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Father of the year, or massive d-bag?

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darkkermit
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2/16/2012 8:44:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:42:09 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:40:13 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:36:00 PM, OberHerr wrote:
This is quite sad that we are making a victim out of the, in this case, criminal.

It is quite sad that you think "this is just sad" as a valid argument :p.

"You know, its sad day in American when you can't even pray in public schools but
gays are allowed in the military."

No I don't believe that. Points, who said that.

Newt Gingrich?

Nope, Rick Perry. I was actually kind of saddened when I saw the ad. I liked his economic policies, so I was disheartened that he would say should hateful things.
Is there discrimination against women in the workforce?:
http://debate.org...

At 12/28/2012 2:54:39 PM DetectableNinja wrote:
DanT (Dan - tee), v: to excessively define every word, usually to semantical disprove an argument.
OberHerr
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2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.
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000ike
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2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"
"any man more right than his neighbors, constitutes a majority of one already" - Henry David Thoreau

"The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything. " - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
darkkermit
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2/16/2012 8:55:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

Yes, you assume this is true, when there is very insufficient evidence. And, If it was the case, don't you think he should punish her for direct disobedience, rather then getting in a hissy fit over something he (a) wasn't supposed to see, (b) was obtained over privacy infringement, (c) doing something everyone does, complain about their superiors.

Yes the daughter should be taught work ethic and responsibility, but he didn't accomplish any of that through his actions. Like what was stated before, all this did was establish mistrust and hate.
Is there discrimination against women in the workforce?:
http://debate.org...

At 12/28/2012 2:54:39 PM DetectableNinja wrote:
DanT (Dan - tee), v: to excessively define every word, usually to semantical disprove an argument.
OberHerr
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2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.
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wingalbrave
Posts: 201
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2/16/2012 8:56:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Let me ask you this OberHerr:

Suppose your job is to mop the floor after you get home from school every day. You do this without complaint because you think that you should try to be helpful. When your parents get home, they consistently track mud through the floor and force you to mop it again. You try to reason with them and request that you be able to mop it after they get home so that you only have to clean it once, but they refuse. You cannot discuss this with them further because you are afraid of them, and yet you still resent the fact that they do not treat your efforts with respect. What would you do?
000ike
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2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.
"any man more right than his neighbors, constitutes a majority of one already" - Henry David Thoreau

"The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything. " - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
OberHerr
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2/16/2012 9:02:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:56:26 PM, wingalbrave wrote:
Let me ask you this OberHerr:

Suppose your job is to mop the floor after you get home from school every day. You do this without complaint because you think that you should try to be helpful. When your parents get home, they consistently track mud through the floor and force you to mop it again. You try to reason with them and request that you be able to mop it after they get home so that you only have to clean it once, but they refuse. You cannot discuss this with them further because you are afraid of them, and yet you still resent the fact that they do not treat your efforts with respect. What would you do?

I doubt that is the problem, but look at it this way.

You are in charge of someone, whom you love, who constantly complains about doing small, easy tasks, that take half hour max, while you work to provide for her, and you work hard on little things she wants, like the computer, spending money all the while. THEN you find out that she is not only disrespecting you and talking trash about you behind your back, but she thinks that somehow, she is a slave.

Also, what proof is there that she is "afraid" of them?
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darkkermit
Posts: 10,398
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2/16/2012 9:02:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

You really think a child's misbehavior is 100% the parents fault? You can't control a child's actions.
Is there discrimination against women in the workforce?:
http://debate.org...

At 12/28/2012 2:54:39 PM DetectableNinja wrote:
DanT (Dan - tee), v: to excessively define every word, usually to semantical disprove an argument.
OberHerr
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2/16/2012 9:04:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

There are plenty of kids at my school that have incredible parents, but make horrible choices in life still. Parenting plays a part, but the child in the end and his/her choices in friends and what they do is what ends up playing the biggest part.

The parents place the foundation for the building, but the children make the top. It's up to them whether or not it falls down.
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000ike
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2/16/2012 9:08:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:02:11 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

You really think a child's misbehavior is 100% the parents fault? You can't control a child's actions.

