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Is it wrong to have a crush on some other person while you are already dating?

Asked by: mystere
  • Yes. Apparently very wrong

    If a person, say some girl, who is apparently dating a guy and claims to be in love with him, she, in noway, will be interested in any other guy. We accept the love we think we deserve. Ergo, she dates the guy she thinks she deserves. However if her attention shifts from him to some other guy, then well, she really doesn't love her guy enough, besides, her guy would be really hurt if he ever came to know about it. In every way, this is surely wrong.

  • Yes it totally is!

    Its most definetly wrong to have feelings for someone outside of a relationship! To have that lust for someone is the same as you dating them whilst you are currently with someone. You may not be physically cheating, but youd be doing so in your heart! So if you catch yourself doing so, stop it immediately.

  • If you're with someone you should be with that person... Mentally and physically.

    If you are dating someone you should give yourself to that person completely otherwise you aren't serious about it, and if you aren't serious about being with someone you shouldn't be with anyone. If you're with someone you should be with that person. If you have a crush on someone else then mentally you aren't 100% with that person you're with someone else too and that's wrong.

  • It's probably not healthy.

    My thinking is that it's not healthy. Once you're dating someone it's unhealthy to dwell on others that you're not in a romantic relationship with. I recommend trying your best to switch off the infatuation. Sometimes you just have to tell your head "no"; I'm already in a relationship and it would be stupid to ruin it over something as superficial and poorly thought out as this!

  • It's Not Right For The Other Person.

    How do you think the other person would feel? Believe it or not, people around the dating age can become easily depressed. Many people if they had this happen to them would become very sad, and likely start doing things that they should not. As a High Schooler, I know this. Many people in my school have became depressed from things like cheating, and have decided to cut themselves, starve themselves, etc. If you believe otherwise them you have no true heart.

  • After you are just dating

    You're not forced to be committed to him/her yet let alone sure if you actually love the person so in my opinion, it should be alright. I mean that's why you date people. If people just went out and married the first person they like, the world would have a huge problem with messed up marriages.

  • It's just feelings

    A feeling isn't right or wrong. Promoting views that feelings can be right or wrong encourages people to falsify their own feelings and become distant from themselves. In frustration they insist on labeling themselves "happy" or in this case "not having a crush" declare victory in error and become disconnected with how they really feel. That isn't good.

  • No It's not wrong, however......

    It isn't wrong to have feelings for somebody else while you're in another relationship. You simply cannot control who you like and dislike in that way. It is wrong, however, to try and pursue a relationship with that person or anything romantic/intimate while still maintaining said relationship. Cheating is wrong. If you no longer want to be with somebody, or if you want to be with somebody else, you should break up with them before messing around with other other people.

  • Progress Over Dictates

    Ultimately, this is a matter of tradition versus progress. Progress wins in this case because circumstances involving relationships are very very complicated. You may have feelings for someone else that are returned, but neither of you are willing to break the ties you are in. The morality of acting on your feelings depends on the person you are dating, and on you, whether either of you would be comfortable with something more open.

  • Its not wrong, its just awkward....

    Nobody knows how the heart works and why it works the way it does, and since we have absolutely no control over who we are attracted to, its therefore not necessarily 'wrong' to have a crush on someone when you are dating somebody else.... It just puts you in a tough spot.

  • It depends what you mean

    If you just mean that you are attracted to someone else then why not as we are all human and we will find other people attractive its completely normal. If however you are cheating on an emotional level with this other person (i.E. Secret messages/e-mails/coffee dates) then you should be reanalyzing your relationship. Having a crush is one thing (hell my mum has one on George Clooney) but acting on it is a completely different situation.

  • No, but there are still responsibilities to attend to.

    The question and its wording seem to indicate that a teenager is asking, so I ask that everyone please forgive me if I sound a little bit fatherly here.

    The realm of ethics encompasses only those things we can help, and we cannot help falling in love (or lust) with someone new. That means the crush itself is not wrong. Ethics should govern your response to the feelings for the third party. Moreover, common sense and a clear sense of what you want should be included. Honest communication really cover most of your ethical responsibilities here, including the responsibilities you have to yourself.


    The fact that you are dating means you are still exploring relationships, figuring out what you want, what you are willing to give, and figuring out how to do that gracefully, kindly, and lovingly. Dating a person is nothing like being married; you are free to change the rules or leave the relationship at any point. Just tell the person you are dating IN ADVANCE that you want to enjoy the company of someone else, also (or instead.)

    Be honest, forthright, and gentle when you tell the person you are currently dating. You do not need to name names or go into excruciating detail about your feelings, but you do have the responsibility to set the parameters of your relationship with the person you are dating, and how much you are truthfully willing to give, what you will or will not commit to, and what your expectations and demands are.

    Do not lose track of the fact that dating is supposed to be FUN! If you want to date multiple people, do it without guilt or drama. You can date multiple people for the same reason you can have multiple friends of other types. Be mindful that you do not pretend your time with someone implies more than you intend, and be careful with your sexual health and activities.

    Remember that some people think different things imply monogamous commitment (for example kissing or sex.) Have the conversation about what those things mean to you BEFORE you do them, and be clear to yourself and your date about what you really want, short term and long term. If you don't want marriage, say so. If you are trying to find a life partner, say so.

    Again, be honest and have fun.

  • I don't think it's wrong per se,

    But I do believe that you shouldn't act on those feelings when you're dating someone else. Feelings are feelings, and they can be very fleeting. If you're dating someone and you start dating that other person, chances are, it'll become a big mess real fast. Not to mention, just think about it from your perspective: What if your significant other had a secret significant other behind your back? Wouldn't you be upset? I think the best thing you can do in this sort of situation is let that crush go as fast as you can. Don't think about them, don't talk to them frequently, don't spend a lot of time with them alone. If it gets out of hand, you should probably tell the person your dating, maybe even sit down with them and let them know it's been bothering you. If they're a good boy/girlfriend, they'll listen to and trust you.

  • Not Unless You Act On It

    It's perfectly normal and acceptable to find someone attractive, even if you're in a relationship with someone else. However, if you act on that attraction, you are either acting inappropriately or are at least in a grey area that is probably best to avoid. Also, depending upon who you are in a relationship with, it may be best to not even mention the crush, let alone act on it.

  • It's very normal

    Most people have many partners over the years before we typically settle down, it is perfectly human and normal. If you feel it highlights that you dont feel as strongly for your current partner as for another then i guess you got to decide if you want to be with them.
    Otherwise admire from a distance :)


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