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  • Yes it is

    Yes it is. If you empty out a mayonnaise pot you could make a drum. I think it would break pretty easy, but hey some modern instruments break pretty easily too. Now I think on it, practically anything could be an instrument if used in an unorthodox manner.

    FILLER FILLER

  • Mayonnaise is an instrument

    Mayonnaise makes noise when you stir it, when you take it out of the jar, and spread it on some bread. Its like a swish gurgle sound, and so yes it is an instrument because it makes music; its a utensil of the musical arts. It truly a fabulous music maker.

  • Just Because it is

    It is simply because this is the best question i've ever seen on this website.

    Also if handled correctly im sure it could be. Maybe frozen into a drum shape? As a mould of any other instruments? It might lubricate the throat for singing? Its an excellent question and idea.

  • Of course it is!

    If you say no (which clearly, no one has), then you've never even tried to play it. Have you ever heard the luxurious sounds that come from playing the mayonnaise? The soft gurgling of the thick substance slushing against the walls of the jar it is encased in is absolutely astounding. Never underestimate the beauty of the mayonnaise.

  • It's an instrument

    You can actually play anything, as long as it makes noise, no joke. You could play a chair if you wanted as long as it makes some kind of noise. Mayonnaise could be an instrument because you could make it bubble or do whatever you want! So yes, mayonnaise is really an instrument.

  • Mayonnaise is superior to violins

    If violins are considered instruments despite the pain they bring to the listeners' ears, along with their annoying squeaking sounds that cause the rest of world's ears to bleed. Even mayonnaise can make noise that sounds better than the violin and if the violin is the instrument, why isn't mayonnaise?

  • It can be used for Good

    I think mayonnaise can be used as an instrument of warfare. But, I guess it is possible to be used as a musical instrument. Maybe you just have to taste it first to find out its tune. Or you could use the mayonnaise jar as a drum to beat on.

  • Well of course it is, duh!

    If the mayonnaise wasn't an instrument than how would one be expected to play the tuba, for example? They work on similar principles! I've personally played the mayonnaise for many years and can tell you that no orchestra or band would be complete without it. Where would the famous (or infamous) Beethoven's fifth be without the mayonnaise? How about the mayonnaise solos on Sting's new album? Would Debussy even be known today without his amazing writing for the mayonnaise? Even crappy new pop artists recognize the importance and expressive capabilities of the mayonnaise! If anything, we must increase our appreciation of the mayonnaise and continue to expose the younger generations to the beauty of the mayonnaise. I also hear that some experimental new musicians have been using the electric-mayonnaise which will probably help this amazing instrument to be more accessible to appreciation by younger audiences. In fact, if your children begin to gain more interest in music and ask for piano or guitar lessons, suggest to them the mayonnaise instead. Not only is it the most versatile and expressive of instruments, there is also less of a financial investment in case your children later decide to not continue in pursuit of their musical endeavors. You could even begin by making comments when it appears in their favorite songs, like,"Ah, the mayonnaise....Have you ever heard a more beautiful sound?" or "I wish I could play the mayonnaise like that. If there was ever a regret I have in my life, it is that I didn't continue/start mayonnaise lessons!" Sure there will be some squeeks and pops at first, but jJust imagine the joy you'll experience later as your children become better and better and your entire house is eventually filled with the beautiful sound of the mayonnaise!

  • Of course Mayonnaise is an instrument.

    I've heard it many a time at my local theater. It has a soft, smooth, flowing tone that is indescribable. The closest thing I can think of to the instrument of Mayonnaise is a harp. With its angelic timbre. The fact that anyone would question the musicality of such a sacred thing as mayonnaise is distressing at the minimum. I hope those of you who think that mayonnaise isn't an instrument realize your folly.