I don't really want to get into my reasoning for believing in determinism, but a large percentage of behavior originates from parenting, some from surrounds and environment, some from school, and others from genetic predispositions. We ultimately don't get to choose what kind of people we become despite how we may believe we have free will.

So, there are many things you can blame for bad behavior, but the child is not one.

The problem here is that if we removed blame, there would be no pressure or encouragement to uphold certain characteristics and renounce others. We need to punish to keep this establishment clear. So, I would support punishing the child, but insofar as finding something or someone to blame and express contempt for,...it doesn't make sense to choose the child.
"any man more right than his neighbors, constitutes a majority of one already" - Henry David Thoreau

"The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything. " - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
darkkermit
Posts: 10,398
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2/16/2012 9:09:14 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:02:03 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:56:26 PM, wingalbrave wrote:
Let me ask you this OberHerr:

Suppose your job is to mop the floor after you get home from school every day. You do this without complaint because you think that you should try to be helpful. When your parents get home, they consistently track mud through the floor and force you to mop it again. You try to reason with them and request that you be able to mop it after they get home so that you only have to clean it once, but they refuse. You cannot discuss this with them further because you are afraid of them, and yet you still resent the fact that they do not treat your efforts with respect. What would you do?

I doubt that is the problem, but look at it this way.

Ah, the one sidedness of the issue. You assume everything she said is false, and everything he said was true.

You are in charge of someone, whom you love, who constantly complains about doing small, easy tasks, that take half hour max, while you work to provide for her, and you work hard on little things she wants, like the computer, spending money all the while. THEN you find out that she is not only disrespecting you and talking trash about you behind your back, but she thinks that somehow, she is a slave.

The thing is, he didn't need to find this out at all. He only found out because he wanted to be a little sneaky baestard. Do you honestly think everybody talks nice about everyone when the other isn't around?

Also, what proof is there that she is "afraid" of them?

He's her superior. You wouldn't go up to your boss/parent/teacher and say "F*ck you" no matter how bad he/she was.
Is there discrimination against women in the workforce?:
http://debate.org...

At 12/28/2012 2:54:39 PM DetectableNinja wrote:
DanT (Dan - tee), v: to excessively define every word, usually to semantical disprove an argument.
OberHerr
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2/16/2012 9:10:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:08:30 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 9:02:11 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

You really think a child's misbehavior is 100% the parents fault? You can't control a child's actions.

I don't really want to get into my reasoning for believing in determinism, but a large percentage of behavior originates from parenting, some from surrounds and environment, some from school, and others from genetic predispositions. We ultimately don't get to choose what kind of people we become despite how we may believe we have free will.

So, there are many things you can blame for bad behavior, but the child is not one.

The problem here is that if we removed blame, there would be no pressure or encouragement to uphold certain characteristics and renounce others. We need to punish to keep this establishment clear. So, I would support punishing the child, but insofar as finding something or someone to blame and express contempt for,...it doesn't make sense to choose the child.

The bolded is complete and utter bull. The childs choices are what ends up making them in the end, not the parents. Plenty of wonderful and successful people have had horrible parents, and vice-versa.
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Official Enforcer for the DDO Elite(if they existed).

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000ike
Posts: 8,340
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2/16/2012 9:11:23 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:10:12 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 9:08:30 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 9:02:11 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

You really think a child's misbehavior is 100% the parents fault? You can't control a child's actions.

I don't really want to get into my reasoning for believing in determinism, but a large percentage of behavior originates from parenting, some from surrounds and environment, some from school, and others from genetic predispositions. We ultimately don't get to choose what kind of people we become despite how we may believe we have free will.

So, there are many things you can blame for bad behavior, but the child is not one.

The problem here is that if we removed blame, there would be no pressure or encouragement to uphold certain characteristics and renounce others. We need to punish to keep this establishment clear. So, I would support punishing the child, but insofar as finding something or someone to blame and express contempt for,...it doesn't make sense to choose the child.

The bolded is complete and utter bull. The childs choices are what ends up making them in the end, not the parents. Plenty of wonderful and successful people have had horrible parents, and vice-versa.

