Is Jesus being held captive by Hitler on the Moon?

Asked by: athropolus
  • He kind of is

    Yes. Project Prophet started in 1939. Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito, David Duke, and Viktor Orban all met on the rings of Saturn discussing how they would inject the sun with cardboard to fulfill their wishes of kidnapping Jesus for the sake of the Spaghetti Monster (peace be upon him). The documents were leaked on Tumblr allowing Donald Trump to gain the upper hand in the Great Chinese Election of 35893453409 which, obviously, caused Jesus to be kidnapped by Hitler with the help of the mech suit Mao Zedong created.

  • Absolutely! He's on the moon!

    Ofc Jesus is on the moon! Everyone knows the man on the moon is hitler and jesus. They bond together on the moon, but Jesus does not express his love to Hitler because he's salty that he's being held hostage on the moon and that Mary was really a virgin.

  • Of course he is!

    Of course Jesus is being held captive by Hitler on the moon.
    If is obvious that judgement day came early for Hitler and he is just waiting on the moon for all the gingers to die so he is not in any danger of his soul being stolen like the rest of us. Its the answer to everything. Ever wonder why your neighbour is so mean? Well now you know he had his soul stolen by a ginger.

  • Duh...This is obvious.

    Seeing as Hitler claimed to be doing the work of God, than obviously when he meet Jesus, for his judgment day, he took the opportunity and captured him. On the run from all the angels he secured himself on the dark-side of the moon , where he is safely between heaven and earth in the firmament. Read a book guys Hitler totally did it and that is why atheists think God doesn't exist because Jesus is held captive and he is a little tied up at the moment.

  • Yes he is

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  • It is true.

    Jesus and Hitler haven't been here in a while. Nobody has been to the moon in a while. Coincidence? I think not. There is a supposed man on the moon, correct? Think about it. *taps forehead*. If you think otherwise, you are a racist African baby hating Nazi that has been living under a rock since the moon landing.

  • Hitler is trying to save us from santa!

    Hitler is holding jesus as a hostage because santa is an anagram for satan and satan wants to rape jesus and impregnagate jesus in order to save humainty.Also to save jesus we should make a rocket fueled by orphan meat to get to the moon and then to the north pole to nuke santa!

  • Save jesus from hitler

    Well, there is a lot of evidence m8. I've flown up there myself and seen it, I tried to help but couldnt. :( we need to send the overwatch team up there to kill Hitler and save Jesus. If that fails we will just have to blow up the moon.

  • I love men

    James Russell Lowell (February 22, 1819 – August 12, 1891) was an American Romantic poet, critic, editor, and diplomat. He was the first editor of The Atlantic Monthly and was one of the Fireside Poets, a group of New England writers who wrote poetry suitable for families entertaining at their firesides, with conventional forms and meters. His first collection of poetry was published in 1841. He was involved in the movement to abolish slavery, using poetry to express his anti-slavery views. In 1848 he gained notoriety with the publication of A Fable for Critics, a book-length poem satirizing contemporary critics and poets. The same year, he published The Biglow Papers, in which he tried to emulate the true Yankee accent in the dialogue of his characters. This depiction of the dialect and his satires were an inspiration to writers like Mark Twain and H. L. Mencken. Lowell went on to publish several other poetry and essay collections, and in later years was ambassador to the Kingdom of Spain and the Court of St James's. (Full article...)

  • Yes, yes he is

    When Jesus was floating around in space, trying to get to The Heveans, Hitler found a doppleganger of himself, and the Nazis paid him to kill himself (fake Hitler is soo dumb, amirite?) After that, the Nazis made a make-shift Nazi-tower that was taller than a skyscraper in Australia, because that's where Hitler's from, and everyone would suspect Germany. After making the Nazi-Tower, the Nazis gathered around it, and started to climb it. After all of the Nazis and Hitler was on it, the Nazis made a Nazi-gymnast-pyramid and Hitler was on top. At last, the Nazi-Tower was almost tall enough to escape the Earths ozone layer. With all of the Nazis jumping, Hitler was finally able to get onto the moon. With Jesus being in the space near the moon, Hitler made a Nazi-Lasso (Nazis being stacked onto one another, then they formed a noose in the space of themselfs) and caught Jesus with the Nazi-Lasso-Noose. Now Juses was on the moon, and Hitler preformed a Satanic Ritual to combine Hitler and Jesus' soul. With this ritual, Hitler had to make sacrifices. Six million, to be exact. And since nobody else was on the moon that wasn't him or Jesus except for the Nazis, he had to use them. (Secret, Hitler killed 12M people not just 6M) That is why there sre no Nazis today. When the ritual was preformed, Hitler and Jesus' face were combined, making the man on the moon. NASA doesn't tell anyone, but when Rovers come onto the moon, they bring food and water for Jesus and Hitler. Whenever the Historical CO. Found out the fake Hitler was fake, thy didn't want to cause a riot so they told no one.

  • Of Course Not! He On Ganymede... Duh.

    Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese! So Jesus cant be there! But of course Hitler is taking him hostage just not on the moon you dork. Hitler has him at gun point on Ganymede one of the Galilean moon on Jupiter. Jesus is locked behind bars... Chocolate bars that is. That is why its called the Milky Way... IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!
    (person watching me type behind my back) "I cant believe a university gave you a degree".

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Hes not on the moon

    Yall are stupid hitler cant breath on the moon so therefore sense Jesus can do anything he would not be held captive. So that being said yall are so stupid hes on mars y do u think its red hitler spray painted it his flag color so dont be stupid like will scott

  • Hes not on the moon

    All u guys are crazy there is no way Hitler is on the moon he would not be able to breath. So that being said Jesus could breath because he could do anything so he would not be held captive. If he were it would be on mars duuu come on yall be smart dont be dumb like will scott

  • You got it all wrong

    Hitler isn't holding Jesus captive on the moon. The truth is that DONALD TRUMP is a clone created by Hawking, and the real Trump is being held captive by THE ILLUMINATI on MARS. That is why the rover got stuck; he got too close to the Illuminati base and was forced to get stuck and shut down by Genghis Khan, who of course is the half-brother of Heath Ledger (who joined the Illuminati after faking his death and now co-leads with David Bowie, who also faked his death. They traveled to Mars using skates made out of Barbie dolls.

  • No, Jesus is not being held captive by Hitler on the moon.

    Is Jesus being held captive by Hitler on the moon? No. Can Hitler survive on the moon? No. Is he dead? Yes. Would we have been able to see it? Ofc. Is this a stupid question? Absolutely . Am I just doing this to fill up the word count? Yes.

  • Hitler is dead

    No Hitler is dead, unless you mean in spirit but if we for a moment believe in Christianity then I doubt Hitler (obviously went to Hell) and Jesus (in heaven) would get close enough for Jesus to be captured. I imagine it's quite hard to get to Heaven from Hell

  • This is madness

    I read the headline for this opinion, I take a few seconds to try to figure out what went the mind of whoever came up with this, I read all the arguments, shake my head to be clear of all the nonsense, and then wonder what is life anymore. Wow

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