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  • We can control ourselves.

    Yes, falling in love with someone is a choice, because we choose who we hang out with. We also have control over our emotions. A person cannot let themselves think things if they do not like where those things will lead. Love is much less emotional than people today make it out to be.

  • You train your subconscious mind who to fall in love with.

    Everyone has certain characteristics that are attractive to them, it starts from childhood, your first childhood crush usually is someone who we find physically attractive and then we might speak to him/her and then "it" happens. We've been conditioned to "fall in love" with those who are on a higher platform than us, either physically or emotionally or in the case of some women, financially.. We chose who we fall in love with because if we didnt have a choice then we'd fall in love without filtering undesirable characteristics of the other person and we'd just fall with whoever comes into our lives at a certain period of time. Love is a choice.

  • Chemicals in the brain are not all that is "love".

    There are two parts of the emotion we call "love. The first is not a choice, and that is the chemicals and neurotransmitters whose amounts increase in such a way as to create the "honeymoon phase" part of falling in love. Oxytocin is the key chemical in this concoction, the production of which creates feelings of love, but which we do not have control over.
    The second part of "love" IS a choice, and that part encompasses the non-chemical, action based love. Oxytocin can make you feel really good when holding your lover's hand. What it absolutely cannot do is make you feel good about staying late at work to make more money to buy your lover a gift. In fact, oxytocin and endorphin levels skyrocket when in the presence of one you love, and plummet when you leave them, creating a chemical depression state. The brain is absolutely screaming at you to leave work so you can be with your lover and balance out those chemicals as soon as possible. But you stay. You are capable of overriding this very compelling chemical addiction your brain has created for a greater purpose, for delayed gratification.
    Further, if love was not a choice, people could not fall out of love. If love was based purely on these chemical reactions in the brain which we have no control over, then we would find a mate a live happily ever after. But love requires effort. The brain requires us to constantly put more energy into the relationship for a smaller and smaller return of these nice-feeling neurotransmitters, and even though we become addicted to them, we are able to stop taking those actions and fail the relationship. If love was not a choice, we would not be able to choose to let it die.

  • Choice is what gives reality to our personhood

    Choice is the self recognition that "I" exist. If I exist, I can be respected and loved by myself and others. Granted our physical desires and a natural desire for companionship play a strong role in persuading us in our choices, so much so that we may feel "swept away". Yet it is still the choice we make that tell who we are. If I fail to recognize that much consequence, good and bad, is a result of my choices, I fail to recognize the personhood of myself.

  • We choose to fall in love.

    The media portrays falling in love often as if the couple was 'meant to be' and that it was not in the couples' control, but is falling in love with someone really out of that individual's hands? The majority of these romantic relationships come to happen when two unattached individuals meet each other and begin to get to know each other. This already is a matter of choice. It is true that these two individuals must be in the same geographical area to meet, but from there they have the option of speaking to each other, seeing more of each other, and thinking about each other. I list this last option of thought as an important one. It is our thoughts which often will drive our actions as well as influence our emotions. Therefore we do not simply fall into love, but we first prepare ourselves with our hopeful and positive thoughts of the other individual. We then go out of our way to spend time with them and get to know the other person. This is also a choice that we make. On the other hand, if an individual is already in a committed relationship this factor often leads him or her to avoid the formation of other possible relationships of this matter. This prevention from entering into relationships with others is a choice made to prevent 'falling in love'. For these reasons I am under the impression that falling in love is a choice we make and is not something out of our control.

  • Yes, changing your behaviors could prevent falling in love.

    Yes, falling in love with someone is a choice. In order to fall in love your heart needs to be open. You could also prevent yourself from falling in love by altering your interactions with the other person or by working to change your positive thoughts about him or her into negative thoughts.

