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Daisy Coleman rape case: Do we live in a victim-blaming rape culture?

Asked by: chrumbelievable
  • Women have legal advantage.

    Let's face it, no matter how much feminists (or rather, so-called "feminists") go on about the gender inequality in the workplace, which from a salary standpoint is backed up by plenty of data, they never admit to having the unfair advantage in the court of law.

    The mother keeps the child, and when it comes to rape cases, we (as a society) want to blame the man for raping her, even if she said yes in the end, or in the case of both parties are inebriated, the male is the one that gets punished.

  • Yes, but not for the reasons that most people think.

    I'm just going to be blunt: if you put yourself in a vulnerable situation, you're opening the door for a crime to occur. The reality is that passing out because you drank to much or being in a secluded area will increase your chances of not only being raped, but being mugged, beaten, or killed. Teaching our kids (both girls *and* boys) to be aware of their surroundings is not bad advice, considering the messed up world we live in. That being said, no matter the state of the victim, rape is *never* justifiable and rape culture does occur in ways that really are unfair:

    "She was wearing...So she was asking for it." You can't say a woman was asking for it because she was wearing provocative clothing. Men sometimes walk around with their shirts off, does that mean a woman drugging and raping him is justified? The only time someone is asking for it is if they are literally asking for it.

    "He had a bright future..." Yeah, we should stop worrying about the prospects of the rapist. No one cares if they were a well-liked young athlete with a bright future because, guess what? They're also a rapist. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. If a person rapes someone, they deserve to have their dreams shattered because the individual they raped is living a nightmare.

    "She could have lied." Really? Who would lie about something so embarrassing and invasive just so they could receive death threats and lose friends (because this is what happens in a society that endorses rape culture)? Oh, and I suppose they're pretending to suffer from PTSD and depression as well, because everyone knows that's fun? Honestly, this isn't the 1950's. We have forensics for a reason. (On this note, we should also teach young people that they should *never* wash up after a rape and go to a hospital immediately. Unfortunately, rape is such a disgusting crime that the victims will often try to erase every shred of evidence that it happened so they can try to forget.)

    "Men have biological urges blah, blah, blah..." Stop. Just stop. We are human beings; we have evolved well past the point of being dictated by "urges" and "instincts". Rather, we should be guided by rational thinking and logic. If you can't understand why it's not okay to have sex with someone without their permission, then you definitely deserve to be put away.

    "She didn't put up enough of a fight, say 'no', blah, blah..." This is a problem. The fact that some people actually think that whether or not you were raped depends on how much of a struggle you put up is disturbing. The definition of rape is pretty clear: "To have sexual intercourse with a person who did not give you their consent." It doesn't have to be forcible; if the victim didn't say "yes", you're a rapist. It's a very simple concept that everyone should understand by now.

  • Women are always blamed

    Based on what we've seen in several recent rape cases, including, but not limited to, Steubenville, OH, what we have encountered is a culture where the women are repeatedly blamed for any instance of rape they encounter. When a perpetrator rapes, there is always someone to come to the defense of the perpetrator and an argument to try to make the rape permissible.

  • Why is this even a question?

    No man has the *right* to be inside a woman. It doesn't matter if that woman decided to walk around naked in broad daylight and do the splits on the lamppost in front of rush-hour traffic, he doesn't have any *right* to *her* body! She can lead you on and blow kisses your way and even say,"Wow I'm so horny right now!" You STILL don't have the right to rape her if she hasn't given you permission, and rape is not "getting what she deserves" or "her fault for leading the guy on"! That's like saying that murdering potential suicide victims against their will is O.K. because they wanted to die anyways. Murder is still horribly wrong, no matter how you look at it, and it is NOT O.K. or justified.

    Now, I will agree that it is not very intelligent for a girl to dress in too provocative ways or to put herself in compromising situations or put "it" out there if she doesn't want someone to scoop it up. You WILL attract rapists and horny men with questionable morals and unfortunately rape is very possible when you put yourself in certain situations. It's like a person in New York walking down a dark alley in a bad neighborhood in the middle of the night. I'm not saying that women "shouldn't" be able to dress and act how they like, I'm just saying that you are, unfortunately and unfairly, making yourself a target. But even if it isn't "surprising" that something bad happened, it still isn't any less "wrong" and it most certainly does not make the crime "justified". If the person walking down the alley was mugged, I would still say that the mugger should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I also think that suicide is wrong, but I would think that any murderer who killed a suicide victim against their will should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law too. Same goes for rape victims, it is never ever ever O.K. or justified!

  • Is that even a question?

    Of course we do. We live in a society where the victim is blamed for actions that aren't their fault. There's honestly no excuse. Rather than teaching our daughters to not be raped, we should teach our sons to not rape. Not saying that men can't be raped as well, but commonly, the woman is the victim. The rape culture of our society is absolutely terrible and it needs to change. Now.

  • Yes, we do!

