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The Individual and DDO

YYW
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12/15/2015 8:07:26 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
I think there are, now, several members for whom membership on DDO represents more of a net cost than benefit to themselves, individually. Most members on DDO get along well enough with other people, engage in productive and enjoyable discussions with other people, and have lots of friends. Certainly, I have enjoyed knowing many of the people I've met on here, and I continue to do so, because this site has been a very rich and rewarding thing for me to participate in.

However, for others, those who maintain either (i) irrational feuds with other members, or (ii) irrational beliefs about other member's intent, with respect to them, there comes a point where such an affected person really has to step back and ask themselves why they come on here. If the reason you come on DDO is because you hate someone else and you want to make them feel bad about themselves or whatever, then that's a life choice that reflects an unhealthy attachment to a conflict that really needs to be set aside.

While I certainly don't hold myself out to the world as a wise prophet or whatever, both in recent memory and in weeks and months past, I have witnessed several members irrationally react to the way that other members acted in the forums, and in many instances misinterpreted what those actions mean. I know this is all very abstract of course (and it's not meant to refer to any particular member, of course) it's more or less just some thoughts from a guy who is very well aware of how different people experience this site differently.

People's lives change, what they want changes, and even sometimes friendships dissolve to the point of ill repair. We have different influences in our lives, and we have different expectations of how people are going to act around us... and, for better or worse, if a person cannot log onto DDO without feuding about what some other member is doing, especially where that same member maintains delusions about another's intent to harm them or whatever, then it's time to reevaluate how that person spends their time.

The internet is a place that both lends itself to vast opportunity, and vast exposure. The opportunity is to meet new people, but that is also the exposure, in the sense that it is very likely that we will meet people with whom we are just not going to be able to get along. Now, certainly DDO is a welcoming place that almost all can find a spot within, but I think there is a reason why many former members have moved on, and gone on to other communities and environments that are more conducive to their expectations.

The bottom line is that if doing something perpetually causes you to suffer from anxiety and tension, then that is not an activity you should be engaged in. And I think that the people who have made that choice, to the extent that DDO becomes too much for them to handle, are making wise, reasonable and mature decisions. Life, really, is just too short to maintain petty, stupid and irrational feuds and vendettas, especially where they arise form internet interactions.

The temptation, I think, for many will be to respond to what I'm saying like this: "Oh yeah, well if that @sshole is going to stay then so am I to inflict myself on him and get back at him." And that's.... it's just not a reasonable way to respond to membership of a website forum community. When you're consciously or subconsciously making decisions on that basis, it's time to close your account and try something else.... start all over, in a new setting, with new people, or spend more time with your friends and relatives IRL.

While the relationships we have online can be very real, they are also the ones over which we have the most control; you can chose to avoid people you don't like on the internet more easily than you can in any other setting, and that's what you should do.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
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12/15/2015 8:09:24 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
Now, the ideal world is that people grow up and thicken their skin... but there are a lot of people for whom that's just not a realistic possibility, and the only thing they know how to do is retaliate and fight back; directly or indirectly.... and doing that is just stupid. It's the sign that you're not making good choices with your life, because you're harming yourself.

If you've got a problem with another person, then the thing to do (or, at least the reasonable, mature thing to do) is to try to work it out, in the best case, or leave well enough alone, in the worst case. Sitting back and seething is irrational and stupid. Don't be irrational and stupid...
Tsar of DDO
YYW
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12/15/2015 8:39:00 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
And I'll say this too.... before I have go get coffee....

There are very real realities to our online lives that can carry over into our real ones; conflicts that take place online can have implications for our mood, our happiness and our sense of self worth that transcend the connections we've made in cyberspace.

There are some on DDO who believe they have the ability to, through reading content generated here, determine qualities about individual's character and mental states through reading what they write. This is mostly a reflection of incompetence, because not even trained psychologists have any reliable ability to interpret the meaning of online actions as there are for many people pronounced differences between how they interact with others IRL and online, and there is certainly no member on DDO who is a trained psychologist or even possessed of sufficient expertise to reasonably hold themselves out as experts in the field. (The literature on this is conclusive, if anyone was wondering. I'll be happy to furnish anyone who asks with a reading list.)

