If you forgive a person you let go of all the anger and resentment you carry towards them, it doesn't mean you have to forget about what they have done to you. For example, if your child or friend was killed by a drunk driver, you might find it hard to forget about what happened especially if the person killed meant a lot to you but that doesn't mean that you can't forgive the driver.
As human beings it is naturally hard to forget about events or words that have caused hurt and/or pain. How each person handles the healing process is different, but it's not wrong to not automatically forget what that person did or what happened. If forgetting helps the healing for that person, then forgetting is certainly a good thing over time in that situation. But remembering what happened can be a strong shield of the person that's been hurt doesn't feel like the relationship has been fully restored or trusted again. I know I have been hurt more than once by the same person and I can honestly say I've forgiven them but bc of the hurt more than once, I have not forgotten why I was hurt. It's impossible. But I don't think that makes me or anyone else a non-forgiver or selfish person.
Forgiving is for oneself. It relieves one of the need to be angry and bitter. If one can forgive, one is a bigger person for it. That does not mean that one needs to forget, especially if the hurt was consciously inflicted or abusive. You never have to take that behavior again and remembering ensures that you won't.
It is very possible to forgive without forgetting. It is also probable that you should not allow yourself to be put in the position you were in to start with. You can turn the other cheek, but make sure you are in shape to not have it slapped. It is very easy to forgive someone, but being human, is important to remember the act that caused the problem.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the remembrance of an act that maligned you. Many times you can forgive someone but still remember what they did to you. In fact, it is important to remember what that person did so that you might reconsider your relationship in the future if they decide to do a similar malicious act towards you. Forgiveness should always be granted if you are kind person but it's not wholly unreasonable to always remember.
Forgiveness is essential to our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. Forgiveness is one step in the healing process to free you from the pain of the event. The pain, though, is not always something that will go away. Forgiveness is not saying the pain is OK, or the cause of the pain is OK. In fact, forgiveness is most necessary for those things that are NOT OK. It is also NOT saying that the other person was right. Forgiveness is freeing yourself from the bondage of that pain and making a declaration to enjoy your life in spite of what has happened.
It is useful to forgive someone who has done something that you feel is wrong. However, it is also probably a good idea to be wary and not forget the incident in case it may for some reason happen at another time. A repeat of the mistake does not bode well.
If my friend walked up to me and said that she heard I was talking about her and before I could get a word in, she starts beating me up, I'm suppose to forgive but not forget. How can I truly forgive her if i'm not going to forget what she did. It could have been a total miscommunication and everything smoothed out, but I won't be able to trust her anymore, and if I can't trust her, did I truly forgive her?
It may be impossible to make yourself completely forget something but we can choose to not think about it. If you forgive someone of an incident then there's no need to 'actively' remember the incident. If someone has done something so horrible that you can't forget what they have done the let's be honest you haven't forgiven them. The definition of forgive: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. If you're actively thinking about the incident that's a sign you haven't forgiven them. Why would you be thinking about it if you've forgiven them?
Not just towards the person you were originally going to forgive but towards any other people who may do the same to you. Sure you can forgive someone but since you still remember what they may or may not have done you are actually not forgiving them. Again your mind is left with a permanent bias. It is not our fault, we are just mere products of evolution or if you will sinners.
Forgiveness, like love, is an absolute. It cannot be taken is part, but only in whole. To say you forgive someone, but will not forget what happened is to not truly free your mind and soul from the wrong they have done to you. It cannot be superficial. It has to come with the deepest sincerity. If only the surface of the thorn is removed, what's left will infect the body and mind and poison the relationship. Learn from the mistakes, be mindful, but to truly forgive, everything must be let go.
When you forgive someone and you let them acknowledge it that's what you verbally tell them. When you forget about it, in this context, it means to be able to let go of this persons faults and move on. The difference is when you forget about it you are physically forgiving someone while saying you forgive someone only means you verbally believe it. This is hard to explain. Most people think forgetting about it means to never accept the problems existence but that is not what the forget in this quote means. If you constantly hold on to the memory of the persons faults and the trouble they have caused you that is not what truly forgiving someone is. That is simply lying to the person and saying you forgive them but continue on holding the grudge. This is my personal experience and it is also my opinion.