    I live in Bristol in England, and only recently a girl was sexually assaulted on her way back from a night out. So many people have said "She shouldn't have been alone", "It was dark so she shouldn't have gone that way", but the truth is, if it wasn't for the sex craving nut jobs out there to ruin young girls (and boys) lives, then we wouldn't have to worry about it! It is not the victims fault, it is the police for saying they can protect us but not doing such a thing!

  • Theres no excuse to rape

    Even murder can be justified in some instances, perhaps self defense. There is never an excuse to rape someone. Never. In the Studenville case the news said "this will follow these these poor boys for the rest of their lives." Being raped ALWAYS follows you for the rest of your life. People who see gruesome combat suffer from PTSD. PTSD is also very common in rape victims. ITS THAT TRAUMATIZING. Victims need therapy, medical help, and suffer for the rest of their lives feeling inappropriate guilt, flashbacks, and often can not maintain a relationship because the fear always stays with them. They also may have to go through the traumatizing experience of either aborting the pregnancy or even more traumatizing, carrying the pregnancy and being remind everday of their trauma. My cat understands "no". Saying that 16 year old boys don't or that they dont understand that they were doing something bad is just creating a worse and worse picture of someone who is sochiopathic and will hurt more people.

  • It's revolting ...

    I truly hate comments that blame the victim. I don't care how you dress, how you act, or how attractive you are--no one asks to be raped. And frankly, you CAN resist the urge. No guy is that incapable of holding off, and if they really do lack any self-control, they should be locked away anyway. The victim is not guilty, the goddamn rapist is.

    Posted by: bsh1
  • Yes yes and yes

    When a women is raped and reports it people will ask what did YOU do to lead him on and things like that. That's why many rape victims are scared to talk about what happened due to the social shame involved. So they are very blamed. People believe that they must have been acting a certain way or said something or was wearing something to lead the rapist on. It's unjustified. Rape victims already have enough problems with being raped. They don't need to be blamed.

  • Who the hell rapes there child???

    I think that raping your child is not n ok thing to do i mean if your horney go to someone else if you daughter or son doeesnt want to have sex with the mom or dad thenm they should make the chidlern to that that why they have to go to jail if they rape!!!

  • Recognizing that rape can be prevented isn't saying it's the victims fault

    A lot of people think that because individuals point out that there are things that can be done to prevent rape, that person must be victim blaming, this is a damaging and fallacious label. Just as there are things you can do to decrease the chance of your house being robbed (locking your doors at night, keeping your porch lights on, not posting when you are going out of town on facebook for everyone to see), there are things you can do to decrease your chance of being sexually assaulted, such as dressing somewhat conservatively, walking with friends, not getting intoxicated, not leaving your drink unsupervised, etc. I don't think anyone is implying that the perpetrators of these heinous crimes (whether it be breaking and entering/house robbery or rape) should be absolved of blame because of ignorant victims, it's just that if you don't want these things to happen in the first place you should be wiser.

  • Please explain how

    Our justice system is fair regarding other justice systems across the world. The disgusting criminal act of rape does not deserve respect, but also needs to be looked at logically. Some women dress slutty to attract men, but unfortunately get raped. If there is enough evidence to prove it was a certain suspect, then he will get sent to prison. If there isn't, then the man will be let go. You cannot just take a woman's word, and send an innocent man to prison, destroying his life in the process. I do not see a norm of indictment in our court systems that blame women for the things they have done which might have caused the rape. The decision is strictly on evidence, and does not blame a victim for the potential motives which may have caused them to be raped.

  • Women abetted rape in most cases

    Getting close to men, spending night with them give message to the man that a woman is ready to do sex. Now she may not be ready but according to nature of men, men understand things that way. So i don't think that it is entirely men or women's fault. I think it is a mutual fault or in legal term contributory fault.

    Blaming only one party is NOT JUSTICE.

  • No reason to suggest it

    The police have given advice to women that they should not dress provocatively in certain places where rape is common. This is just the same thing as advising someone to be careful in the woods if there was a bear. Noone would suggest that they deserve to be assaulted by a bear if they are not careful, but the fact remains that advice like this might save you from the ordeal and so should be considered. Moreover, rape is an extremely hard crime to prosecute partly because victims find it not worthwhile to go through the court process. The fact remains that in courts you must prove WITHOUT A RESONABLE DOUBT that the rape occurred and that is extremely difficult in some cases. Just because we refuse to imprison people simply because they were branded as rapists does not mean that we are encouragingthis behaviour.

  • Rape culture does NOT exist in the US

    1) There is an argument I've read on here, tumblr, and heard in real life: teach boys not to rape. It does not work. We learn from the beginning that hurting someone (as long as it isn't self defense) is not okay. We know that it's "bad". How do we know this? Take for example a bully and his victim. The bully is beating up his victim; he knows that it's wrong, yet he doesn't care. However, while he doesn't care that he's doing damaged to that victim, he doesn't want to get caught. Why? Because there will be serious consequences. Why? Because it's WRONG.

    Rapists know what they're doing is wrong because most of them do not want to be discovered. There will be serious repercussions if people find out who raped the boy or girl. Teaching rapists something that they already know is wrong but do not care is pointless.

