If you can't contribute an intelligent remark; please bite your lip and be quiet!
Cheating? *sigh* Jealousy much?
God meant? *sigh* Ever actually picked up the book and went throught the text? Or you have psychic abilities and can read God's mind? *sigh*
99,9%? *sigh* Making up numbers sure works in your "advantage." Leave non-Western countries out of it; they have no I-net and cannot even post here!
Unless consensual and honest and not imposed by religions NO *sigh* finally someone who gets it, but put it on the wrong side..! Sorry, but ALL relationships should be like that! A guy having sex with a woman, without any other partners or people involved, against the woman's will is still called rape, no matter how "pretty" you want to describe it!
According to some article I read at some point that I don't remember and am certainly not going to bother to source. *sigh* Very intelligent remark indeed... Actually; biologically speaking; a man only "needs" to stay with a woman for about 4 years, until the child is old enough to walk and survive "on it's own" without the help of the father, so if that's your argument, than entire society is nonsense, forcing men to behave against mother nature in this fake illusion of "needing" to stay with one woman for the rest of their life.
* Respects his woman/ women
* Treats his woman/'en as equals, even though he is the decision maker in the end
* Never uses violence
* Does not hurt anybody's feelings (on purpose, accidents always happen, in the end; we are "just" human and DO make mistakes)!
* But when he does; he WILL regret it, apologize and make it right!
There are MEN and ***holes everywhere, both in "normal" relationships, as well as in any other kind of relationship!
But people are too stupid to actually think for themselves and only look at small percentages or reason from their own pathetic narrowminded self-absorded "I'm better than all the rest" Egocentric point of view, so if you're one of those people; by all means; Bite your lip and $%^ up!
Thank you :)
Ps. Happily married, more than enough money for 10 lifetimes, everyone healthy, what more could you need? :)
I have been in a relationship with one man for 10 years. I am also bisexual. My husband is Straight. It was I who presented the Idea to him and we both agreed on what was going to be OK and not. Later our mutual wife came into the picture. She could not have children but she is a wonderful mother. My husband was concerned at first but it also made our relationship stronger and we don't cheat on one another. we finally went overseas to get legally married. She is Bi and so am I and it works well for us. Imposing your own ideas on us is the only problems we face. But we all also work and our husband is not a leach. He works his butt off and we both along with the children love him. PS,. Religion had nothing to do with it, We are atheists btw.
I'm a shy person who loves her husband but would not mind sharing him with a woman-also a friend as long as we are all contributing. It would be nice to have a confidante and friend all the time. I find it more "normal" then homosexuality or bi or polyandry.
I have two partners - one is my husband under the law and the other my husband in my heart as a second husband is illegal (which I find highly irrational). I love both my men and they love me. The relationships I have meet different needs of mine and I definitely need both in my life. It is very hard sometimes because my law husband would prefer monogamy but he works hard to be open and he benefits greatly in many ways and makes his choice freely as he does not wish for the alternative. It is a great responsibility but one I cherish deeply and feel privileged to enjoy.
The world is changing by the minute. The American work force has changed drastically over the last thirty years. Women now receive more college degrees than men and thus have a higher earning potential. Men on the other had have begun a trend of regression by choosing not to go to college and taking less paying and successful careers. Why on Earth would an educated woman choose a lesser partner just because he's single? An expansion to my argument would be that if you were to look at statistical data you could easily see that women out number men in every age group past child hood. So logic would dictate that woman have fewer choices in a partners than men. With a smaller pool of mates to choose from this leaves women with the choice to hope there is a good single man left, try and take another woman's husband, or live in a plural marriage. I see no reason what so ever that three adults couldn't make a healthy and happy life together. As for the legal side it's only a matter of time until outdated laws get overturned. We as a society need to practice acceptance of others and be more open minded in general.
If your brother is dead and his wife stays alone, you can't leave her and her children. You accept her and her children if she has and after sometimes she becomes your wife. This principe worked and is working in my country. Also it is helpful if your wife can't give birth baby, for having baby you take second wife
Adding a 2nd or more wives means everyone can have a "part" that is considered theirs. Example is a wife who loves to clean and a wife who enjoys cooking large family meals. Everyone has their nitch in the home and don't feel as stressed over doing everything as a single female does.
After the kids are grown and on their own, I can see this as a good thing. It not only gives more sexual variation and may spice up one's life but also gives everyone more social interaction and support. Of course every one has to be on the same page.