Your reply is nothing but a knee-jerk reaction. I bet you didn't even bother to think about what I was saying for more than 2 seconds.
"any man more right than his neighbors, constitutes a majority of one already" - Henry David Thoreau

"The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything. " - Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
Cobo
Posts: 510
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2/16/2012 9:16:44 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
This girl did this stuff already, the dad let her off and warned her. And the dad is an IT(or former). So he knows how to get past that stuff. And secondly, do you guys believe children have any rights in this country?(Until 18 at least)
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darkkermit
Posts: 10,398
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2/16/2012 9:19:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:08:30 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 9:02:11 PM, darkkermit wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:59:55 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:55:43 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:51:42 PM, 000ike wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:49:22 PM, OberHerr wrote:
@Windgal

I don't know all the details, but I do know a lot of kids at school that would probably do the same thing, though I'm not sure if their parents would do that. I thin her dad has probably been putting up with this for awhile, and deiced enough is enough.

Though I always know I can go to my parents, I'm not sure if she is the type to do that or not.

You're thinking backwards....You should say "I'm not sure if her parents developed a relationship with her thats like that"

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.

What part of "parents raise children" do you not understand? ....
What part of "a childs behavior is a reflection of their parenting" is unclear?....

You want to take blame off he who created the problem, and place it on the product of that problem. You're really thinking in a backwards manner.

You really think a child's misbehavior is 100% the parents fault? You can't control a child's actions.

I don't really want to get into my reasoning for believing in determinism, but a large percentage of behavior originates from parenting, some from surrounds and environment, some from school, and others from genetic predispositions. We ultimately don't get to choose what kind of people we become despite how we may believe we have free will.

So, there are many things you can blame for bad behavior, but the child is not one.

The problem here is that if we removed blame, there would be no pressure or encouragement to uphold certain characteristics and renounce others. We need to punish to keep this establishment clear. So, I would support punishing the child, but insofar as finding something or someone to blame and express contempt for,...it doesn't make sense to choose the child.

Yes, we are basically just a byproduct of our environment, and genes.

The ability the parents have to control their child's atmosphere is actually quite limited. Once a child reaches a certain age, at least 6 hours of the day (school) can't be monitored. Then you have the scenarios If the child has friends, after school activities, etc. in which the child's environment can't be controlled. And the fact of the matter is, individuals have more influence of controlling their environment then parents ever can. Let's also not forget that brain processes are highly stochastic. I don't think any amount of genetic and/or environment could predict many of the actions I did today.
Is there discrimination against women in the workforce?:
http://debate.org...

At 12/28/2012 2:54:39 PM DetectableNinja wrote:
DanT (Dan - tee), v: to excessively define every word, usually to semantical disprove an argument.
wingalbrave
Posts: 201
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2/16/2012 9:52:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 9:02:03 PM, OberHerr wrote:
At 2/16/2012 8:56:26 PM, wingalbrave wrote:
Let me ask you this OberHerr:

Suppose your job is to mop the floor after you get home from school every day. You do this without complaint because you think that you should try to be helpful. When your parents get home, they consistently track mud through the floor and force you to mop it again. You try to reason with them and request that you be able to mop it after they get home so that you only have to clean it once, but they refuse. You cannot discuss this with them further because you are afraid of them, and yet you still resent the fact that they do not treat your efforts with respect. What would you do?

I doubt that is the problem, but look at it this way.

That WAS part of the problem according to the letter that he read out loud.
You are in charge of someone, whom you love, who constantly complains about doing small, easy tasks, that take half hour max, while you work to provide for her
You are using her as a means to spread your genes. If you do not like the obligations, do not reproduce.
, and you work hard on little things she wants, like the computer, spending money all the while. THEN you find out that she is not only disrespecting you and talking trash about you behind your back, but she thinks that somehow, she is a slave.

Her time and work were being disrespected. She cleaned quietly the first time but then was forced to clean again because they had to demonstrate their power over her. How stupid is that?
Also, what proof is there that she is "afraid" of them?

