Sometimes, it seems as if it's the only thing some people understand. Try being nice. Nothing. Get in their face with some attitude. Nothing. Then you bring out the fists, which are all you really need. Come out a bit banged up. Might get some cuts, scrapes, and bruises. And yet, when you win the fight, the other person finally gets what your point is. This is why some people seem to understand nothing else.
Perhaps the reason we have so much violence in our society is because it is a very effective way of getting one's point across. It has become socially unacceptable, but we still do spank children when they have stretched the limits of our ability to cope any other way with bad behavior. When someone does a violent act, like the killer at Sandy Hook Elementary School, we always want to know "why?". We seem frustrated when we don't have an answer to that question, as if he had an argument that we missed along the way. He got his point across, whatever it was.
In order to have effective communication, one party should understand the other party's side and where they are coming from. There should be well structured, clear and concise forms of documentation. Speakers who are very good in communicating should be used and neutral grounds should be used to communicate. Each party should not be subject to bias and should keep an open mind. In short, good communication is the way.
Violence is not the way to get your point across because it is not a solution, it is a reaction. Violence also begets more violence, and escalation of violence is what has led to many of the wars which have been fought. Participants in situations that have potential to turn violent need to step back and apply rational thought.
This is why every war in history has been fought. When one is faced with violence the only way to respond is with violence. If you want to get your point across then you should have a civil conversation with whom ever you are trying to get you point across to.