Men who practice polygamy are generally financially secure and able to support several wives. It is not surprising that women who marry men solely for financial security find polygamy beneficial. The more wives the man has, the less time he will be able to dedicate around each wife; thus, giving more freedom to each woman.
Not all women will or won't, but I'm sure some women do. Especially for those who wish to have large families, splitting up childbearing and rearing between several women is probably very convenient. Besides, it goes both ways - women can have multiple husbands, too, and it's considered polygamy. Not sure why any woman would WANT to put up with several men, but that's their choice.
Coming from a mother, there is entirely too much pressure put on women in the household. Often I find myself to tired to tend to my wifely duties. If my husband were spending time in another household that I knew about I don't think I would be too bothered. Also to share the responsibility of raising children with another woman would be interesting and I would think helpful.
A lot of people are in favor of having polygamy. But did they ever look at what the court has said about polygamy? It has said that polygamy is barbaric, like witchcraft, etc. Well, if that is so, then polygamy is polluting the Bible, and the Bible needs to be discontinued because of this fact. That's it; ban the Bible because it promotes polygamy! Just check it out.
Although there are some benefits in cultures that have a long tradition of polygamy, there are also negative things about it as with everything. One of the primary benefits is the distribution of work among a group of women rather than all the work being on one woman. It also gives the children much more support as they have several mothers who can take care of them.
Polygamy gives women the freedom to choose. In the case of polygamy some women may want to share a husband. Many women would agree to share a good husband than to have a bad husband all to themselves. In many cultures and places around the world there is a great imbalance in the suitable wife to suitable husband ratio. A women can receive help raising there children and domestic duties by other wives. Plenty of help if you get sick and tired. Wives can bond and build lifelong friendships while sharing one man and having children together who are siblings. There are financial and economic advantages as well as wives and husband can pool their resources together as a team. I see many advantages to plural marriage, we should protect the right for consenting adults to choose who they love.
Polygamous living situations certainly have many drawbacks, but they also have some benefits. Women living with a single man in polygamous relationships often share child-rearing responsibilities with each other. Living in a polygamous situation, then, can be equivalent to having a 24-hour a day on-call babysitter. It can leave women who are more interested in furthering careers able to do so while also raising children. It also enables women who are more interested in childrearing to do so without worrying about a financial need to work, since not just a male, but also another female spouse supports the family.
I actually am not married to both of my partners. It is illegal. However I enjoy a happy, long term non-monogamous relationship. The added emotional, physical and financial support withstanding, I enjoy the freedom to love both my partners fully for the unique individuals they are.
They are able to enjoy the support of another male without the work of friend finding. And of course if they found a special someone they wished to add to the mix, we all would be able to benefit from a new friend, and potential life partner.
I believe women who engage in polygamy probably help each other out all the time. They can share in the child care responsibilities, and the household duties. They can enjoy the camaraderie, and forge friendships and take turns when it comes to who gets the privilege of having sex with their husband. This could save a lot of headache for the ones who are just not in the mood.
Polygamy has received a bad rap because of unscrupulous men marrying very young girls who were forced into it. But, polygamy between adults who can consent and who are committed to such a marriage isn't as immoral as most people would think. The sister wives all work together to raise all of the children, keep the home in order, and bring income into the home. The sexual pressure is taken from one woman and distributed evenly among the wives, and so is the responsibility of nurturing him.
I have a husband and a wife and We all enjoy the relationship. No one feels threatened or insecure. We all love each other. I am the only one with shildren by our husband, she can not have children but shes a very good mother to them as well. I could not ask for a better situation. I am noe in any cult nor was I raised like this however, it was a choice we made and it works well for us. I am not being abused, exploited and all of us are well educated and hold pretty respectable jobs, our children also do very well in school. I admit as a woman you have to have good self-esteem and be very clear on who you are and what you want. I value myself and my family and I would'nt have it any other way.
Having multiple female partners, can provide better care for children and also enhances the childs intellectual development. Household chores would become simplified because work could now be split between all the female partners. Polygamy also reduces male reproductive idle time when 1 women is gestating, the male can mate with another female which makes sense as well.
