The adopted children have the right to know who their biological parents are, and they should keep in touch with their biological parents because they need their birth parents with them during they are growing up. Some adopter parents don't want to tell the children who their birth parents really are, but I think the children should be given the option whether they want to know their birth parents are. Moreover, the adopted children have blood relationship with their real parents, they are families anyway.
A mother is lied to and told in many cases this is the best for them and the baby. How dare you guys bash on the mothers that gave life so you can have a baby out of lies.Then you cause more lies and pain cause you want to try and hide the truth about the adoption.I very much loved my son and think about him every min of the day and was told i have an open adoption with him but guess what the people you give the honor to raise your kids can lie to them and hide facts so they wont be hurt. Come on can you even be hurt as deeply as a birth mother when she has to face the fact that she cant see her sweet baby.We gave you the honor to raise our kids and keep in mind it was forced on us laws need to change to help honor the mother and kids involved nothing needs to be hidden.
The process of childbirth makes it very certain who a child's mother is. No child should be deprived of knowing who brought them into the world. It is wrong to coerce women to give away their children and there should be a law against it. Only children who are orphans should be adopted, and these children would still have a right to know who brought them into the world. If the shameful treatment of mothers would end, there would not be the pressure to take a child from the mom and sell it to a family that is headed by a male. This human invention is totally unnatural when comparing how mammal mothers raise their children.
All children have the rights to this information, if you didn't want the baby maybe you should of used birth control.
That's right there's a word of this is philosophy called consequentialism
As a mother you have responsibilities to the situation
Own it, you created the child ,
CPS and their sloppy investigations has caused many families to be broken up... this gives us a chance at reunification that CPS didn't give my family. United We Stand to end Clinton's genocide efforts against the poor. The Constitution was supposed to protect its citizens from nightmarish government abuse...I still find it hard to believe that title IV funding was more important than really helping families keep the kids safe.Let NO MAN take what GOD has put together! Evil lives within Child Protective Services..... see " Innocence Destroyed" on You-tube,Senator Scheafer and CPS plus "Lawless America" the movie..you Will find me there...I hope my babies do too. also see "Failed to death" a Denver Post series.More Kids die in the states care than in their own parents home...we don't need CPS... we need family!
Everybody has a choice on if they want to go looking for their biological parents. Some people do go and they end up having a friendship with them, but some go and it ends up ruining their lives.
When a child comes of age (17-18+) the child should be given the option of whether or not they want to know their real (biological) parents. It should be their choice. Would any of you be able to fully live happily knowing that your bio parents are out there somewhere, and you know nothing about them? Whether or not a reunion happens or goes well, every adoptee has a moral - if not legal - right to know their own biological-medical-cultural heritage, to have access to valid legal identification and to have opportunities to develop relationships with biological kin. An adopted child is often haunted by where he came from and why he was "abandoned" by his natural parents. He doesn't need anyone's permission to find these things out anymore than you or I need permission to find out who our ancestors were. Every person has a right, even a need, to know who he really is and what and who he came from so he can have closure.
When a birth mother gives a baby up for adoption, she moves on, and later on that mom may marry and have children. If the child she gave up for adoption comes back, he/she may disrupt the mother’s life. This is just one to the things that might happen to many adopted kids if they do decide to find their biological parents. I know that a lot of biological parents gave their children up for a reason and it was their choice. I can imagine a situation in which a child given to adoption might want to harm his biological parents for abandoning him. I think if a mother does not wish to be found, the child ought to respect this wish. As children, they may not understand what their biological parents might be like and their biological parents may once again reject them.
There are two sides to every argument. Neither one is right… and neither one is wrong. Everyone has their own choice on what they choose, and in this case I choose that adopted children should have access to their biological parents, if they choose when they turn 18. As I stated earlier I won’t go looking for my father and nobody objects to that. There are other kids though that will go looking for their parents… and I believe that nobody should object to that either. It’s their choice… would your parents have stopped you?