That is not to say that we can't know anything about whom we're interacting with online, but the ideations (especially the paranoid and delusional ones) that people develop over the course of time, with respect to relationships they have with others, are generally very bad predictors of what's going on IRL. For example, it's a lot easier to be nasty to someone else online, either directly or passive aggressively, because the kind of empathy engendered with other people in face-to-face contact just simply isn't there, IRL. If anyone was dubious, the research suggests that this is as much the case with young teenagers as it is with adults. (Studies regarding young children, so far as I am aware, have not been conducted.)

But the problem is that, especially with this site's most troubled members, people tend to make all kinds of irrational and ill founded conclusions about what other people are, simply because they "think" they understand what behavior or statements mean, when they do not. This holds true as much for individuals, as for psychologists, which is why every world professional association of psychologists in the world, as a part of their ethical cannons requires in-person examination where patient's consent. And, if a psychologist can't even do it without an in-person consultation, then it is just totally absurd to think, for example, even a grad student studying psychology could do it. It's wildly unethical to suggest anything to the contrary.

Of course we all have our suspicions about other people... for example, a person who repeatedly engages in hostile and aggressive behavior at another person's expense probably comes from a background of physical or emotional abuse. Or another example... a person who believes that another user's actions with respect to that person necessarily are an act of passive aggression meant to slight that person (and there are about nine users I can specifically think about who would fall into that category), might suffer from some kind of narcissistic personality disorder, just as a person who, similarly, believed without proof that they were the subject of perpetual indirect attacks from others might be experiencing paranoid ideations. If these instances are consistent IRL, that person might be experiencing the symptoms of onset schizophrenia.

I say that all to say this: There are worlds of possibility, but there also worlds of knowable unknowns. I can't "know," for example, what another person is going through beyond what I can deduce from their words. I can't read their body language, I can't listen to the tone of their speech (unless in a hangout) and I can't see their facial expressions. I can't see how they're dressed, what level of attention they're paying to personal hygiene, or observe them interact with others. So, that's a world of information I don't have access to, and it makes it very hard to form judgements. (Maybe I can profile a person (and I'm pretty good at that), but I can't diagnose them... nor can anyone else, and anyone who says otherwise, is a charlatan, unless they are in the field of mental health, in which case they are engaged in professional misconduct which could have lasting impacts on their career if, for example, it became known that they were doing that kind of thing... but I digress.)

The point here is that it's important to do the following things:

1. Know what we know, don't know, and can't know;
2. Avoid making conclusions based on what we do know, from what we don't or can't know, where what we do know is necessarily insufficient for that; and, most importantly...
3. Really be sure that the way we use our time is healthy.

Using our time in a healthy way is a hard skill to learn, but we've got to reflect on what impact our choices are having on our overall quality of life, and our happiness. If we're making choices that come at the expense of those, then we need to be making different choices.
Tsar of DDO
Rosalie
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12/15/2015 8:52:52 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
Allot people believe that the internet is just the internet, and what one says do sent affect anyone in any other way.

I will say this, because I heard it the other day here on DDO. Making fun of someone who has depression is very poor conduct. Especially making jokes about depressed people who cut themselves. People need to chose their words wisley. People you dislike have feelings, and you need to respect that.

I will admitted, I have issues with certain members on this site, and I have said allot of shi*try things. Before you say something, you should put yourself in the other persons shoes. How would you feel if they said the stuff, that you say, or want to say to them.

I personally believe there is a issue on this site with cyber-bullying, and allot of people aren't aware if it because it happens privately. Stop calling each other dumb or retarded, it's not cool. Some people take it to heart when you say those nasty things. Just because you wouldn't get offended dosent mean other people wobt, because *reality check* you're not the only one on this website, other people have feelings too.

But like YYW said, if you have a issue with someone, talk with them. If you fear that it will only lead to negative conversation, then just shut them out.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
Emilrose
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12/15/2015 9:10:15 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
If anything this is just a prime example of hypocritical you actually are. I.E-->>you're complaining about other people being 'passive-aggressive', when you continuously display that *specific* form of behaviour yourself. In fact, this entire thread is passive-aggressive as you're essentially criticizing other users who you disagree with and/or you have a problem with. Moreover, you've gone from 'several' to 'nine' different members and refused to name names, that is what comes under the category of 'passive-aggressive'.

Your approach towards dealing with such people is absolutely boring, as they (according to you) are either 'irrational, wrong, stupid' or simply 'passive-aggressive'--when in reality, they are just individuals expressing their viewpoints.

