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does guilt ever fade?

Caramel
Posts: 855
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10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?
no comment
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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10/26/2010 1:16:18 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM, Caramel wrote:
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?

Yes, but I don't think it is tense as you seem to be talking about. Mine is more kicking myself in the rear and thinking to myself "dumba$$".

Depends on the gravity of the sin if retribution is needed or not.

I actually think guilt is a good thing as long as it doesn't consume you. It can serve as a very powerful reminder. You can't go back but it would be even worse to forget what you have done and repeat it. Forgivness isn't always given to others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself. And be able to forgive others that have hurt you. If you can't do those two things you can never have peace from guilt.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
kelly224
Posts: 952
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10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM, Caramel wrote:
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?

Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.

If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.
Caramel
Posts: 855
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10/26/2010 7:29:28 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/26/2010 1:16:18 PM, jharry wrote:
At 10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM, Caramel wrote:
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?

Yes, but I don't think it is tense as you seem to be talking about. Mine is more kicking myself in the rear and thinking to myself "dumba$$".

I would say what you are describing is comparable, I didn't mean to be overly dramatic.

Depends on the gravity of the sin if retribution is needed or not.

If retribution is not needed, you have no guilt?

...It can serve as a very powerful reminder.

That may be exactly why guilt does not go away.

Sometimes you have to forgive yourself. And be able to forgive others that have hurt you. If you can't do those two things you can never have peace from guilt.

I've never had too much trouble forgiving others, but your first sentence may explain why I keep guilt for so long.
no comment
Caramel
Posts: 855
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10/26/2010 7:31:41 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose.

A far cry from the first response... Perhaps there is a debate in the making.

I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel guilty, the person did what they wanted to.

If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Things are usually intentional...
no comment
jharry
Posts: 4,984
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10/26/2010 7:50:00 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/26/2010 7:29:28 PM, Caramel wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:16:18 PM, jharry wrote:
At 10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM, Caramel wrote:
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?

Yes, but I don't think it is tense as you seem to be talking about. Mine is more kicking myself in the rear and thinking to myself "dumba$$".

I would say what you are describing is comparable, I didn't mean to be overly dramatic.

Lol. I didn't know for sure.

Depends on the gravity of the sin if retribution is needed or not.

If retribution is not needed, you have no guilt?

Oh no. Just if retribution should be made or not, even if it is that doesn't mean the guilt will go away. It may ease it some.

...It can serve as a very powerful reminder.

That may be exactly why guilt does not go away.

That is a good thing, as long as you can forgive yourself but never forget.

Sometimes you have to forgive yourself. And be able to forgive others that have hurt you. If you can't do those two things you can never have peace from guilt.

I've never had too much trouble forgiving others, but your first sentence may explain why I keep guilt for so long.

Either can be a very hard thing to deal with. But I do agree that forgiving yourself is harder. But that is when you have t honestly judge yourself and realize that we are FAR from perfect and we do make huge mistakes. Not an excuse, I try to considerate not only not doing it again but avoid the occasion that brought be into the situation in the first place. It seems to help a lot, for me anyway. I have a problem with controlling myself I bars. I usually wind up doing one of two things. And sometimes both. They both start with F. I feel guilty for doing both so I stay away from the bars unless I take certain precautions first. If I can't make sure I will be good I just don't go.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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10/26/2010 8:32:59 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
Guilt is a form of regret.

It is one of the many devices employed by human cognition to ensure that we learn from our experiences.

Therefore, by design, I would assume that it does not. On the other hand, we are capable of developing the maturity to accept our mistakes and apply the knowledge we've derived from regret as a basis of self-betterment, rather than allowing one instance that no longer exists to eat away at us.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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10/26/2010 8:46:19 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
For me it seems to get worse as time moves on. Especially if I think too much and realize how I f-cked up even more than I thought I did.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
clucas
Posts: 49
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10/28/2010 6:55:59 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

Very true, guilt indeed does serve a purpose. It is our concious telling us that the event that happened was wrong and you regret doing it. Although people can eventually look past guilt and have it affect them to the minimum. I dont believe it is possible for anyone to not ever experience guilt through commiting acts they concider wrong, i know i would not be able to personally at least.
Caramel
Posts: 855
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10/29/2010 12:55:34 PM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/28/2010 6:55:59 PM, clucas wrote:
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

Very true, guilt indeed does serve a purpose. It is our concious telling us that the event that happened was wrong and you regret doing it. Although people can eventually look past guilt and have it affect them to the minimum. I dont believe it is possible for anyone to not ever experience guilt through commiting acts they concider wrong, i know i would not be able to personally at least.