These days one doesn't have to engage in polygamy if they really don't want to. That being said, there seems to definitely be benefits for the women in polygamous relationships. They are part of a village, so there is a support network in place. The weight of things like child rearing, bills, household chores, etc. is distributed in such a way that they have less to bear than a woman in a traditional marriage. And, they get a break from their man. They don't have to tend to his needs as much.
"Polygamy" includes "polyandry" so a woman could marry several men if polygamy was legal and would benefit from having more men to love and to pool together funds from their jobs so that expenses per person is less than if she only had one man.
We have witnessed a serious deterioration in the state of marriage in this nation. From unconditional divorce to children outside of marriage, finding a husband who is willing to commit to life to supporting a woman and her children has become a challenge. Should that minority of men be fought over by the larger number of women who want them? Or should we consider allowing marriage? I would add the qualifier that all involved are over 18 and that the first wife must be allowed to veto the addition of another wife. But if all agree, how we to say no? If we are permitting two men and two women, why not two women and one man? We could put restrictions on family size to ensure that the family can provide for all children, such as denying welfare benefits to a polygamous union. But if we ignore the man with a wife and mistress and glorify the gangster singing of his multiple bitches, we cannot deny two women who choose to share a husband.
Being male, i wlll try to be very cautious with my answer. But i see a lot of the negative comments are only referring to polygyny (one man, mutiple women), but not to polyandry (one woman, multiple men) which can be found in more societies then previously thought, as a recent study by a US-University showed. And of course there can be mixed-sex and same-sex polygamous relations.
I blog about these themes and as far as i can tell from my research, the question, if polygamous marriages turn out well depends on the same factors as with monogamous amrriages: do the partners treat each other good, talk to each other etc.
And the cases, where polygyny (one man, multiple women) turns out bad for the women ususally can be found in societies, where the women in general have a lower status than the man and are not treted well in general. That is what needs to be corrected.
If both sexes have equal status before the law and in society than there is no reason why polygamy - in any of it´s many forms - should ot be benficial to women.
If you would like to find out more about the many forms of polygamy got to Wikipedia, or to my english language blog, which you will find in my profile.
By practicing polygamy, a woman does not psychologically value herself enough to demand a monogamous relationship and the practice reinforces this perception. The practice devalues women as equal beings, worthy of undivided attention and love. It also devalues her children psychologically.
In any loving relationship, there should be give and take. In a healthy monogamous relationship, both partners understand the others needs and do what they can to fulfill them. In a polygamous relationship, things become unfair. A woman might give all her attention and time to the husband, but only get a third or a quarter of his.
I my self being an only daughter of a second marriage, with three half brothers ,struggle with finding time to merely speak with my father, him being a truck driver and working 5 days a week for ends meat! I can only imagine how Polygamist children feel. Jealousy and preferance comes to play because you can not sit her and tell me that that man loves ALL his wives and ALL his kids the same it's just not possible. Then women we all know most of our bodies will not be sexy reaching certain years in our lives we will get rolls and lumps in the wrong places and all he has to do is marry younger oh how sooo convenient. isn't it? how can we sit here and take this all the jealousy it is not right!
Women, no matter what race or ethnic group, are by nature monogamous. The family unit is seriously compromised when there are multiple lovers resulting in multiple fathers of children. It is impossible in such a situation to be in harmony as there are bound to be jealousies and difference of opinion in how time is spent, raising of children, etc.
God meant for a marriage to be between one man and one woman. Anything else is adultery. End of story. A marriage is sacred and not meant to be tainted with temptation. Sex is supposed to be with one man and one woman. Not two or three. I do not mean to bash anyone's "religion" but I cannot see justifying sleeping with 3 or 4 people and saying you are truly in love with each one the same as the others. There will be one who out stands the rest, that you cannot live without, and that is who you are meant to be married to.
I see polygamy only beneficial for men rather than women. As a woman why how can I tolerate my man sleeping with another woman then coming back to sleep with me; that's straight up nasty. I think men should consider a woman's feelings and try to put themselves in the same position how would you feel if your wife had more than one man. You'd die of jealousy.
Who owns what and who gets how much of this or that. It was made illegal because it was difficult to handle in court. It also raises issues. Women have the habit of being emotional. They often get jealous easily, and wouldn't be able to handle this situation without being brain-washed by their husband. Any women that says otherwise simply hasn't been in a polygamy relationship.
Because it is always men who benefit from it and women who are forced into doing it .... women are always the victims...
When and as long as consensual, it is the business of those involved..
It is also very dangerous healthwise ..
