I wouldn't marry someone if I had never had a conversation with them, learned about their likes and dislikes, their tastes and opinions. I might be marrying someone who's PERSONALITY clashes with mine.
I wouldn't marry someone I've never seen before, even if I had talked to them extensively, because they might not be PHYSICALLY compatible with me.
I wouldn't marry someone who couldn't empathize or sympathize with me, because they wouldn't be EMOTIONALLY compatible with me.
I wouldn't marry someone I hadn't spent a little time living with, because they might not be compatible with the way I live at HOME.
So I would never marry someone I hadn't had sex with, because as anyone who's had sex knows, there's a HUGE factor that sex plays on a relationship, and if we're not compatible, we've made a terrible mistake by not becoming familiar with a huge part of our lives we're sharing.
I wouldn't be upset or angry with someone if they didn't want to have sex with me, it'd just put a clear line on how far our relationship is going.
If you don't want to have sex until marriage, I fully support your decision, as long as it's yours, but the commitment I have to make when I marry someone? I couldn't leave such a large part of life up to the odds.
I will start off by saying that I dislike the wording of this question as it comes off as asking two questions at the same time. I believe sex is an act that can be enjoyed without commitment. After all, when practiced safely, sex is a harmless act that can bring much enjoyment to both parties. The only arguments I can see disputing sex before marriage are religious objections and fear of STDs. STDs are a genuine concern, but just like all things, can be weighed against the pros of sex. Religious objectors, on the other hand, will continue to object to sex before marriage because they irrationally fear punishment.
The term wife and woman in Hebrew are the same. "Marriage" was a biological imperative to raise kids sired during passionate sexual encounters (also biological imperatives).
The Christian version of Marriage was invented later on for the purpose of faith propagation and control of the civilian population.
There is nothing scientific about marriage. It's entirely an ancient tradition adopted by secular governments and religious institutions.
Sex outside of marriage is just the same as sex within a marriage. If you don't want a baby yet, be smart about it. If you do want a baby, don't worry about it.
Marriage, for many people, is not something that they wish to pursue. For myself, marriage is an oppressive and debilitating institution which completely goes against my belief that humans in general are not naturally monogamous. Does this mean that my ability to participate in sex is a stupid thing to do? Please, you can't say that.
Which came first? Well, obviously the finger. Marriage is a construct of civilization and subsequent social behavior. It is definitely not a need precondition for those mature and/or intellectual enough to handle it outside of a government/religious control or recognition. Those that say "no" usually are either basing their ideals from religious dogma, or quote the STD and/or pregnancy issue that, ultimately has nothing to do with/without the issue of marriage, but ultimately the individual.
(6) “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’
(7) ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
(8) and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
(9) Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Documented problems with having sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman:
1) STDs from Multiple Sex Partners
2) Unwanted Pregnancies
3) Abortions that result from Unwanted Pregnancies
4) Financial Poverty from having a child before you are ready to raise one
5) For men: Scorned women who don't appreciate being used for sex and then you won't commit to them
6) Psychotic Scorned Women from men that use them for sex: "Fatal Attraction Effect"...
7) For gay men: STDS and Predatory Relationships and living beyond 50
8) For adulterers: Jealous husbands who will do you in if you sleep with their wives
9) For Perverts: having to register as a sex offender
10) For everyone: if you are unfaithful to your wife then the problem of divorce
11) For pornography looking individuals: viewing members of the opposite sex as objects rather than your fellow human beings
1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV 2011) - Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
It should be something you do with the person you marry, or the person you commit to. Sex is a good thing, but we shouldn't abuse it and use it like something to go and have fun with. I don't have any specific arguments. These are just my opinions on the matter.
I believe actual sex (penetration) is only for marriage, so I am saving myself for that. But I believe it's okay to do other things that aren't actually sex. It still is a sin yes, it is lust and I feel bad for it however, I believe it is better to do that before marriage than sex.
If every human only had sex within marriage three major things would occur:
1. Sexually Transmitted Diseases would greatly decrease.
2. Complaints of sexual satisfaction, intimacy, and problems arising from insecurities relating to previous problems would greatly decrease.
3. The modern hook-up culture would die and emphasis on building long-term relationships would bud creating for a stronger sense of community and unity in the world.
Simply put it is not scientifically wise to undergo, even if just considering health, sex outside of marriage since cohabitation is a precursor for some reason in the failure of marriages. ( http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr064.pdf ) also it seems that the length of these cohabitation is directly linked to how educated you are and tend to be shorter, this is in conjunction with marital success being higher when you're educated.