I am a staunch feminist and loving father of three young daughters, and yet I think this question deserves a more complex answer than a simple YES or NO. I think (I hope) we all agree that the way a woman chooses to dress is NEVER the cause of a sexual crime committed against her (as in, she is not the instigator of that crime. The criminal is.) HOWEVER-- I live in the real world, that is full of scumbag individuals who I cannot control. Is it wrong to teach my children to NOT hang out in unsafe neighborhoods where they, as suburban, naive, children, are more likely to be mugged or murdered? Am I teaching them that THEY are at fault of they get mugged or murdered? Obviously not. I'm simply teaching them to be aware of their surroundings. In the same way, I want my daughters to be aware that they exist in a world where sexual predators exist, and that these predators often treat women aggressively who dress a certain way. Do I wish I could change that? Absolutely. Can I shield my daughters from all sexual deviants out there? No way.
I know that many rape victims aren't dressed provocatively when they were attacked (but also that many are.) I believe that women should be free to dress how they want, regardless of someone else's potential reaction. I know men aren't these helpless sexual beasts who go crazy when a certain amount of skin is revealed. I'm only saying this: I've partied, clubbed, bar hopped, enough to see and hear first hand how certain scantily clad women are treated by bad men. There is some balance to be had. Do I think it's right that men "cat call" women and oogle their bodies when they go out at night? No. Will that change? No. Can women choose to dress more modestly as a means of avoiding those awful men, yes. Just the same as I'll never be able to stop all the murders and muggings, but I can certainly be aware of the neighborhoods I'm traveling through...
So answer this question, we have to go to the heart of the problem - dressing. Why do you want to dress provocatively in the first place? What exactly is the reason for doing so? If you want to dress to draw attention to yourself, then be prepared to receive both good and bad attention.
While the perpetrator is very much to be blamed for rape, I believe that the victim who dresses provocatively is equally at fault. It is one thing to say that the perpetrator could not control his desires, but it is quite another to place the entire responsibility on him. After all, it's your clothes those spark that desire in the first place.
I've had this debate before, a few times.
Nkw think please. If the odds of you getting cancer are say 45%, but increases with the additiin of smoking would you smoke? Well most do regardless, it's a decision you make knowing what COULD potentially occur. YOU took the risk, you may not have 'asked' for it yet who would? Common sense says to avoid increasing your odds of getting in danger or getting harmed. So why do it anyways?
Well known rich guy walks down a highl cime street with jewelry and cash. Asking to be robbed? No. Yet we can all agree its a highly stupid move and most likely wouldnt feel too bad for him.
Drive a car with extremely dark tints and gets pulled over twice a month. Well hey thats what happens. Cops tend to associate tinted windows with illegal activity, slight risk but the point is there.
Female stripper gets off her 2am shift at the club and decides to take a walk through the park(idk why)and well gets raped. Common sense of anyone anywhere says thats a bad move so why risk it?
All im saying is with everything theres a possibility of increasing or decreasing risk. But when one decides to increase the risk in more than one way and something happens they are partially at fault. They should imo have to take a common sense class....
No clothes+late night walk+high crime =One damn good chance of being raped.......
So hows about we all just keep our clothing on when it decreases the odds of anything happening, and take it off when the odds are already well in our favor?
Girls r obv to blame they just dress like skanks and then get surprised when a man fancies them. Like if u gonna dress liek a slut u gonna get treated and USED liek a slut jesus fuck. You woman need to cover up if u dont wanna get raped
I raped someone once. I didn't realise it at the time since it was the 60s and things were a little different back then, but basically I got a woman drunk on vermouth and then told her if she didn't have sex with me, I'd tell all her chums in the typing / admin room that she got drunk and had sex with me. It worked a charm, and yes- I chose her based on how immodest her dress was.
I think it so obvious as not to be questioned. An individual woman who dresses provocatively (what a man says is provocative), should still be able to avoid rape or harassment. But when a man sees images of provocatively dressed women every hour or every day, the effect is to progresssively increase his desire to have sex. Guess what? Women want you to be hypersexualized, or they wouldn't dress provocatively or behave provocatively. Problem is, while they might be hoping to attract a bunch of men from whom they can chose a partner (for short term or long term), every man is attracted. Some, when they are, or assume they are, rejected, will develop a rapist mentality.
