The parents pressured there daughter Juliet to marry when she did not wish to putting her in a situation in which she panicked and acted on impulse , when your a child and pressured by parents they usually make irrational decisions.Other elders encouraged the forbidden love ,that was like agreeing that all the decisions they made would be good.The elders who knew about it did nothing to stop the secrecy behind the parents back or to stop the crazy idea of marriage. Since the elders did nothing of the matter they are to blamed.
The parents hated each other and Juliet was meant to marry Paris. If Romeo did not turn up at the party then Juliet would never have met him and would have lived a peaceful life with Paris and their family would be able to have a stable economy with Paris' wealthy help.
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If you think of it in a logical sense without the unnecessary gooshy "fate", they're both pretty YOUNG. Juliet is what, 13 years old? She wasn't old enough to completely understand what love was, and I'm not saying that her love didn't lie in Romeo, it's just that because of what could possibly be an infatuation caused her to act recklessly. Same applies to Romeo, and his fickle yet extreme love for Rosaline is evidence enough. They both had the decision to live or not, and wasn't pressured by their parents to take their own lives.
No, elders are not to blame for Romeo and Juliet's deaths. I'm not saying the elders were right to have this feud between two families, but everyone is responsible for their own decisions. Romeo and Juliet had decided to do what they did. They could have made a different choice - run away or wait and get married later.