When I was seven, I thought everybody had superpowers and I was immortal, then people told me that immorality couldn't happen in life so I became Christian and decided to be a great person to go to "heaven." So, when I heard about death, I was excited to go somewhere like that, past events have led me to atheism, because it's clear now- that death is mandatory and I do not fear it. It's probably just like sleep.
It was the day my great grandmother died, I was 4 or 5 years old. My mom said that she had died and I inquired what that meant and she said it meant she was no longer here and I wouldn't see her again. I imediatly started crying I was so upset I felt as though life had no meaning. I didn't want to die. I couldn't comprehend the idea of never seeing my grandmother again. I guess I didn't really understand death I just knew it meant you could never see anyone again but once I grew up I figured it like meant you stopped breathed and were well dead.
How: I was having a conversation with my mom where she mention in passing that her grandmother died. Up until then I didn't really understand what death was. I knew people dies but i didn't really get that it was an inevitable concept. I asked my mother who killed her because i though to die you had to get a disease or be in an accident or get killed. My mom didn't really register what was happening and just said "no one she was old"
I don't remember how exactly old i was i estimate 5 i was little. I remember my feel ins about it shallowly. I remember being confused and then a little stunned when i figured it out but like all little kids, i recovered after about 5 minutes and moved on.
At first, death meant for me that I couldnt enjoy hearing my brother and my sisters anymore. I dedicated the majority of my youth to making sure i would have the best career to support them so when they do die i know i did all that i could so they could do die peacefully. It took me a while to live past it, this still troubles me at times. As i got older i have changed in many ways. Yes we all are forced to grow but the change that took place in my life was entirely different from growing.Now death is the same in some aspects, it just not as sad as it used to be. Now i welcome it, even though i will still miss my family.
I can't say exactly when, but at one phase in my life I thought "wow, I'm gonna die" I accepted it and moved on. But as of late it's a scary thought, and I realize that death itself is more meaningful than life. And last moments are the most bittersweet. Watch the short film kiwi and you'll understand
When I was little I never really understood it at first, but when I did it came as a big shock. I was worried sick, especially if I would go up to heaven or not, I believed I was going to go to Hell. For a couple of months I couldn't go to sleep very well and was worried I would never wake back up again, so I went up to my mums room and mostly slept with her I was only 6 you see. I would be scared to not say I love you and stay safe when she left the house in case something bad happened to her. After a while though and a couple of years I started to get over it and accept it.
I first found out when i was around 5 or 6, since a family member of mine passed. Before that, i always thought people would just vanish in their dreams and become clouds choosing to be something in the sky and that is why we could see shapes in clouds. However once i found out, i was confused and felt like i was deep in a room on my own, as if I was the only one not understanding this and i had to go through it on my own. I was happy though, that people get put out of their misery, when my mama explained that some innocent people get taken away. I began to believe in whatever god chooses, is for a good purpose and that everything happens for a reason and that you should accept or embrace your fate, not reject or avoid it.
I feel as though I never truly understood what death was until I was an adult and watched a family member die in the hospital and interacted with him throughout his journey. His dignity and confidence throughout the process of dying provided me with great comfort with regards to death; a wonderful gift and legacy for sure.