The fact is that you're far too preoccupied with this site (more so than is healthy) and really ought to focus on other things. Even your 'intellectual contributions' (such as those in the politics forum) are limited as you use over 100 different sentences to summarize what could be said in under 10.

Again: if there's one person that is a 'net harm' to *debating* websites like this--it's yourself. Largely because of your incessant need to dominate/bully, and regularly instigate and engage in pointless drama.
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

Commentator on Hillary Clinton: 'If Clinton is now what passes for progressive, maybe this country deserves Trump.'

Commentator on British parliament: 'All that talent in one place, where is Ebola when you need it?'

John Kerry on words: 'These aren't just words, folks.'
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:10:30 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 8:52:52 PM, Rosalie wrote:
Allot people believe that the internet is just the internet, and what one says do sent affect anyone in any other way.

I will say this, because I heard it the other day here on DDO. Making fun of someone who has depression is very poor conduct. Especially making jokes about depressed people who cut themselves. People need to chose their words wisley. People you dislike have feelings, and you need to respect that.

I will admitted, I have issues with certain members on this site, and I have said allot of shi*try things. Before you say something, you should put yourself in the other persons shoes. How would you feel if they said the stuff, that you say, or want to say to them.

I personally believe there is a issue on this site with cyber-bullying, and allot of people aren't aware if it because it happens privately. Stop calling each other dumb or retarded, it's not cool. Some people take it to heart when you say those nasty things. Just because you wouldn't get offended dosent mean other people wobt, because *reality check* you're not the only one on this website, other people have feelings too.

But like YYW said, if you have a issue with someone, talk with them. If you fear that it will only lead to negative conversation, then just shut them out.

Well said
Tsar of DDO
Rosalie
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12/15/2015 9:16:10 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:10:15 PM, Emilrose wrote:
If anything this is just a prime example of hypocritical you actually are. I.E-->>you're complaining about other people being 'passive-aggressive', when you continuously display that *specific* form of behaviour yourself. In fact, this entire thread is passive-aggressive as you're essentially criticizing other users who you disagree with and/or you have a problem with. Moreover, you've gone from 'several' to 'nine' different members and refused to name names, that is what comes under the category of 'passive-aggressive'.

Your approach towards dealing with such people is absolutely boring, as they (according to you) are either 'irrational, wrong, stupid' or simply 'passive-aggressive'--when in reality, they are just individuals expressing their viewpoints.

The fact is that you're far too preoccupied with this site (more so than is healthy) and really ought to focus on other things. Even your 'intellectual contributions' (such as those in the politics forum) are limited as you use over 100 different sentences to summarize what could be said in under 10.

Again: if there's one person that is a 'net harm' to *debating* websites like this--it's yourself. Largely because of your incessant need to dominate/bully, and regularly instigate and engage in pointless drama.

I'm strongly going to disagree with this. You're accusing him of being passive aggressive? Do you remember the horrible conduct you bestowed the other night? You willingly gained up on a member for no reason, all he was doing was expressing his feelings of the site, and you felt the need to harass and bully him, which was extreamylly innapropriate.

I am sorry for accusing you of being a guy, anyways..

You should also feel horrible for the conduct you portrayed the other night.if anything, this post is hypocritical.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:22:22 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
It's very sad to see troubled people inflict themselves on the rest of us. Probably best to ignore them.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.
Tsar of DDO
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:32:26 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
I think in general though reactions like that really support what I was saying. All the nastiness and hostility people have here, which they direct at others in various ways, really should stop.

But the point of this post wasn't even about what's good for the site, so much as what's good for its members... As was plainly clear by what I said. There comes a time when we have to ask ourselves of being here is a good and healthy thing to do. I think if a lot of people honestly answered that question, there might be some membership changes.
Tsar of DDO
Emilrose
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12/15/2015 9:35:52 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:16:10 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:10:15 PM, Emilrose wrote:
If anything this is just a prime example of hypocritical you actually are. I.E-->>you're complaining about other people being 'passive-aggressive', when you continuously display that *specific* form of behaviour yourself. In fact, this entire thread is passive-aggressive as you're essentially criticizing other users who you disagree with and/or you have a problem with. Moreover, you've gone from 'several' to 'nine' different members and refused to name names, that is what comes under the category of 'passive-aggressive'.

Your approach towards dealing with such people is absolutely boring, as they (according to you) are either 'irrational, wrong, stupid' or simply 'passive-aggressive'--when in reality, they are just individuals expressing their viewpoints.