She blocked them and posted that comment. If she had been trying to openly rebel, she would have said something to them. However, she did not, indicating that she was probably afraid to. There is fear in every power relationship.
Ragnar_Rahl
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2/16/2012 10:02:56 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I'm not sure if she can legally emancipate herself or not. I personally think she should be able to but that doesn't matter (nor would she likely choose to). Regardless, a gift is a gift unless there was an explicit agreement beforehand.
If she can choose to emancipate herself and doesn't, it's all explicit in what "emancipate" means, i.e., in what one gets emancipated from.
Of course, if she can, she still probably hasn't been able to for a decade and a half or so...

She does not have any right to keep that from her parents. She is under their control and thats it.
You didn't answer his question. Do you think she has any rights at all? If so, what?

OberHerr, I find it disgusting that she felt that she had to post the comment on FB and hide it from her parents instead of being able to discuss her concerns with them.
Point. Even if he was in the right by some means, he sucks as a parent.

Yeah, blame the parents....of course.
You cannot coherently believe that parents have all the rights and none of the responsibility, whereas children have all the responsibility and none of the rights. That doesn't work. Whoever you want to hold responsible for something, that person has to have some autonomy to be capable of taking responsibility. That's not libertarianism or liberalism or conservatism, that's just human action.
:: At 2/4/2013 9:03:34 PM, charleslb wrote:
: : You view all humans as incapable of consent. I wouldn't say that it is groundless to call that infantilizing and dehumanizing.
:
: I would say that it's entirely groundless.
MarquisX
Posts: 925
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2/16/2012 10:05:53 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Tough call but I'm meaning towards, FOTY. Here's why.

When it comes to him, searching her Facebook, i don't know man. Surely she has a right to privacy but he is legally responsible for her.....idk man.

Everything else though, is entirely justified. I grew up with chores. And we didn't have no fancy f*cking dish washer. We did every dish by hand. I understand no one chooses to be born but if they're taking care of you, feeding you, giving you love, the least you can do is take out the trash.

Another thing is, notice how he didn't threaten physical violence. Notice how she never complained about physical violence. All the disrespectful sh1t she said and all she got was a broken laptop!? Are you kidding me? She got off easy.

What's wrong with discipline? If you're reading this, please tell me how you were raised.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
wingalbrave
Posts: 201
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2/16/2012 10:25:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 10:05:53 PM, MarquisX wrote:
Tough call but I'm meaning towards, FOTY. Here's why.

When it comes to him, searching her Facebook, i don't know man. Surely she has a right to privacy but he is legally responsible for her.....idk man.

Everything else though, is entirely justified. I grew up with chores. And we didn't have no fancy f*cking dish washer. We did every dish by hand. I understand no one chooses to be born but if they're taking care of you, feeding you, giving you love, the least you can do is take out the trash.

Another thing is, notice how he didn't threaten physical violence. Notice how she never complained about physical violence. All the disrespectful sh1t she said and all she got was a broken laptop!? Are you kidding me? She got off easy.

What's wrong with discipline? If you're reading this, please tell me how you were raised.

"Discipline" or physical violence is just going to lead to resentment. Also, we do not know whether or not she actually complained about domestic abuse because he did not read the entire letter, and most people do not publically complain about domestic abuse anyways. About 1/2 of the women in the United States are subject to domestic violence, but only 1/4 of the women in the U.S. file complaints.

I am willing to bet that it existed in this case, as evidenced by the fact that she tried to hide the comments from him. She was clearly afraid of her parents. Do you think he seriously let her off without beating her? He was so enraged that he shot her laptop.
MarquisX
Posts: 925
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2/16/2012 10:42:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/16/2012 10:25:29 PM, wingalbrave wrote:
At 2/16/2012 10:05:53 PM, MarquisX wrote:
Tough call but I'm meaning towards, FOTY. Here's why.

When it comes to him, searching her Facebook, i don't know man. Surely she has a right to privacy but he is legally responsible for her.....idk man.

Everything else though, is entirely justified. I grew up with chores. And we didn't have no fancy f*cking dish washer. We did every dish by hand. I understand no one chooses to be born but if they're taking care of you, feeding you, giving you love, the least you can do is take out the trash.

Another thing is, notice how he didn't threaten physical violence. Notice how she never complained about physical violence. All the disrespectful sh1t she said and all she got was a broken laptop!? Are you kidding me? She got off easy.

What's wrong with discipline? If you're reading this, please tell me how you were raised.

