, just because you don't have sex, it doesn't follow that those feelings regarding it will go away. to eliminate sex the way you want to, you would have to rewire the brain....

Genital Mutilation and castration might do the trick :?
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
mattrodstrom
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10/2/2010 9:21:20 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 9:12:52 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
Genital Mutilation and castration might do the trick :?

or not.

I think removing the source of Testosterone would make guys a lot less likely to seek sexual stuff... but it might not make it so they're completely unattracted to gals.

and Genital Mutilation might make gals want to avoid sex... and get a good dose of Psychological trauma if anyone they cared about forced sex with them... to the point where they're so screwed up they're scared like hell of men and sexual feelings/situations.... but it prolly wouldn't have Complete effect...
Though, i'd say it seems there's a greater chance of "unsexing" females in this way... it seems like Sex is more an emotionally heavy thing for women... and if you Junk their emotions through Mutilation and trauma.... that might just Completely change their sexual POV....

so... sac8 what girl is it that you're so interested in and mutilating, abusing, and then castrating yourself for? :/
"He who does not know how to put his will into things at least puts a meaning into them: that is, he believes there is a will in them already."

Metaphysics:
"The science.. which deals with the fundamental errors of mankind - but as if they were the fundamental truths."
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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10/2/2010 9:28:47 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
Sac8 - The thing is that if you don't feel sex is necessary or important, you don't have to act as if it is. There are plenty of people who identify as asexual; it's a legitimate orientation. I know a guy who is asexual and he says what turns him on is knowledge lol. He's neither gay nor straight (and he's not just a closeted gay guy either) -- he simply doesn't have an interest in sex (I don't know if he masturbates but I doubt it). He has a girl friend who is also asexual and essentially they pose as a couple just because everyone assumes they are; however, they have no romantic or sexual interest in each other -- they're just very close.

Nobody's stopping you or anyone from pursuing this kind of relationship. The problem, as others have said, is that most people are biologically hardwired to want sex. When you become romantic with someone, sex is not only a desire as a result of the process but part of the process itself. Wanting to have sex with them is part of the initial attraction and acting on that isn't wrong or harmful. Also the thing you said about jealousy doesn't really apply considering (I forget the exact study, but it's been done) that most women think "emotional cheating" is worse than physical cheating. That means there are things beyond sex within the confines of a relationship itself that make people jealous -- not necessarily a car or a pay check but your gf "getting a little too close" even if it's not sexual with another guy, etc.
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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10/2/2010 9:30:30 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 9:10:14 AM, tvellalott wrote:
If I had to choose between masturbating when ever I wanted and having great sex once a month, I would choose sex. That's the difference.

Lol what if you had to choose between having good sex once a month and never masturbating (or getting off) aside from that, vs. masturbating whenever you want with no sex?
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Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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10/2/2010 9:32:11 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 9:21:20 AM, mattrodstrom wrote:
so... sac8 what girl is it that you're so interested in and mutilating, abusing, and then castrating yourself for? :/

My gf.

Jk... but you're right about the testosterone. The hormones are what make you crave sex, not necessarily the genitalia itself. There are a ton of psychological reasons girls avoid sex but I'm pretty sure if you dose them with testosterone the hormones would override the psychological unless of course it was some kind of drastic trauma.
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studentathletechristian8
Posts: 5,810
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10/2/2010 9:59:55 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 9:28:47 AM, theLwerd wrote:
Sac8 - The thing is that if you don't feel sex is necessary or important, you don't have to act as if it is. There are plenty of people who identify as asexual; it's a legitimate orientation. I know a guy who is asexual and he says what turns him on is knowledge lol. He's neither gay nor straight (and he's not just a closeted gay guy either) -- he simply doesn't have an interest in sex (I don't know if he masturbates but I doubt it). He has a girl friend who is also asexual and essentially they pose as a couple just because everyone assumes they are; however, they have no romantic or sexual interest in each other -- they're just very close.

Nobody's stopping you or anyone from pursuing this kind of relationship. The problem, as others have said, is that most people are biologically hardwired to want sex. When you become romantic with someone, sex is not only a desire as a result of the process but part of the process itself. Wanting to have sex with them is part of the initial attraction and acting on that isn't wrong or harmful. Also the thing you said about jealousy doesn't really apply considering (I forget the exact study, but it's been done) that most women think "emotional cheating" is worse than physical cheating. That means there are things beyond sex within the confines of a relationship itself that make people jealous -- not necessarily a car or a pay check but your gf "getting a little too close" even if it's not sexual with another guy, etc.

Thanks for the post, L. Greatly appreciated.

However, in my case, it is a little bit different. I do find myself quite physically attracted to women, but I simply do not want actual intercourse. Whether this reason roots itself in self-confidence or insecurity (or a little of both), the fact is that I just do not see myself having a sexual relationship with another person. Of course, this may change when I do improve my personal "Maslow's Pyramid," but at this point, I do not plan on having sex at all.
J.Kenyon
Posts: 4,194
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10/2/2010 10:04:15 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 9:59:55 AM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
However, in my case, it is a little bit different. I do find myself quite physically attracted to women, but I simply do not want actual intercourse. Whether this reason roots itself in self-confidence or insecurity (or a little of both), the fact is that I just do not see myself having a sexual relationship with another person. Of course, this may change when I do improve my personal "Maslow's Pyramid," but at this point, I do not plan on having sex at all.

Sex is on the bottom tier of Maslow's pyramid, mate. http://www.arkpeople.com...
studentathletechristian8
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10/2/2010 10:07:22 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/2/2010 10:04:15 AM, J.Kenyon wrote:
At 10/2/2010 9:59:55 AM, studentathletechristian8 wrote:
However, in my case, it is a little bit different. I do find myself quite physically attracted to women, but I simply do not want actual intercourse. Whether this reason roots itself in self-confidence or insecurity (or a little of both), the fact is that I just do not see myself having a sexual relationship with another person. Of course, this may change when I do improve my personal "Maslow's Pyramid," but at this point, I do not plan on having sex at all.

Sex is on the bottom tier of Maslow's pyramid, mate. http://www.arkpeople.com...

I have not read the source, but I do know that the category of "Basic Needs" is on the bottom of Maslow's pyramid.

However, I do not believe that sex is a basic need. Let me look at your source.