So i would not mind living with a man i loved even if he had another wife and she agreed for the company and the support ...
I would be very scared about the sex and the risks that goes with it ... but it would help me not to fill as lonely as i do
But in the name of religions it is abuse.
According to some article I read at some point that I don't remember and am certainly not going to bother to source, it is naturally beneficial for woman to be monogamous with one partner (said Captain Redundant) in order to have a stable unit for the raising of children. While I'm sure some random woman might find polygamy beneficial, in general that does not appear to be the case.
Polygamy might once have been justified, however it serves no purpose in modern society. Polygamy provides an unstable relationship, with an accompanying higher risk of abuse and exploitation. Also, there is a high negative stigma, and often penalty, associated with this alternative life style. Sharing a single husband with multiple other wives merely reduces the quality of marriage experienced by each individual woman. An added risk is the increased chances of contracting an STD with each partner that is added to the mix.
When people are finding it difficult maintaining a small family and keep their jobs, I wonder how they manage to afford multiple partners and kids? Of course, one can argue that kids do not need support beyond 4 years? But what are you going to do with them after that? Throw them to dogs? Make them work for themselves while you are busy finding new partners? It works in animal world as animals do not pay taxes and they have lots of free food and kids can survive beyond a point but unfortunately we don't have such luxury. And support is hard to come by even with multiple partners in this economy. Forget emotional support and that I will leave for another discussion but working by the logistics, woman, you are asking from trouble if you want to just fly around like a butterfly. The stress should be in finding a stable partner so that you do not suffer heartbreaks/psychos/getting raped/physically abused but changing partners can be very expensive. We have the good old mind to think before stepping into a dangerous relationship but that does not explain why you should choose polygamy. A guy(if you are sharing a guy with multiple partners) or a group of guys(if you are having multiple partners) can still be a disgusting human being irrespective of the relationship status. Multiple partners to share him with won't add to his character. Are we saving humanity by proving to share our partners? Wow. Does that make us very broadminded? Nobody can force another person to stay but why blame the society for the internal conflict. Society is made by the people who form the society. We should stop rationalizing our acts and there is always a choice. In my opinion, polygamy sounds foolish.
And I am not fool enough to support being treated like cattle or pet animals. One is good, two is even better. Aww! No, if a man needs more than me, I don't need a man at all! Sperm donation works equally well you know for having babies. Be careful before you thrust polygamy, some of us women won't put up with it.
Being a woman myself I can admit that our gender is much more emotional, territorial, and jealous. Just from these attributes alone I believe the majority of women would not find polygamy beneficial. If it was one husband with multiple wives I feel that the women would harbor ill feelings towards each other and also find themselves feeling insecure with themselves, possibly comparing themselves to each other. If it was one wife with multiple husbands then the women would probably be able to handle that more easily, however I don't believe her emotions would allow her to be sexual with all her husbands and feel good about it. I also don't think women really want to deal with the trials and tribulations of marriage with more than one person.
It is a timetable marriage which is very restrictive of time hence no quality in the relationship, or the lifestyle.
Its emotionally burdensome and very painful for the woman.
So how does a man provide an enriching life for old age with two women?
It doesnt work unless there is some benefit for all parties involved.
I'm sure there are happy and healthy polygamous marriages. However if you just use logic... Such as the ratio between men and women is about 50/50, so if one man can have even just 2 wives, that means someone will go without a wife. This is unfair. Also, if my husband wants additional spouses, then he has to accept that I should be allowed to do so. If the world works this way, I think there would be a lot of chaos.
When people are finding it tough to manage a small family and keep a job in this economy, it is going to be very interesting to watch how they manage multiple families and multiple partners. Forget jealousy, God's will and what not, but I wonder how people support their families? A man needs to stay with the woman until a kid is 4 years? Fine. Agreed but what are you planning to do with the kid after 4 years? Throw him to the dogs or get him a job to fend for himself? At least third world countries may afford that but I don't think kids are allowed to work for themselves out in your world. Financial support will always remain a primary responsibility of the partners and the more relationships you have, the more the responsibility. Animals do not pay taxes and they do not care about finances but we do and believe me when I say that financial support from multiple partners is hard to come by in this economy. Every man and woman have the responsibility to treat each other with respect. Nobody can force another person to stay but if the world is going to stoop to flying away like kites where our whims and fancies take us, then you learnt to fly my dear, but you will never touch the ground. Believe me, non-Western countries do have I-net and do think about such things.
