• Negotiate's making a list- checking it twice! Going find out if Santa's illegal or nice-

    Please ignore my horrible lyrics- Thanks.
    List of Illegal Activities Possibly Done By Santa:
    1. Elves
    - the fact that Santa keeps hundreds of toy-crafting elves in his basement, is no doubt alarming. There are multiple theories I have about this- my biggest being that Santa has committed a genocide against the legendary and mythical race of creatures and of the ones captured, have held them against their will and forced them into labor in exchange for their life.

    2. Stalking and surveillance
    - the concept of keeping a watchful eye on children is not only border-line perversion, but also criminal when it comes to laws against surveillance and stalking.

    3. Animal cruelty
    - the amount of reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh is a considerable burden and can be considered animal cruelty. No animal, by law, should be put under these conditions.

    This concludes just a sample of the illegal activities done by Santa since his first crime, hundreds of years ago.

    Thanks everyone, and stick close to your friends and family this Christmas- Santa's coming to town... God, look after us-

  • Snata is a creep

    #1. He watches you while you sleep
    This is creepy on any level. I had a roommate in college who would watch me sleep and never did he bring me a gift

    #2. He watches when you’re awake
    Even when I shower? Or even worse, sitting at the computer for my “alone” time?

    #3. He sneaks into your house when every one is in bed
    That’s a breaking and entering! How is it OK to break the law Santa?

    #4. He has been alive for hundreds of years
    How can a man who clearly has been at serious risk of type 2 diabetes for centuries still be alive? That’s some hocus pocus S*** and I can’t trust a man like that.

    #5. He always wants you to sit on his lap
    I had an uncle who always insisted I sit on his lap as well. “Happy graduation Dalton! Now, come sit on uncle kith’s lap”. Sorry Santa, these days that's not so normal.

    #6. He lives with reindeer
    The implications I could make, however I will let your imagination run wild instead.

    #7. He has a gigantic beard
    There is no telling what has fallen into that beard of his and judging by his diet of cookies & milk it has got to smell pretty rank. I spilled milk in my car once and it smelled like vomit for weeks! Santa has been alive for how long?

    #8. He Puts his finger ever so close to his nose
    That finger is going in some day…or has. Do not shake his hand.

    #9. He lives in a secluded area away from society
    You know who else lived like this? Ted Kaczynski!

    #10. He wears the color red

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