The fact is that you're far too preoccupied with this site (more so than is healthy) and really ought to focus on other things. Even your 'intellectual contributions' (such as those in the politics forum) are limited as you use over 100 different sentences to summarize what could be said in under 10.

Again: if there's one person that is a 'net harm' to *debating* websites like this--it's yourself. Largely because of your incessant need to dominate/bully, and regularly instigate and engage in pointless drama.

I'm strongly going to disagree with this.

Well, that's your prerogative.

You're accusing him of being passive aggressive?

Indeed I am, due to the fact that I've seen him present this type of behaviour countless times. It's important to note that I do not associate with YYW (such as yourself), and therefore can objectively conclude this.

Do you remember the horrible conduct you bestowed the other night?

Technically, it was bad conduct-->>however, I was one of many individuals to say negative things and I will contend that my following comments were in response to what harder said. I entered that thread with legitimate criticisms, and he chose to respond in an insulting manner. Perhaps I should have overlooked that, but I don't see why someone should be able to freely 'give out' insults without any probability of receiving them back.

You willingly gained up on a member for no reason, all he was doing was expressing his feelings of the site, and you felt the need to harass and bully him, which was extreamylly innapropriate.

If we're going by that example: all I did was 'express my feelings', which for some reason he was not able to take logically or maturely. Moreover I did not gang up on anybody, on the contrary I had three different members insult me.

I am sorry for accusing you of being a guy, anyways..

Good, that come out from completely nowhere. Likewise I apologize for things that I said in response.

You should also feel horrible for the conduct you portrayed the other night.if anything, this post is hypocritical.

It's not hypocritical, just for the basic fact that my involvement on this website is no where near the level that YYW's is--I'm not the one specifically making threads telling people to leave the site if they express views that aren't in line with his.

And that is basically what he's doing.
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

Commentator on Hillary Clinton: 'If Clinton is now what passes for progressive, maybe this country deserves Trump.'

Commentator on British parliament: 'All that talent in one place, where is Ebola when you need it?'

John Kerry on words: 'These aren't just words, folks.'
PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
Rosalie
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12/15/2015 9:43:35 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.

This is not about poking out other peoples flaws. But recognizing ours, and trying to help others . Not a "you did this, and you did that"
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 9:45:11 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:43:35 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.

This is not about poking out other peoples flaws. But recognizing ours, and trying to help others . Not a "you did this, and you did that"

"It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others." Is that not about harming others? It says it quite explicitly. In regards to pointing out someone's flaws, that's clearly harming others.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
Rosalie
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12/15/2015 9:48:31 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:45:11 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:43:35 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.

This is not about poking out other peoples flaws. But recognizing ours, and trying to help others . Not a "you did this, and you did that"

"It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others." Is that not about harming others? It says it quite explicitly. In regards to pointing out someone's flaws, that's clearly harming others.

He is stating the truth. He is obviously talking about trouble makers and antagonist on the site.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:48:54 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
There are a few things that are really clear about this thread:

Clearly there are users who are profoundly troubled, but I think it would be unfair to specifically criticize EmilRose for "writing" what she appeared to write, for the reason that I have never had a conversation with her at all.

But, it's fairly clear that some person who clearly has an ongoing feud with another person sent to EmilRose a PM which contained the message that EmilRose posted, presumably because the individual making that request is restrained from talking to me.

That's sad, but irrelevant because this OP isn't about any specific person; it's about all of us. We all have a responsibility to do what is best for ourselves, and what's best for ourselves is not to subject ourselves to things that cause us emotional pain and agitation.

Yet, there are some people who hold onto bitterness and resentment and it consumes them... that's not unique to any particular user. We all do it, to a degree... and we should set ourselves free from it by making smart choices.
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PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 9:49:24 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:48:31 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:45:11 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:43:35 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.

This is not about poking out other peoples flaws. But recognizing ours, and trying to help others . Not a "you did this, and you did that"

"It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others." Is that not about harming others? It says it quite explicitly. In regards to pointing out someone's flaws, that's clearly harming others.

He is stating the truth. He is obviously talking about trouble makers and antagonist on the site.