Complicated minds need deeper emotional support and it is not easy to get that while sharing partners. It is also not an easy answer because it does not end with two humans coming together. Marriage teaches patience and understanding the other person. In my opinion, it takes a lifetime to develop that mutual understanding through changing phases and needs attention and nurturing. It is agreed that men and women do not need to be together for too long to raise kids but they need each other to live. Now what is important is a matter of choice. Do you want to stay for a lifetime and be there for your companion in life's endeavours or do you want to frolick with different partners to increase your gene pool? I choose partnership because I believe raising kids is a phase but I want someone to be with me until the end of the journey. Someone who sees me and had a long ride with me to relate to. It isn't easy but then it is an adventure. Change is like a facade and it will always distract us and save us from getting bored. But what if I have to be with this one person all the time. There will be crazy times ahead. Changing my partner or having multiple partners will keep it interesting and that is the mischief that the mind weaves on us. The mind screams 'go my friend...take the easy way. But there is another way and it has no immediate rewards. But I will stick to it. Otherwise I never learnt anything in this life.
I don't believe in God laying the rules but I believe that there is hope for humanity and people can live less like animals and are more interested in exploring the complexities of human emotions. Partnership is one of those complexities and unless a person is ready to dig deeper and has the patience to stick till the end of the journey, it is hard to explain why monogamy is important.
It's ridiculous to think that polygamy would strengthen the bond between any married couple. Although raising children can be a tough thing to do, no married woman should have to share their husband, and same goes to the married man. It is called cheating for a reason, regardless of if the woman knows or not.
Polygamy is most commonly practiced in Christian cults, including some Mormon groups. In these situations, women are generally subservient to men, have a lot of children, and don't work outside the home. Because only the first wife is the legal spouse, none of the other wives would get social security benefits if the husband died. Large families with only one wage-earner are likely to live in poverty. I can see no benefits in this kind of arrangement.
There have been too many cases in America where people have been polygamists, and have caused great harm to the women to whom they were married. I think polygamy is terrible, because it often views women as something that exists merely for a man's pleasure. Marriage is meant to be beautiful and equal. It is never meant to demean one gender for the lusts of another.
Polygamy is not beneficial to a woman involved in it. It is harmful because it is using women in a way that is positive toward meant but hurtful towards women. The men can go from woman to woman and not have to worry with really pleasing any one of them because his feelings always come before theirs.
I have been married for 18 years now and I could not imagine sharing my husband at any point in those 18 years. Marriage requires hard work and a solid commitment from BOTH partners. How can the polygamous partner be committed, really committed to any one of his marriages. How can you really love more than one person and justify that love to your other marital partner? I understand that almost all of the women in polygamous relationships are there simply because they believe that this is the only way to get into heaven, because what rationale, sane woman wants to share her husband with anyone. Television is full of talk shows that thrive on the jealousy between a jilted wife/girlfriend and the one who jilted her. No one, not even those in polygamy deny the jealousy that occurs, but they learn to "keep sweet" in order to get into heaven. I say that I am glad that my God is a forgiving God and not one that forces me into polygamy.
99.9% cases of a man taking other wives, is his choice, without the consentment of the wife.
Men do it not to help the wife but to satisfy his earthly sexual appetite and power and pride, as well of competing with other men.
More women resulting in more children, more mouth to feed, more space to accomodate reducing the economic wealth of the family and more conflicts than unity.
Men spend more time with some wives than others, don't know much about all his children. He fail to satisfy all the wives sexually and economically.
in so many polygamous relationships either the women hate on each other, or ignor the husband by becoming lesbians. Specially between the 1st and 2nd wives, who get less attention overtime.
when a society have options such as polyandry(one wooman many men), same sex relationship (single of mutiple), bi-sexual relationships, people can join to remain celibate, single but sexually independent (males, females and gays), then polygamyhabe it rightful place; other than that, it's just a Patriarchal (male supremesy ego which leave the community poorer with no balance, no harmony, no proper family planning, no population control; leading to no economic growth, high unemployment etc.
most polygamous countries, are the poorest on earth.
Marriage is meant to be a beautiful and positive thing. It should be an equal partnership, rather than an imbalance. A polygamous women may give her husband 100% of herself, but only gets 50% from her husband in return.