  • Mayonnaise is a instrument of warfare

    The definition of an instrument isin·stru·ment
    ˈinstrəmənt
    noun
    1.
    A tool or implement, especially one for delicate or scientific work.
    "a surgical instrument"
    I believe that while the mayonnaise is a musical instrument(although not a good one) the mayonnaise is also an instrument of warfare. Back in Vietnam they first tested mayonnaise instead of mustard gas people hoped it would never be used again. Until the battle of bikini bottom, where a more lethal variant was used on a civilian populace by General Star and Commander SquarePants. When I hear people say that mayonnaise is anything less than what it is it makes me remember the screams... Then the silence. Don't act like mayonnaise is just a food, treat it like it is. It is a weapon, an instrument of warfare.

  • What the f***?

    When you use a pink talking starfish from a kid's show about two adults acting like immature children asking a question as stupid as "is mayonnaise an instrument?" while holding a legitimate instrument then you sir have officially declared yourself to be higher than the f***ing space needle. Thank you.

  • Logic has died.

    Mayonnaise is not an instrument. The only true instrument is our glorious lord Miracle Whip. He plays the melodic tunes that my soft, supple, ears want to hear. Mayonnaise is an imposter. Who cares if Miracle Whip is immatation mayonnaise? Mayonnaise copied Miracle Whip's awesomeness. All hail Miracle Whip! May he rule forever!!!

  • No Patrick, Mayonnaise isnt an instrument......

    HORSE RADISH ISNT AN INSTRUMENT EITHER.....

    Well now that the joke is over, what am I supposed to do with the rest of the 30 words that im still required to type out? Oh wait now im down to fifteen. Holy crap now I only need six more!! That was easier then I thought

  • No mayonnaise is not an instrument!

    More than half of the people in this argument says that mayonnaise is an instrument well they are retarded. Its nothing personal its just your answer is so retarded. This shouldn't even be debatable. If Spongebob was not real people would not be debating this. Plus, if it was an instrument how come nobody has showed the world how to play it. So you people saying yes are dummies.

  • Are you kidding me?

    Who in their right mind would actually debate mayonnaise being an instrument? I hear a lot of you morons saying that the jar can be used as a drum, which I'll agree to; but the last time I checked, Patrick didn't ask Squidward if A MAYONNAISE JAR was an instrument, to which I'm sure Squidward would've said yes to. So for the 81% of you people who are actually sitting back your asses and arguing over something that shouldn't even be argued over in the first place because it's so stupid, just quit now. If you all would just apply some freakin common sense into your lives, you would know that something that we put on sandwiches cannot be played in a band/orchestra. I swear it's debates like these that make people believe that all Americans are stupid and lazy

  • Doesn't seem right

    Why would mayonnaise be used as an instrument. Maybe and mayonnaise jar could be used as a instrument. The jar could be used as a drum but we are talking about mayonnaise itself. All you can do is flop it around, who would want to do that. I say the Mayonnaise is not an instrument.

  • No it is not

    The peanut tar tar sauce is an incredible refinement to common mayonnaise that makes it create beautiful music. So, mayonnaise is an awful music making tool(akin to violin in terms of it's squeaking and it's strange inclination to spontaneous combustion.) I suppose that in the right hands such as the gifted...Mitten things...Of maestro patrick, the mayonnaise can generate a noise that is pleasing.

  • Omg toats a real instrummentz

    Obvously rel becez hw els wold it be in so many orhestras. I lov e mayonaiz it helps me sleep in my daek and lonely bed sumtimex kl kl kl klk kl kl kl kl kl kl kl klk kll kl lkl kl kl kl lkklk lklkl klkll klkllkl lk

  • Mayonnaise is too epic

    One does not simply call mayonnaise an instrument. Mayonnaise is MORE than an instrument. It is a god, just like our glorious miracle whip. Mayonnaise rules the world alongside lord miracle whip. It used to be an instrument, but it is now a god. That is all. PS, everyone on this website is high

  • No, mayonaise is not an instrument.

    Horse radish isn't an instrument either.








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PatriotPerson says2013-11-19T14:17:39.117
HEY! Not cool! This is my thing!
DatAzian says2013-11-19T15:55:25.430
You're an ass