I have worked with adopted people for many years. My experience is that the loss of identity has a huge impact on the child as adult. The questions "where am I from", "who were my parents" etc., are a few of the many questions asked. Also family pictures where they stand out like a sore thumb and knowing this is their adopted family, not their blood relatives. The feeling of belonging is often not there. They are different and although loved are sometimes lonely in the crowd.
In the case of a family adopting a child of the same race, that child can easily blend in to the family. Few, without being told, would know that child is adopted. With a cross-racial adoption, this is clear to all and, thus, inevitably leads to teasing at school and constant questions throughout life, such as "So, you were adopted?". This can be difficult on a child, and even an adult.
It is hard enough being a child and a teenager in this time. I think kids are bullied at school and other social situations. They grow up not fitting
into any one race that they can relate to. Its just not fair to the kids.
Most children available for adoption are of minority ethnic groups in Europe and America. Most children available for adoption around the world are from poor Third World nations. The ability to adopt requires the social support structure to take in an unrelated child and the resources to support them. If their family had those resources, the child wouldn't be in need of a home, they would be with kin. If their home nation had the social support structure, they wouldn't be available for adoption, they would have been adopted within their own community. If these children could be taken in by "their own" family or community, they would be. The only opportunity, then, for them to have a home is for them to be adopted across the racial divide or around the world. And waiting 20 years for their own society to have the social capital to have more families with the means to adopt and the smaller family size to seek adoptive children to fill their homes makes the point moot; that wait costs the child their childhood. Give that child a home now. Telling them to wait in an orphanage because a black or brown family isn't available while a white family is willing to take them isn't in their best interest because of a misplaced value on "culture" they can explore when they grow up is not a good idea - it's child abuse.
I was adopted when I was about 8 years old. My birth dad is from Mexico. We lived there for a little while. I was taken from him and put in a orphanage. Later I was adopted by two white people. The Hispanic community is very strong but I was never a part of it. I was completely white washed by my new name. I had a Mexican name but they changed it to something white. Most hispanics are taught Spanish from the home, but I didn't get that. My extended family treats me different. My parents talk bad about Mexicans a lot. I always think what I would be like if I was never adopted. I am thankful for the adoption, my life is better because of it but I wish my family would have been Hispanic not white. I have no culture and this makes me very sad.
Just buried a pal who was adopted by a white family, he felt ALIENATED, and drank himself to death, need i say more ? Think about it, it takes very special people to get this right, and the results are rarely checked, for some reason there is no interest in the outcome, this should tell you all you need to know
Okay, so I'm adopted from China from the age of 1, since I was so young, I can't remember anything of it. I was adopted by a white family in west europe. When I was less than 11 years old, I could do anything without shame but later, that dramatically changed. I started to feel ashamed of being adopted and asian. The other people were white, I was asian. The chinese jokes and stereotypes affected me a little too... Their small eyes and their way to talk! Their chopsticks! Their genetic inteligence... They didn't notice that their jokes affected me and I was ashamed and I was good at holding it back, looking as if it was just a little joke.
I wanted to be european SO badly! I was ashamed as hell of being asian. In trains, when I sat down next to a person, I'd feel shame and wondered if they thought I was some poor asian girl from the third world stealing. I never spoke to reject attention but I wanted to speak the language to show people that I spoke it fluently and I'm a citizen. I know nothing of China except the information on TV. I'm 100% inergrated and atheist. I strictly follow the norms and rules and everything.
I'm litterally ASHAMED of being chinese in a white country with no connection to China but having those terrible genes... I wish I was white like most people in my society. MY PARENT KNEW NOTHING! I never told them, they're so optimistic and thinks I'm living a great life and that I should be PROUD for being asian! HAHAHA MY ASS!!! What should I be proud of? Being left by my biological mother as an infant left to die if the adoption center didn't find me and take me in? Proud of being different and being ashamed of my genetics and being adopted?? To make it worse, my parents got FREAKING divorced when I was four and they hated eachother and fought, some periods, I'd cry myself to sleep...
BEING ADOPTED(as another race) INTO A WHITE FAMILY IS THE WORST DECISION EVER!!
Trust me, I'm 14 so some of the past tenses might be changed to the presents...
As a transracial adoptee myself from an asian country, I strongly feel that growing up in a white family truly impacted the way I felt around people. I have come to realized that I am very self conscious about what race of people I am around. And also it messes up your own culture and identity dramatically. For me, when I see another asian I am very nervous and almost scared to talk to them, because I sub consciously know that somehow I am not like them, even though I look just like them. I can go on a whole list of detailed problems with these type of adoptions, but I just want to get my support out there for other who want to know from an adoptees point of view. Being trans racially adopted is very hard to live with. Almost everyday I struggle with it. I also know another family that has a transracialy child who is african amercan adopted girl and they also adopted a white american boy. From the stories that I hear from the mother of these two children, there are more social and mental problems for the african american girl than the white boy.
