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How do you go about relationships?

Sui_Generis
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12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?
"How true it is that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes."

"Nobody wants to be in your sig." ~Emilrose
Emilrose
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12/10/2017 3:52:21 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
I never wait, I always lay my cards on the table. If they don't like me, then that's their problem and they're not worth it.
missbailey8
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12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
Sui_Generis
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12/10/2017 4:53:58 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.
See, that's what I've sought to do pretty much every time before getting into a relationship, but starting a relationship off of a deeper friendship sets one off at a pretty serious place right away, which, for me, has made it difficult to confront any misgivings that might arise, early or late.... It makes nearly all eventual breakups one sided, and necessarily painful, and can even railroad someone who's not careful into a very involved and messy breakup, or even into an entire life / marriage....

I've never even considered dating someone who "merely" hits some basic bullet points of compatibility and "getting to know them from within the relationship." I'm just not a person built to casually relate I think... And I feel very reluctant for various reasons telling a hypothetical girlfriend "I'm not sure we're compatible in these areas."

As it happens, I think I will find myself in JUST such a relationship very soon, and I'm not sure what to think, or indeed how to think about it. It will be VERY foreign to me to be in a romantic relationship (or perhaps ANY relationship) where I am both happy and NOT relentlessly pursuing an escalation of intimacy.....

Not to dump this all on you lol, but your contribution is a good starting point for me to share my own thoughts as well.

Feel free to offer advice or attempt to argue why deviating from my past / your current strategy is laden with pitfalls (as ought everyone)!
"How true it is that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes."

"Nobody wants to be in your sig." ~Emilrose
Emilrose
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12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?
missbailey8
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12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
Emilrose
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12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P

Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
missbailey8
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12/10/2017 10:09:33 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P

Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Please stop this. I'm done talking to you about this. Stop trying to rekindle past fights in a perfectly good thread.
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
Emilrose
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12/10/2017 10:18:29 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:09:33 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P

Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Please stop this. I'm done talking to you about this. Stop trying to rekindle past fights in a perfectly good thread.

If you're 'done', why bother replying? Do you just like getting your a$$ spanked?
sadolite
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12/10/2017 10:29:29 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

I chased the ladies when I was young. Then it got more expensive as I got older. Finally I got married. But the single biggest thing I miss about being single is the hunt. Not actually getting them but hunting them and knowing you could have. Those were good times. All you youngins need to enjoy the hunt while you still can. But don't screw everything that comes down the road simply because you can.
missbailey8
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12/10/2017 10:47:51 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:18:29 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:09:33 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P

Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Please stop this. I'm done talking to you about this. Stop trying to rekindle past fights in a perfectly good thread.

If you're 'done', why bother replying?

If you think you're so much better than me, why even bother replying?

Do you just like getting your a$$ spanked?

Stop. You've been nothing but disrespectful and insensitive over the past few days, and it needs to stop. If your goal is to hurt me, fine, but I refuse to let that happen. This thread can foster great discussion, and instead you come here and try to start sh*t with me again. Isn't that just sad? Now, I think I've made my point about youduring our other dispute, so I'm heading off. Ciao.
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
Emilrose
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12/10/2017 10:56:07 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:47:51 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:18:29 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:09:33 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:43:02 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 4:37:10 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
I like to wait, because I develop a deep friendship with someone before I pursue anything romantic. If I can't be their friend, then it's not happening. Plus, I find I can trust partners more if I know them rather than just dating around to see who's right for me.

Did you also make a deep connection to your first boyfriend?

Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P

Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Please stop this. I'm done talking to you about this. Stop trying to rekindle past fights in a perfectly good thread.

If you're 'done', why bother replying?

If you think you're so much better than me, why even bother replying?

Maybe I enjoy spanking people.

Do you just like getting your a$$ spanked?

Stop. You've been nothing but disrespectful and insensitive over the past few days, and it needs to stop. If your goal is to hurt me, fine, but I refuse to let that happen. This thread can foster great discussion, and instead you come here and try to start sh*t with me again. Isn't that just sad? Now, I think I've made my point about youduring our other dispute, so I'm heading off. Ciao.

Ciao? Aw, that's cute. You learned one Italian word.

Also, if you think this thread can foster great discussion: why not add positively to it? Why are you responding to me? Haven't you got anything else better to do?

Come on, add something positive and productive to this thread.
missbailey8
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12/10/2017 11:36:56 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:56:07 PM, Emilrose wrote:
Haven't you got anything else better to do?

I do; that's why I'm hanging out with Solon instead of talking to you. :*
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
Unstobbaple
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12/10/2017 11:39:58 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive?

This, I think there are likely 5 'soul mates' for anyone on any given block but what are the chances you'll actually meet and see them in the right context to start dating them? People who end of with whomever they meet at 20 because they work or go to school in close proximity couldn't even list the qualities they appreciate in a partner and it's a shame when they end up together long term. If you've had a limited number of relationships how could you possibly know what does and doesn't work for you or what you're missing?

Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?
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Emilrose
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12/10/2017 11:40:26 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 11:36:56 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:56:07 PM, Emilrose wrote:
Haven't you got anything else better to do?