And I provided evidence as to why he shouldn't be an exception, and neither should you, but I also pointed out that you apologized for it.
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YYW
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12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)
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PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 9:54:34 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)

On the internet it is very hard to point out sarcasm and not everyone can understand satire. And certainly you were mocking a group of people, which clearly offended some like Mirza. To strawman this, it's like mocking and satirizing a certain belief in a religion, obviously some people will take that as an insult since that's what they believe in.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:55:29 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
Food for thought:

If I really had any ongoing vendettas with people, or if I was actually out to get people... like, it if was my purpose or conscious object to really harm a person, would I suggest that they leave DDO for their own benefit? Or limit their time here?

Hardly... what I would do is keep them around, and make them stay, to continue to subject them to all the things I can do. After all, if someone left the site, I might be limited in my ability to hurt someone I really wanted to hurt.

But, I obviously do not have any such feelings. I just want what's best for myself, and for other people to do what's best for them. I have no ill feelings towards any member of the site, past or present. People simply are who they are...

If only we could all get along.
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YYW
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12/15/2015 9:56:20 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:54:34 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)

On the internet it is very hard to point out sarcasm and not everyone can understand satire. And certainly you were mocking a group of people, which clearly offended some like Mirza. To strawman this, it's like mocking and satirizing a certain belief in a religion, obviously some people will take that as an insult since that's what they believe in.

I was mocking the collective arguments of a group of people, not the people themselves in that group. Mirza was trolling you, though, and everyone else. He will be back, of that we can be sure.
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Emilrose
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12/15/2015 9:57:33 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:32:26 PM, YYW wrote:
I think in general though reactions like that really support what I was saying. All the nastiness and hostility people have here, which they direct at others in various ways, really should stop.

It's quite remarkable how you completely fail to view things from varying perspectives and *exclusively* look at them from your own--in addition to your general approach towards people, it does indeed lead me to believe that you are an actual sociopath-->>this would also account for your desire to control and the way get demented when someone says something you disapprove of or when something happens that you don't like.

But the point of this post wasn't even about what's good for the site, so much as what's good for its members... As was plainly clear by what I said. There comes a time when we have to ask ourselves of being here is a good and healthy thing to do. I think if a lot of people honestly answered that question, there might be some membership changes.

The point is that you, in essence, have a skewed outlook on the site and are incapable of tolerating other opinions, and indeed other individuals.

There *should* come a time when people have to question their own sanity, and I think that time has more than arrived for you.
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

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PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 9:59:10 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:56:20 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:54:34 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)

On the internet it is very hard to point out sarcasm and not everyone can understand satire. And certainly you were mocking a group of people, which clearly offended some like Mirza. To strawman this, it's like mocking and satirizing a certain belief in a religion, obviously some people will take that as an insult since that's what they believe in.

I was mocking the collective arguments of a group of people, not the people themselves in that group. Mirza was trolling you, though, and everyone else. He will be back, of that we can be sure.

Yes, that's the point I was trying to make that that offends some people. If you call the belief of intelligent design inane, even though you aren't directly insulting the people who believe in it themselves, they will obviously get offended. And I'm not so sure about that latter part...
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
YYW
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12/15/2015 9:59:34 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:48:31 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:45:11 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:43:35 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others? Mirza seemed to be harmed and he politely asked you to stop, but you continued. "The sole purpose of my activities is MOCKING THE ARGUMENTS that people are making for destroying something, because they're stupid." You also kind of admitted it: "I can be DDO's supreme @sshole, no doubt." "I do like drama... it gives me the chance to troll people" according to the Dark Tetrad theory on internet trolling, trolling promotes sadism in the individual and thus it's more likely than not to be for malicious purposes. "and the people who just want to jump at every opportunity to insult me are practically memes for teenage angst and whinyness...." "I don't even think Peter was worth responding to..." "I mean, most people don't give a sh!t about subutai's dumb ideas with regard to the presidency because they're just dumb"
"this night will be remembered as the night where I trolled the sh!t out of some people who were doing stupid sh!t" Because you've made vague, weak, speculative (and really just pathetic) assertions with no factual basis at all...I am really disappointed in what you've come up with...".

You can either deny objective evidence and make yourself the "exception" or you can admit you are not innocent either, which would add more legitimacy to your OP here, like how rosalie recognized and apologized for regretful actions that she did: "I am...very regretful on some of the things I part took in...people we're very rude, including myself...I do regret the way I acted last night". As she said "But, everyone else needs to recognize what they have done wrong, and maybe go back and fix those issues they part took In" should apply to you as well.

This is not about poking out other peoples flaws. But recognizing ours, and trying to help others . Not a "you did this, and you did that"

"It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others." Is that not about harming others? It says it quite explicitly. In regards to pointing out someone's flaws, that's clearly harming others.