There are so many questions that run through your mind knowing you are adopted. The obvious ones like family medical history (This is annoying, as I've been to many doctors in my life), family heritage (when all the other kids in class could do projects on theirs), and then there are the questions of Nature vs. Nurture, "do I have any siblings?", "What is the REAL story of my adoption". First of all, I love my adoptive parents. They've provided a roof over my head and have loved me. I do agree that if you have loving adoptive parents, they should be included in the process of finding your biological family. However, not everyone's case is the same. You can't say that ALL adoptee's should not be able to seek their bio. Parents without PARENTS consent. And speaking of parents consent - that doesn't mean State consent. So if the person is over the legal age, whatever they do is up to them. Having your parents consent after 18 if just a courtesy. There are also some other things I would LOVE to touch on... For starters, Being adopted was NOT my decision. If I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions just like my biological parents did. If my decision was to search for my bloodline, I shouldn't be called "selfish" for it. I have the right to know about my past, my medical history and where I came from. I think it's very selfish of someone to say that it shouldn't matter to me. Who are you to say that none of that matters in MY life? And on the subject of being selfish, I'd also like to touch up on the biological parents who say they have kept their adopted child a secret, and having the child find them has "ruined their lives". How VERY selfish of you. It was your decision to put your child up for adoption, and you DID get pregnant. The first step of being responsible was the adoption, but it is up to you to own up for the things you have done in your life. If you do not tell your now-husband/wife about your past, that is your mistake. And if your past catches up to you and everyone is surprised - you can ONLY blame you. Ultimately, if you are an adult nobody should be able to tell you that you cannot go on a journey to figure out YOUR past. Even if some people say it's "an invasion of privacy". We can only work with what is legal anyway, so if you're upset that you were found on facebook, maybe you should have changed your privacy settings. I'm just saying.
Many Natural mothers from the Baby Scoop Era (1940-1975) were forced to relinquish. Mothers were housed in Maternity Homes like inmates. They were denied anesthetic at birth. Drs and nurses abused them. Many had their babies taken from them sight unseen. These babies were promoted to adopters as "womb wet." They were sold for profit. If you were born during this period, chances are your adoption was forced. Don't wait, your Birth Mother is aging. If she needs convincing, be patient. She's been through hell. Her parents may have signed away their own grandchildren.
This is my story. My mother gave me one choice. Then she dragged me to Children's Home Society. They were very kind, until they helped themselves to my baby. They paid an abortionist to kidnapped her and hide her in foster care. If I didn't sign she would remain in there until no one wanted her. If I went to authorities I would be arrested for abandonment. I signed and held my daughter for 5 minutes. I burned her image into my brain. It was the only picture I had for 37 years. I didn't keep the secret as instructed by the agency. For 37 years I buried the pain so I could survive. Then I met another Natural Mother who told me to prepare. I prayed for reunion and waited another decade. My wish came true April 12th 2014. She is now 38, I am 55. I have three amazing grandchildren. CHS didn't make it easy. Her Adoptive parent has always been against reunion, and guilt tripped my daughter for years. That woman believes her baby was put in my womb for her to raise it. What a crock! God doesn't make mistakes like that. My mother told me losing my daughter was punishment. Being single and pregnant isn't a criminal offense.
All adoptees have the right to know who their origins. Period! I have loved my daughter from the moment of conception. Sorry Adoptive parents, being forced to sign my rights away never changed that. Who must be grateful to parents for providing them with basic needs? Only an adoptee. Natural moms are no different than other moms. Anything can happen to either one. Job loss, divorce, death, addiction. It works both ways. I didn't do anything to deserve losing my baby. I didn't abuse anyone. I wasn't a criminal. I wasn't addicted. I wasn't incapable of being her Mother. All I needed was my family to temporarily help. Adoption is permanent. I will never get back what I lost. The grief is overwhelming. But I know my daughter is safe. We are family! She has my unconditional love, along with more history than she can fathom.
Adult Adoptees! Petition the courts for your info. I pray your mother signed consent to contact. We Natural Mothers are fighting to give you what is rightfully yours.
Please go easy on your Mothers. Both Adoptive and Natural. They both love you. Signed- Just another Mom!
Many kids are removed from their homes without legal proven justified cause. When kids find them, They would be surprised at the truth of the matter. Courts hide your cases to prevent them from finding out. In 75% of removals, they were not warranted, but the state was paid a hefty bundle.
I have regretted giving up my daughter every day since it happened. The Children's Aid workers badgered me into giving her up. I asked them for help with raising her as I was a single dad trying to get my high school diploma as an adult at 21 yrs old. The only options they gave me were take her back from the temp foster care. (I have no family in Canada that could help me with her), give her up for adoption and choose the family she goes to or we will take you to court and you will have no choice in the matter. I told them that I needed help with raising her, that on welfare I basically had to look after her 7 days a week on my own while at the same time going to school so that I could get a job and be able to raise her better and be able to afford babysitters etc... For when I needed a break. I didn't want to give her up or subject her to a life of poverty on Social Welfare. I wanted to give her more than that. And may be now it's different but at the time there were no supports for single dads only single mothers.