  • Love is Our Greatest Emotion

    Love is a part of who we are as human beings. Love is at the very core of our creation. We do not get to control love or whom we love. Many times we mistake love, deny love and avoid love, but that is where the mind comes in. When we begin to communicate love or manipulate the truth of love on a mental level, we distort the truth Of love within ourselves. I read in another post that we have been "conditioned to love." I agree with that in part. I believe that we have been conditioned about love. We have been told in various ways, what love is, how love is supposed to be, who we should or should not love. The world has place identity on Love, when the fact is that Love FAITHFULLY has no other identity outside of its own existence. Love IS. It simply exists. God is Love and when we separate love from God, we downplay the importance of Love and humanity. Love cannot be controlled by any other force or emotion. Some people say that hate is the opposite of Love. That is not true. Love has no opposite. Either you Love or you do not. If you do not Love, that does not mean that you hate. Love is felt from deep within. Its out of our control. Yes, Love is a human emotion, but it is a gift from God. The world has convinced us from the womb to control what we feel. The world has manipulated us by showing us what is lovable and what is not. The world has given us many examples of what Love looks like and feels like, BUT THE WORLD IS WRONG! Love is not of this world and Love does not belong to this world. Love is from God and is given through each of to the world. Just think about this, when you Love someone, nothing else matters. That is because Love is unconditional. It's when we place conditions on Love that make us feel as though we control Love, but the fact is, we are not controlling Love, we are just directing our minds to think that we are. If you have to train your mind to LOVE or not to Love you are NOT dealing with LOVE, you are dealing with something else, and that something else is Evil. I am writing because we all have so much love in us to give, but we withhold it because we think we need a prompt or instruction, or some sort of handbook or rules to Love or be loved or to be in love. If we stopped trying to control love as much as we do, we would be able to Love more easily, deeply, truly and unconditionally. I end with this, many people say, "let go and let God." I agree, but I want to say in addition to that, let go and let Love.

  • Experience in Real Love...

    When you can't stop thinking about him or her and when you CARE, put their interest more important then yours and feel that you can't live without him or her you know it's love... Love is different then lust.... You will think that he or she is perfect! It just happens...

  • Experience in Real Love...

    When you can't stop thinking about him or her and when you CARE, put their interest more important then yours and feel that you can't live without him or her you know it's love... Love is different then lust.... You will think that he or she is perfect! It just happens...

  • Love just happens and you'll know when it's real.

    I used to think love was a choice based on feelings alone. But now its more than that. God knows all and yes we may have feelings towards the opposite gender or sex. But as humans God made us to know in our heart if were be happy with a person regardless of their imperfections. We don't choose to fall in love, one day it just happens and the person it happens towards is the one you change for. God is in control and who we fall for He will allow to go through or stop when He knows in the end if we will be truly happy or not. God is that kind of romantic. I learned now from God that true romance is not about me controlling a person to be or do what I want, but me making the necessary adjustments to be with the one(in my case, the girl) I love and who makes me happy no matter her imperfections as truth be told, were all perfectly imperfect. Love just happens and when it does you'll just know. Its not the fantasy of feelings but the reality of knowing in your heart that you love a person and choices are made from that for them. After all true love is selfless and always wanting the other to be happy than yourself.

  • Falling in love isn't a choice, but staying in love is.

    If we were to subconsciously fall in love, then you don't really get much of a choice. I'll admit that there are many ways to prevent yourself from falling further, but the truth is, you've already started falling. Staying in love with someone, on the other hand, is an active choice. There will be days when you simply just don't feel like you love your partner. And you're going to have to actively choose to love him/her. Thus, staying in love is a choice we make.

  • Not that I'm being Freudian ...

    But isn't it all about sex? Just kidding - I'm somewhat of a materialist. Anyhow, I don't think you can control who you fall in love with. Which comes first, your affection or your choice (or acknowledgement) of it? I would say the former comes first. You don't tell yourself: "I'm going to like so and so". You just do - that fluttering feeling in your heart is not a "choice" that you made, but its a natural, subconscious instinct made for you by your body and mind.

  • How can you prevent it?

    Falling in and out of love is not our choice. You can't just all of a sudden fall in and out of love at will. Yes, your mind can change, but you don't let that happen, it just happens. If we could control ourselves to the point where we could decide if we loved someone or not, then why don't we stop ourselves from yelling when were angry? Or crying when were sad? Love is an emotion, and humans can't suppress true emotion. If we could then why aren't we lifeless drones completing menial tasks with no feeling? Love happens to you, you don't happen to love.

  • If love is a choice then why do we have such a hard time letting go?

    If you could choose who you fell in love with then we'd save ourselves a lot of pain. Falling in or out of love with people is something that just happens, we dont' expect it or see it coming, it just happens. Have you never fallen in love with somebody and could explain why? It's not as "Why do you love me?" "Because you're kind, smart, pretty" etc. , you just do, you can't explain why you love somebody because you just love them, if that makes sense. I think anybody to have said yes to this has a very different idea of love.

  • No, it's out of our hands.

    I am very sure that falling in love with someone is something we have no control over. I don't believe we can will it to happen, and once it happens, I don't think we can stop it. Love may start as a friendship or a physical attraction and all of a sudden one day you realize you are in love.

  • Not In Some Cases

    I do not believe falling in love with someone is a choice. I think we sometimes fall in love with people without making a choice to do so. We still have choices to make, like rather or not we will stay with that person, but that doesn't mean that the love itself was a choice.


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