He is stating the truth. He is obviously talking about trouble makers and antagonist on the site.

Well yes... and there are trouble makers of very different kinds, too. For example, the people who allow smoldering, seething hate (which is destroying them inside) to become something that would cause them to become enraged at the mere site of a thread offered by someone else as well-intended advice.

But really, that kind of a person isn't someone that I can really do much to help, because they aren't going to listen to me at all... they're just going to go on the attack in response to a reasonable proposal, as a means of retaliation, propagated by hate.

It would be deeply regretful to lead that kind of life... I mean, such a person must be miserable with who they are.

The good news is that there is hope... it is never too late for any of us to turn our lives around.
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Rosalie
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12/15/2015 10:01:07 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:59:10 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:56:20 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:54:34 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)

On the internet it is very hard to point out sarcasm and not everyone can understand satire. And certainly you were mocking a group of people, which clearly offended some like Mirza. To strawman this, it's like mocking and satirizing a certain belief in a religion, obviously some people will take that as an insult since that's what they believe in.

I was mocking the collective arguments of a group of people, not the people themselves in that group. Mirza was trolling you, though, and everyone else. He will be back, of that we can be sure.

Yes, that's the point I was trying to make that that offends some people. If you call the belief of intelligent design inane, even though you aren't directly insulting the people who believe in it themselves, they will obviously get offended. And I'm not so sure about that latter part...

He was merely mocking people who acted in bad conduct, who were trying to hurt others. Basically, you're dismmising all the other people, but accusing YYW of having bad conduct. Lol. Pitiful.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

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PetersSmith
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12/15/2015 10:02:01 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 10:01:07 PM, Rosalie wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:59:10 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:56:20 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:54:34 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:52:06 PM, YYW wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:40:45 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:24:38 PM, YYW wrote:
Besides I don't think I've ever had a conversation with emilrose.... She probably didn't write that post. It's still very sad to see troubled people try to harm others.

Not to be offensive or anything, but did you also not try to harm others?

I mocked some arguments, not other people. But the point of this thread isn't about me, or any particular user. It's about all of us, and the choices we make.

I think that a lot of people take things on the internet really even more personally than they might take things IRL, and that causes them all kinds of harm, which I lament to see.

What I said in the instances to which you refer may have been overly satirical, I always try to (though I'm certainly not perfect) make a clear distinction between attacking the argument and attacking the person.

The problem is that people think that if their argument's are stupid, then that person must be stupid as well. (It is possible that stupid people make stupid arguments, but just because a person makes a stupid argument doesn't make them stupid as well.)

On the internet it is very hard to point out sarcasm and not everyone can understand satire. And certainly you were mocking a group of people, which clearly offended some like Mirza. To strawman this, it's like mocking and satirizing a certain belief in a religion, obviously some people will take that as an insult since that's what they believe in.

I was mocking the collective arguments of a group of people, not the people themselves in that group. Mirza was trolling you, though, and everyone else. He will be back, of that we can be sure.

Yes, that's the point I was trying to make that that offends some people. If you call the belief of intelligent design inane, even though you aren't directly insulting the people who believe in it themselves, they will obviously get offended. And I'm not so sure about that latter part...

He was merely mocking people who acted in bad conduct, who were trying to hurt others. Basically, you're dismmising all the other people, but accusing YYW of having bad conduct. Lol. Pitiful.

Okay, call me pitiful. That's just great.
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
neptune1bond
Posts: 400
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12/15/2015 10:02:28 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
Although I can see the points of YYW, Emilrose, and Rosalie and I believe all of their posts have things to be considered, I also disagree with part of the intention of this particular thread. Thoughts along the lines of some of the things that were said here frequently can lead to "thought-policing" by authority figures and limitations to free speech. The truth is that we cannot control or limit the actions of others and we shouldn't try to. People will point out their own deficiencies and treatment of others when given the chance to do so. Some people who are fairly sensitive need to be taught that just because someone is allowed to say something somewhere, it doesn't mean that it is condoned or supported by the majority of people who only read and do not comment, or at least maybe their approach and choice of wording isn't.

