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Is Jesus being held captive by Hitler on the Moon?

Asked by: athropolus
  • He kind of is

    Yes. Project Prophet started in 1939. Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito, David Duke, and Viktor Orban all met on the rings of Saturn discussing how they would inject the sun with cardboard to fulfill their wishes of kidnapping Jesus for the sake of the Spaghetti Monster (peace be upon him). The documents were leaked on Tumblr allowing Donald Trump to gain the upper hand in the Great Chinese Election of 35893453409 which, obviously, caused Jesus to be kidnapped by Hitler with the help of the mech suit Mao Zedong created.

  • Absolutely! He's on the moon!

    Ofc Jesus is on the moon! Everyone knows the man on the moon is hitler and jesus. They bond together on the moon, but Jesus does not express his love to Hitler because he's salty that he's being held hostage on the moon and that Mary was really a virgin.

  • Of course he is!

    Of course Jesus is being held captive by Hitler on the moon.
    If is obvious that judgement day came early for Hitler and he is just waiting on the moon for all the gingers to die so he is not in any danger of his soul being stolen like the rest of us. Its the answer to everything. Ever wonder why your neighbour is so mean? Well now you know he had his soul stolen by a ginger.

  • Duh...This is obvious.

    Seeing as Hitler claimed to be doing the work of God, than obviously when he meet Jesus, for his judgment day, he took the opportunity and captured him. On the run from all the angels he secured himself on the dark-side of the moon , where he is safely between heaven and earth in the firmament. Read a book guys Hitler totally did it and that is why atheists think God doesn't exist because Jesus is held captive and he is a little tied up at the moment.

  • Yes he is

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  • Everyone needs Jesus, even Hitler.

    During WW2, Hitler was alive. War has 3 letters in it. Illuminati is connected to triangles. Triangles have three sides. Therefore, Hitler is a part of the illuminati. Jesus is the obvious founder of the Illuminati. They use the moon to hideout. But Jesus was crossed by Hitler. And now hitler keeps Jesus held captive on the moon.

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  • It is true.

    Jesus and Hitler haven't been here in a while. Nobody has been to the moon in a while. Coincidence? I think not. There is a supposed man on the moon, correct? Think about it. *taps forehead*. If you think otherwise, you are a racist African baby hating Nazi that has been living under a rock since the moon landing.

  • Hitler is trying to save us from santa!

    Hitler is holding jesus as a hostage because santa is an anagram for satan and satan wants to rape jesus and impregnagate jesus in order to save humainty.Also to save jesus we should make a rocket fueled by orphan meat to get to the moon and then to the north pole to nuke santa!

  • Save jesus from hitler

    Well, there is a lot of evidence m8. I've flown up there myself and seen it, I tried to help but couldnt. :( we need to send the overwatch team up there to kill Hitler and save Jesus. If that fails we will just have to blow up the moon.

  • Of Course Not! He On Ganymede... Duh.

    Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese! So Jesus cant be there! But of course Hitler is taking him hostage just not on the moon you dork. Hitler has him at gun point on Ganymede one of the Galilean moon on Jupiter. Jesus is locked behind bars... Chocolate bars that is. That is why its called the Milky Way... IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!!
    (person watching me type behind my back) "I cant believe a university gave you a degree".

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Are You Nuts?

    Jesus is in heaven right now, on the right hand of the Father.
    Hitler is dead; and unless he was born again before his death - which I don't think he did - then he is in hell right now. And he will be there for eternity.
    Three more words. :)

  • Hes not on the moon

    Yall are stupid hitler cant breath on the moon so therefore sense Jesus can do anything he would not be held captive. So that being said yall are so stupid hes on mars y do u think its red hitler spray painted it his flag color so dont be stupid like will scott

  • Hes not on the moon

    All u guys are crazy there is no way Hitler is on the moon he would not be able to breath. So that being said Jesus could breath because he could do anything so he would not be held captive. If he were it would be on mars duuu come on yall be smart dont be dumb like will scott

  • You got it all wrong

    Hitler isn't holding Jesus captive on the moon. The truth is that DONALD TRUMP is a clone created by Hawking, and the real Trump is being held captive by THE ILLUMINATI on MARS. That is why the rover got stuck; he got too close to the Illuminati base and was forced to get stuck and shut down by Genghis Khan, who of course is the half-brother of Heath Ledger (who joined the Illuminati after faking his death and now co-leads with David Bowie, who also faked his death. They traveled to Mars using skates made out of Barbie dolls.

  • No, Jesus is not being held captive by Hitler on the moon.

    Is Jesus being held captive by Hitler on the moon? No. Can Hitler survive on the moon? No. Is he dead? Yes. Would we have been able to see it? Ofc. Is this a stupid question? Absolutely . Am I just doing this to fill up the word count? Yes.

  • Hitler is dead

    No Hitler is dead, unless you mean in spirit but if we for a moment believe in Christianity then I doubt Hitler (obviously went to Hell) and Jesus (in heaven) would get close enough for Jesus to be captured. I imagine it's quite hard to get to Heaven from Hell

  • This is madness

    I read the headline for this opinion, I take a few seconds to try to figure out what went the mind of whoever came up with this, I read all the arguments, shake my head to be clear of all the nonsense, and then wonder what is life anymore. Wow


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