Just my opinion, but I think it is true.
Do you have any idea how many sexually frustrated men are out there? Those that have no idea how to perform the socially acceptable "Human Courting Ritual" and instead are involuntarily celibate?
A pair of legs or cleavage is all they see. They don't see the person, only the object of desire. They can't really help it. Some men are so sexually deprived that it's the only thing they can focus on due to simple testosterone.
Men are visual creatures and are very easily turned on by revealing outfits. If a female is dressed so revealing and in a dangerous or secluded area then yes. She is inviting attention. Why else would she be dressed this way??
Yes she is asking for it.
This debate generates a lot of feminist hate because many women believe "I should be able to wear whatever I want and have no fear of rape." First of all, no one is completely free to dress however he or she pleases. Second of all, although no one deserves rape, there are ways to prevent it. Women are strong, and do not deserve to be sexually assaulted. Strong women also have respect for themselves. Wearing provocative clothing doesn't mean they deserve to be raped, but it increases the vulnerability of women. For example, let's say I leave my iPhone in my car. The smart thing to do would be to stash it in a cubby and lock my car. However, let's say that I leave it in the front seat of the car, leave the windows down, and leave the car unlocked. And it gets stolen. Did I deserve to have my phone stolen? No. Was the theft a crime? Of course. But could I have taken precautions to prevent it? Yes.
You see, women who dress provocatively don't deserve rape, and rape will always be a crime. But women are strong enough to defend themselves! Here's another example. Women, especially in college, are raped when they get wasted and are totally unconscious. And many liberal feminists say that "you can't blame the victim; she didn't deserve to be raped!". Well, of course she didn't deserve to be raped, but by saying that you can't "blame the victim", feminists inadvertently undermine the perceived strength of women by saying that women are too weak to defend themselves by not getting drunk to the point of unconsciousness.
So in conclusion, no one deserves to be raped. But let me remind you, the topic of this debate isn't if women who dress provocatively deserve rape. It asks if women who dress provocatively "ask for it". Well, in a way, yes. Rape is a crime, and the women is never to blame for rape. But women are strong and powerful enough to prevent rape to an extent by choosing to have respect for themselves.
You have to look at the intention behind the way they dress as well. I am a feminist, and I have been the sort of person to dress provocatively. I agree that it's never the victims fault, but as a victim and someone who dressed like a "slut", I've been there.
So women who dress like this say they do it for them selves, empowerment, personal preference. That's not true. I used to think those were the reasons I did it. Nope. It is to get attention. These women do it because of low self esteem, they think it's the only way to look beautiful and therefore have worth (beauty does not equal worth) because they feel validated by men. It's an ugly truth.
Now my point is that women should not have to feel that they need to dress this way. If they do dress this way they are not asking for it, but they sure are putting themselves in danger, needlessly. It is society that is telling women and men that women are only sex on legs and not actual people with their own agency. Women are told to dress provocatively or they are prudes and unfashionable, they entire being is just sex, made only to please men. And men are taught that women are ony good for one thing.
So asking for attention, yes, begging for it in fact. Asking to be raped, no.
Just as one wouldn't advise people to play in traffic as it can be dangerous even fatal one wouldn't advise women to dress scantily, walk alone in unlit areas at night or get so drunk that they pass out. Putting oneself into dangerous situations often leads to danger.
Obviously not all women who are raped are dressed scantily, walking alone in dark areas at night or so drunk they pass out. HOWEVER women HAVE choices as to what they wear, the company they keep and the amount they drink. Making poor choices has a higher risk of poor consequences. If someone was in a car accident and had life threatening injuries because they didn't wear a seatbelt it would be very sad but also very preventable. Let's teach women to DO WHAT THEY CAN to PROTECT THEMSELVES and MAKE WISE CHOICES. Obviously that won't stop all rapes from happening but it would make a big difference. And MEN NEED TO BE TAUGHT TO RESPECT WOMEN AS PEOPLE NOT OBJECTS!!!