It is also important to take into account that most interactions on the internet are completely voluntary and most people can be blocked or simply ignored if you do not like what they say. No one forces you to read forums, threads, or even individual posts that you don't like. We are on a debate website and therefor conversations are expected to be controversial, potentially upsetting, or even inflammatory. Everyone should feel free to drop any conversations they cannot handle and should take the personal responsibility to do so instead of expecting someone else to do it for them. Allowing everyone to express themselves freely also means hearing opinions you don't like expressed in a way that can be quite aggressive. This is part of the reason why I take issue with concepts like "cyber-bullying". It takes no personal responsibility for any interaction that takes place and instead tries to paint one side as the complete victim with no personal choices or actions that they can be held accountable for in any way, which forever sets up a cycle of perpetual harassment and further bullying. They are perpetuating the very problem they seek to alleviate.

Instead of trying to control and police everyone else's actions, I feel that we need to concentrate on our own. Learn to ignore people's insulting behaviors and ridicule. No one has a "right" to expect to go through life never being offended and never having to hear opinions they don't like (especially on a debate website). No one likes a person who constantly complains and compares their own victim-hood to everyone else that they think is better off or more "privileged" than they, but everyone can deeply respect someone who ignores inappropriate behaviors and stupidity where it happens and everyone can appreciate a need to take breaks to regroup when necessary, whether it be from a certain forum or website, the internet in general, or any situation in real life. We need to stop teaching people to make everyone else responsible for ourselves and instead teach people how to deal with life and get through it with flying colors IN SPITE of any opposition they may encounter rather than an expectation that it isn't going to happen or even that it shouldn't. If adults can't even get through a university setting (a fairly safe setting WITHOUT all the current P.C. bullsh*t) without hug-boxes, safe-spaces, crying corners, and severely punishing some people for having unpopular opinions (why in the hell does this happen in supposed "academic" institutions? I thought the whole point WAS to have controversial opinions and discussions!), then what kind of example are we going to set for the next generation of children and how are we going to prepare them for life when reality will never conform itself around them to suite their feelings and they will have to deal with all types of situations and behaviors and will have to constantly hear opinions that differ from their own or even insults and aggression? No wonder children and teens (and adults) sometimes kill themselves, it's not because someone was mean on the internet or because of bullies, it's because they are constantly told that they have the right to never have to deal with anything they don't like and then cannot handle it when they are hit by a dose of reality when they see the way the world does, and always will, work. Life is a bumpy road, my friends, and we should strengthen and prepare ourselves, and each other, to handle those bumps when they happen because they will ALWAYS happen. Trying to make the whole world your safe space, or someone else's safe space, or a certain group's safe space, is contributing to the problem rather than alleviating it! I do agree with the point that people need to leave a website, at least temporarily, if they are having issues in real life because they have not equipped themselves to handle the reality of interactions on the internet. Not every place is well suited for everyone, nor should they be.
Emilrose
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12/15/2015 10:04:34 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 9:48:54 PM, YYW wrote:
There are a few things that are really clear about this thread:

Clearly there are users who are profoundly troubled, but I think it would be unfair to specifically criticize EmilRose for "writing" what she appeared to write, for the reason that I have never had a conversation with her at all.

But, it's fairly clear that some person who clearly has an ongoing feud with another person sent to EmilRose a PM which contained the message that EmilRose posted, presumably because the individual making that request is restrained from talking to me.

Oh my, I can verify that I am responsible for all things written (from my account) in this thread. And, you've conversed with me on at least two occasions that I can think of--in threads.

That's sad, but irrelevant because this OP isn't about any specific person; it's about all of us. We all have a responsibility to do what is best for ourselves, and what's best for ourselves is not to subject ourselves to things that cause us emotional pain and agitation.

Yet, there are some people who hold onto bitterness and resentment and it consumes them... that's not unique to any particular user. We all do it, to a degree... and we should set ourselves free from it by making smart choices.
Commentator on a picture with David Cameron and a Cat: 'Amazing what you can achieve with photoshop these days. I'm sure that used to be a pig.'

Commentator on Hillary Clinton: 'If Clinton is now what passes for progressive, maybe this country deserves Trump.'

Commentator on British parliament: 'All that talent in one place, where is Ebola when you need it?'

John Kerry on words: 'These aren't just words, folks.'
YYW
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12/15/2015 10:06:19 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 10:04:34 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/15/2015 9:48:54 PM, YYW wrote:
There are a few things that are really clear about this thread:

Clearly there are users who are profoundly troubled, but I think it would be unfair to specifically criticize EmilRose for "writing" what she appeared to write, for the reason that I have never had a conversation with her at all.