So you are saying that guilt does fade with time...
no comment
badger
Posts: 11,793
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10/30/2010 2:24:52 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
maybe you've just acted like you feel guilty for so long that you've actually gone and convinced yourself you do.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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10/30/2010 2:26:34 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

i'd say that's a load of sh1te.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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10/30/2010 2:27:19 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/30/2010 2:26:34 AM, badger wrote:
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

i'd say that's a load of sh1te.

no i take that back,
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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10/30/2010 2:30:51 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
At 10/30/2010 2:27:19 AM, badger wrote:
At 10/30/2010 2:26:34 AM, badger wrote:
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

i'd say that's a load of sh1te.

no i take that back,

i take that back. don't believe in guilt.
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badger
Posts: 11,793
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10/30/2010 4:19:18 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
i reckon i'd kill a stranger not a bother and not be one bit put out by it. might even get a buzz. jail would suck though.
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Mirza
Posts: 16,992
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10/30/2010 8:37:14 AM
Posted: 7 years ago
Feeling bad about having done something regrettable is not necessarily a negative thing. It is important that we commit mistakes in life so that we can move and and prosper through strength. Sometimes, feeling guilty of something that has happened in the past is the only thing that prevents you from doing it again. However, one should remember that feeling too much guilt is not good. That can make you self-hating in extreme situations. What is good is that one learns from his/her mistakes and remembers how bad tings were once they were committed, but that he/she also accepts the fact that what has happened has happened and there is nothing to do about it except moving on. Also keep in mind that if you did not commit a big mistake in the past, you might have been at many more terrible situations instead, and also later in your life. Therefore, remember what you have done and learn from it so as not to do it again, but be happy about the fact that you are where you are now and not in a much worse situation.
clucas
Posts: 49
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11/25/2010 7:31:36 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/29/2010 12:55:34 PM, Caramel wrote:
At 10/28/2010 6:55:59 PM, clucas wrote:
At 10/28/2010 8:45:12 AM, Kleptin wrote:
At 10/26/2010 1:35:54 PM, kelly224 wrote:
Guilt is natural, but doesn't serve any purpose. I say if a person does something with the intention of hurting someone personally, then there is no reason to feel huilty, the person did what they wanted to.
If it was not intentional, all you can do is apologoze sincerly, and move from there.

Guilt does serve a purpose. Just like how physical pain reminds us not to do things harmful to us physically, guilt reminds us not to do things harmful to us emotionally. Guilt is the pain we receive when we do something that hurts others and we get a rebound effect through empathy. It exists to make sure we don't hurt other people.

Very true, guilt indeed does serve a purpose. It is our concious telling us that the event that happened was wrong and you regret doing it. Although people can eventually look past guilt and have it affect them to the minimum. I dont believe it is possible for anyone to not ever experience guilt through commiting acts they concider wrong, i know i would not be able to personally at least.

So you are saying that guilt does fade with time...

It would depend on what the severity of the subject is, but most things yes. Sorry it took so long to respond aha.
Sky_ace25
Posts: 190
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12/8/2010 10:37:29 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 10/26/2010 12:38:54 PM, Caramel wrote:
I guess I am asking because it doesn't ever seem to fade for me. Anything I feel guilty about tends to stay just as potent as the day it happened... This shouldn't be confused with pain, however; pain certainly does fade with time ("time heals all wounds"). What really bakes my noodle is that, to try and deal with it somehow, I could call the people I feel I have hurt and reiterate my regrets or even propose to make it up to them. However, from their perspective, they were hurt by my actions and that pain has since faded to nothing, as it always does. So I really have nothing to accomplish by trying to actively address my guilt. All I can do is wallow in it. By the way, i'm not alluding to any major drama here, the things I feel guilty about are relatively benign but they are lke splinters that never go away.

Is everyone like this? Do you still feel guilty about things you did many years ago?

Depends on your inner moral compass and your conscience. Some people can do things and feel indifferent about it while others are plagued to be haunted by their guilt. Personally, I managed to distract myself and forcefully push things to the side to avoid guilt, but if I suddenly remember an event I'll feel bad again.
Seriously, Pluto is no longer a planet?