"Discipline" or physical violence is just going to lead to resentment.
Physical violence yes, I agree will lead to resentment. But Discipline? A non violent discipline? I argue that non violent discipline is needed of raising a child.

Also, we do not know whether or not she actually complained about domestic abuse because he did not read the entire letter, and most people do not publically complain about domestic abuse anyways. About 1/2 of the women in the United States are subject to domestic violence, but only 1/4 of the women in the U.S. file complaints.
Just the same, I don't think we should assume it does exist. She was very vocal about how she felt about her parents, trust me, if they hit her, she'd tell.

I am willing to bet that it existed in this case, as evidenced by the fact that she tried to hide the comments from him. She was clearly afraid of her parents. Do you think he seriously let her off without beating her? He was so enraged that he shot her laptop.

I'm willing to bet its not. She's not afraid of her parents, she's afraid of being grounded. That's why she hid the post. She just didn't want to get in trouble. As for him letting her off without beating her? Absolutely. You want him to be this bad guy because he's the parental figure or whatever. But he recorded a video explaining himself. Violent parents don't do that, I know. He posted it to the internet, where everyone could see. When he shot her laptop, that wasn't out of anger, he was hurt. He was clearly hurt, that his daughter would say stuff like that behind his back. I think he just wants to be a good father man.
Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive
Oryus
Posts: 7,496
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2/17/2012 3:53:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Not Father of the Year or a Massive D-bag.

I think he would have made his point a lot better if he had given the laptop to someone who would have appreciated it more. Charity- as someone else mentioned. It would have shown her how much she really owed to her parents and it would have taught her to value gratefulness. Instead, she probably just feels humiliated and even more bitter toward her parents than she already was. Add to that the spite he had to have to force her to pay for the bullets as well... he's not proving to her anything but what she already thought about him. Lesson probably not learned. Point not made. All he has done is show his daughter that he can be just as spiteful and immature as she is.

I don't know how he got the information on her facebook but by the fact that he ominously said hes an IT guy.. I'm betting there was hacking involved. In which case, I'll just agree with darkkermit. I don't have much to add to what he has said on it.

With all that said, I agree completely with the general effort to stick it to spoiled rotten teenagers- being a guardian of one myself. However, I also think it's good to be an adult and teach useful and logically sound lessons. Punishment without a message only teaches a VERY self-indulgent "I'm the boss and I'm the only one who gets to break the rules and be angry" message (which is exactly what he has done). And who the fvck cares if you're the boss? Do you really want your only lessons to your child to be that they should always obey authority figures no matter how immature and stupid they are? Nonsense. He's not a massive d-bag. But he is an immature dumbass.
YYW for prez
At 5/1/2013 11:15:33 PM, Skepsikyma wrote:
Crinack is the wall between our understanding and our intuition, it is the wild virtue lost in stifling, rigid forms of communication. It is the wall on which every poet beats, sometimes for an entire lifetime, in the hopes of opening one small crack. Crinack is not a poem. It is the poem.
Nougatrocity
Posts: 33
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2/18/2012 2:54:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Mmm, reminds me of my teenage years.

I spent a lot of time being indefinitely grounded, usually for not doing chores. I would think at a certain point it would become clear that the punishment wasn't serving its purpose, but it never did. I was never publicly embarrassed in this way, but I did come home from my after-school job late one night to find my room had been trashed. It was dirty, you see, so my father had taken all the drawers and cabinets and emptied them into a pile on my floor, regardless of what was what - that way I'd HAVE to clean it! He managed to break the player 1 controller port on my Playstation, which wasn't very useful after that - and I'd bought that with MY money.

