For me, those who support the Union (your WASPs, Nords, Jews) not only are arrogant but openly racist. Many know that Lincoln appointed a racist. Neo-Confederates are very warm and friendly people on average, so it's no so much if the South is friendly or not (that's a moot point), just who you side with.
Lincoln was a racist, so were the Union army members. OPENLY racist. And they would go on to lynch non-whites.
You hear neoconfederates shouting "the South shall rise again!" and see them waving confederate battle flags around. I've never seen Union supporters doing anything similar. The neoconfederates are the ones who seek attention not Union supporters. Most Union supporters just think of it as common sense, so we don't need to be flashy about it.