I have worked with adopted people for many years. My experience is that the loss of identity has a huge impact on the child as adult. The questions "where am I from", "who were my parents" etc., are a few of the many questions asked. Also family pictures where they stand out like a sore thumb and knowing this is their adopted family, not their blood relatives. The feeling of belonging is often not there. They are different and although loved are sometimes lonely in the crowd.
In the case of a family adopting a child of the same race, that child can easily blend in to the family. Few, without being told, would know that child is adopted. With a cross-racial adoption, this is clear to all and, thus, inevitably leads to teasing at school and constant questions throughout life, such as "So, you were adopted?". This can be difficult on a child, and even an adult.
It is hard enough being a child and a teenager in this time. I think kids are bullied at school and other social situations. They grow up not fitting
into any one race that they can relate to. Its just not fair to the kids.
Most children available for adoption are of minority ethnic groups in Europe and America. Most children available for adoption around the world are from poor Third World nations. The ability to adopt requires the social support structure to take in an unrelated child and the resources to support them. If their family had those resources, the child wouldn't be in need of a home, they would be with kin. If their home nation had the social support structure, they wouldn't be available for adoption, they would have been adopted within their own community. If these children could be taken in by "their own" family or community, they would be. The only opportunity, then, for them to have a home is for them to be adopted across the racial divide or around the world. And waiting 20 years for their own society to have the social capital to have more families with the means to adopt and the smaller family size to seek adoptive children to fill their homes makes the point moot; that wait costs the child their childhood. Give that child a home now. Telling them to wait in an orphanage because a black or brown family isn't available while a white family is willing to take them isn't in their best interest because of a misplaced value on "culture" they can explore when they grow up is not a good idea - it's child abuse.
Just buried a pal who was adopted by a white family, he felt ALIENATED, and drank himself to death, need i say more ? Think about it, it takes very special people to get this right, and the results are rarely checked, for some reason there is no interest in the outcome, this should tell you all you need to know
Okay, so I'm adopted from China from the age of 1, since I was so young, I can't remember anything of it. I was adopted by a white family in west europe. When I was less than 11 years old, I could do anything without shame but later, that dramatically changed. I started to feel ashamed of being adopted and asian. The other people were white, I was asian. The chinese jokes and stereotypes affected me a little too... Their small eyes and their way to talk! Their chopsticks! Their genetic inteligence... They didn't notice that their jokes affected me and I was ashamed and I was good at holding it back, looking as if it was just a little joke.
I wanted to be european SO badly! I was ashamed as hell of being asian. In trains, when I sat down next to a person, I'd feel shame and wondered if they thought I was some poor asian girl from the third world stealing. I never spoke to reject attention but I wanted to speak the language to show people that I spoke it fluently and I'm a citizen. I know nothing of China except the information on TV. I'm 100% inergrated and atheist. I strictly follow the norms and rules and everything.
I'm litterally ASHAMED of being chinese in a white country with no connection to China but having those terrible genes... I wish I was white like most people in my society. MY PARENT KNEW NOTHING! I never told them, they're so optimistic and thinks I'm living a great life and that I should be PROUD for being asian! HAHAHA MY ASS!!! What should I be proud of? Being left by my biological mother as an infant left to die if the adoption center didn't find me and take me in? Proud of being different and being ashamed of my genetics and being adopted?? To make it worse, my parents got FREAKING divorced when I was four and they hated eachother and fought, some periods, I'd cry myself to sleep...
BEING ADOPTED(as another race) INTO A WHITE FAMILY IS THE WORST DECISION EVER!!
Trust me, I'm 14 so some of the past tenses might be changed to the presents...