Frustration does the feeling so little justice. Being entirely unable to actually discuss problems with people who have full control over your life leaves you feeling so empty and helpless and entirely without agency. It's no wonder at all kids act out in these situations, and it's just depressing that there are parents who can't see past the frustration of disobedience.
blackhawk1331
Posts: 4,545
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2/20/2012 10:04:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Based in what he said, she clearly did that before and was warned. I vote for Father of the Year. I also wanted to see the hole on the back of the laptop. :(
Because you said it was a waste, numb nuts. - Drafter

So fvck you. :) - TV
Calvincambridge
Posts: 1,141
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6/10/2012 11:44:26 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Did anyone see the daughters response video? And also seducing southern women is a favorite hobby of mine.
Trying to figure out women is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube with missing pieces. While blind. And on fire. And being shot.-Agent_Orange
Dude. Shades
That is all.- Thaddeus Rivers
One thing that isn't a joke though is the fact that woman are computers.Some buttons you can press and it'l work fine, but if you push the wrong one you'll get the blue screen of death.
silly, thett. girls are only good for sex. being friends with a female is of no value.-darkkermit
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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6/15/2012 10:29:17 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
Interesting case!

Now, let's review the facts.

Young girls gets upset and filled with teenage angst. To cope, she's developed a habit of venting to her friends who, with similar mentalities, are apt to agree.

Father is some sort of IT professional that at least knows his way around a social networking site, which, although droll to us, is probably fascinating to his computer illiterate friends. He uses this capacity to often spy on the conversations of his daughter, who tends to communicate with her friends using social networking sites. However, particularly given she's been caught before for what seems to be the same exact reason, she already knows that her father regularly spies on her, unless she's mentally retarded.

This means two things to me. First, that she meant for him to see that letter. Second, that she's probably afraid to say it to him to his face. Not that he's abusive, per se, but more that she has at least that degree of respect -- though she may talk back, she isn't inclined to curse her parents out.

Moreover, the father seemed quite offended that all this happened right after he spent "$130" or something like this on "upgrading" her computer, which seemed to be nothing more than putting new software (which Mr. IT pro should have known enough to get for free) and buying a new battery and power cord.

Now, unless she's really shiitty with her stuff, it's not likely that she did anything to the computer to cause it to need a new power cord and battery. That sounds like something that would happen over time -- likely years -- and given she's fifteen, that means it was probably a hand-me-down of a computer that he bought for himself when she was like, ten years old. The fact that it needed a "software upgrade" confirms this. Assshole probably upgraded it to Vista.

Add to this that he even showed the computer, and you can clearly see that it's not a Dell, it's not a Mac, it's not an IBM, it's not an ASUS, it's not a Lenovo, I mean, shiit, it's not even a Gateway. I don't even recognize that insignia. It's probably a piece of junk.

So, why would she have a fit like that to her friends, largely about chores and money, right after he "upgraded" her computer?

Probably because she sees her parent's i3's and i5's sitting around the house that she can't "play with," and freaked out on her keyboard once it took 8 years for Facebook to load in the first place. I can imagine that her computer is probably about as powerful as her cellphone.

She probably begged and pleaded with them to just buy her a new computer, I mean, damn, he took out a brand-new looking $1500 - $2000 gun with extremely expensive bullets to cap her $300 giant Motorola Razr. I'm sure she didn't give a shiit that he put that thing to rest. Either way, it's clear that he could have afforded to get her a new computer, but probably told her to get a job and buy one herself. For someone who goes to school 40 hours a week, that is asking a bit much of a 15 year old. While they're in school, people are preparing to work. There's no reason why they should work unless they have to. I'm sure she'd get farther if she could concentrate on her studies, rather than deal with assshole supervisors with entitlement issues, because they don't have the education she's trying to get.

So, to put it all together, she has to go to school for eight hours, then come home and do chores for another hour or so, and then her parents won't even buy her shiit. The most she did was write a letter saying "if you don't take care of me, I won't take care of you when you get old."

If he deserved the "father of the year" award, then he'd develop some kind of relationship with her rather than try to intimidate her with a gun, so she ends up a stripper dancing on his idiotic friends' laps.
royalpaladin
Posts: 21,713
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6/15/2012 10:33:37 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
I think what's worse is that they didn't even acknowledge the fact that she was helping out. They deliberately made the place dirty after she cleaned it so that she would have to clean it again. Who does that?
OberHerr
Posts: 12,176
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6/15/2012 10:35:36 AM
Posted: 11 months ago
At 6/15/2012 10:33:37 AM, royalpaladin wrote:
I think what's worse is that they didn't even acknowledge the fact that she was helping out. They deliberately made the place dirty after she cleaned it so that she would have to clean it again. Who does that?

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