Kids today are seldom told 'no' and aren't being taught how to deal with not getting what they want because it supposedly results in 'low self esteem'. Well, it's a parents job to prepare kids for such things in life. Parents need to stop worrying about hurting their kids feelings and esteem and show them that some behaviours are unacceptable in society, and leave it there. As long as it doesn't become abuse, kids need more discipline or else they're going to keep being little brats for the rest of their lives.
These days kids aren't punished enough and have such luxuries as video, computer/video games, and other consoles which take them away from the reality of life circumstances. Some are spoiled because they are not punished well enough and don't learn their lesson. They get away with things too easily!!! Old lady speaking :)
But I'd have to say yes. I see a huge lack of respect from kids these days. I don't have a study on hand to prove it, but based on sheer observation alone, I can say without a doubt that kids back in the 1890s, even in the 1990s, had so much more respect for their parents and authority figures in general. The thing is, because the parent is the first adult figure in a child's life, if they don't show that they deserve respect from their kids by not using discipline to right their disobedient wrongs, those kids aren't going to learn to respect anyone. I don't want to say using the belt and washing mouth out with soap is appropriate for all scenarios, but if your child is acting out enough to invoke that sort of punishment, then so be it. People are calling spankings a form of child abuse nowadays. What a joke! There's a lot worse that could be done to a child than a spanking for disobeying parents, and as a psych major, I have full confidence in saying that. Spankings, the belt, wooden spoon... As long as it's being used for the purpose of teaching that child to obey their parent and it's not particularly harmful, I say bring these sorts of disciplines back. Children these days are given far too much slack. It's probably a mixture of things, such as the use of internet and the rise of younger parents who are inexperienced and immature themselves, and it needs to be addressed. Otherwise the future will be run by increasingly self-centered, disrespectful, and narcissistic generations.
Parenting has changed since I was a kid and not for the better. When we were out with our parents, we followed them. If we lagged behind one we were led by the hand. When we were in a grocery store, we sat in the seat of the cart or walked behind them. If we spoke, it was quietly. If we raised a fuss at all, we got sent to the car to wait. If we went to someones house, we were on our best behavior. When we were at home, we never talked back to much less raised our voices to our parents. Were we perfect kids? No, we goofed off and did bad things on occasion but it tended to end with some kind of punishment. If it was something minor, we would be sent to sit in the corner but if it was something worse we got spanked.
After I moved out, I would some time take a weekend and stay by them to visit. One day, my brother stopped by with his new girlfriend. She had a son about 8 - 10 years old. At one point, I overheard her little son cursing at her and calling her every name in the book at the top of his voice, her reaction was as if he had called her mommy. My thought at that time was "Why isn't this kid flying across the room by now?" Later on in the day, I was outside with one of my nephews about his age. The kid decided to start talking to me like that. Bad idea. I walked up to the kid, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him into the house and told his mom what I did and why, and to keep him away from me or I would do the same or worse. Fortunately, my brother and her broke up and I never saw the brat again.
I am not saying you should beat children to the point of physical injury but enough physical punishment that they get the message. Either punish them now or society when they grow up.
Following rules is one thing the children must do. Because rules set the standard; even in games that the children play. Not all children know the rules of life. So, the parents have to teach them. On how parents discipline their children should and always will be up to the parents (or parent). And not to someone that just sit there and write about a subject. I understand that some parents take the discipline to far. That is where I myself would never go because of my raising from my parents. As a parent; we do learn from the mistakes that was made on us.
I do believe we should revert to older forms of punishment, just, of course, not as radical. I have been brought up well, and so I know disrespect or minimal if not any manners when I see it. I find it quite disgraceful. However, saying this does not mean the possibly incompetent parents should abuse their child should he/she say a word against them. I am sharing this view with my parents in saying that, as a child such as myself gets older, naturally we are going to have our own opinions. If a child does not want to do something, and he/she tries to make a real point of it without being respectful (talking back, continued yelling, swearing, continued "spewing of profanities"), then by all means punish your child just so that he/she knows not to do it again.