Rape is such a controversy because people either have not experienced it or want to raise controversy.
When this question is asked and thought about, people do not understand that dressing provocatively on purpose is different than whether your bra strap is showing a little.
Dressing provocatively is also thought differently by everyone. One woman might think that it's going out in lingerie while another might think it is wearing a skirt. No matter, it is never the person's fault. This question is ridiculously phrased because no matter what it is different. There is a time and place for all sorts of dress and if a woman decides to dress provocatively, a man might want to rape her more BUT this is the MAN'S FAULT and not an invitation to rape. Rape is an awful, unimaginable thing.
NEVER blame the victim.
Please stop blaming victims for their own rape. When you do that, you are supporting the rapists out there. This is why 9 out of 10 rapists never see a day in jail, in America. Women are already very aware of potential danger. We think about it all the time. Now some think they should give huge lectures on what to do to NOT be raped. Since most rapes happen by those that we trust, clothing is irrelevant. Please educate yourselves on this subject. Always blame the rapist, the one who did the actual CRIME, and not the victim. Stop promoting old myths. Listen to rape victims. Most will tell you that what they were wearing were jeans and sweatpants. By putting the blame on the victim, you are supporting the rapist. How many have you helped today?
But the girl raped is too a part of it. If a thief steals something from an open house, then the thief has dome the crime. But it is the responsibility of the house owner to protect his house. So both the rapist and victim are a part of it.
I don't believe that anyone truly asks to be raped, regardless of their choice in warddrobe. Just because someone is wearing a short skirt or baring a lot of skin, does not mean that someone should take advantage of them. Not to mention, most rape victims aren't dressing provocatively when they are victimized.
Come on now. There are only 2 types of people who could answer Yes here. 1. Those who are too stupid to know better, or at least to stupid to know how stupid answering yes would make them look. And 2, those who are merely trolls trying to see what artificial controversy they can stir up.
Dressing in a certain manner does not mean that it is okay for that person to be raped by another person. I don't think anyone ever "asks" to be raped. Don't judge a book by its cover. Nobody, regardless of their choice of garments, should be raped. Not to mention, victims who don't dress provocatively are just as often victimized.
If a man were raped, no one will ask "what were you wearing?" Or "were you drunk?"...Those questions are of no relevance to the pain that an individual has faced due to their rapists lack of self control and moral value. Boys, girls, and transgenders alike should never be blamed for the torture they were put through and I hardly believe there is any grounds for questioning that... It goes without saying .
If you show up somewhere in public do i then have the right to smash your brains in with a crowbar because you arent wearing any protective head gear? I mean i assulted you but it's your fault because you didnt have anything to protect your head!
Thats how stupid you all sound who say women who dress provocitevely deserve to be raped. People who believe this seriously need to stop putting the blame on the victims. It's a free country and people can dress how they want. Stop promoting rape culture by blaming the victim for how she "asked for it" based on her short skirt.
Women and Men are NEVER "asking for it". People need to under stand that women can dress how ever they want. They shouldn't be punished for it, it's their choice on how they dress. And sometimes what you do wear can hurt you in ways but guys need to learn self control, women just shouldn't be punished for stupid things. Also no one EVER ask to be raped. People also think that it's only women who get raped but women aren't the only ones, men do to, also teens and kids. No one is ever "asking for it". The people who say yes "they are asking for it" need to open their eyes and think, what if it was your wife? Daughter or Son? Mom or Dad? Sister or Brother? Girlfriend or best friend? Or someone else who is really close to you. Just think about it, it would be horrible if that happened to someone you love. Now think again at what you said about "they are asking for it" how do you think the victims family feels or loved ones feel. No one ever is "Asking For It"
No one would ever ask to be raped so we need to stop pretending like girls "ask for it" If a women asked for it then it would not be rape! Women should not be exposing themselves in public but if they do then that does not give men a chance to take advantage of them. Get a prostitute not a random women who doesn't want to have sex with you.