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Everyone knows that the Elves and Santa only eat candy canes and other sweet treats. The Elves started eating this way when they were children which is what stunted their growth. Santa started eating this way as an adult which is why he is so jolly and obese. Healthy foods such as vegetables are saved for the reindeer.
As we saw in the wonderful Christmas movie Elf, sugar is the main staple food of those who live in the North Pole. That is why they, and that includes Santa, "a right jolly old elf" stay so small. But on the other hand it is also why they stay so active, efficient, and spry. Their candy cane high serves to make them hyperactive, a good quality for their job description.
The assumption that these little fellas eat fatty foods exclusively leaves them with no obvious form of muscle-building foundation, which, as logic dictates, is necessary to toil within the extremely labor intensive toy factory. Given that their small stature exacerbates the effects of this abusive work, it becomes 100% necessary to consume healthy foods in order to meet the ever-mounting physical (and mental) demands. In addition to this, sweets lead to erratic crashes, which is presumably unacceptable in their line of work.
Elves eat fruit and veggies. They do not eat meat. Sadly, that means they do not share my love of eating ponies. :( I know this because I am a child prodigy!!! I go to Yale university, and I a 8 going on 9 months. I like to eat ponies, horses taste ok with skittles, but, most of all, I LOVE EATING FLOORS. FLOORS ARE THE BEST. FOR MY SECRET RECIPE ON " THE BEST FLOOR YOU HAVE EVER TASTED, VISIT theanonymous8monthold.Com
sincerely, the anonymous 8 month old
P.S: Why am I the only child prodigy at Yale?