There are no proofs that it works, and it doesn't have any reasons to work either. It is against the rights of the children. And really... Because you have been taught like that? What do you want? Revenge? This is clearly not a good reason to do things like that.
Please try to change. I'm not saying that you are going to traumatize your children, because you are not traumatized right? Right? You are totally mentally healthy. What's the worse you could do? Hit your children? Lol
"Children are irrational." > They'll know it's bad if i beat them for it.
"They can't learn right from wrong otherwise." > "It is wrong to hit."
The "Older Methods" teach fear, NOT morality or empathy. They choose not to act a certain way in order to AVOID being punished, NOT because it is the right thing. It is better to teach these things, then reward them. How are you going to punish someone for doing something you expect them to do, without having TAUGHT them what is right and wrong and why? It is unreasonable. Reinforcement works better than punishment, whether positive or negative. (Look up the psychology terms.)
...A majority that does not include people who were given time-outs instead of beat downs. In the majority of violent adults, violence against them as children is the most common denominator. The evidence for the correlation between parental violence on the child and that child's propensity to become violent as an adult is extremely strong.
Now, that doesn't mean there should be no discipline. I think people are far too quick to assume there are ONLY two extreme options in any situation. What I'm saying is the time in which beating your children with weapons is long passed, and thankfully so.
They're told to obey and to follow and to sit down and shut up, they cannot speak against abuse. No parent should even hurt their child. Even if it may keep them more diciplined, it's still morally wrong. Could you imagine pulling of your belt and whipping your child until they sobbed? I know I'm thinking with my heart here, but children aren't allowed to speak for themselves, so we owe it to them to give them someone they can trust. If we treat them like slaves than what does that say about us?
I find it vile how some people believe that hitting your children is still acceptable. There are so many more acceptable ways of disciplining your children. By enforcing corporal punishment on your children, you are essentially either trying to make the child fear the act, but in reality, they are being taught to fear you. So if you want a decent relationship with your child, and want to stop them from hating you as they grow older, I suggest you be kinder and stop acting like you deserve to dominate them, just because they're smaller. Because you know one day you're going to be old and want someone to look after you, so don't be so surprised when they turn their backs.
You really want to make your child feel unsafe? Like they can't trust you because one wrong move and you'll lash out at them? Just think about that.
Physical punishment like that can really affect a child's growth, and definitely not in a good way. A lot of times, physical punishment like that can alter a child's thinking. Instead of using the methods of physical punishment to punish children for doing things wrong, parents should teach them not to do those things instead.
Kids often do dumb things only because there parents told them not to. Parents often have a habit of just saying "no" instead of giving the child a proper reason why they shouldn't do what they were being told not to do. Physical punishments seems only to add to the sort of grey area that the child has about why they shouldn't do what they were told not to do. The times have changed. And I know that a lot of children seem to act up these days, but it's seems to be mostly because they aren't being taught very well at home. Do I believe a child should receive a punishment for doing something wrong? Absolutely. But that would mean taking away one of their "precious" gaming systems, or their phone, or their privilege to go out with a friend that weekend. I definitely do not believe in physical punishment.
Also, I just read the story about the cursing little kid in the "Yes" section. My uncle is dating someone with a kid like that. The kid lives primarily with his dad, who seems to have a lot of money and spoils his kids. Basically, the kids are not being taught right at home. They don't need a physical punishment, they just need a punishment in general. And they need to be told that what they are doing is wrong, and be told before they make it a habit and keep doing it over and over again. It sounds like the kid you are describing made it a habit.
That sort of behaviour is no longer acceptable from parents and if they did they should be charged with abuse.
The new methods of discipline that are used these days do work very well, the problem is parents don't do any form of discipline at all.
It is unnessesary to beat or humiliate children for them to behave. Using clear logical consequences and helping children to understand the impact of the choices they make will have a better long term outcome for everyone.