For me, most of my life has been filled with hate towards myself. I have low self-esteem, I suffer from depression, I have no friends, and I have no aspirations, which I solely blame on being an adoptee. My adoptive parents are loving people. They have the best intentions, so I don't really blame them for doing what they wanted. My mom couldn't have kids of her own, so she adopted a white baby boy from California. Two years later, she adopts me. As a child, I constantly had to battle with the feelings of neglect, other kids making fun of me, and having to explain away my appearance. My older brother was always telling me that I'd never fit in with the family, that I'll never look like them. I'm 24 years old now. I'm still ashamed of myself. I still get embarrassed when I tell other people that "look like me" that I'm adopted. I feel like I've missed out on something...A part of myself that I never got to know.
I don't always sit around and think, "well if I wasn't adopted, my life would be so much better." Because I don't believe that. I feel like I have a much better life than if I were still living with my birth parents...At least that's what's my adoptive parents have told me over and over again. And I believe them. I believe that I'm better off without my birth family. Yet, I feel terrible.
I turn 18. My adoptive parents somehow get in contact with my birth parents. I develop a small relationship with my birth father, over phone calls and texting. Everything starts to fall into place for me. I finally got that connection I've been yearning for. Then I speak to my birth mother for the first and last time I've ever spoken to her...She tells me things that drive me into a pit of despair. I have 2 brothers; 1 older, 1 younger. They don't know about me.
So I'm living with this knowledge now, and every now and then, I'll just break down. I've gotten better about it all though. I've met some friends that are also adopted, and that makes it easier to cope with. I'd much rather talk to people that can actually know how I'm feeling than talk to someone assuming they know. I'm not saying every adoptee experiences a life like mine, but I've met more adoptees that feel alone and neglected than happy with their home lives. I envy the ones that have loving families and feel accepted. I will never know that feeling.
I have no history family medical cultural or otherwise. The kids in my family still ask why I am brown. My family will never know the million things I deal with on a daily basis that theyve never even encountered. And I love them too much to shatter their ignorance. I just keep my distance.
I mean come on. A child needs a home regardless whether the parents are black or white, they need homes. This question honestly seems really silly. I highly doubt race will have a different affect. All a child really needs is love and compassion, and they will grow. At least that is my ideology.
Your helping the child and giving him/her a new life, any child can get bullied, an just because it wouldn't be your race doesn't mean you shouldn't have a heart and still help, you'll never really be able to stop bullying in high schools but that's just kids, just because the adopted child could maybe not be your race, doesn't mean to just give up, you don't no for a fact that they'll get bullied, an even if it did, being the adopted mother or father, you should stick up for him/her like they was your own child
As an adoptee from a closed (shhh isn't a secret) era, originally social workers would look for same race adopted parents, and then records would seal, and this was said to keep the secret. Adoptees have worked against this, and states have been changing policies rules, and different ethical rules have finally come forward. Leading to the importance of not having secrets, being more open with adoption regardless of race within the family. Race within the United States is being challenged in regards to those families who are already multi-racial. Having an ongoing dialog with your adopted child should be number one. As an adoptee, and professional more adoption professionals should be encouraging this. Adopting is not about secrets anymore, like they were before, and about shame in any way. Schools should talk about diversity within them, so just because a person is an adoptee is not so confusing for them at all, what are those parents saying to those kids, more open mindedness is continual needed. Are you living in a less diverse neighborhood, what are the families that will surround your adopted child. Diversity is growing in the United States, keeping oppressive attitudes and racial stereo types is becoming harder.
We are all humans and should be treated the same. When we adopt a child it doesn't matter what race or religion it has,at least it has a family who cares and will love it until it grows up to have a wonderful life. Lots of children are out there and need a family to keep them safe so they will ok when they grow older.
Just because they had different colored skin does not have any effect on how the persons parenting instinct are. Adoption agency's look further into the person and their backgrounds to make sure the child will have a good home. If the household is a good place to grow up why would the color of their parent have any effect on them!
I doubt it wil have a negative effect on a child just because of difference in color.
However, if a child is adopted and is never shown her side of tradition, culture etc may have a negative effect. Or if the child is internationally adopted, then s/he have the right to learn about their homeland.
I am an adopted white girl with a Mexican mother and I love her and I love my life. I have my own room. I receive my own allowance and I'm treated like her one daughter. I love that she adopted me and I am so very very happy.
It made my world view and life much better. The race of your parents doesn't matter. This debate itself seems ridiculous to me, but of course, it must be discussed. I think people should be encouraged to adopt and the race of oneself or the child you are adopting is irrelevant.
There are children without families who dont want or can't afford to care for them and if someone comes along offering their support to take in a child in need why does race have to be the most important when finding a home for those children. People worry about the wrong things.
I am an adoptive Mother of both an African American son and a Chinese daughter. We are a very loving family and both of my children are very happy to be in our family. They were both adopted as infants so they have not known any other parents. We celebrate their Heritage and Culture in our family and they are proud of who they are. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be their Mom. My son did have a bit of a hard time with the color of his skin because he looks different than me but I have always told him to be proud of who he is and that we have a rainbow family full of color. We also spend time with families that are multicultural. I thank God each and every day that he has allowed me to be the Mom of both my beautiful children. Every child deserves a loving, caring family that provides them with the opportunity so they themselves become loving caring adults and parents.