    "Teach rapists not to rape!" is the same as saying "Teach robbers not to rob!", "Teach murderers to not murder!", and "Teach terrorists not to terrorize!". Really people? Have we come to this point in our world? I personally am going to keep my doors locked, my alarm system working, and the bat and gun in my house close to my bed so I can fend off someone sneaking into my house trying to hurt me and my family. I am also going to continue to walk with a friend at night, keep a weapon in my purse, and be vigilant in an uncomfortable position. The amount of naive people in the US is increasing drastically. This statement proves this.

    Also, it is clearly sexist to assume that males of all ages can't be raped by a female. The argument "teach boys not to rape" is invalid, unthought out, and sexist.

    2) Recognizing and teaching the ways rape can be prevented is NOT victim blaming. Many people will combat this by saying, "Teaching men not to rape prevents rape" <-Read point (1) again to read how this point is invalid. Teaching our daughters AND sons how to steer clear of a dangerous situation and/or how to get out of one is responsible, logical, and important.

    Teaching your daughter to keep a weapon (whether it be pepper spray, a pocket knife, or whatever) in her purse rather than teaching her to not worry about walking down a deserted street at night, dressed in a short black dress, is good parenting. It shows that you care about her well being. Teaching your son the same thing shows you care about him.

    3) Asking where the victim was, what he/she was wearing, and evaluating the rape claim is NOT victim blaming. We learn from the information extracted from the victim's responses. We also assure that the rape really did happen - that it's not a girl trying to get back at an ex or her upset that she had sex with someone. Regret after sex =/= rape.

  • Rape shield laws (for ALLEGED victims only)

    We have many Rape shield laws in the us that protects the alleged rape victims. Some are cannot give out the alleged victim's name or picture to anyone except those involved in the case to others are arguably unconstitutional like preventing certain evidence to be presented in a courtroom, some of which could be key evidence in proving a defendant's innocence. By the way, those laws only protect the ALLEGED victim NOT the ALLEGED attacker. The ALLEGED attacker can have his or her name, picture, and reputation slashed and slandered by the media as the media see fit. Again I said "ALLEGED" remember it was suppose to be "innocent until proved guilt" but that's not happening anymore and with a new wave of rapes where it turns out the "victim" made everything up such as the more recent "Duke's lacrosse case."
    In the Duke's case, even the feminist that cried out stop victim blaming has resorted to victim blaming except in this case the real victims were the "alleged attackers" that turn out to be innocent. Some feminist websites say that it's the boys' fault that they got accused for committing a rape that never happened because they decided to hire strippers. Whatever happened to NO victim blaming? Double standard Feminist anyone?

  • Warnings are not the same as blaming

    The fact that we warn individuals to avoid certain behavior that can possibly lead to their harm has nothing to do with saying it was their fault. We do not tell rapists not to rape because that is silly; it is well understood that there are severe consequences for rape, and we do not tell potential rapists to "avoid going out at night if you are feeling very aroused" because that implies the rapists have no control over their own actions. We cannot simply get rid of all future rapists, we can only get them after a rape, so there should be warnings out to avoid these malignant criminals in order to prevent it from happening in the first place.

  • Take care of yourself

    Let's be real here and forget all the feelings and messy emotions. Correcting the ignorance of rape victims is not victim-blaming. Telling someone not to dress too provocatively and act too loose is not victim blaming, it is a safety measure. Yes, we shouldn't have to live in a society where passing out drunk can lead you to such unfortunate circumstances but guess what, WE UNFORTUNATELY DO! It seems like no one wants to hear this though. We are always going to have disgusting people like this, there's no way around it. The best way we can fight it is to take proper care for ourselves and make sure to stay clear of bad situations by making smart decisions. Informing the victim of better ways he/she could've avoided the situation is not victim blaming, it's the smart thing to do.

  • Women have to take some small measure of responsibility for themselves.

    I am not saying "they deserved it" because of the way they dressed, what section of town they were in or because some guy bought them dinner. However, when women drink and/of take drugs that inhibit their judgment around men that are doing the same thing, then, yes, they do share some measure of the responsibility when they wind up having sex. What are men supposed to do? Carry around a portable machine to measure a woman's intoxication every times they have sex? That is unrealistic. Women too often abuse the laws that were put into place to protect them.

  • No, 'Rape Culture' doesn't exist

    If there was a ''Rape Culture'' then rape would be completely normal, no normal person considers it so. Murder happens, but no one suggests we have a ''Murder Culture''. Also, who, in the West, actually blames victims? It goes completely against any basic logic.


    You’ll often hear very uneducated people make statements like, “If people taught their sons not to rape women then we wouldn’t have a problem.” There are a couple of problems with this statement.

    First, it’s incredibly ignorant. Anybody who’s ever watched the news knows that rape is illegal, and yet the above paints the picture that our society is failing to educate young men on rape. Secondly, it implies that education can prevent true acts of evil. We teach kids not to murder and rob, but people still do it.


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themohawkninja says2013-10-18T00:30:11.413
Mine is supposed to be in the NO column btw.