As a transracial adoptee myself from an asian country, I strongly feel that growing up in a white family truly impacted the way I felt around people. I have come to realized that I am very self conscious about what race of people I am around. And also it messes up your own culture and identity dramatically. For me, when I see another asian I am very nervous and almost scared to talk to them, because I sub consciously know that somehow I am not like them, even though I look just like them. I can go on a whole list of detailed problems with these type of adoptions, but I just want to get my support out there for other who want to know from an adoptees point of view. Being trans racially adopted is very hard to live with. Almost everyday I struggle with it. I also know another family that has a transracialy child who is african amercan adopted girl and they also adopted a white american boy. From the stories that I hear from the mother of these two children, there are more social and mental problems for the african american girl than the white boy.
Race and culture are still highly charged topics of interest and debate.
I think any caucasian family who actively is interested in adopting a non-white child should first examine why it is that they feel attracted to this position. Fetishisizing "exotic" children starts an adoption off on the wrong foot. As is the idea of "saving" a poor child of color. An adoption should come about the same way a healthy preganancy does, with the intention of creating loving family, not a social adornment or story.
Caucasian families must also poses an indepth awareness of their inherent privilege and take a critical look at their family, friends, neighbours, and community. Will the child look out of place in your family or community? Most people (people of color included) have subtle prejudices they might not have even noticed. Do you see see a black mother alone with her child and assume she is a single mom? Do you see a latin man and assume he is not educated? Do you see an obese person and assume they are lazy? It takes a lot of work to unearth our natural beliefs and inclinations and even more work to begin challenging them. Even if you begin this process yourself, are you aware of the beliefs or positions of your close friends, colleagues, of relatives?
If you are not the type of person who is naturally inclined to have these conversations, you are likely not the kind of family who will have a successful crosscultural adoption.
I was adopted when I was about 8 years old. My birth dad is from Mexico. We lived there for a little while. I was taken from him and put in a orphanage. Later I was adopted by two white people. The Hispanic community is very strong but I was never a part of it. I was completely white washed by my new name. I had a Mexican name but they changed it to something white. Most hispanics are taught Spanish from the home, but I didn't get that. My extended family treats me different. My parents talk bad about Mexicans a lot. I always think what I would be like if I was never adopted. I am thankful for the adoption, my life is better because of it but I wish my family would have been Hispanic not white. I have no culture and this makes me very sad.
Someone who is obviously adopted wears their personal trauma as a badge. Everyone who looks at that child judges them on some level as "poor thing" or "how lucky" - usually the latter. They are not free to develop their own feelings as the brainwashing will take place even more frequently than with a same-race adoptee. All adoptees feel on a deep level that they don't "fit in". For cross-racial adoptees, it's just that much clearer.
As long as a child feels loved and does not feel left out the child generally adapts to the environment. A child may have questions but a loving parent will answer the question and be there to support the child's decision. Love is all a child needs from anyone biological parent or not.
I am an Asian girl with a white mother. We have a great relationship, she's my best friend. The point of race doesn't matter at all. The only thing that matters is what would matter normally and that's how good of a parent the adopted parent is. That is all. Race should have nothing to do with that, if the child is loved, and treated like family then I don't even know what race would even be thought of as a problem. DNA doesn't make a family, love does!
Look, race is hard. It's complicated. There are a million things to consider as a white family adopting a black or brown baby. But love and an open mind and the ability to consider race with an open heart can make a happy family. You have to be ready for difficult conversations and difficult interactions. You have to understand that sometimes you WONT understand. But you can still raise a happy, complete human. Of any color.
I don't feel like it has negative effects, but to each his own though. No one lives a perfect life to begin with, no one knows where they will end up either. I was adopted at 10 weeks from Guatemala into a caucasian family that had adopted before from the same country. I know that I can't speak for my brother, but I feel like we had a great experience growing up (minus seeing our grandmother being sick with COPD). My parents loved me and would do anything for me or my brother. I have never felt alienated from any of my relatives either, they have all showed me nothing but love and kindness. Sure when I was younger I would be asked why I didn't look like my parents and yes it was kind of awkward, but I always replied in the same way that "I was adopted." I though it was normal and that everyone knew about adoption. I can say that sure I have had ups and downs in my 19 years of life, but who doesn't. Why try to lead your problems back to the idea of being adopted. Transference of blame doesn't solve anything. Now that I am working now I do get annoyed with people asking me what race I am. I will tell them that I am American, but of course they want to dig deeper so I straight up tell them. Then I'm asked if I speak spanish, and I don't so the answer is no. Just because I am from a spanish speaking country doesn't make me able to speak it.
