Coaches should be intense. Coaches are supposed to be intense to their players, that is part of their motivation making. A coach isn't supposed to be a friend of the players, a coach is supposed to a guide on to what is accurate in the game and how to get there.
No, the rules regarding how coaches treat their players should not be considered "too strict" at this time. If you look at all the trouble professional athletes get into on and off season, it's pretty obvious that coaches don't have them on a very short leash. I'm not arguing that they should, either.
No, the rules regarding how coaches treat players are not too strict, and in fact, they are not strict enough. There are far too many cases of hazing, and far too many cases of coaches seeking sexual relationships with players, especially high school girls. There should be more regulatory agencies that help prevent these things from happening, and educate coaches before the fact on what acceptable behavior is, and what the consequences are for behavior that is unacceptable. There are a lot of coaches that should not be coaching, and harm that could be prevented. The standards for coaches are not strict enough.
If we are talking high school coaching, then no. They need to be professional and try to foster kids growth. They are kids after all. However, when you get to the professional level I think the coach has a lot of leeway. They should be able to talk to players how they want within reason.
The rules regarding how coaches treat players are not too strict. Players are usually paid a lot of money to train and be in sports. They choose to enter this field of work and there should be coaches that are willing to push them and expect that they should do good.