I do; that's why I'm hanging out with Solon instead of talking to you. :*

Is that also why you bothered to make this post? Right ;)
YYW
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12/10/2017 11:40:39 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

I am notoriously bad at relationships. The one I'm in now just kind of happened. We met one another, and just kind of hung around until we eventually figured out we were dating.
Vaarka
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12/11/2017 12:13:26 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

I go about them by hoping I have better chances after high school...
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Perussi
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12/11/2017 1:16:29 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
The one girl in my one class.... that's my bar now.

The bar is me still liking a girl no matter what her hairstyle is, you can do whatever the heck you want and I'll like it even if it is radically different.
"You are forgiven my child... Your lamentations have un-hardened my heart and hence I have lifted thine DDO plague of 503..."
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Devilry
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12/11/2017 2:45:48 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
I get in relationships, drink and f*ck hard for a few months, then back to the gym. Pretty much.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
Devilry
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12/11/2017 2:54:33 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
I stayed with a girl one time for about a month longer than I would've otherwise probably because she had this awesome window in her room, like looking down this semi-busy street and I really liked sitting at the edge of the bed at night naked looking out it and smoking my cigarettes, and like, you know, she'd come wrap herself around me every now and again and take a pull and whatever. lol.

But you can't look at that picture for too long, you gotta move on, see something else. That's about how I go about relationships. Like a painter goes about paintings.

tbh lol.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
Devilry
Posts: 4,016
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12/11/2017 3:15:52 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
I mean I get in relationships as a part of some cocktail. And to go to dreamland for a while.

I don't know if I'm a f*cked up person or what lol. I just gave myself surrealism there.
: : : At 11/15/2016 6:22:17 PM, Greyparrot wrote:
: That's not racism. Thats economics.
bossyburrito
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12/11/2017 4:06:23 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

http://www.debate.org...
#StandWithBossy
missbailey8
Posts: 3,063
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12/11/2017 6:30:05 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/11/2017 4:06:23 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

http://www.debate.org...

I'm sorry, but no one on DDO can live up to your standard of literally being Greta Gerwig.
~missbailey8~

Solon <3

Skep: Bailey, you have sardonic written all over your face.
Annie: She has gorgeous written all over her face!

"No one hates missbailey8 - she doesn't have enough of a persona to be hated."

"You're not quite a woman."
-YYW

The Clown Queen of DDO
kevin24018
Posts: 4,662
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12/12/2017 3:03:50 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 3:52:21 PM, Emilrose wrote:
I never wait, I always lay my cards on the table. If they don't like me, then that's their problem and they're not worth it.

Me too, no point in being in a relationship for a while only to find opposing views you can't compromise on.
I read or saw somewhere. When you are dating people change before you meet them, they are on their best behavior, want to impress etc, once they are comfortable in the relationship they act like their true selves. That's why the other person thinks they have changed, when in fact that is who they really are, they changed before they meet.
Sui_Generis
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12/15/2017 6:44:28 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/11/2017 12:13:26 AM, Vaarka wrote:
At 12/10/2017 12:50:55 PM, Sui_Generis wrote:
You, personally. Do you serially date multiple people until you find someone to go exclusive? Do you only get in a relationship with someone seriously once every few months or years even? Do you never tell anyone how you feel and just wait for someone to approach you?

What is your approach, AND what do you think is the best way and why?

I go about them by hoping I have better chances after high school...
First of all you need to catch a hint when a girl takes off her shirt in front of you

Also I'll check back when this has morphed into "hoping I have better chances after college" ;)

KEEDING
"How true it is that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes."

"Nobody wants to be in your sig." ~Emilrose
Sui_Generis
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12/15/2017 6:46:38 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P
Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Q. Why WOULD we? Why would ANY healthy person use that to define a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship?

A. The only reason is if one is just being an inflammatory prick, as you are being.
"How true it is that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes."

"Nobody wants to be in your sig." ~Emilrose
Sui_Generis
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12/15/2017 6:48:13 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/10/2017 11:40:39 PM, YYW wrote:
I am notoriously bad at relationships. The one I'm in now just kind of happened. We met one another, and just kind of hung around until we eventually figured out we were dating.
#meirl
"How true it is that words are but vague shadows of the volumes we mean. Little audible links they are, chaining together great inaudible feelings and purposes."

"Nobody wants to be in your sig." ~Emilrose
ChrisTry
Posts: 2
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12/15/2017 10:24:10 AM
Posted: 1 month ago
If I start dating someone, there is only one person for me. Oh, I remember myself for the first time with my girlfriend (now my wife). I was afraid and did not know what to do. The most important thing is that I then met her on the Internet and she was from Ukraine. But I found a way out. I gave her gifts paying through the Internet and flower delivery to Odessa to her home. Two months later we met and a year later got married. We are happy.
Do not need to meet several people at once. This offends a person. Imagine yourself in his place
Emilrose
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12/16/2017 7:09:16 PM
Posted: 1 month ago
At 12/15/2017 6:46:38 AM, Sui_Generis wrote:
At 12/10/2017 10:00:40 PM, Emilrose wrote:
At 12/10/2017 9:54:32 PM, missbailey8 wrote:
Yes, because my first boyfriend is Solon. :P
Not really, at least if we're to go by sexual intercourse/sexual acts.
Q. Why WOULD we? Why would ANY healthy person use that to define a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship?

A. The only reason is if one is just being an inflammatory prick, as you are being.

Who brought you out of your bird cage?