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Shaming Insensitive People

XLAV
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10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.
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PetersSmith
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10/26/2016 2:22:06 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

I think it's better to be sensitive than insensitive. Being insensitive, especially in these circumstances, is just you being an uncaring, heartless jerk. Showing compassion would be the decent thing to do.
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kevin24018
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10/26/2016 2:33:56 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

insensitive toward whom? while everyone should have sympathy for the family, the girl is dead, she doesn't care what anyone says, it's unfortunate someone felt that this action was an answer to their problem, but nothing will change that. seeming insensitive is usually a way of detaching ones self from a bad emotional issue as a coping mechanism, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, if you don't like it, change the subject I guess.
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YYW
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10/26/2016 2:44:01 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

When someone takes their own life, making jokes about it is improper in any context. I have no problem with people who shame other people that act insensitively towards those who commit suicide.

I also think your university should have a meaningful conversation about life balance with its students.
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Vox_Veritas
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10/26/2016 2:49:21 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
I agree that we shouldn't make fun of the dead, but it does seem a bit unreasonable that someone would commit suicide over having to stay in college one year longer than normal.
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XLAV
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10/26/2016 2:52:11 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:49:21 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
I agree that we shouldn't make fun of the dead, but it does seem a bit unreasonable that someone would commit suicide over having to stay in college one year longer than normal.

There's probably more to it.
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Vox_Veritas
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10/26/2016 2:58:05 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:52:11 PM, XLAV wrote:
At 10/26/2016 2:49:21 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
I agree that we shouldn't make fun of the dead, but it does seem a bit unreasonable that someone would commit suicide over having to stay in college one year longer than normal.

There's probably more to it.

Yeah, probably. Perhaps some underlying issues with depression?
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XLAV
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10/26/2016 3:06:47 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:58:05 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:

Yeah, probably. Perhaps some underlying issues with depression?

There were hints that she was depressed for quite a while. Her failing was probably the trigger for her to commit suicide.
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TeaPatriot
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10/26/2016 5:07:56 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

What is insensitivity? If I was in your university I wouldnt be talking about it all the time and seem pitiful. I'd just try to ignore it and carry on eith my life
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Quadrunner
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10/26/2016 5:19:20 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 3:06:47 PM, XLAV wrote:
At 10/26/2016 2:58:05 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:

Yeah, probably. Perhaps some underlying issues with depression?

There were hints that she was depressed for quite a while. Her failing was probably the trigger for her to commit suicide.

There is a chance that her depression lead to her failing that lead to deeper depression that lead to suicide which was based on outside factors that were larger then a bad grade. That's just useless gossip though. People don't realize the mentality of a suicidal person after a successful attempt. Its not always that they are being selfish and giving up because life is tough, and its not always for a good or a bad reason. It just is what it is. Her motive was likely based on irrational, or logical thought if that makes "sense" with their irrational truths, and the final decision could have been based on a variety of things. That's all useless projection. Its best just to be respectful and give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible, not for them obviously, but for their family and friends who they are survived through. "Sensitive" talk perpetuates itself, and you just don't need to read into it.

So I guess I lean towards the insensitive, yet respectful side for the suicide, and quietly sensitive side for the living. If someone doesn't seem to care about her death itself, that is actually a natural reaction for a significant amount of people, and not to be confused with being cold and heartless.

My opinion on the subject is that I really have no business, and both your friends should keep their mouths shut about her, and instead focus on taking care of each other. These things usually don't happen overnight, and there are generally warnings whether discrete or not. Honestly you never really know when you are making a life altering difference to someone and its best to just be your best in the face of adversity. That's all you can do. Be true to your friends and always take care of family.

A 20 story jump out of a building doesn't seem like a very stylish way to go, but then again, they rarely are and who knows what she was thinking? No one.
Skepsikyma
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10/27/2016 1:51:10 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

The time to be sensitive about a suicidal person was while they were alive. The people who are getting uptight now are just trying to channel their own shame at their inactivity/complicity (hypocrisy), or existing frustration at their impotence (understandable, but not more 'righteous'). They may derive a sense if moral superiority from doing this, but that is baseless. Suicides should also not be considered sacrosanct, that just encourages the act.
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Vaarka
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10/27/2016 4:12:18 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

I think whether or not you're sensitive/insensitive is a bit more out of your control, since it's not something you really decide on. If you are sensitive about what happened, then that is fine. It's fine to be sad about it. If you are insensitive, then it's fine to not be sad about it.

It's fine to either feel bad for the girl or not to feel bad. It's only inappropriate when insensitivity turns to rudeness, ignorance, or just pure assholery. If you feel the need to prove you don't care enough that you are indecent and joke about it, then it's understandable for people to shame that behavior.
keithprosser
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10/27/2016 6:07:25 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
Someone earlier said the insensitivity was a coping mechanism, and I think there is a lot in that. I wouldn't say everyone who appears insensitive is masking being deeply affected, but quite a few will be doing that. Of course there will also be a few 'not very nice' people, but their general unpleasantness would normally have been detected long ago!

Many student 'leapers' are driven to it because they feel they are not living up to their parents' expectations. There is nothing positive to be taken from such events.
Df0512
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10/27/2016 7:32:37 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

I think its all about your environment. Sensitivity is definitely better in public. But with friends it shouldnt be wrong to speak the truth. Truth is often insensitive.
Perussi
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11/1/2016 2:15:51 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 10/26/2016 2:16:57 PM, XLAV wrote:
In my university, a student committed suicide by jumping from the 20th floor of a building because she failed a subject that forced her to stay one year longer. This sparked a lot of reactions. Most students expressed sympathy however some treated it like a joke. And you guessed it, people are shaming the insensitive ones.

Within my group of friends, my gf and one of my close friends had a fight. My gf was insensitive about while my close friend was the more sensitive one. Long story short, my sensitive close friend didn't like/offended by the comments my gf made so now they're mad at each other. (You know, the usual ignoring stuff girls do.)

Is there even anyone at the right? I'm personally more of the insensitive type but I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

"Insensitive" if offensive to me. I am apathetic. But i have a good taste of humor. Your post triggers me.
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