I have to say that some of these people on the no side shouldn't have a say since they seem to not have experience with being or having an adoptive child. That or knowing anyone with an adoptive child. How much do they actually know about the subject anyways. In my opinion outcomes of adoption can go in many ways, weather it be negative or positive. It's all about how the adopted child and adoptive family communicate and respond to each others feelings. I'm not saying I know about other adoptive families because I don't. I'm just stating my opinion of course. There is always going to someone that has a negative experience, but that can't be helped sometimes.
My father is African American and my mother is caucasian. I realize being biracial is not the same as being adopted by a family of a different ethnicity but I believe we may struggle with the same types of discrimination. As a child I didn't think much of what people looked like, black, white, asian, hispanic, it was all the same to me. But as I grew older and people started asking questions such as, "What are you?" it became apparent to me that there were not many other kids like me. Despite being more racially aware as I grew up I was never ashamed of my mixed race. My parents have always strongly encouraged learning more about my ethnicity and the history of people on both sides. Even when questioned about my race I never felt insulted or ashamed; people are just curious and I understand that. I have never truly felt like I couldn't hang out with a certain group of people because I was different. Of course at some point you bump into people who think it is wrong to "mixed breed" but who are they to make me feel ashamed and self- conscious about who I am. Also growing up in a Christian home as helped with any uncertainty I have with myself. Who better to lean on that the man who created you perfectly himself. Have it be said I am only 15 and God willing have many more years of life still to live so obviously I haven't encountered every negative experience yet. And yes, of course there are going to be trials and tribulations growing up in a place where you are unique from other but their will be times of ease as well. I try to never dwell on the negatives because in my eyes I have the best of both worlds.
I mean come on. A child needs a home regardless whether the parents are black or white, they need homes. This question honestly seems really silly. I highly doubt race will have a different affect. All a child really needs is love and compassion, and they will grow. At least that is my ideology.
Your helping the child and giving him/her a new life, any child can get bullied, an just because it wouldn't be your race doesn't mean you shouldn't have a heart and still help, you'll never really be able to stop bullying in high schools but that's just kids, just because the adopted child could maybe not be your race, doesn't mean to just give up, you don't no for a fact that they'll get bullied, an even if it did, being the adopted mother or father, you should stick up for him/her like they was your own child
As an adoptee from a closed (shhh isn't a secret) era, originally social workers would look for same race adopted parents, and then records would seal, and this was said to keep the secret. Adoptees have worked against this, and states have been changing policies rules, and different ethical rules have finally come forward. Leading to the importance of not having secrets, being more open with adoption regardless of race within the family. Race within the United States is being challenged in regards to those families who are already multi-racial. Having an ongoing dialog with your adopted child should be number one. As an adoptee, and professional more adoption professionals should be encouraging this. Adopting is not about secrets anymore, like they were before, and about shame in any way. Schools should talk about diversity within them, so just because a person is an adoptee is not so confusing for them at all, what are those parents saying to those kids, more open mindedness is continual needed. Are you living in a less diverse neighborhood, what are the families that will surround your adopted child. Diversity is growing in the United States, keeping oppressive attitudes and racial stereo types is becoming harder.
We are all humans and should be treated the same. When we adopt a child it doesn't matter what race or religion it has,at least it has a family who cares and will love it until it grows up to have a wonderful life. Lots of children are out there and need a family to keep them safe so they will ok when they grow older.
Just because they had different colored skin does not have any effect on how the persons parenting instinct are. Adoption agency's look further into the person and their backgrounds to make sure the child will have a good home. If the household is a good place to grow up why would the color of their parent have any effect on them!