I believe that adult children should take care of their elderly parents as necessary. Parents provide for the care of their children; this should be a reciprocal relationship when the child grows to adulthood. At the very least, an adult should fund the care of their elderly parent if the parent is unable to do so.
I couldn't live with my self if I didn't take care of my mother. She took care of me & I am doing the same for her. I am all she's got & she deserves the best care possible. The best care possible can only come from a loved one. Yes I have a sister that obviously doesn't feel the same as me. It really hurts me that she doesn't care enough about me or her mother to pitch in & give me a well deserved break. I don't understand her at all.
They gave me a life and looked after me and helped me to grow up, they do anything for me and to be there for me when I need them, make sure to provide me a roof, protect me if anything bad happens to me. They give me love to live. Without them, I would not be here. I would look after them after what they have done for me. Same goes with family dog, when our family dog was getting old, we look after our family elderly dog after she has been guard us all her life, do you think we should dump her at the shelter? We receive more respect when we live together than lonely elderly parents live, they receive less respect and become target for break ins, robbery, etc. It is full of blessings to take care of our elderly parents.
Your parents cared for you when you were completely helpless and in need. It is only fitting that their adult children should make sure that their parents have what they need in their old age. In many societies there are no governmental programs to care for the elderly and in those societies children care for the elderly. In our society unfunded liabilities from programs like medicare, medicaid, and social security are crushing our government under debt. They would be much less of a problem if adult children would be willing to carry more of the financial burden in caring for their elderly parents needs. Furthermore, most people whether they believe in God or not will admit that they should honor their mother and father. Caring for the needs of your elderly parents is the bare minimum adult children could do to honor their parents. It appears to me that many people in our society care more about having a big house and big screen TV or an RV and jetskis than they care about their elderly parents needs.
Our parents, or parent figures, have been with us every step of the way. It was not easy for them in fact it was hard. Imagine all the trouble we gave them starting with our none stop crying in infancy, at the age of two when we tore up the library books, at the age of six where we annoyed the baby sitter to the point of angry tears, at the age of thirteen when you broke your brothers fingers in the van door while playing hide and seek, those stupid moments were you get frustrated and your parents back you up. Parents start out as caregivers but later become friends. Soon in their old age they need a companion someone who will look at the world in their point of view, relax, sit, and listen. Some to love and know will be with you to the end. We owe it to the ones who gave us life and helped us flourish into the people we are now today.
If it wasn't for your parents you wouldn't be alive! Thank them for being alive and giving you a life by helping them! Some people in this world have no heart. My mom has COPD and problems breathing, and I've been helping her for a good ten years now with no regrets. I'm only 33.
Think about this! if your parents hadn't looked after you in the first place where would you be right now? Would you even be in a position to continue your life? No, I didn't think so. And who do u have to thank for this? Your parents. So do the moral thing and look after them and take care over. Your parents should be like God to you. They are the most precious things in your life. Without them there is no you. Simple as.
I believe grown children should be there for their elderly parents. I don't mean financially if they can't afford it. But they should go visit them regularily and they should see they get good medical care. They should show them love and respect. They definitely should do things to add quality to the their elderly parents lives. Old people want to see their kids. They want to know their kids will protect them from abuse in nursing homes and elsewhere. They should take their parents out to dinner if they are able to go and to visit their homes. They should be kept in the family loop ever if they are old.
Parents are morally and legally obligated to care for their children when they are young. They provide shelter, food, clothes, etc. It is therefore only fair that when those children grow up and their parents become elderly, they take up some responsibility to provide a decent life for their parents. While it is not a legal obligation, it is a moral obligation.
Some elderly people are afraid of nursing homes, It would make them feel more loved if they stay at your house as long as you have the room. Its a kind and loving thing to do and all people want respect, but if you cant do it you cant change that. Anyway what would you want if you were in this position?
1. Their elderly parents should preplan their own care, as part of being a responsible adult. 2. While everyone should and can be responsible for themselves, not every parent was responsible towards their children. There are plenty of physically and emotionally abused and neglected children. Why should a child that was not financially and emotionally provided for growing up, have to be responsible for the parent when they're an adult? And isn't it more likely that those same irresponsible parents becomes the elders that gets into the most financial problems in old age?
My grandmother is my legal guardian and of course she is in old age. I'm only 17 years old and I've literally given up my childhood for my own health issues plus a little bit of hers. I am not giving up most of my adolescence for her because neither my grandfather nor my sister want to step up and help me. It's just my grandmother and I living at home and she is making my life completely miserable. I can't even leave the house without someone calling me telling me something stupid that she did. Today was the second day in a row that she has fallen.