It just drives me crazy when I see kids trying to find their 'real' families. You already have a family, the family that took you in and raised you as their own. Why would you want to find the family that gave you away! Even if they gave you away to give you a better life, adoption means you give the kid away FOREVER! IT's NOT A DEAL WHERE YOU GIVE SOMEONE YOUR KID TO RAISE FOR THE FIRST 16 YEARS OF THEIR LIVES! Adopted brats need to be more appreciative. (I realize there are other circumstances, but I'm referring to the ideal family setting.)
While I can understand the desire of an adopted child (minor or adult) to want to know the bio's, I don't think this should ever happen, especially in the case where the bio's have criminal records. The bio's signed away their rights to the child for a reason, let's just leave it that way. The adopted parents (who, by the way, ARE the REAL parents) adopted that child to love and support for a lifetime. The adopted child should get down on his knees and THANK GOD who intervened on the child's behalf and provided warm, stable, loving parents, and I for one (who is an adopted parent, a REAL parent, btw) would be insulted if my kid told me he wanted to seek his bio parent. To call the bio anything more than a sperm/egg donor is a gross overstatement. Adopted kid, stop being so damn selfish for once in your life and think about someone else rather than yourself!! Think about the danger you are putting your whole REAL family in by introducing these bio donor criminals (people who DIDN'T want you btw) into everyone's lives. Leave the situation alone and THANK GOD your REAL parents love you and haven't kicked you to the curb for your selfishness!
Its the law... Just the simple truth. If I dont want to know my adopted child then I dont want to. Its my choice. If I knew that I was giving up a child only to come seek me and remind me that I left a child back then I'd be more inclined to abortion.
It's a can of worms that rarely has a happy Hollywood ending. I find kids who are adopted that want to find their biological parents rather selfish. "But I need to know!" Know what? "That your the product of rape, incest, druggies" Awesome, be proud knowing that. Hey, write that on your Facebook wall! You needed to know! And maybe if you're lucky your biological parents will seize the opportunity to mooch off your adopted parents -- all because you "needed to know." Be grateful that you were adopted and love the family you have. In most cases of adoption the grass is not greener.
Some birth parents give their children up because they feel they are too young or they can't afford a child. However, some birth parents have darker reasons. Maybe the child was a product of rape or incest. Maybe the parent hated children but was against abortion. Maybe the parent wanted to abort but was forced into adoption. Could you imagine the pain a birth parent would go through, if the child was a product of rape or incest, having to relive their trauma? Could you imagine finally finding your birth parents just to learn that they hate you, or that they never wanted you, or that they tried to abort you? Adopted children should be happy for their adoptive parents who love them and not try to open a can of worms.
Parents do not adopt their children for the biological parent to come back into their life. They made the decision that they did not want to be responsible for their upbringing. I think less people would adopt if they knew that the biological parent would come in and be a large part in their child's life.
Closed adoptions allow women to choose adoption (perhaps over abortion) without living the rest of their lives in fear that something private could be shared with the world. A recent Dear Prudence letter on slate.com shows what can happen if the adopted child finds the birth mother. In this case the child threatened to contact the rest of the family, extended family and tell them. Women are entitled to confidentiality, especially if it was promised to them. If this changes, then women should be warned of this risk before choosing adoption. I understand the children's desire, but they should not disrupt the lives of someone who was promised privacy. Maybe this isn't fair to their needs and feelings, but life isn't perfectly fair.
When a birh mother gives a baby up for adoption, she moves on, and later on that mom may marry and have children. If the child she gave up for adoption comes back, he/she may disrupt the mther's life. This happened to a friend of mine. The child she gave up for adoption showed up one day, and it caused problems, my friend is now divorced and wishes the child had never contacted her. Unless you want to see more abortiions, they need to make adoption laws so that a mother can choose never to hear from the child she gave up.
And think about women who are raped and give the baby up for adoption. That child should not be allowed to contact the mother later on, it would be too painful
In the case of medical emergency, maybe a child should be able to locate their birth parents. But, otherwise, it is the right of the parents to remain unknown to the child. As hard as it might be for someone to go through life never knowing their parents, it may actually be harder when they do find out.
A relationship with a birth parent could be a bad influence for a child because the birth parent could be addicted to drugs or alcohol, a criminal, or severely mentally unstable. The child may not consider these possibilities because they are too young. They should wait until they are adults to contact their birth parents because they will be more mature and more able to handle whatever kind of birth parents they discover. Adopted children may contact their birth parents for the wrong reasons as well. They may decide to contact their birth parents for immature reasons such as contacting them to complain about the adoptive parents because they set a 10 pm curfew for the child, which makes the child angry.