But, it's fairly clear that some person who clearly has an ongoing feud with another person sent to EmilRose a PM which contained the message that EmilRose posted, presumably because the individual making that request is restrained from talking to me.

Oh my, I can verify that I am responsible for all things written (from my account) in this thread. And, you've conversed with me on at least two occasions that I can think of--in threads.

Well, I have it on good faith that it's not you and that I shouldn't converse with you because it's a site conduct violation.
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YYW
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12/15/2015 10:09:18 PM
Posted: 12 months ago
At 12/15/2015 10:02:28 PM, neptune1bond wrote:
Although I can see the points of YYW, Emilrose, and Rosalie and I believe all of their posts have things to be considered, I also disagree with part of the intention of this particular thread. Thoughts along the lines of some of the things that were said here frequently can lead to "thought-policing" by authority figures and limitations to free speech. The truth is that we cannot control or limit the actions of others and we shouldn't try to.

I completely agree. I think everyone should be free to post on DDO as much as they like, but that's ancillary to what I was saying.

People will point out their own deficiencies and treatment of others when given the chance to do so. Some people who are fairly sensitive need to be taught that just because someone is allowed to say something somewhere, it doesn't mean that it is condoned or supported by the majority of people who only read and do not comment, or at least maybe their approach and choice of wording isn't.

I agree.

It is also important to take into account that most interactions on the internet are completely voluntary and most people can be blocked or simply ignored if you do not like what they say. No one forces you to read forums, threads, or even individual posts that you don't like. We are on a debate website and therefor conversations are expected to be controversial, potentially upsetting, or even inflammatory.

I think you're exactly right.

Everyone should feel free to drop any conversations they cannot handle and should take the personal responsibility to do so instead of expecting someone else to do it for them. Allowing everyone to express themselves freely also means hearing opinions you don't like expressed in a way that can be quite aggressive. This is part of the reason why I take issue with concepts like "cyber-bullying". It takes no personal responsibility for any interaction that takes place and instead tries to paint one side as the complete victim with no personal choices or actions that they can be held accountable for in any way, which forever sets up a cycle of perpetual harassment and further bullying. They are perpetuating the very problem they seek to alleviate.

That's an extremely well said insight.

Instead of trying to control and police everyone else's actions, I feel that we need to concentrate on our own. Learn to ignore people's insulting behaviors and ridicule. No one has a "right" to expect to go through life never being offended and never having to hear opinions they don't like (especially on a debate website). No one likes a person who constantly complains and compares their own victim-hood to everyone else that they think is better off or more "privileged" than they, but everyone can deeply respect someone who ignores inappropriate behaviors and stupidity where it happens and everyone can appreciate a need to take breaks to regroup when necessary, whether it be from a certain forum or website, the internet in general, or any situation in real life.

I 100% agree.

We need to stop teaching people to make everyone else responsible for ourselves and instead teach people how to deal with life and get through it with flying colors IN SPITE of any opposition they may encounter rather than an expectation that it isn't going to happen or even that it shouldn't. If adults can't even get through a university setting (a fairly safe setting WITHOUT all the current P.C. bullsh*t) without hug-boxes, safe-spaces, crying corners, and severely punishing some people for having unpopular opinions (why in the hell does this happen in supposed "academic" institutions? I thought the whole point WAS to have controversial opinions and discussions!), then what kind of example are we going to set for the next generation of children and how are we going to prepare them for life when reality will never conform itself around them to suite their feelings and they will have to deal with all types of situations and behaviors and will have to constantly hear opinions that differ from their own or even insults and aggression? No wonder children and teens (and adults) sometimes kill themselves, it's not because someone was mean on the internet or because of bullies, it's because they are constantly told that they have the right to never have to deal with anything they don't like and then cannot handle it when they are hit by a dose of reality when they see the way the world does, and always will, work.

You're exactly right.

Life is a bumpy road, my friends, and we should strengthen and prepare ourselves, and each other, to handle those bumps when they happen because they will ALWAYS happen. Trying to make the whole world your safe space, or someone else's safe space, or a certain group's safe space, is contributing to the problem rather than alleviating it! I do agree with the point that people need to leave a website, at least temporarily, if they are having issues in real life because they have not equipped themselves to handle the reality of interactions on the internet. Not every place is well suited for everyone, nor should they be.

I 100% agree, and you are exactly right.
Tsar of DDO