Adults have full schedules, and more often than not have kids of their own. I think it's extremely selfish for parents of an adult to expect any kind of care from them. As someone stated below, the idea of looking after your parents is very dated. It pains me to read some of these life stories. People wasting decades of their lives in an attempt to avoid some sort of guilt. Other times it seems they're financially forced to look after parents, which is also unfair and shows that the parents just assumed they could take away years of their child's life.
Children should not be obligated to take care of their parents simply because they are your parents. Parents have to take care of their children until adulthood because parents make the choice to have children (either naturally or via adoption) and have to take responsibility for their choices. Children do not make a conscious choice to have parents therefore have no responsibility to take.
However, if the parent helps the child as an adult (eg. lets their adult child live at home and pays their bills while the child "finds himself") then the adult child makes the choice to accept help from the parents and should pay it back when the time comes.
My mother is deceased and my father cheated me out of money my mother had left specifically for myself and my brothers. He will not even bother to visit his grandkids even though he only lives 10 minutes away. He doesn't even bother to call them on birthdays, Easter or Christmas etc. Aside from that he refuses to help in any way and in all honesty this isn't new. As a kid growing up he was extremely abusive, violent and always drinking. He never bothered to have any involvement in my life. I was a national champion in my sport, yet he has never seen me perform.
He has made provision in his will for my brother's daughter yet made no provision for my children. He has given large sums of money to both my brothers enabling them to buy houses and has left me out. I know that when the time comes he will expect to live with me and my family but this will simply not be possible since my husband and I have to work twice as hard to try and get a house and security for our children and their futures. My husband's family is the same. They help his brother, sister and step-brothers but fail to be there on the rare occasions we may need some family support. The reality is if any of our so-called parents had offered even the most basic of support that would have helped us to build a solid foundation, then maybe then, we would actually have the means to help them when they are elderly. You reap what you sow!
No we should not be made to look after our parents,that's what their super /pension is for. Some parents can be down right abusive. However, if we choose to help them that would not be because of obligation that would be because we have a good relationship with them.
My father died 5 years ago leaving me with a super physically fit 83 year old with dementia. I find I am worn out with juggling a demanding job and a family and really wanted my own time as I approach 50 not a huge and frustrating responsibility. It is a myriad of appointments to achieve anything and all by me. No other relatives to call upon. I feel I need to preserve myself and desperately want to end my caring role. I am being selfish here but after bringing up a child and caring for a sick mother in law and a sick father, my mother's needs are coming when I'm worn out mentally. My mother can express strong views and I find I go along for an easy life. All free time seems to be needed for chiropodists, dentist, hairdresser, doctor etc etc I shower her and wash her hair/trim her nails, do her shopping, change her bed, do her washing, answer her mail and the list goes on but I know this is nothing to some people and it will only get worse. I just want someone to assess her rationally and make arrangements for the appropriate care. I don't care about money and I'm starting to feel numb as I hardly recognise this lady any more. Yes I'm selfish and just hope I get a break soon.
A parent's poor planning impacts the life of others, now their poor planning is affecting my life and my future, as well as my kids. What a horrible snowball effect. I cared for my mother, and now my dad. My dad had surgery and came to our home for support after a heart attack. He has a 3000 sq foot home 12 miles away. Refuses to live there, refuses to sell it and refuses to take care of it. I now have him, the pool and yard, as well as a houseful of everything to take care of.
No I am not the only sibling, however it is obvious the dumb one.
You feel obligated to care for a parent just as they cared for you as a child. I left home when I was 18 and became independent. I am now 52, have raised 4 children (my youngest is 17 and still at home). I have been a parent for 33 years. Although my youngest is still at home, my father lives with us now. He is not physically unable to live alone, just emotionally; as he says he cannot live alone since our Mother passed away. However when he was my age, his youngest had left home, and he was free to enjoy his 50s, 60s, 70s and early 80s without responsibility. I have left my professional job to help care for my father, whom I love. However, he talks about the same things every day and has a very limited range of conversation. This is not good for my own brain and I am now beginning to feel old before my time. I feel my father has taken over my life and he spends more time with me than my husband and children. He has his own ideas on how things are done and has his principals. There are constant debates over the way we do things and what we believe in, however this is our home and our lives he has entered into. He pays minimal board as we don't feel right about charging too much. If my father didn't live with me, I would be visiting him a couple of times a week and bringing him to our place for dinner on Sunday nights and everyone would be calm,happy and relaxed. On the other hand, my teenage daughter does not leave her room, my husband has to listen to me constantly complaining about the daily events and I am quickly loosing respect for the father I love. This is the most difficult time in my life and I feel powerless in my own home.
Granted, I appreciate my parents for giving me life, but I often wonder if that "tradition" of caring for one's elderly and/or disabled parents is starting to get extremely dated. My parents and whatever relatives that were in their generation never really seemed happy doing it back in their days and I figured once future generations came along not many of the adult children would be willing participants to provide for their aging parents either in such current and future economies.